From Conspirators to Intimates

Perched in their customary spot in Snape's window seat, sharing tea and chocolate biscuits, Hermione and Snape peered out at the early December snow wafting merrily to coat the frozen grounds. Eyes bright with childlike joy, Hermione said, "Oh, I do hope it snows enough for us to build snowmen!"

Snape snorted faintly. "Us? You mean you expect me to get all chilled for your entertainment?"

Hermione favoured him with an aggrieved look and said, "Honestly, you'd survive, Severus. You've still got the cap I knitted for you, don't you?"

His expression melted into one of warm affection and he murmured, "Of course I do, my lady."

She beamed back and said, "And I have the cap and gloves you gave me. They kept us snug throughout all our harvesting, surely a little frolicking won't hurt us!"

"Perhaps. Wouldn't you rather order Liam to entertain you, instead?"

Hermione arched one brow and said, "Oh, I have no preference about which of you I order about."

Snape chuckled. "I believe you. Granted, I'm not as docile a creature as your dear Liam is. And on that note, I do believe it's my turn to do the ordering."

She wrinkled her nose at him and huffed. "I can't get anything past you, can I?"

"Sorry, my lady, but you'd have to be much more cunning to out-manoeuvre a Slytherin double agent."

She flashed him an impish grin and lilted, "Mmm, yes, you do keep me on my toes. Very well then, it is your turn, so what do you command, my lord?"

He leant back against the wall and surveyed her through heavy-lidded eyes. After a long moment of expectant silence, he said, "This may be dreadfully mundane, but I want you to help me with the Christmas party. It's to be the night after Christmas, since that's a Saturday, and everyone will have had a chance to enjoy the holiday the day before. Lazarus is insisting that we have an extravagant event here at the Manor, to celebrate the first Christmas since the war ended. I need your diplomacy to keep me from ruining any amiable relationship I may have with my dear uncle. Otherwise, I fear I may resort to Unforgivables."

He followed his words with a deep sigh, and Hermione felt a pang of sympathy. "Of course I'll help you. But you needn't use your turn on something like that. I'd be happy to help you anyway."

Relief was writ plainly on his face as he breathed, "Thank you, Hermione."

She reached over and squeezed his hand. "Always, Severus."

He lifted her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles; Hermione flushed and smiled at him.

As he released her hand, she said, "Go on then, use your turn for something else. What would you have me do?"

Snape gazed out at the snowy night, pondering. He cut a measuring glance at her, licked his lips, and said, "All right. Tell me about your latest liaison with Liam." He paused, watching her, wondering where she would draw the line in their friendship, then purred, "In detail."

Hermione's eyes widened and she sucked in a breath, tingles racing through her. Holding his gaze, she said, "Are you sure you can handle the details, my lord?"

One corner of his mouth quirking up in a wicked smirk, he said, "If it becomes too much for me, I'll order you to stop."

A surge of heat washed up to tint her cheeks further, and she said, "As you wish, my lord."

Snape's eyes gleamed with interest, and he resettled himself on the window seat, getting more comfortable for her tale.

Hermione cleared her throat, pulse speeding up, and said, "Where shall I start?"

"I know your first encounter was rather governed by your black leather and all that it implied. Has it made an appearance since then?"

She licked her lips and said, "Every time. Unless we go out for dinner or something first, in which case I dress normally."

"And after dinner?"

"We go back to my flat and I change. By the time I come back out, he knows to be stripped and waiting patiently for me on his knees on the floor."

"Every time?"

"Indeed. Who knew, when you chose him as my next target, that he had such a powerful desire to be dominated? I guess it was just blind luck."

Snape sucked in a deep breath to steady the excitement pounding through his veins. "So when he's there, kneeling before you, naked, what do you order him to do?"

Hermione swallowed hard, goose flesh skittering over her in warning that she was about to turn a corner from which she could not retreat. Lifting her chin in a display of defiance, she locked eyes with Snape and said, "Lick me."

The silence following her words was charged, waiting for the fallout of her brazen pronouncement.

Snape saw the challenge in her eyes and refused to back down. They continually upped the stakes in their relationship, yet somehow managed not to cross the line into irreparable damage. He thrilled at the chance to vicariously know Hermione's sensual freedom. It was with steely determination that he said, "How?"

Hermione's head swam; she felt like she had just plummeted down a steep rollercoaster. Gathering her scattered wits, she realized that prickles of what reminded her of the Elixir to Induce Euphoria were spreading through her body. Her voice was low as she said, "First he has to unbuckle my belt. Then he unbuckles the collar and unzips from my throat to my hips. Once he spreads the leather, he leans closer and drags his tongue from my navel down..."

His voice rumbled up from his chest after she trailed off. "How far?"

"Between my legs."

His brow creased with an admonishing frown. "I said, 'how far'?"

She narrowed her eyes and retorted, "The tip of his tongue dips between my pussy lips and circles my clit."

Snape's eyes closed slowly, and his lips twitched. He knew the Gryffindor in her would rise to the occasion. When he opened his eyes again, they were darker than usual, and he said, "There. That wasn't hard, was it?"

"No, but he certainly was."

Her saucy quip took him by surprise, and his eyes flew open wide to gaze at her in amazement. "Touché."

She allowed a small smirk to surface and lilted, "Shall I go on, my lord?"

"Oh, indeed, my lady. Is he any good?"

"Satisfactory. Of course, he follows orders, so he's improved a great deal since the first time."

"What orders do you give him then?"

"I tell him to take my boots off and peel the leather off me. But, for every inch of skin he uncovers, he has to cover it with kisses."

"Reasonable."

"When I'm naked, I sit on the edge of the bed and order him between my legs to lick... and suck... and finger me until I come all over his face." She watched Snape swallow hard, then she flashed a wicked grin and added, "And he's not allowed to stroke his cock. At all."

"You are a cruel mistress, indeed, my lady."

"Yes, well, if he's good, he gets his reward."

"And what is that?"

One brow rose as she enunciated, "He gets to fuck me."

Snape's eyes flashed and he said, "How? Really, Hermione, you keep leaving out the details."

Her eyes narrowed at his lascivious smirk. "It depends on my mood." Snape inclined his head in a gesture for her to continue. "Sometimes I'm focused only on my pleasure, and I lay him flat on his back so I can ride him. I have more control that way. Other times, I just want to be pounded, and he fucks me from behind."

Snape's jaw twitched as he clenched his teeth at that vivid image blazing in his mind. A surge of desire flared up, but it was tempered by the lingering unease that such a position could be so impersonal. Brow furrowed in thought, he said, "Don't you ever want it face to face, wrapped around each other?"

Hermione paused. A wistful pang throbbed in her chest. Her voice was softer as she said, "That has always felt more suited to intimacy. And what I have with Liam... it's not like that."

His eyes narrowed and he scowled in concern. Body tensing, he leant forward and said, "What do you mean?"

She could hear the warning in his voice and recognized his protective impulse. "Honestly, it's not a bad thing. I look at it this way: there's a difference between fucking, having sex, and making love. You know I've been enjoying myself, having unencumbered fun...fucking and having sex. I just... Remember how we said we could have fun while searching for the person we wanted to stay with? Sex with that person could actually be making love. Suffice to say that I haven't found him yet."

"How do you know?"

The sexual titillation of her story faded, replaced by the wary thrill of baring her soul instead of her body. "I've genuinely liked everyone I've been with, or I wouldn't have had sex with them. I have no regrets about that. But, I haven't felt that special connection yet. The one that makes me want to be with them all the time. The one that makes me terrified of ever not having them in my life."

"Sounds like you're talking about love."

She rolled her shoulders and grimaced. "It's more than that. There has to be a physical spark too. I mean, I love Harry and Ron, but not that way. Just like with sex, I see a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone."

"Eros. Not Philia."

Hermione's face lit up...how many people could she have a conversation with who could so casually drop in Greek terms? "Eros is a good start, but I want to add in some Agape too."

Snape nodded and she beamed at him. His expression sobered and he looked away, staring out the window again. "You're not the only one still looking."

There was a long moment of silence, then Hermione murmured, "Severus, may I ask you something?"

He flicked an affectionate glance at her and said, "Always."

Her gut fluttered, but she took the plunge anyway. "Your question about having sex face to face... where did that come from?"

He licked his lips and took a deep breath. "Irina may have started things off with what you might call fucking, but since then, others have responded more to gentler, more tender liaisons."

Hermione flashed a wry expression. "I'm not surprised. Women are socialized to only seek romance and love, not sexual encounters without strings. I'm not exactly toeing the line here. Why do you think the gossipmongers so love to rake me over the coals?"

Snape scowled. "And that's part of the problem: I try to make my intentions plain, and then some of these women just... twist things into something they're not!"

"Like Lucretia?"

He rolled his eyes. "She was the first. And now Carmen is intimating that there's something deeper between us. It's not that I don't care about them. Like you said, I wouldn't be with them if I didn't, at least to some degree. But I don't love them, and I'm certainly not in love with them. And as much as the sex is enjoyable, the more of a disconnect there is about what we're actually doing, the more hollow the experience becomes, and then I feel even worse for not being able to give them what they want."

"What you want is important, Severus. You spent far too long catering to others' needs and wishes. It's about time you focused on you." He met her stern gaze, quirking one brow in inquiry when her expression turned sheepish. "And as far as our little games go...you do know that you don't have to do whatever I say when it's my turn, don't you?"

At that, he grinned. "Of course. But that's the fun of it. I know I can trust you to not put me in a position to not be willing to do as you say...you understand me so well, Hermione."

Her throat tightened even as she beamed at him, so she was only able to whisper, "I can't tell you how happy I am that you feel that way."

His grin softened to a smile, and they locked fond gazes. "Likewise." After a long beat of silence, they blinked and looked away. When their eyes met again, the intensity of the moment had dissipated. He cleared his throat and said, "Do you have time right now to help me wrangle party details? Lazarus said it was on me to prepare, as a way of taking the Snape mantle, but he will second-guess everything if it doesn't measure up to his standards."

Hermione shook herself, grateful to be able to settle back into the comforting familiarity of their camaraderie. The strong attraction she had for him could be dangerous if she acted on it. "Certainly. What did you have in mind?"

"Come along downstairs and I'll show you."

He offered his hand and she took it. Together, hands clasped, they made their way out of his room to explore how the Manor could provide its own festivities.

*****

A few days before Christmas, Snape was distracted from his and Lazarus' supervision of decorators in the Manor ballroom by Oggy popping up beside him and saying, "Master Severus, Miss Hermione is asking for you. Miss is waiting in the library."

Snape frowned in concern. "Thank you, Oggy. Uncle, you can manage without me, can't you?"

Lazarus waved a hand and said, "Certainly! Go see your lady friend, Severus."

Snape nodded and spun on his heel, hastening through the corridors to the library. When he entered, he saw her standing in front of the crackling fire, her back to him, head bowed, and her arms wrapped tightly around herself. His gut lurched and he slowed his stride to approach more gently. "Hermione, are you all right?"

She twitched in a faint shrug, but she didn't reply. Snape stepped up beside her and heard her sniffle from behind the shielding curtain of curls.

His hands rose, wanting to touch her, but unsure of his reception. "What's wrong?"

He heard her thick swallow before she murmured, "I ended it with Liam." She paused, and a shudder rippled over her even as she choked back a sob. "He hates me."

At that, he closed the distance between them and enveloped her in an embrace, stroking her hair and whispering soothing nonsense as she cried against his chest. After her first paroxysm eased, he guided her to sit on the sofa and Summoned a handkerchief. She took it, wiped her face, and blew her nose before muttering a quick Scourgify at his damp shirt. Snape sat facing her, one leg bent between them on the cushion, pressed against the outside of her thigh. One arm was draped along the back of the sofa and his other hand was gripping her knee in comfort. When she sank back against the sofa, his free hand began caressing her hair again.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

She looked at his worried expression through puffy eyes and said, "I wouldn't feel right telling anyone else."

His lips twitched in a faint smile and she offered a tremulous smile in return. "What would you like to drink? Is this a tale for tea or Firewhisky? Or do we need to bring out the big guns and have Oggy bring us some ice cream?"

Her hand squeezed his on her knee and she said, "Tea and biscuits should do it, I think."

He summoned Oggy and said, "Please bring me a tea service with chocolate biscuits, and use my set."

Seconds later, Oggy appeared with the service and placed it on the low table between them and the hearth. Oggy bowed in response to their chorused "Thank you" and Disapparated. They busied themselves with preparing their cups, giving Hermione time to regain her composure.

After her first sip, she sighed and leant back again, closing her eyes at Snape's instant caress, brushing over her curls. "I feel so awful."

"Take your time."

She took another deep breath and said, "I've known for a while now that I should end things with him. I was just lazy and enjoying the fun, so I kept putting it off. But then he started talking about spending Christmas together and I froze." She turned pleading eyes to Snape and said, "I realized that he thought there was more to our relationship than I did, and it wasn't just recreational for him. I just recoiled from the idea of sharing Christmas with him...I'd rather be here with you, like we planned...and I had to do something about it right then." Her eyes closed and she shuddered again. "His face... it was so horrid! I hadn't paid enough attention before and had led him on like this. He was devastated. I... I've never made a grown man cry before."

Fresh tears welled up, and Snape gently plucked her teacup from her grasp to set on the table by his. Then, he twisted forward and slid closer, slipping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to rest against his chest again, guiding her arm around his waist. She squirmed, settling closer, and he rested his chin on her head.

"Hermione, please listen. I know you feel awful right now, but that's because you have that laudable quality called empathy. And if there's one thing you've taught me in this whole 'sowing wild oats' thing, it's that you have to be empathetic to the people you're with, so you engage in whatever you agree on ethically. You didn't feel the same way about Liam as he did about you, so it was only ethical to break things off. I know you make your intentions clear from the start. Perhaps the nature of your power play clouded things for him, but it was better that you break it off than lead him on even more with false pretences."

Hermione's voice was small as she asked, "Did any of your women cry when you ended things with them?"

He heaved a sigh. "More than one. Carmen was quite distraught when I broke it off. It was incredibly painful and awkward, but there was no other option."

There was a long silence, then Hermione mumbled, "I think I should take a break from dating for a while."

Snape chuckled. "Ready to end our little competition?"

She huffed and growled, "Yes. The stakes just got too high." A beat later, she said, "Oh! But that doesn't mean you have to stop dating."

He squeezed her and murmured, "I think I shall be glad of the excuse, my lady."

She reached forward and picked up her cup, then shifted to sit beside him so that her head rested on his shoulder and she had space to drink. With his arm moved down between them, it was easy for her to lace her fingers with his as they sat in companionable silence with the comfort of their shared ritual of tea and biscuits.

When her cup was empty, Snape murmured, "Feeling better?"

She lifted her head to look at him and smiled. "I always feel better with you, my lord."

He grinned back and said, "My lady is too kind. I have an idea to cheer you up even more..."

Brows rising in surprise, she said, "Oh? What's that?"

His eyes gleamed with mischief. "Why don't I give you your present now, instead of waiting these last few days?"

She shot up in excitement. "Really?" He nodded and she beamed at him. "Oh, that'd be lovely! Let me go get yours, too!"

He chuckled and stood, pleased to see her changed demeanour. "Very well then. Let's meet back in my room. Decorators are here, and I don't want to be interrupted."

"I'll meet you there shortly." She burst forward and threw her arms around his waist hugging him again. "Thank you, Severus, for being there for me."

He rubbed her back and murmured, "Always."

She backed away and flashed him a grateful smile before dashing off to the Floo. Snape hurried up to his room and took her gifts over to the window seat, then paused with a grimace. He frowned in thought, then heaved a sigh and placed both packages on the plush cushion. Soon, Hermione burst into the room, both hands hidden behind her back. She bounded over to the window seat and grinned at him as she brandished two brightly wrapped boxes.

They sank into their customary seats and shared looks of giddy anticipation. Snape proffered one gift and Hermione bounced as she tore off the paper. She opened the box and lifted a book from the tissue within. "Which Witch?... ooh, what is it about?"

She eagerly flipped through the pages as Snape said, "It's about trailblazing witches throughout history. Every few years they update it; I expect to see you in it next time 'round." Hermione lifted shining eyes to him, stunned. He flashed a sheepish smile and said, "I figured that your enlightened, feminist viewpoint could appreciate others who came before you."

Her frantic fingers slowed to a more reverent pace, and she gazed at the pictures of strong women nodding at her. Her voice was low and full of emotion as she said, "It's brilliant, Severus. Thank you. I would be honoured to be included in this book."

His cheeks warmed in satisfaction at her reaction. She beamed at him and carefully wrapped the book up again before handing him a package. He meticulously unwrapped it, smirking at her huffs of impatience. It was a wooden casket with brass hinges and fittings. He opened it to see it neatly sectioned out into compartments filled with packets of teabags. Upon further inspection, he realized that there was a second tier, and he lifted the upper level out, revealing even more packets. Stuck against the inside of the lid, he read the list of all the teas contained therein.

"It's a collection of tea from all over the world. I so enjoy our tea dates that I thought it would be fun to try different things. The list tells where it's from and some other details about the tea or the location."

He carefully set the upper level back in the box and lifted a packet of tea, sniffing delicately at it. His lips spread in an appreciative smile and he met her eyes. "I look forward to trying all of them with you, Hermione. Thank you."

She bit her lip in flattered pleasure. They sat there, grinning at each other for a long moment, then Snape shook himself and flicked a glance at the other gift he had for her. His grin faltered, and he cleared his throat. "Uh... I don't know that I should give you this, under the circumstances."

Frowning in confusion, she said, "What circumstances?"

He ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck, a flush creeping up his neck to warm his cheeks. "The...uh...circumstances that brought you here tonight."

She blinked and seemed to deflate a bit, sagging against the wall behind her. "Oh. Well... How about you open your other present, and then we can decide if mine should wait?"

Snape nodded hastily and cleared his throat. Hermione handed him the other package and he unwrapped it, not quite as meticulously as the first one. He glanced up to see her watching him, biting her lip, expression unsure of his reception. He opened the box and lifted the tissue away, uncovering a pile of rich, shimmering fabric.

Brow furrowing, he lifted the fabric, and it unfolded into a long black silk scarf. Beneath it was another one, and when he lifted it, draping it across his arm with the first one, he saw a third one, this time in the same midnight blue of his Gala robes. He continued removing each scarf until he had two black, two blue, and two pewter ones trailing from his arms. He cast an inquiring look at Hermione, who had managed to blush during his performance.

Her voice was low as she said, "I hope I haven't crossed a line, Severus, but, after our talks where you wanted to know more about the sort of play I've tried, I thought it might be worthwhile for you to have your own stuff to use if things ever tilted that direction with your dates."

His eyes widened. "These are for..."

When he trailed off, staring owlishly at the scarves again, she said, "Restraints. Or blindfolds. Of course, they're colours that suit you anyway, so you can always use them as they're intended, as clothing, but they're soft and smooth and can be used to heighten sensation when used properly."

Snape stared at the supple lengths slithering across his hands and swallowed at the surge of lust that coiled in his gut. His pulse sped up, and he fought to keep breathing regularly. She was his best friend, and she had just gone through a traumatic breakup. The last thing she should have to deal with was his inappropriate lewd thoughts.

He cleared his throat and smoothed the fabric into folds, replacing them in the box. "They're lovely, Hermione. Thank you."

She flashed a tight smile. "Perhaps your next conquest will be adventurous and you can try them out."

"Perhaps."

There was an awkward pause, and then Hermione said, "So, um, shall I go ahead and open my other present or wait?"

He stared at the package, then looked back at her suggestive gift to him. Apparently, he hadn't erred in his thoughts when he decided what to give her. He exhaled slowly as he handed the box to her.

Hermione smiled and tore off the paper. She opened the box and lifted a tissue-wrapped item, unrolling it to see that it was a bottle. Snape's distinctive scrawl adorned the label. Her head tilted and she frowned, puzzled. Her mouth opened as if she was going to speak, but she didn't, and went on to unwrap the other bottles and jars. When she had them all laid out before her, her eyes went round and she gasped.

"Forgive me..."

Her wide eyes snapped up to his pained expression as he spoke and she cut him off with a vehement, "Severus!" He stayed silent, pinned by her gaze. Her voice was carefully neutral as she said, "Did you brew these yourself?" He nodded. She looked back at the assortment and touched each one in turn as she recited, "Warming massage oil: Cinnamon flavour. Personal lubricant: Strawberry flavour. Personal lubricant: Vanilla flavour. Personal lubricant: Mango Mandarin flavour. Sensation Enhancing Unguent: Jasmine scent. Stamina Cream: Bergamot scent. Stamina Cream: Musk scent."

The silence at the end of her speech was charged. Snape's jaw ached with the effort of not offering apologies for his presumption.

Her fingers trailed over the handwritten labels. Her voice was barely above a murmur as she said, "You know my favourites. This is extraordinary, Severus. Only you could give me something this perfect."

Relief crashed over him, and Snape exhaled a long, shaky breath. Voice rough, he said, "It was all in fun, playing up to your delight in sensuality. I had no idea you would be distraught by the very partner you had been playing with all this time."

Her hand shot across the window seat to grip his. "Of course you didn't. No one could have known that. These are really quite creative and special." She lifted her eyes to his, smiling fondly. "Thank you. You've rather outdone yourself, my lord."

He smiled back, affectionate warmth spreading over the previous heat of desire. Grateful to have helped her feel better, he cocked an eyebrow at her and said, "Well, I do hope you'll let me know how good they are, my lady."

Hermione grimaced and voiced a rueful snort. "That may take a while, considering I'm definitely taking a break!"

Snape chuckled. "I assure you that I made certain they were of the best quality and should have a healthy shelf life. As long as you don't stay on the shelf for too long...which would be a tragedy for the wizarding world...they should be fine."

She ducked her head and murmured, "My lord is too kind."

A companionable silence fell, each of them admiring their gifts. Eventually, Snape said, "Well, now that we've done this tonight, we won't have that on our agenda on Christmas. Do you still want to come for dinner?"

She shot him an aggrieved look and said, "Of course! I'll be visiting my folks Christmas Eve and staying the night so we can do Christmas morning stockings and presents. Then I'll stop by Grimmauld Place and the Burrow during the day, and I'll be here for the afternoon. I wouldn't miss your first Christmas dinner in the Manor for all the tea in China!"

Snape lifted the wooden casket and made an exaggerated show of peering at the list of teas in it, saying, "Or Japan. Or Thailand. Or India. Or..."

Hermione burst out laughing, making Snape grin in satisfaction. "Touché. Speaking of Christmas at Snape Manor, will you show me the decorations? And have you decided what you'll be wearing to the party?"

Snape set the gifts aside and stood, offering his hand. "It would be my pleasure to show you the decorations you so graciously helped me choose, my lady." She took his hand and he shifted to wrap her hand around the crook of his arm. "And yes, I obtained new robes for the occasion last week."

They walked through corridors and down stairs toward the ballroom, and Hermione said, "I found a lovely gown, too. It's Christmassy colours, but I'm afraid you might think it far too Gryffindor for Snape Manor."

He slanted a mischievous look at her and drawled, "Oh, I don't know. We Snapes may have traditionally been Slytherins, but I can personally attest to the fact that some truly wonderful things have come from Gryffindor House."

Hermione laughed again and hugged his arm. "My lord is sweet."

Their banter faded as they entered the ballroom, but the warmth of their friendship stayed strong and true.