Chapter Thirty-five: Owning Up

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Chapter Thirty-five: Owning Up

"You did WHAT?"

Snape tugged his sleeves up a little to show his irate headmistress the evidence.

Minerva peered at the tattoo encircling his slender wrists. Tracing the design with her fingers, she shook her head. "Unbelievable. You say the Room fulfilled the conditions?"

"It appeared to know what it was doing."

Her brow wrinkled as she recalled some of the requirements for a Handfasting. Lips pursed, she glared at her Potions professor. "Exactly why were you and Miss Granger together, barely dressed, in the Room of Requirement last night?"

Snape raised a lazy eyebrow. "Barely dressed would be an overstatement, and as far as our activities are concerned, I suspect you'd rather not know."

"I take it the union has been consummated?" Noting Snape's satisfied smirk, she didn't wait for a reply. "I'll need to notify the Board of Governors before the Ministry does. No doubt your deed has appeared in the Register of Betrothals, Handfastings, and Marriages by now. Luckily, it is Monday, and I recall Arthur Weasley once mentioning nothing ever gets done before eleven on a Monday morning. Interdepartmental meetings, apparently. With a little luck, no-one will check the Registry before this afternoon.

"Miss Gr... Madam Snape will be wanting to relocate her possessions to your rooms; however, I would ask you to delay that until after dinner tonight when an announcement of her new status can be made."

"She has decided to remain Miss Granger until the school year is complete. She seemed to be of the opinion that taking my name while sitting in a class with her peers might create a little... tension."

It was Minerva's turn to raise an eyebrow. "She always was perceptive. Do you have any problem with her plan?"

He shook his head. "No. The last thing I wish for her is estrangement from her classmates. She will face enough speculation as it is. In regard to that, I would ask you to arrange alternative marking for her Potions samples and essays until the end of the year."

"Do you believe you cannot remain impartial, Severus?"

"Not at all. If anything, she would probably complain I have marked her more severely over the last few months, but others may not see it that way. For her own peace of mind, I need to have no part in her grades beyond overseeing her in the classroom."

"Very well, I shall contact the authorities tomorrow. And one more thing."

"Yes, Minerva?"

"As disappointed as I am not to have conducted the ceremony for you, I wish you both every happiness. You deserve it." Before Snape could move out of reach, Minerva gathered him into an embrace and kissed his cheek. "Look after that exceptional young lady, Severus. She'll be the making of you."

"She already is." Snape startled the older witch by returning her kiss with one of his own. "Now, may I be excused?"

"Don't twinkle at me, young man. And make sure you two are seen at breakfast. I do not want tongues wagging unnecessarily."

As she reached for a quill and parchment, Minerva debated with herself as to whether Snape really had winked as he had turned for the door.

***

"Oh, hi, Hermione. We were just wondering where you'd disappeared to last night. You missed quite a party in your honour." Ginny and Blaise were waiting for her as she left her room after returning for a quick shower before breakfast.

Hermione frowned. "What party?"

"The party to celebrate your betrothal to Professor Snape. Everyone came, even the Slytherins. But not you." Ginny grinned and winked.

"We assumed you were participating in a private celebration of your own. Especially as no-one had seen Snape stalking the halls as he usually would on Valentine's Day. I hear the Astronomy Tower was quite busy for most of the evening," Blaise added.

"I... er... Well, yes." Her blush confirmed her friends' suspicions nicely.

"Well?"

"Well, what, Gin?"

"Did you have any time between other activities to make arrangements for the Handfasting?"

Fidgeting with her cuffs, Hermione took a deep breath and waited for the explosion. "There's something I need to tell you about that. It's not..."

"Dammit, Hermione, has that man upset you again? I've a good mind to..."

"No, Blaise. Calm down. It's not like that. The thing is... Well..."

"What?" Ginny's impatience had her dancing around on the spot.

"We didn't mean to, really, but there's no need for a Handfasting." Without further explanation, Hermione showed the two purebloods her wrists.

"Hermione! How did you manage that?" Ginny almost managed to control the excited squeal.

"Granger, you devious cow!" Blaise stared at her in admiration for a moment, then nodded to himself as he understood. "Room of Requirement, right?"

"What does that have to do with it?"

"Everything, Ginny. Severus and I were discussing the Handfasting ritual and happened to repeat some of the vows made..."

"Fucking hell, Hermione! You two idiots were standing there naked, holding hands, and just happened to say the binding words. In the bloody Room of Requirement. Are you both completely daft?"

"Naked? Who said they were naked? Nobody said they were naked!" Ginny looked from one friend to the other, eyes wide.

"Trust me. For that ritual to have been completed with no-one else present – I assume you weren't involved in any kinky threesome or orgy, Granger, because I'd be awfully offended you hadn't invited me – they needed to be naked. The Room provided the ribbons?"

Hermione nodded. Once again, Blaise had proven how well he knew wizarding customs.

"And you're supposed to be the know-it-all. Unbelievable." Blaise shrugged. "Oh, well, it's done now. And we'd better get to breakfast. Handfasted or not, you're still due in class in less than an hour, Madam Snape."

"It's Granger. For now. It'll be easier."

"He agreed?"

"He's not entirely insensitive, you know." Hermione huffed as she turned for the door.

Hermione pulled her sleeves down to cover her wrists as she filled Ginny in on how the Handfasting had occurred on the way to the Great Hall. The sudden silence as she entered the hall spoke volumes as all eyes watched her walk down the room to her usual spot at the Gryffindor table. When it became apparent she had not grown two heads or was about to burst into joyful song, the babble of conversation resumed, but not without watchful eyes directed both at her and the head table where Severus Snape had yet to put in an appearance.

"Where is he?" whispered Ginny.

"Presumably still with Professor McGonagall. He went to inform her of what happened."

Ginny sighed. "Such a gentleman, taking the responsibility by himself. If only more men were like him."

Hermione grinned. "What, short-tempered, sarcastic bastards?"

"You can't say that about the man you've just shagged." Ginny produced her best Molly expression. "I presume you shagged him thoroughly after the Handfasting was complete."

"Yes, I can, and yes, I did. He's not perfect, and I doubt he'll change into a sweet, charming soft touch like Remus was, but then again, I'm no saint either. Just ask Umbridge."

Ginny shook her head. "No way. I wouldn't go near that hag voluntarily for all the Galleons in Gringotts."

A giggle announced the arrival of Lavender and Parvati, who settled themselves on the bench either side of Hermione.

"Lavender told me about you and Professor Snape," began Parvati. "Is it true? You and him? Together?"

"Yes. It's true."

"But... why?" Parvati looked genuinely perplexed.

"For the usual reasons, of course."

"But he's..."

"Don't even go there, Parvati," Ginny interrupted. "Trust me."

Parvati nudged Lavender. "Go on, ask her again."

"No, you do it."

"Ask me what?" Hermione noticed Snape had appeared at the staff table and was watching the proceedings at the Gryffindor table with interest.

Leaning forward with her back to the top of the room, Parvati whispered, "How big is it?"

Hermione just managed to refrain from rolling her eyes. "What is it with you two? You're obsessed!"

The two girls either side of her had the grace to blush but moved closer anyway.

Incensed, Hermione continued. "You really want to know about your Potions professor's penis?" I'll teach them to be careful what they ask for.

Lavender and Parvati squirmed in their seats.

"Would that be when it's flaccid, like when he was teaching you lot? Or maybe when I undress in front of him – and yes, I do, Parvati – and it's erect? Or perhaps when it's rock hard and ready to burst after I've been pleasuring him..." She lowered her voice, forcing her two housemates to lean closer. "...With my lips and tongue?" Hermione licked her lips and glanced up at her husband.

"Ew, Hermione! There's no need to be crude!" Lavender screwed up her face.

Yes! Got her! Now she'll leave me in peace.

But Lavender had no intention of leaving. "You do that? To him?

Bloody hell! They're still here.

"Yes, Lavender. I do." Hermione's set expression would have been warning enough to her closest friends. "Is there anything else you'd like to know?"

After a quick whispered conference with Parvati, Lavender turned back to Hermione. "Well, actually... Does he like it? I can just imagine the expression on his face as he loses control, groaning in ecstasy. Does he close his eyes and shout out your name when he comes? We've always wondered what Professor Snape would look like then, haven't we, Parv? They say the most repressed men are the most passionate when they finally let go. Is it true? Does he..."

Merlin, she's like a Niffler that's found its way into Malfoy Manor. Hermione closed her eyes and allowed Lavender's voice to babble on, almost soothing in its endless flow, until she noticed Ginny's pale face and wide eyes staring at something behind her.

"... Truth to tell, we sort of fancy him a bit ourselves now he's not teaching us anymore. He's got that sort of bad boy thing going with all the black robes and sneers. And that voice... it could melt anyone's knickers. You're so lucky, getting to know the real Severus Snape. I wonder what he's like to live with?"

"Intolerant, demanding, ill-tempered, and tedious. But she can't say I didn't warn her." Snape himself stood behind Hermione, resting his hands on her shoulders. "And twenty points from Gryffindor for excessive nosiness, Miss Brown. If you have any further questions about my sex life, you are welcome to come for a detention and ask. Of course, you are unlikely to get any satisfaction."

For once in her life, Lavender Brown could not muster so much as a giggle. Blushing furiously, she dragged Parvati to her feet, and the pair almost ran from the Great Hall.

Hermione leaned back against Snape's lean body and sighed. "I wouldn't encourage them if I were you, Severus. They're likely to turn up for detention just to spend time with your knicker-melting voice and bad-boy robes."

"They'd only do it once. I'm sure a few hours spent disembowelling horned toads would prove an effective deterrent."

"Stop looking so pleased at the prospect. I'm sure you could think of better things to do than supervise those two."

"I'm sure I can." His thumbs promised everything as he brushed the sensitive skin exposed at her neck, and he dropped his voice for her ears alone. "Minerva suggested we delay your move to the dungeons until after she has announced our Handfasting at dinner. She wishes to notify the Board of Governors before the news spreads any further." With a final discreet caress, Snape swept off, leaving Hermione to her friends' curiosity.

"Where did Lav and Parvati go in such a hurry? They haven't eaten yet," Ron called from several places down the table.

"Let's just say they'll think twice about asking Hermione personal questions in the future." Ginny grinned at Hermione. "Consider yourself lucky it wasn't Terry and Mandy. You wouldn't have distracted them. They'd have wanted to know measurements in all three scenarios to the nearest quarter of an inch. Bloody pedantic Ravenclaws."

Blaise had lost his usual serene expression. "I can't believe you were discussing Snape's... er... personal measurements with those two. Shall I arrange the obituary now?"

"Settle down, Zabini." Ginny patted his hand. "No numbers were exchanged, remember."

"Do they know you've already Handfasted?"

"No. They can find out when everyone else does. Professor McGonagall will make an announcement at dinner; then I'll move my things to Severus's quarters. Or, rather, our quarters."

This time, Ginny let out a little squeal. "You're moving in. Oh, Merlin!"

"Of course I'm moving in. What's the point of being Handfasted if we don't live together?"

"Of course. I just hadn't thought it through that far. I wonder what he'll be like to live with."

Hermione groaned. "Not you too!"

"What have we missed? I hear the news about you and Snape is out." Harry squeezed in between Ginny and Blaise while Ron took the space vacated by Lavender.

"That's old news, Harry." Ginny patted his cheek. "You boys missed a lot while you were sleeping in this morning."

"Who slept in? We were here in time for breakfast, and that's the main thing." Ron was still chewing on his last bite of toast. "And what's this I hear about a Handfasting? Do we get to participate in the ceremony? I've always wanted to do Air. Flying, and all, you know."

Hermione glanced around the table, ensuring no-one else was within earshot. "You know I would have asked you, Ron, but it's too late. Severus and I... well, we sort of did it ourselves last night in the Room of Requirement. It wasn't intentional..."

Ron's eyes narrowed. "How did you fulfil the necessary conditions?"

"Never mind about that, mate." Blaise came to the rescue. "They've gone and deprived us of a party, that's what they've done. What shall we do about it?"

"Nothing until after it's officially announced." Hermione put her finger to her lips. "And you're the only people who know apart from Professor McGonagall. And I'll tell Luna. No-one else is to know until dinner."

"So, no party until after dinner, then?" Ron beamed.

"No party, Ronald."

"But how did you Handfast yourselves? What happens in a Handfasting anyway?" Harry was having trouble keeping up. By the time he had been enlightened, it was almost time for their first class.

Potions.

Oh, fuck. Terry and Mandy will be there. What fun. Hermione collected her school bag from under the table and set off with Blaise, Harry, and Ron to face the reaction of her other classmates.

***

A/N: This was written for shalimar1981 for the TPP Every Flavour Auction. My sublime beta is karelia, and let's all wish her a Happy Birthday!