Chapter 18

All canon characters belong to JKR.

Thank you to June for being my beta.

Chapter 18

Hermione felt as though she had just been pushed off a cliff. She couldn’t believe what he had just said to her. In that brief moment, when he finally looked at her, she could see only contempt in his eyes. She moved away from him slightly and sat back in her chair. She wasn’t sure what to do at this point. She doubted she should ask him to explain further, as what he had just said did not need much clarification. But what the hell had happened? He was fine when they last saw each other. She tried to think of what may have happened Saturday evening, but could not think with all the noise around her, not to mention his now cold demeanor had her out of sorts.

She needed to get out of there, and away from him. She could feel the sting of tears forming in her eyes, and didn’t want him to see her crying. She pushed her seat back and started to get up.

“Leaving so soon?” he asked, as he took a sip of his coffee.

“Yes, I find the air in here to be a bit rancid!” she spat out, as she threw her napkin on her plate. She practically flew out of the Great Hall.

Albus and Minerva had observed the entire exchange with confusion. Something had happened, and it was not good; that much they could surmise. Minerva looked at Albus with an extremely worried expression. He patted her hand and leaned towards her.

“Most probably a disagreement, nothing more,” Albus said.

“She looked quite upset.” Minerva looked toward the door Hermione had just exited through. “I hope you are right, Albus.”

* * * * * *

Hermione walked briskly towards the dungeons. Once she was out of view, she broke down. Her body slid down the wall she had been leaning against, and she buried her head in her hands. All this time he had been using her, and no doubt laughing at her behind her back. She felt like a perfect fool. She needed to pull herself together and fast. She had classes in less than half an hour and couldn’t afford to have anything go wrong. If he had reverted to being a bastard, the last thing she needed was to give him a reason to have her fired. She wiped her tears and walked back to her rooms.

She just wanted to crawl into bed and wake up from this nightmare. Hermione loved him; she loved him desperately. Even though he often called her “love,” he never actually had said the words, and really, neither had she. Looking back she supposed she made it easy for him to do what he did. Severus hadn’t been a spy all those years for nothing. He fooled Voldemort for years, so why was it so hard to believe he had fooled her. It didn’t matter though, because she still loved him. Deep within the recesses of her mind, she thought perhaps he had just been playing with her, that he didn’t mean what he had said to her. Deciding it would be best to just leave him alone until later, she went to the classroom to await her students.

* * * * * *

Severus sat staring at his plate. He hated himself for saying those things to her. Unfortunately, his words were true; however, it was the other way around. For Severus had found his soul mate, or at least he thought he had. He loved her; he loved her with a desperation he could not explain. He had rarely felt love during his life. He loved his mother, and he knew she loved him as well, but this kind of love was different. He wanted to hold Hermione, to kiss her, to stroke her hair. But she did not want those things, at least not from him. He knew from the look on her face that she knew she had been caught. She most probably was back in her rooms trying to figure out a way to get out of it, perhaps try to get him to think she really did care for him.

He threw his fork down in disgust, and looked up. Students were beginning to leave their tables and going to their first classes of the day. He sighed heavily, and stood. He would see her again at lunch, then at dinner. Much as he wanted to avoid having any contact with her, he could not have all his meals in his quarters. As he walked towards the DADA classroom, he shook his head. Why had she come back? Why did he let himself fall under he spell? He should have kept his distance; he should not have let the image of so long ago influence him as much as it did. God, he hated himself right now. He hated himself because he wanted to hate her, but he couldn’t. He needed to be strong. In his mind, Hermione had played a game with the wrong man. Severus Snape knew how to please women, but he also knew how to hurt them.

* * * * * *

Hermione was halfway through with her second class of the day when she began to feel ill. She had been feeling this way for a little over a week. She excused herself, and then ran to her room. She barely made it to the toilet before she threw up all over her robes. When she was done, she muttered a Cleansing spell and walked to the vanity. As she splashed cold water on her face, she thought back. She had no time to look at her calendar, but she didn’t really need to look at it. As she gazed at her reflection, she thought back on the past two months.

“No,” she whispered. “Not now, not like this. Please, not like this.” She bowed her head and began to cry once more. During their first month together, she and Severus were both careful about performing contraceptive spells. However, looking back, she knew she had forgotten to cast the spell more than once or twice. There were times when they could not wait to have each other, and then after hours of pleasuring each other, they would wind up falling asleep in each other’s arms. She was not ill, nor had she eaten anything disagreeable; therefore she knew of no other reason than the obvious.

She was pregnant.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Okay before anyone points it out, I know that Hermione winds up pregnant in every story. That may be true, but for my purposes this works.