I Can't Believe They Write These Things
ladyofthemasque38 Reviews | 6.95/10 (38 Ratings, 0 Likes, 20 Favorites )
A brief glimpse into the current-day life of SS/HG, and how they might handle all this fanfic...
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About ladyofthemasque
Author
ladyofthemasque
Member Since 2005 | 37 Stories | Favorited by 1,485 | 368 Reviews Written | 1,311 Review Responses
I have to apologize to everyone, period. Real life swallowed me whole, as I have been struggling to make a living writing original fiction over the last 8 years. It has not been easy, & has been complicated by health issues. I hope people can forgive my long silences. Trying to make enough money to live on from writing is a lot harder--waaaay harder--than it looks. (At least I didn't leave any posted fanfics unfinished.)
Anyhoo...
These stories are works of parody (& thus are allowable under US law), and are not written for profit. Just for fun. I'm not making any money off of any fanfics, nor will I ever. I'm just playing around in other writers' universes.
...I am, however, making something of a living off my own stories. (If anyone wants to play around in my universes, you may visit my website, www.jeanjohnson.net, and look up my policy on Fanfics & Fanarts. It's reasonable enough and fairly easy to follow, too...)
~Lotm
Reviews for I Can't Believe They Write These Things
Lol, JKR as Skeeter :)) But, really, she shouldn't have killed Severus Snape!
Loved it. Thank you!
“She tried to make Ron sound like a strategic genius in the first book to quash Harry’s fame, and then made him sound like a sexual version of a lamprey eel by the fifth book.”
LOL! Spot on!
Lovely. I'm glad their great fans! Do the give good con-crit?
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
They do, occasionally. Well, Severus snarks an awful lot, and Hermione gets awfully nit-picky...but when they like something, they let you know that, too....Sorry for the delay in response, plot-bunnies and buying a house have enslaved me for the last, um...year?~Lotm
The Homonymicide Squad!! Now their wood bee a grate weigh four a righter to fics her fix!Lovely to see another fanfic from you - thanks!
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
Look up "homonymicide" on LJ, and you'll find a certain Ladyofthemasque as its Chief Examiner, and several others as members of the morgue & mortuary crew...~Lmaoaka Lotm
Yummy, yummy!! As always with your stories. Thanks for taking the time off to write this piece. It was lovely...
And yes, time and time again, I agree with you. He's a fucking Potions Master!
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
My pleasure...~Lotm
hehe. my favorite part was their reaction to the notion that severus would consider sharing his beloved with one or more malfoys. *snorts*
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
Hee!~Lotm
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
Considering I've been known to enjoy reading a good Snape/Granger/Malfoy(s) fic from time to time (though not write them), I couldn't help but include that one in there to poke fun at it. Yes, even my own likes are fair game for lampooning, nyahahaha!~Lotm
Ahhh! I almost forgot about the papercuts. Must reread immediately! Lovely ficlet! :D
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
*teehee*~Lotm
That was fun! I enjoy Hermione and Severus "crossing over into real life" fics. They seem to usually be reserved for a tribute to someone for a birthday or get well. It's fun to see one posted on TPP.I especially loved the Skeeter/Rowling connection. :)
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
I got bit by a stray SS/HG bunny. Most of 'em these days are original plot-bunnies...and boy, is my tuckus sore! *rubs her bunny-bites* Of course, I'm not the first to suggest a Skeeter/Rowling conspiracy theory...but you have to admit, it would make sense!~Lotm
This is a jolly good idea. What would the characters think of the way they were portrayed both by JKR and the deluge of fan-fics? My guess is that, when it comes to the ending, they’d probably prefer some of the fan-fics. I wonder how HP will be regarded after 100 or 200 years. Will it be in the same league as Sherlock Holmes and Dickens' novels, or will it be simply forgotten after a few years as a popular but not very well written saga?
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
I think the HP series is destined to be considered a classic (cult classic if nothing else, but it will endure). Those Hewlett-Packard printers are really...lol, just kidding. Seriously, Harry Potter has had a huge impact on the pop culture world. Whether or not they are well-written is immaterial. Frank L. Baum's Wizard of Oz series isn't particularly brilliantly written, either, but it is still popular with readers even a century or so later. HP's popularity will wax and wane like the cycles of the moon, but it's one of those things that will come back at some point after it's faded.!Lotm
yay! I love anything and everything by Lotm! I'm so glad you found some time to write a piece of fanfic, and I hope you find more :)
We write it. We read it. We love it. Get used to it :PThanks for the giggles! /M
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
~Lotm
I love it, but then again I love anything you write.
He is a Potion Master. Why did he choose dead, It's complete onlogic. That is a cowers way, and not in charater of Severus.But for Rowling it is easy writing, he is dead, 3 or 4 linesto explain and ready.She took the easy way out with writing the last book.
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
I know...I tried to end my own 8 book series with a lot more strength in the plotlines and the characters than that. A good strong finish for a good strong story.Nope, I don't like short-sheeting my readers. I'm a reader, too, after all.~Lotm
Very funny take on what my OTP would have to say about some of the portrayals of them in fanfic.I adored the mention of the work of Skeeter/Rowling, but my favorite line was this: “He put his arms around her biological refuse. Her w-a-s-t-e instead of her w-a-i-s-t.” Thank you for a good laugh!Beth
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
As the Chief Examiner of the Homonymicide Squad...I can't tell you how many times I've had to scrub and sanitize my exam tables in the Squad's labs after seeing this particular homonymic horror being perpetrated time and time again...~Lotm
cute and clever. thanks
Thanks for the laughs. My favorite lines were “I hardly think the ‘official’ version is any better,” Severus grumbled. “Particularly that last book. Who the hell would believe that I would allow myself to die from a simple snakebite?”“Or that I would marry a brainless jock?” Hermione scoffed.How true!
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
*hugs*~Lotm
Brilliant, especially going to far as to have JKR be Rita Skeeter - I loved it!
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
What? You mean Rita Skeeter wasn't blatant author insertion? *gaping innocent look* (Just kidding!)*snerk*~Lotm
LOLThat was incredible funny.I think I might really regret not going to Azkatraz now, whith those two being there.
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
Ahhh, but how MANY Weasley Twins will be there? How will you know which set is which? And who says they don't have *other* costume disguises planned?...Confession time, this was actually a nod to Sbrande and her twin, who did a wonderful job with the Weasley Twins at Portus...~Lotm
That was really good fun. I enjoyed it tremendously. Thank you.
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
*curtsy*~Lotm
I loved this. Please give your plot bunny a nice, juicy carrot for its efforts.
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
Oh dear god, you're going to turn the rest of them rabid for carrot treats now... XD Good thing, 'cause I need to get back to work very soon!*hugs*~Lotm
thanks for a great laugh!!
I may have some research to do, as I was unaware of some pairings (or foursome) actually existing...
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
Oh, they're out there...*snerk*~Lotm(sorry I'm so late in responding; I've been buried under several piles of fluffy, voracious original plot-bunnies, lately...)
Response from snitchette (Reviewer)
No need to apologize. I know and appreciate immensely the work you do for us all in the fandom.
This was absolutely priceless - awesome in fact! 'How could I have died? I'm a f***ing Potions Master! I love it; well done! :-)
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
*curtsy*~Lotm
Great, wonderful, awesome!!! I loved it!!
You know; being notified that you have submitted a new fic alwyas makes me happy, and reading this fic just confirms why I smile just by the thougth of reading another story written by you. This is another brilliant Hermione/Severus fic, and it confirms that while there are several brilliant fic authors out there, noone can write them as well as you do:-)
Response from ladyofthemasque (Author of I Can't Believe They Write These Things)
Oh, piffle. Good_Witch is writing a smashingly good, strong story, Phantom of Hogwarts *pimppimppimp*, AND she'll have it finished "soon"... (You can even see her writing skills improve in the course of the story; this woman has talent!)(...Besides, if she doesn't work on it some more, she knows that I know where she lives, muahahahah...)~Lotm
Response from Sampdoria (Reviewer)
Oh, I totally agree "Phantom of Hogwarts" will absolutely be among those fics I define as classic "must read" HG/SS stories and Good_Witch have most certainly placed herself among those I call brilliant writers, and I think I have told her so a time or two:-))