You're Really Swell, I Have To Admit

Disclaimer: Not Jo, just captivated by her brilliance!

Thanks as always to the brilliant kizzy7 for making this presentable for me. Love to you, darling!!

Chapter 4

You're Really Swell, I Have to Admit

~~Hermione~~

I'd been upset by Ron's appearance at the wedding and subsequent drama. However, in the big picture of the day, it barely registered. I never expected Ron to be supportive. I was only glad that the rest of the Weasleys saw how foolish he was and supported my marriage.

In no time at all, Severus was Apparating us away to our honeymoon destination. He was annoyingly secretive, going so far as to recruit Ginny to pack my luggage for me so I would have no clues as to our destination.

I still have to smile at the memory of him walking toward me, carrying a small strip of black cloth as we prepared to leave.

"Hermione, I'm just going to place this over your eyes so I can surprise you with our arrival." He smiled devilishly, kissed me softly, and tied the silky cloth around my head, causing the world to go dark.

I felt the nauseating pull as he Apparated us away from the forest just outside the gates of Hogwarts. My first sensation after the squeezing darkness was of salt and sand beneath my feet. A beach.

His arms tightened around me as he picked me up to carry me indoors. A few clicks and grinding sounds later, and he placed my feet delicately on the floor. I heard the sounds of his boots moving around the room as well as the sliding, rippling swish of fabric as he removed his robes. When he walked again, his footsteps now carried the soft slap of bare feet on a hard surface. I stood like a statue, waiting for his instruction.

We had made love many times previous, and I'd seen his naked body thousands of times, but something was different about this. Perhaps because of the stress of the day; perhaps because this would be our first time as a married couple, but whatever the reason, I was as nervous as a virgin on a pirate ship.

There was also the fact that other than hearing the faint sounds of his movements, I had no awareness of my surroundings. We'd never been the type for simple, vanilla sex, but this was farther along the 'kink path' than we'd gone.

I stood there breathing heavily for what could have been hours. My nerves were strung like piano strings, and my pulse was rising. Every so often, I would get a feeling that he was approaching me, and each time my nipples would become erect and gooseflesh would cover my skin. I was trembling with anticipation.

When finally he spoke, my mouth went dry and my knickers were flooded. "You are doing remarkably well, love. Then again, you were always at your best during a test circumstance." He laughed softly.

"You are enjoying the tension, are you not?"

"Yes."

"Would you like to remove your blindfold now?"

"No."

He laughed softly once more. "Then please, undress."

My shaking fingers pulled out my wand to tap the hundreds of buttons that held the back of my gown closed. The dress parted, and I removed it carefully. Without touching my fingers, Severus took it from me.

Due to the shape of the back of my dress, I hadn't worn a bra. I bent to remove the slippers from my feet, one at a time. Something changed in the air as I stood before him clad in only a miniscule pair of very wet, white lace knickers.

I suddenly felt a brazen sense of confidence come over me. "You like what you see, don't you, Severus?"

"Yes," he sputtered in a choked voice that sounded as though he'd been screaming for hours.

"Are you stroking yourself?"

"Yes."

"And have you..." My words were cut off as his mouth descended on mine. Up until that moment, I'd thought our very first kiss would be the best kiss ever. This one took the prize by a wide margin.

My mouth opened to his, and I felt a tingle as his tongue brushed against mine. One of his hands toyed with my nipple, and the other pulled the silk binding from my eyes.

His face was harsh and intense as he pulled back to gaze into my eyes. "I hope you weren't frightened, my love. I only wanted to surprise you, but then you looked so aroused standing there, I couldn't help myself."

I took a deep breath to try and keep my voice steady. "I enjoyed it, Severus. I hope it was a good lesson for you on how much your very presence affects me." I ran my fingertips over the skin of his chest and over his abs.

He gasped slightly as my fingers caressed his erection. He moaned as I began to stroke him softly. His eyes were drifting closed as though he were lost in the pleasure of my touch.

I felt his fingers crawling slowly over and then under my knickers. As he ran his fingertips up and down my slick folds, I thought I would lose my mind.

"Oh, yes, Severus, yes. Please!" I began to stroke him faster and moved my other hand down to gently roll his balls in my palm.

He plunged two fingers into my heat and groaned loudly. He began to pump them in and out. I needed more.

"Bedroom!" I growled. He swept me into his arms and rushed us over to the bed. When we fell into a tangle of jumbled limbs, he somehow removed my knickers and flung them over his shoulder. I was vaguely aware that they'd landed on a miniature of Cliodhna that decorated the mantle.

I scrambled over his body, kissing as I went. Finally, I reached my goal. I took him in my mouth slowly at first, teasing him.

"Gods, yes, Hermione!" His hands fisted in my hair, encouraging me to increase the speed and depth. The taste and feel of smooth skin over rock hard muscle was almost more than I could take. The moisture was now flooding out of me, coating my thighs and dripping onto the bedclothes.

I felt his hands pull at my hip and paused to peer groggily at him. "I want some of this," he whispered. I dimly realised he was trying to pull my hips around so he could use his mouth on me.

I moved my body over his and shuddered in anticipation.

Severus' oral skills defy description. There simply are no words for how amazing he makes me feel. I can't even say specifically what he does, but I like it. After only a few minutes of flicking, stroking, and probing, I was coming into his mouth.

I redoubled my efforts, wanting to make him feel the same intense, nearly painful pleasure he had given me. I moved my hips away from his head so I could focus on him.

Breathing carefully through my nose, I took him deeper into my mouth. As his tip hit the back of my throat, he groaned loudly. His arousal had increased after my orgasm; it wouldn't take him long like this.

I continued moving and listened as he vocalized his pleasure.

"Mmmm... Yes. Yes. YES! Just like that." He groaned and thrashed as my tongue moved over his head before I moved to swallow around his length once more.

"You know what I need, love. Oh, gods. You are so goo... ooo... duh."

These pleasure induced bouts of verbal diarrhea never failed to drive me mad with ecstacy. I was so focused on his words and the feeling of his cock in my mouth that I was completely caught off guard when he broke free and pushed me away.

"What..."

His eyes flashed for a moment before his face softened, and he pulled me into his arms. "No, love. This is wonderful and completely pleasurable. You know I am always overwhelmed when you pleasure me, but..."

Severus paused and looked thoughtful. "This just isn't what I had in mind for tonight."

~~Severus~~

She looked scared and hurt when I told her it wasn't what I'd wanted for our wedding night. The last thing I intended was for her to feel guilty or sad, but honestly, the evening had taken a major left turn from the vision I'd had since I'd grovelled to bloody Potter.

Right, once the hysterical laughter ends, I'll admit that I'd been hopelessly romantic about the entire wedding night. Candles, flowers, romantic music...every cliché known to Wizard-kind.

I'd pissed and moaned my entire life about men who allowed some bird to come along and trade their balls for a leash. I was ready to make the exchange myself. One last thing so that it's clear that I've gone 'round the twist. In exchange for her heart, there was no price too high.

The rest of the night was slow and intimate. It was a sweet and tender expression of how very much I loved her.

By my way of thinking, we had the rest of our lives to be dirty and have a bit of kink. So we spent the next two days exploring our thresholds of perversion. I've turned romantic; I haven't died.

The night before we were meant to leave, she woke in the middle of the night, screaming and crying. I tried to wake her gently and took a fist to the nose for my trouble.

My wife awoke to the sight of me, looking like the victim of an animal attack. Then she started screaming again.

It took time, ice, soothing words, and a shot of Ogden's for the pandemonium to die out. At long last, we were seated in bed, and she told me the story of her nightmare.

"I've been having these dreams for months. There are several variations, but all on the same theme. Sometimes you die, killed by that wretched snake of Voldemort's, but usually you just leave me. No warning, no letter. Just g-gone."

She slipped into sobbing again at once. I was left feeling as though there was a sinkhole in the middle of my chest. My fears were the same...that either by choice or providence, she would wind up hurting and alone because of me.

I would pledge my soul to any and every deity if I thought it would make me enough for her, worthy of her.

A wise man once said that love wouldn't even get you halfway in a relationship. I can only assume he meant the love of someone who really knew how. My pathetic attempts to be what she deserved would likely not last us the month.

~~Hermione~~

I suppose everyone thinks that their honeymoon is lovely, but mine really was. Though I'd known him, worked with him, and lived with him, I saw a side of Severus I hadn't dreamed existed.

He was always a bit withdrawn, only now he would explain the reasons behind his woolgathering. It was such a thrill to me to be able to share thoughts with him. The depth of the man I had married seemed to grow exponentially.

Severus spent an entire afternoon telling me some of his happiest childhood memories. I respected the values he'd acquired from growing up in a less than privileged home with only the merest hint of parental guidance.

I was slightly bothered by the fact that we'd never actually discussed having a family of our own. I could never work up the courage to start the discussion. I hoped that, like Harry, Severus would want to have a family of his own to make up for the lack of one during his youth.

I wasn't ready to get pregnant right away, not at all. I wanted to focus on my marriage and continue to establish my career before I had to worry about another huge responsibility placed on my shoulders.

Ginny and Harry were ready to have children until, in their words, "their family felt complete," whatever in the hell that meant. I had no intention of a becoming a baby factory. In my opinion one, possibly two children was the perfect number.

I knew I had to talk to Severus. I'm by no means the world's most maternal person, but I did feel strongly about having at least one child.

My tension mounted as the days passed. I was pulling away from him once again. I found myself wondering what had happened to the brave witch that had faced off with Death Eaters over and over?

I'll tell you, she was cowering in fear that this issue was the one thing that would be a 'deal breaker' for my husband. I couldn't avoid the feeling that I was weak, but independent as I've always been, I could no longer picture my life without him.

What if we couldn't get passed this?

Perhaps I could do without a child? But the thought kept coming to me that with no family (apart from Harry and Ginny) and a husband twenty years my senior, I would very likely find myself alone in later life. Wizards' life spans were significantly greater than those of Muggles, but that didn't change the fact that once Severus was gone, I would be alone.

The loss of my parents had drastically changed my views on family. I wanted to find out what our child would look like. I wanted to find out what it was like to watch him hold our child.

I'd already begun to dream of watching my middle grow to accommodate the life within. The question was, did I want it badly enough to chance my future with Severus?

~~Severus~~

She brought up the subject of children. Goddammit! I thought that it wouldn't be something I'd have to worry with. I'd spent my life watching after the half-witted offspring of the Wizard world.

Right, to be fair, there had been the occasional bright spot. My bride herself was quite an engaging young lady. But most had been complete and utter wastes of space and matter.

I got the distinct impression that my wife had only been thinking of the sweet-smelling hair and the softly little coos. She wasn't counting on vomit and tantrums and high-pitched wailing at all hours of the day and night.

No, others were meant for wiping snot and excrement.

But if Hermione really wants one, perhaps it's not such a terrible idea. Perhaps with two superior intellects raising it, a child might turn out to be less than revolting.

Where the hell did that come from? Why was I suddenly willing to look at an issue from any point of view other than my own?

Because you, you sodding git, are in love with her. And she's the most important thing in the world. If she asked you to, you'd cut off your own willy!!

Son of a bitch. This puts a wrinkle in my life-plan!