Snarks

Member Since 2006  |  0 Stories  |  Favorited by 0  |  1 Review Written  |  0 Review Responses

SIGNS YOU HAVE TOO MUCH SNAPE IN YOUR LIFE

You call your bedroom 'My Private Chambers'

You make a sign for your bedroom door saying, "Slytherin Girls' Dorm, Purebloods Only, Knock First Unless You are Professor Snape, Who Is Welcome Anytime

Your list of necessities in a future husband include 'hooked nose' and 'black hair'

You wake up early, read about Snape, eat breakfast rather reluctantly, go back to reading about Snape until about three o'clock in the afternoon, get off the internet, take a bath, eat lunch, go back to reading about Snape until about eight, eat dinner, go back to reading about Snape, go to bed at two in the morning at the earliest, reluctantly, wake up...

You try to adjust your robes like he did in the class while repeating the lines about "ensnare the senses", and realize you aren't wearing robes... and you are in line at the bank... and they are eyeing you suspiciously.

You walk around the house wearing long black billowing robes going "swiisshh" everytime you move them around dramatically.

Everytime you see Snape onscreen you squeal in delight, flailing your arms.

You think Harry could be removed from the Harry Potter books and the stories wouldn't lose anything.

Being called a Gryffindor or a Hufflepuff is the worst possible insult anyone could ever give you

You violently curse the official Harry Potter website when the sorting hat dares sort you into a house other than Slytherin

To get you in the mood now, you make your husband or boyfriend say: (in his most silkiest voice possible) "Miss [enter last name here], meet me in my private chambers now or I'll deduct 50 points from [enter house of your choice here], and you'll have detention for a week!" Oh and he has to sneer

..and I still THINK THERE IS NEVER TOO MUCH SNAPE IN MY LIFE :D