Romancing the Cure

When the odd trio reached the front steps of the castle, they were met by a formidable obstacle. Madame Pomfrey, always protective as a mother bear in regards to her charges, was adamant about returning Hermione to the hospital wing. Hermione, a formidable witch in her own right, was having none of it.

"Madame Pomfrey," Hermione argued, "there is absolutely no reason that you cannot continue my treatment in Severus' rooms. I will promise to rest and do anything you ask, but that is where we are going and that is where I will remain. I will not have Severus left alone for one minute."

"Child," Poppy began in an exasperated tone, "I understand that you don't wish to leave him alone, I even understand why. Why can't he join you in the hospital wing as he did before?"

"That's just not good enough," Hermione replied calmly. "He needs his rooms. He needs the familiarity of his own rooms and all his things around him. It's going to be hard enough to keep Severus with us while we figure out a solution to this mess. I refuse to take any more chances with him."

Seeing the stubborn young witch refused to be swayed, Poppy at last consented and settled for a renewed promise that Hermione would rest. Hermione readily complied. She fully intended to begin researching Severus' problem immediately, but surely reading was restful enough.

Reaching the Potion Master's dungeon home at last, Albus scarcely had time to set Hermione's chair gently to the floor when Severus began making a huge ruckus. The moment they had entered his rooms, Severus had shaken his head wildly and dashed through the open door that led to his office. Following, Albus feared the man had lost his sense again. Severus was snorting loudly and attacking his potions cabinet with his front hooves.

"The wards!" Hermione shouted, suddenly remembering her last visit to that office.

"What?" Albus shouted over the racket of hooves pounding wood.

"I broke into his potions cabinet! I ignored all the alarm wards...they must still be going off and he can't speak to lower them!"

"Severus!" Albus bellowed, turning back to his irritated friend. "Out in the hall, if you please. Get away from the blasted thing until I can pull the wards down."

Sides trembling, and with a bitch of a headache, Severus gratefully retreated to the hall while Albus dealt with the problem. After a few minutes, Albus ushered him back in and held an opened phial of headache potion out to him.

"I don't know how well this will work on a unicorn," Albus said wryly, "but I expect you need it and I doubt it will hurt."

Severus gratefully took the neck of the phial between his teeth and, lifting his head, drank the potion down. He noted it didn't taste any better to his unicorn form than it did normally. Dropping the phial, he sputtered an equine raspberry and shook his head. At least the foul stuff appeared to be working--his headache disappeared.

"Now then," Albus said, sitting down in a chair next to Hermione's, "I understand that you intend to study Severus' problem, my dear. An excellent idea--what can I do to help you?"

"Well...I'll need some books..." Hermione began, then rolled her eyes at Severus as he broke into unicorn sniggering. "I'll make you a list, Headmaster. We'll need to make a few changes here, so that Severus will be comfortable...perhaps Professor Flitwick..."

"I'll send him down immediately, Hermione. Anything else?"

"Severus must not be left alone for any reason. Headmaster...er...have I been expelled?"

Chuckling for a moment, Albus answered the suddenly nervous young witch. "No, my dear, I never had any intention of expelling you."

"But you said..."

"I lied," Albus interrupted with another warm chuckle, his eyes twinkling madly.

"But if I haven't been expelled...why...I've missed over a week of classes!" Hermione looked every bit as upset as a patient who's been told they have only a month to live.

"My dear girl, worry not. While you were in hospital, I spoke to all of your teachers, including that sniggering one at your side, and all agree that you were so far ahead in your class work that you may consider your studies completed. As far as your exams go, I have spoken to the board about this situation...they have agreed to hold your exams later in the summer; after you have recovered and had time to deal with our present problem."

"Thank Nimue!" Hermione said with a relieved sigh. "I don't know how I'd have found time to prepare for exams and research Severus' trouble. I was thinking about asking you for the time turner..."

"That is not an option, Hermione," Albus said, eyes twinkling. "Poppy would have my head if I let you do anything of the sort! What else can I do for you?"

"I'd like to talk to Harry and Ron, Headmaster." Hermione gave Severus a wary look. "That is, Severus, if you will allow them in your rooms..." she trailed off with an uncertain expression.

Severus was about to shake his head in an emphatic 'no' when he stopped, considering. Damn and blast! As much as he couldn't stand the young men, they were Hermione's friends. She was already making huge sacrifices in order to help him. How could he possible deny her anything she asked of him? Remembering, rather uncomfortably, how the young men had walked with him out of the wood instead of taking Albus' portkey, Severus resigned himself to his fate. After one disdainful snort, he gave Hermione a brief, affirmative nod.

Hermione broke into a smile like the sun breaking through clouds. "Severus, come here," she demanded.

Drawing cautiously up to her, Severus didn't quite know what to expect. Hermione threw her arms around his neck to hug him tightly.

"Thank you, beloved," she whispered into his neck. "I know that wasn't easy for you."

Warmed by the sweet endearment, Severus nuzzled at her earlobe. He supposed he could endure any number of imbecilic students if it caused such reaction in his Hermione.

"Now then," Hermione said, drawing back to look at him, "may I make myself at home?"

Severus tossed his head in agreement, wishing he could tell her "You are at home, Goddess."

****************************************

An hour later, Professor Flitwick and Hermione were arguing about the bed. Filius had made Severus a pallet on the floor of the bedroom, much like the one he had put near Hermione's hospital bed.

"Professor, I'm sure that would be perfectly reasonable if Severus was a unicorn. Despite appearances to the contrary, Severus is a man and as such he is going to sleep in his bed!"

"Miss Granger, I understand what you are saying, but it just isn't practical. He'd have a horrible time even getting into that bed."

The bed in question had been a bit of a surprise to Hermione. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but she hadn't expected Severus to be a closet hedonist. It was a huge four poster; velvet black curtains at the sides were drawn back and held open with silver chains. The same velvet draped over the top in an inky canopy. Looking up at it, Hermione was enchanted to see that the underside of this canopy had been charmed to show a night sky full of stars. Silver satin sheets, a plethora of down pillows, and a quilt of an intricate geometrical pattern in black and grey completed the overpoweringly sensuous bed. Feeling herself blush, Hermione tried to ignore the fact that it looked less like a place to sleep and more like a delightful playground--all the more reason for her to get Severus back to himself as soon as possible.

"Professor Flitwick, perhaps you could simply take the legs off the bed, so it rests on the floor?"

"Very well, Miss Granger." With a few swishes and flicks, the pallet disappeared and the bed became a much lower version of itself.

Having been rather flustered by the hungry manner in which Hermione kept eyeing his bed, Severus had withdrawn to the master bath to see what Filius had been up to in that room. He was not pleased by what he found there. The room had been expanded and next to his sinfully huge bathtub there was now an object that looked distressingly like a ridiculously large litter box. No. Absolutely not. There was no way in hell he was ever going to use that disgusting contraption. Not being able to speak his refusal, he took the edge of the box firmly in his teeth and pulled ferociously at it until he had dumped the thing over. He then proceeded to kick it in disgust.

Hearing the uproar in the bath, Filius and Hermione appeared at the door. Hermione took one look at the dumped box and got that pinched look on her face.

She had better not laugh, the vixen, or I shall not be responsible for my actions! Ignoring Hermione, Severus lowered his horn until it pointed at the diminutive charms Professor's chest and growled. An odd argument ensued.

"Now Severus...it wasn't that bad..."

"Snort."

"It was completely self cleaning..."

A growl, accompanied by stomping of hooves.

"I'm not sure what you expect me to do about it."

An equine raspberry.

"Miss Granger is supposed to rest, she simply cannot be walking you out to the woods at all hours like a dog..." Filius trailed off in sudden thought. "Out...get out! I have work to do!" A swish of wand and the dreadful box was gone. Filius drove Severus out of the bath and slammed the door.

"It wasn't that bad, Severus," Hermione said.

He glared at her. She giggled.

Half an hour later, Filius at last opened the door and ushered Severus in. Severus found that his bathroom was back to its original proportions. The only difference in the room was a new archway in one wall that was hung with a beaded curtain.

"Well, go on then," Filius demanded with obvious pride in his accomplishment.

Severus pushed through the curtain and stopped dead in amazement. He was standing in the forest! Looking behind him, he saw the archway he had passed through standing between two trees. Hmmmm...if he must be a unicorn, at least this was more dignified than some overgrown sandbox. It would do.

****************************************

Over the next few days, while Hermione rested and researched, Severus found himself constantly amazed by the young witch. Despite his form, she resolutely treated him as a man and demanded others do the same. Touching him often, she never petted him like an animal. She would hug him, kiss him lightly on the nose, or simply rest a hand on his shoulder. At night, she would curl up to him snuggly and throw an arm over his back, her pale fingers clutched in his midnight fur. When the house elves had brought his first meal to him in a trough, she had patiently explained to them that Severus would be taking his meals at table. So he ate at table with Hermione, standing while she sat next to him, eating whatever the house elves brought him off Hogwart's china. She allowed him his dignity--for that he would be forever grateful.

Harry and Ron visited every day. At first, they'd been obviously uncomfortable, but they soon took Hermione's lead in how to act around him. They treated him with the same respect as they would any teacher, patiently including him in their conversations by asking his opinion of things in a way that permitted his use of limited yes and no responses. Severus found himself both begrudgingly grateful for this and utterly fatigued by the whole contemptible situation. He was trying to keep his hopes up, but after several days and no apparent progress in Hermione's research, he was slipping into depression.

Hermione noted the change in him. She was deeply troubled by his growing apathy. If they couldn't keep his brilliant human mind engaged, they might lose him forever. She would simply have to take some time from her research to do more with him. Hmm...perhaps the boys could help more.

Ron and Harry were currently engaged in a wizard's chess game, while Severus stood reading a potions book held at head level by a reading stand. A clever charm by Filius allowed Severus to turn the pages by tapping them with his horn. While Severus was thus distracted, Hermione approached her two friends to engage them in a quiet discussion.

"Ron," she asked, "do the chess pieces only respond to verbal commands?"

"Yes, and they get rather grumpy if you mumble. Why do you ask, Hermione?"

"I suppose I was hoping you could play a game with Severus. You've both been great, mind you, but he needs something more interesting to do to keep him occupied," Hermione replied with a sigh.

Ron's eyes got a calculating gleam. "Hmmm...I always heard he was a wicked chess player. I never thought he'd consent to play a 'dunderheaded Gryffindor' so I never asked him. It would be an interesting match to say the least."

"That is the biggest understatement I've ever heard," Harry said with a grin. "Are you sure you want to risk your perfect win record playing Snape?"

"Who says I'd be risking it?" Ron replied with an exaggerated look of confidence. "I bet I could beat that git with my eyes blindfolded!"

"Ron, watch your mouth!" Hermione hissed. "It's a moot point anyway, since he can't play."

"Hermione, wasn't it Professor McGonagall who transfigured the chess set guarding the sorcerer's stone?" asked Harry. "Maybe she could figure out a way."

Excited, the two young men raced off, current game forgotten, to talk to Professor McGonagall.

***********************************

They were up to something. Severus eyed the trio warily. All three of them stood around the chess table, looking at him with ludicrous grins on their faces. What horrible scheme had they cooked up to bother him now?

"Professor Snape," Ron asked with a gleam of challenge in his eye, "would you care for a game of chess?"

Severus snorted and raised an eyebrow. Hermione hadn't realized a unicorn had eyebrows, but the look was unmistakably familiar.

"Come here Severus," Hermione called. "Professor McGonagall has charmed your pieces so that they will respond to this." She held out Severus' wand. "If you hold it in your mouth, all you have to do is tap the piece you wish to move and the square it is to move to."

Intrigued in spite of himself, Severus stepped up to the board, took his wand gently from Hermione and--with a wicked glance at Ron...made his first move. After watching for a moment, Harry and Hermione retreated to sit at the dining table, where Harry studied while Hermione went back to her research. The game across the room progressed slowly with occasional muttered curses from Ron and various snorts and snickers from his unicorn opponent.

A fruitless half hour of reading later, Hermione slammed her book shut in exasperation.

"Haven't you any leads yet, Hermione?" Harry asked quietly.

"None. Not one single idea. The Professors all pat me on the head and tell me I'm a bloody genius but what blasted good does it do me if I can't..." with a glance at the chess game in the corner, Hermione trailed off, tears forming in her eyes.

Grasping his distraught friend's hand tightly, Harry said softly, "Don't give up, Hermione. If anyone can figure this out, it's you. Give it some more time."

"We may not have much more time, Harry," she replied with a sigh. "He's been stuck in that form for a week now. Even with all we are doing to keep his mind with us, he's bound to slip away eventually."

"Hermione...he obviously can use his wand," Harry said with a glance at the chess playing unicorn, "why can't he just hold it to change?"

"It doesn't work that way Harry. When an Animagus changes, his wand becomes an intrinsic part of the animal's physical make up. Believe me, I've thought of every crazy idea imaginable. I'd shove it up his arse if I thought it would do any good," Hermione replied in exasperation.

Deciding to try to lighten the mood, Harry said the first preposterous thing that entered his head. "Intrinsic part of his make-up, eh? Perhaps he should just eat it then."

Instead of laughing, Hermione fixed him with a look that was both incredulous and calculating. "Remind me to kiss your whole face later, Harry. Right now I've got to go to the library," Hermione said, dashing from the room.

"No way," muttered Harry to her retreating back. "No bloody way it's that easy. I was only joking!"

Ron's shout suddenly echoed around the room. "A draw! A fucking draw! Unbelievable! I demand a rematch!"

Severus sniggered.