Clearwater 2
Chapter 10 of 19
Fairfield"Girls tell their teddy bears everything."
ReviewedChapter 10: 3 August 9:00 AM -- 9 August 5:00 PM Clearwater 2
It was Saturday, and nine in the morning. This Saturday and Sunday Patricia was visiting her parents. I was just getting up when I got the message.
Dear Hermann,
Can I visit you today? I will knock on your door at half past nine.
Yours truly, Penelope Clearwater
She left me enough time to shave, shower, and dress. I greeted Miss Clearwater when she arrived and offered her a chair and a cup of tea.
"I shouldn't have bothered you on such short notice, but I thought you might like some company on a Saturday. It does look like a nice day today. Did you have something planned? I hope I'm not interfering with anything, but if you're going somewhere I could help you locate the place. Or if you'd rather be alone, I have things I can do. Have you had breakfast yet? I haven't. I was going to have breakfast with Percy, but that didn't work out. Does this hotel serve breakfast? I suppose it does. It looks like a hotel that would do everything for you. Or do you have some favorite place for breakfast? Maybe you like to eat alone, and I could return later. I don't want to be a bother, but mother said you were very understanding about everything. I was going to spend the day with Percy, but he decided he had to go to the office today. He has so much work to do. He has a really responsible job, and everyone's counting on him. That leaves me free for today. I was going to have breakfast with him, but I was put out when he announced he was going to the Ministry today. He would want to look at the Museums again because they're educational. I wouldn't mind doing something else. Is there anything you would like to see? I should be more understanding about Percy, but we haven't done anything together in a long time. I accused him once of seeing another girl. Have you seen much of London yet? There's an awful lot to see. I hope you don't mind my coming by to see you."
"It was kind of you to think of me, Miss Clearwater," I managed to squeak out.
The positive response stopped her monologue. She became the poised individual one would expect of a Hogwarts ex-prefect.
"Do you have a suggestion for breakfast?" I asked. "I would like to see some new places in London."
Yes, she had suggestions about where to go and what to see ... lots. I tagged along, amused at being a Percy substitute. I was amused enough that I complimented Miss Clearwater on her choices, amused enough that I wracked my brain for good questions that she could answer.
Perhaps I was too good a Percy substitute. By early afternoon, Miss Clearwater was saying, "Oh, Hermann, come look at this," and then taking my hand to pull me someplace. By late afternoon, Miss Clearwater was saying, "Come see this, Hermann," taking my hand, and then holding my hand as she showed me her latest find. By late afternoon, Miss Clearwater was saying I should call her 'Penelope.'
This could get frustrating, if I didn't keep my sense of humor. I was Penelope's teddy bear, something to hold until her Percy arrived. If I made the mistake of taking this seriously, it would be a painful experience.
"If I were with Percy, my family would be expecting me to be home soon," Penelope was saying. "I just sent them a message that Percy had to work, and I was spending the day by myself. I told them I would be home later."
Penelope must be thinking that the Percy substitute was more of a swinger than Percy.
"Do you like dining casually? I hope you're not bored," said Penelope.
"Do you know a spaghetti house?" I replied, thinking that Penelope must be desperately lonely to act in such a manner.
"Oh, that sounds great," said Penelope.
Penelope had spent the day being an excellent tour guide. Relaxing over dinner, she talked about herself. After Penelope left Hogwarts, she had initially worked in the Ministry with her father. She didn't say it explicitly, but I got the impression that Mr. Clearwater was a super file keeper with nearly perfect memory and no imagination, an indispensable cog. Penelope, after mastering the job, found it too boring to stay. Penelope was now keeping the books for several shops on Diagon Alley and in Hogsmeade.
"I suppose you think that's a boring life," she asked me.
"No," I replied. "You're an independent business person, responsible for the well-being of several shops."
"Are you doing anything tomorrow?" asked Penelope as the salads arrived.
"I hadn't thought about it," I replied.
Penelope looked disappointed. Did I just miss something?
She complained about the problem of gaining the trust of the shop owners. They were all afraid she would reveal their transactions and their secrets. I told her that there were professionals who did similar work. There were contracts and codes of conduct. It was a respected profession, and my family could provide her with some information. We could write them tomorrow. My mother was the one to ask.
"Your mother does this type of work?"
"Yes."
That made me a trusted person, too trusted for my comfort. I heard about her fights with Percy and her father over not working for the Ministry, over how she was wasting her talent and throwing away her life. Girls tell their teddy bears everything.
The spaghetti restaurant was in a trendy part of town. There was a cinema nearby that showed classic flicks. The feature was 'Dracula,' starring Bela Lugosi ... irresistible. Penelope insisted on sitting in the back row of the theatre, which surprised me since I thought she was nearsighted.
During the scene with the coach ride to the castle, Penelope grabbed my hand when the bats appeared. That was understandable. I didn't understand, though, why she kept a grip with one of her hands even after the scary scene. Or why she intertwined our fingers, especially when she did it in such a relaxed manner. Even so, I had to admit that she had nice, elegant fingers, and it gave the comfortable feeling of a couple sharing a night out. She crossed her legs and placed my hand in her lap where I could feel her softness and her warmth.
"That's unfair, girl!" silently screamed her teddy bear, as her teddy bear got an aching erection.
She clutched my arm and buried her face when Dracula's mistresses appeared. They don't have anything on you, Penelope, I grumbled to myself as she pressed my hand into the three way junction of lap and thighs. As an experiment, I leaned my head over, touched and caressed her head with mine, and then returned my head to its upright position. Retaliation was immediate. She shifted in her seat, laid her head on my shoulder, and managed to press her breast against me.
That was too much. Notify the Geneva Convention. Exchange students are not to be subjected to such agony. My erection was pressing against my trousers hard enough that I would never get the zipper marks out.
She hid her face and pressed against me as the world's horniest bat arrived to sink its fangs into a fair damsel. That scene has to be symbolic. I'm not projecting anything onto the screen, am I? That's only a prelude to the torments Miss Clearwater deserves, my frustration said, as I fought down the impulse to sink a few fangs into Penelope Van Helsing. My frustration went out of control. I hope you're damp. I hope you're soaking wet, you witch. I hope you run home and jump under the covers to find release. No, worse than that. I hope you run home, jump under the covers, but the bat doesn't come for you. You spend your life among staid men afraid of what you'll become if you taste the delights of fangs and surrender, among staid men who cannot distinguish between becoming a complete person and becoming a creature of the night. To prevent that, they will wave the cross of rules and propriety at you. To prevent that, they will drive a stake through your heart, killing the love and affection that makes it all enjoyable.
So there, Penelope Clearwater.
My more reasonable voice was telling me that my predicament was my fault. I had agreed to be a Percy substitute rather than spend the day alone. I had spent the day stroking Penelope's psyche. It was easier than I thought it would be, and it was more fun than I thought it would be. I had suggested the horror flick with its sexual themes. My real problem was Percy envy.
There was one more plaintive wail. She was twenty ... only four years older than me. What was I going to do? Rob the cradle?
I moved my hand from the hothouse of Penelope's lap to around her shoulders, which didn't help. It was more chaste, but more possessive. I liked her shoulders and the feel of her hair. The end result was my admiring more of Penelope. In some ways, I was a really good Percy substitute.
We parted for the evening with Penelope saying she would appear at ten the next morning. That would give us all day to write the letter to my mother.
* * *
It was Sunday morning and nearly noon. I had expected Penelope at ten and was beginning to worry. I had mentally gone through several versions of the letter to my family. I hoped they would want to help. I thought they would be eager to help. I wondered if they minded helping. Perhaps with Penelope, I would find the right way to write the letter.
There was a knocking on the door, and I looked out to see Harold Clearwater and some other bloke. I guessed the other bloke to be Percy Weasley, and I was not wrong. What were they doing here? Was it about Patricia or Penelope or both? It didn't look good. I opened the door, and they burst in.
"What time did you meet Penelope yesterday?" asked Harold Clearwater.
"I didn't look at my watch," I said. "Why are you asking?"
"First she said she was going to be alone," said Harold Clearwater, "and then she said she met you."
I waited. I wasn't going to volunteer any information.
"What did you do with Penny?" said Percy Weasley.
"I'm a visitor," I said, still determined not to say much. "We talked about London and what to see."
"She said she was alone," said Harold Clearwater. "I want to know when you met her and what you did."
"I'm not on a tight timetable right now," I said. "What did Miss Clearwater say?"
"She says she met you, you talked a while, and then you wanted to take her to a restaurant and a cinema," said Percy Weasley.
That's not the way I remembered it, but now I had some idea what Penelope had told her father and boyfriend.
"Okay," I said. "Is there something wrong? Has something happened?"
"Now she wants to be an independent bookkeeper and leave her job at the Ministry," said Harold Clearwater.
"She had a promising career at the Ministry," complained Percy Weasley.
I now realized that I was being blamed for Penelope's career decisions. Penelope had already left the Ministry, but they were blaming me for that, too. I was dealing with reasonable people. That was nice. At least I knew what was bothering them. If I were Mr. Weasley, I would have other worries.
"We talked about a number of things," I said, "but not much about the job at the Ministry. Tell me about the job at the Ministry."
To my relief, that worked. Mr. Clearwater and Mr. Weasley were willing to believe that I had talked Penelope out of her job at the Ministry because of my ignorance about the Ministry. They set about convincing me that the English Ministry of Magic was the best place to work, especially for a talented and hardworking girl like Miss Clearwater. I listened patiently. At least I pretended to listen patiently. Mr. Clearwater and Mr. Weasley finally left, convinced that I now realized that my talking Miss Clearwater out of her job at the Ministry was done out of ignorance.
I would have to write the letter to my mother alone, but first I would have to recover from listening to Mr. Clearwater and Mr. Weasley. Mein Gott, no wonder Penelope had left the Ministry.
* * *
Everything was quiet for a few days as Mr. Clearwater and Mr. Weasley stormed around. Tuesday, Patricia Clearwater came to see me. Trust the older ladies for superior maneuvering. The last few days, however, had taken their toll on Patricia.
Patricia was complaining that I hadn't been taking her anywhere, that I was ashamed of her. Did I think she was an old hag, that she was ugly? Didn't I want to be seen with her?
A rational part of my mind wanted to remind her that she was a married woman, and we had to be careful. An even more rational part of my mind told me that this was not the time for rationality.
Patricia had flung herself across the bed in her despair at being unwanted. I approached cautiously.
"I'm sorry I haven't been taking you places," I said, starting to massage her shoulders.
"You do know that wherever we go, everyone is jealous of me," I told her. I said that in all sincerity.
She moaned contentedly as I worked my hands down her back.
"Let me think of something," I said, continuing the massage. By now, she was stretched out on her stomach on the bed. She was wearing only her knickers, and I was between her legs rubbing her back.
I waited until she was relaxed, forgiving, and looking sensuous before saying, "I know. I know what to do. I'll treat you like a little wifey."
That sounds dull, thought Patricia, making the softest of moans when Hermann placed his hands above her knees with his thumbs on her inner thighs and lightly moved his hands up her legs.
"Everyone will know that you're with me, that we're a couple. A husband isn't going to walk around frustrated. He knows enough to seduce his beautiful wife and have her before going anywhere."
That's smug, thought Patricia, spreading her legs wider as Hermann ran his hands up her thighs again.
"You're so sweet," I said, kissing her and moving her knickers aside.
That's forward, she thought, arching her back to permit easier entry.
"You're such a darling," I said, entering her.
What makes him think I'm ready? she thought, gasping as he entered her slick wetness and mounted her round softness with one effortless push.
"Oh, Patricia, you're wonderful, honey, " I said.
This is too routine, thought Patricia, moaning as he made the routine and rhythmic moves of a hubby having his wife.
You can't just calmly take a woman, thought Patricia, rotating her hips in rhythm with his wonderful, insistent demands.
What makes him think this is going to affect me? thought Patricia, filling the room with the wet sounds of a mounted wifey.
No one's going to respond to restrained sex, thought Patricia, writhing as the restrained strokes teased her.
There nothing exciting about domestic stuff, thought Patricia, giving hubby the pleasures of the uncontrolled thrashing of a devoted wifey.
No one's going to go wild over this, thought Patricia, clutching the bed covers and sobbing with the intensity of her mating with her adoring hubby.
Whatever happened to passion? thought Patricia, feeling wonderful as the last waves crashed through her and she lay on the quilt, breathing hard and enjoying her peace and stillness.
That arrogant bastard, thought Patricia, hoping hubby would treat her to another round of smugly possessive sex.
I held and kissed my flushed and sweaty wifey as she enjoyed the afterglow of mating. I held her and told her that she was sexy, that she was a darling, and that there was no one else like her.
When I pulled out of her, she was disappointed. "Aren't you coming? Don't you want me?" she asked.
I told her that mature women were much sexier than men, and I had to save something for after I had taken her out.
"After you've taken me out?" she queried.
"Yes, that's the plan. You're glowing now because you've just had sex with your loving partner, and when we're out you're going to glow and act like a woman who knows she's going to be seduced when we get back. Everyone will know you're with me, and everyone can see I'm very happy you're with me."
Patricia looked interested.
"You were worried that I didn't want to be seen with you," I said. "Let's cure your worries."
I made a production out of it. I took Patricia into the shower with me, and I covered her with soap. Of course, I had a reaction to that, and Patricia kidded me about virility.
I dug out the black silk lingerie for Patricia that I had bought and then hidden in a paper sack under a pile of shirts. I had checked the size of the clothes she wore last week while she wasn't in them. I told her that I hadn't found time yet to gift wrap her new lingerie.
"That's exactly like a husband," she informed me.
Glad that I was playing the role so well, I choose a standard uniform of my blue blazer, light blue shirt, grey trousers, and tie. We took the mundane route of the lift and then walked through the hotel lobby. Once we were outside I informed Patricia that every eye had followed her through the lobby and had identified her as my mistress. I assured her that I was not kidding.
First, some tea. I suggested that she help me buy a tie, and then I would buy her some lingerie. I told Patricia that I had memorized the brand and size of the black silk lingerie she was now wearing. Would she like white or Ravenclaw blue or bronze? I also suggested that when we returned to my rooms we have sex like an old couple, lying side by side facing each other.
"You mean ho-hum sex?" she asked.
"Yes," I whispered in her ear. "Like I've already fucked you thousands of times, like I'm going to fuck you thousands of more times, and this is one more time I'm having you."
The vision of all that routine passion had its effect on Patricia. The rest of the day she crossed her legs, held my hand, rested her hand on me, and pointed her knees at me like a devoted wifey.
As I was selecting a tie, the clerk approached, looked at Patricia, said, "Are you helping your s...?" looked at Patricia and me again, gave me a solemn nod, and returned to the counter.
I choose a dark blue, rough-textured tie with a pattern of repeated small, bronze thistles. It was severe, but classic. The clerk looked at Patricia and commented on my good taste.
In the lingerie shop, I explained to the sales girl what I wanted while Patricia stood regally by my side.
"Could we see them in white, off-white, blue, and bronze?" I asked.
Patricia held the individual garments to her face to check compatibility with skin color.
"This one?" asked the sales girl.
"Yes," I said placing my hand on Patricia and giving her a small squeeze. "This is what I want."
Patricia radiated mature sexuality.
By the time I paid for the selection, the sales girl was entranced. Obviously I was buying lingerie for my lady. Obviously my lovely lady had a lovely time while I was getting every lovely thing in her lovely lingerie.
Time, once again, for tea and biscuits. Patricia wanted the private table in the corner where we could hold hands. Later, I was the model of propriety as we walked through the hotel lobby and entered the lift. Patricia snogged me all the way to our floor. By the time I had the door locked, Patricia was down to black silk and was hauling me into the bedroom. This was almost too successful. I hadn't yet removed my blazer, and Patricia was guiding me to her silk covered breasts.
Wait. This isn't too successful. Nothing bad can happen. I'll get everything I want, the way I want it. Do it like a hubby, I reminded myself. Calmly take her.
I forgot about my blazer as I made contact with the silk. Yes, there are lovely things in Patricia's lingerie. I was a grateful cat licking a shapely bowl of cream. I licked her neck while I gently pawed both breasts and felt her respond as the silk moved across her nipples.
Every part of Patricia was lovely and alive. I casually kissed and caressed whatever was handy as Patricia frantically worked at getting my blazer, tie, and shirt off. Before Patricia got to my trousers she was on her back and incoherent as I fondled and licked her breasts.
I remembered the shopkeepers, the people in the tea shop, and the guests in the hotel lobby. They had seen Patricia and me together, and they had expectations. They could tell by the way she walked and acted that she would soon be moaning and writhing. I had promises to keep.
With no hurry, I removed her knickers, spread her legs, parted her folds, and scouted the promised land with my tongue. The shopkeepers nodded approval as Patricia moaned and gripped my head as my tongue touched the promised land. The people in the tea shop smiled knowingly as Patricia writhed, arched her back, and groaned as my tongue entered the promised land. The guests in the lobby sighed with relief as Patricia cried out my name and squeezed me with her thighs as my tongue took the promised land. I had delivered the promised Patricia smiling, flushed, and breathing hard.
I removed the rest of my clothes, and we were lying side by side.
I whispered in her ear, "Having sex with me is part of your life. I've had you a thousand times, and I want to have you again. It's soul-satisfying to have you."
I continued, "I'm going to have sex with you a thousand more times, just with you. You're special to me."
What happened next is merely a routine, domestic scene. He ran his fingers through her hair ... the hair he knew so well ... the hair that let him identify her across a crowd of people. She held him and let him calm her and soothe her. She let him slowly began their intimacy. When she felt comfortable enough to want more, she sighed with contentment, pressed against him, and gave him small, welcoming kisses. He welcomed her in kind, and then nibbled his way down her neck to one of her breasts ... the breast of his athletically built lady ... a breast he constantly claimed was the right size and shape for him. After all, he had chosen to romance her with full knowledge of her figure ... a figure he liked. He had chosen to romance her because she was an intelligent, classy lady ... a lady he wanted for a companion ... a lady to whom he wanted to give pleasure.
His companion held him and moaned as he kissed and caressed her breasts. Exciting sex is supposed to be unrestrained, thought his companion, as she responded to his restrained attention. Wanton desire grew in his lady until she could no longer resist. She took his cock in her loving, gentle fingers and then slid down to take his cock between her warm, moist lips. She liked kissing her lover's beautiful cock, and the feel of it in her hands and mouth inflamed her. She wanted his cock inside her. When he spread her legs and entered her, it was the best thing in the world. His wanting to have her was better than an orgasm. The thought that his cock was only for her and they would do this over and over again made it twice as sweet. He was inside her making the insistent moves that had his companion making her distinctive sounds of coupling. It really isn't that exciting to be taken in a calm, unhurried, self-assured manner, she told herself, as his calm, self-assured moves stripped away her rationality. She could only feel her need to have more of him.
The thought that he was her loving hubby bored into her mind. He knows what I'm like, and he accepts me, she thought. I can't do anything wrong for him. I can have him any way I want to, and he'll like it.
She rolled on top of him, straddled him, and moved for him the way she had always wanted to move. Her hair hung down over a face shaped by her passion. Her body twisted with the urgent demands of her unbearable need. Her hair tossed and her face glowed with desire as she performed her wild romp on her sweetheart. She let herself grunt and moan with lust as she thrust herself on her darling's cock. Her moves became wild enough that he had to hold her to keep inside her. She pummeled him with the uncontrollable demands of her coupling. She cried out his name as he gave her the sex she wanted. Her vagina fired the signal to her brain, and she cried out incoherently as the mind-blinding message erased her thoughts. She collapsed on her lover. Her thankful spasms of gratitude milked him dry as he gushed inside her.
Ah, yes, at home with Patricia.
I held Patricia as she gradually recovered. I had expected no less from my intelligent and classy lady ... my lovely and worthwhile companion.
It was a soul-satisfying experience. Patricia was special.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Hermann Chronicles
58 Reviews | 9.28/10 Average
Mmm... lovely and interesting observations being made by Hermann... His perceptions and genteel warmth seem to have affected his hosts--He seems to have evoked a considerate and much appreciated empathy (and perhaps more) within and from Narcissa, in particular... and from within himself for the lady of the Manor. Love the cultural background snippets revealed throughout-- the esoteric Death Eaters' social circle has been infiltrated by a unique 'voice'!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Appreciate the comments. The story does try to portray a character with a different point of view.One possibility is that the Malfoys and Durmstrang have been misrepresented in canon. This is the Malfoys at home. And it is the Malfoys without Lucius. After all, Draco is a better scholar than Harry and a better athlete than Hermione. His father is disappointed in him, but his mother supports him. Is Hermann an aristocrat, an artificial personality?
Intriguing, fresh, and unique! A rare gem of a male original character dropped into canon and on his way to Hogwarts--brilliant! "(...) You don't have a House called 'Gottverflucht' do you?"--lol! But poor dear... the day is starting out a bit shakey for him and he is so very critical of himself... Hermann Busch has definitely a tale to tell--looking forward to his chronicles of his life and times at Hogwarts/Great Britain!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Hope you enjoy the tale. It is the first story I wrote, and for some reason, I decided to break all the rules: no first person narrative, non-chronological chapters, no transfer students at Hogwarts, no one is as smart as Hermione. Our character is a stranger in a strange land.
It seemed to me that he has asperger's syndrome. I do not regard Hermann as a Casanova. but was hoping he would manage to sleep with more girls. particularly If You could manage an ffmf. loved your first half writing more than the second half no idea why is there a difference but still excellenmy done.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Mild autism or cultural differences or socially awkward scientist or forty-year-old women versus sixteen-year-old girls?
ffmf? He keeps thinking the fmf is going to get him killed.
Don't know if there is a difference in writing styles or not since I am too close to the material. The first half has more varied interactions with the girls although I remember the second-half scenes with Pansy and Li Shan.
lol. excellent characterisation. notaAllboring....
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. Yes, the first chapter tries to present some of his character and dilemma while at Hogwarts.
My days as a lonely wizard were over.She said, "Do you know Theo Nott?" LOL, this entire story is too good! i love your writing style... it conveys emotion without actually telling you... it's so clever =)
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. I tried for a zen no-style, but I don't think I accomplished it.
Response from LoveFenrir (Reviewer)
Are you kidding? You are undoubtedly the master of this style =)
i love your writing style =Dthe first sentence had me literally LOL-ing! my plan was to review every chapter but i'm just getting so carried away with the plotthis hermann guy is such a sexy yet naive player <3 how is this possible? O.O
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. This was the second story I wrote, and I tried pushing the boundaries by breaking all the rules and conventions, which makes it difficult to read. For various reasons, Hermann is an outsider and morally conflicted.
Response from LoveFenrir (Reviewer)
Once you get past the confronting writing style, you really start to love it! I'm surprised more readers aren't obsessed with your work =)
I have really enjoyed reading this fic. I particularly loved the good bye to all his friends at the end, it was well written and beautiful.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the kind comments.
Arguing with the sorting hat! How cool!As before, I wonder why you've changed to Padma's POV in the second last paragraph, but otherwise, I like this chapter a lot!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for reviewing. Hermann does not take Hogwarts at face value. The change in point of view was probably not necessary, since most readers could guess what she was thinking, but I’m preparing the reader for some really jarring changes that occur later.
Ooh, I like the romance unfolding between Herman and Narcissa.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for a perceptive review. I tried to write a subtle, growing relationship that neither was consciously aware of.
I think you did a fantastic job of portraying a character with English as his second language. His speech seemed very believable to me, and I think the insertion of the German words lent credibility to it. My only nitpick about this chapter is the three lines where it changes from his point of view. After Hermann and the others had left, Ginny rounded on Hermione, "You could have been a little more unfriendly if you had worked at it.""Ginny," Hermione said quietly, "that shy little boy is probably a Death Eater.""I'm going to board the 'nice looking train,'" said Ginny, walking off in a huff.That doesn't seem to fit to me. Since the story is written as his narritive it seems out of place to mention an exchange he didn't hear. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it. I'm totally intrigued that he knows Draco, Crabbe and Goyle, and I found the opening paragraph very intriguing, particularly the part in which you say a twelve-month period in which I betrayed everyone who came into my life. I'm off to read the next chapter!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I appreciate your remarks about the stilted conversation, and I’m glad you found the prologue and first scene intriguing. Thanks for the review. Regarding point of view, I originally had one point of view, but initial readers wanted the views of other characters in some scenes. I resisted at first, but then decided to approach the changing points of view as a writing challenge. The site editors questioned me about it, but decided to allow it since I knew I was doing it and regarded it as a writing challenge. I realize that, no matter how well it is done, it will bother some readers. In chapter 1, I could have used the artifice of Hermann overhearing the conversation, but I decided to ease the reader into the fact that the story was going to do this. In some later scenes, the abrupt change creates an effect would be impossible to achieve by other means. If it helps, I regard fan fiction as an experimental arena. If I’m successful, you will find things in ‘Hermann’ that you will not find anywhere else.
There were many amusing bits in this chapter. I wish there were more ... but I'm not bitter about it.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Okay, the chapter kept you anchored and you rode it through to the bitter end. Thanks for the review
What I find interesting is that no matter how much Hermann offends others, he intrrigues them so much that they just can't leave him alone.
I don't find Hermann offensive necessarily, though the way he speaks can oftentimes offend. He is a complex character -- and he is so intriguing as to be addictive. Sort of like my morning coffee, I need a little Hermann.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Or … we can invert it and say that the canon character, remaining in canon, can approach him only through his flaws.
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
And, I must add that I am in awe at how thoroughly you have thought through JKR's story, your story and its character. I have to admit, it's more than many do, including myself.
great new chapter! yay for TS Eliot. i'm looking forward to more.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks — continued interest by an accomplished writer means a lot. If you like Eliot, there is a parody of ‘Wasteland’ near the end of chapter 8. Part of it is the chapter summary. I hope it’s not carrying on too much to say that there’s one of e. e. cummings (Buffalo Bill) with Luna at self-defense practice in the desolate field.
I just read this story all in one sitting, and I really enjoyed it. The language reminds me of this book I read a few years ago called 'Everything is Illuminated' It's sexy and interesting seeing Hogwarts from an outsider's perspective. continue please!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you very much for a great review. I hope you find the rest of the story as interesting.
... And the girl in the library reading this wonderful story shouted rounds of "Bravo!" as their souls were equally satisfied and another excellent chapter came to a close.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Glad to be entertaining. The next several chapters are calmer. The plot requires the introduction of a major canon character, and it requires this character remains strictly canon.
All I can say is I think Luna is channeling me. Shan definitely is not. I would never request a sonnet. (I like punishment, but not THAT much punishment.)
Darn it ... now what was that dismembering charm?
Okay. So that wasn't a very mature review, was it? I have an excuse, though ... the vacation has left me in need of a vacation. But this chapter had so many little gems in it. It was either that or I could have sung a stanza of:
Im Hogwarts der ist kein bier.
(Which I understood perfectly of course, being originally from Wisconsin.)
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
The review fits the chapter — Ravenclaws at play. It’s quite funny you consider writing a sonnet crueler than dismemberment.
Oh, that was so funny ... ripping a chapter out of the Malfoy book to say he they had a wider range of acceptable behavior!
Hermann's escapades were well written. I particularly enjoyed the verbal part of the stimulation. While he still has many things to learn, he is certainly learning a few things quite well.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I thought I had written the raunchiest scene this side of consensual. The site editor snickered over it, and you found it titillating. Tough crowd.
I love the introduction of the kata and the two girls going through the routines and fencing with him. It gives Hermann something more to think about, doesn't it?
I wonder if I've said this before in another review... I think the episodic approach is what keeps this story interesting. Every chapter there is something new. And I really like that.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I almost prefaced the chapter with Tyger, Tyger, burning bright In the forests of the night Hermann is not wrong about those two. I still remember blocking out the vignettes as they occurred to me, arranging and rearranging them on the timeline, and working at getting them to come together.
I must say that Hermann is quite in touch with his feelings. I suppose in more ways than one. (I was specificially talking about how he is so in tune with his anger, but I see that it could be interpreted another way as well.) I think Hermann is wise to take advantage of an opportunity when he's presented with one, but the poor boy certainly needs a witch with more ... verve.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I appreciate your continued interest. Yes, you have summed up the points of the chapter: his dealing with his raging emotions, his moral quandary, and his feelings of inadequacy.
Well, it seems that Hermann is getting used to conversing with girls. Honestly, he was mis-housed. He is a true Slytherin. But, I do agree that he has the intelligence to rival the most-intelligent Ravenclaw.
I have become addicted to this story, I hope you are aware.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Yes, that Slytherin-Ravenclaw mix is the main point of the chapter. It's not much of a spoiler to say that it's important for the story.Hermann is marginally better with the girls.I notice you can review without giving away the contents. Very clever. Is that a Slytherin trait?
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
Every time I put on that darn hat, it tosses me into Slytherin. I'm not disappointed. *wink*
There are many readers who read reviews first, which can be like reading the last page of a novel first if reviewers aren't careful. I intentionally try not to give away any spoilers.
I was happy to see a longer chapter. Not only does it give us more insight into the Malfoy family relationship, it gives us more insight into Hermann. Your style of writing also lends a hand to the character development. The more I read, the more I like this story, Fairfield! Keep up the excellent work!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I’m glad you liked the chapter, and I thank you for the encouragement. Later sections, however, may disappoint you. If I recall correctly, the order of importance for the ancient Greeks was (1) plot, (2) ideas, (3) character, and (4) diction. I tried a mix. [Yes. I read Aristotle’s ‘Poetics,’ became inspired, and wrote a fanfic.]
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
I am rarely disappointed. I understand that some chapters may develop plot while others develop character or other things. I am a patient girl.
I believe you are the only person I've met who got inspired to write fanfic after reading Aristotle. My goodness. Maybe it's what makes your writing so interesting to me. It could be what gives it that unique flavor.
I kinda hate to see it end. This was really a fun story to read. You gave Hermann such interesting adventures/encounters with Hogwarts as a backdrop. It was nice to see a different perspective--even if it was from an adolescent who was somewhat a Casanova.
And even though Hermann was made up completely, the other "normal" characters were fairly believable. (I hate it when someone writes a story about Harry--or one of the trio--and makes it look like a 16-year old is directing adults and that the adults are just meekly doing what he says.) In short, I think you've done a fine job of writing.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for the perceptive review and kind comments.
The story is finished, and everyone who is going to read it has read it. No reason to worry about spoilers.
Please, tell your friends about the story. Lucius is available. Narcissa does not regard setting a large snake on a student body containing her son as good parenting.
Adult Brit wizard society appears weak in the novels—probably to emphasize Harry’s heroism. Hermann, however, observes Brit wizard society is weak, reasons that Harry is not a social reformer and cannot act beyond society, concludes that Harry will be ineffective or detrimental, and decides to take independent action.
Canon Hermione spouts canon. Since Hermann believes canon is nonsense, he thinks she’s a nutter, and Hermione is left a lonely swot.
Such a beautiful good-bye to all his friends. I felt sort of sad that he was so alone in the end ... but all good things must come to an end, mustn't they?
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
My regards to The Petulant Poetess, the only fan fiction site with the courage and tolerance to publish ‘The Hermann Chronicles.’
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
And you are more than welcome here. I enjoyed the uniqueness of this story and the uniqueness of your style. Thank you, Fairfield, for posting!!
I've been reading this story and find it really funny--and often hot.
There are stories where some of the characters are out of character, but the author won't recognize it. You've done a wonderful job of creating out-of-canon situations and characters--and acknowledging it. Thanks for providing such fun!
I should probably have reviewed more often, but I smile every time I read your work.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for a perceptive and sympathetic review. Most of the characters are original or minor (who may as well be original). I tried a transformation of Draco. Instead of reacting to Harry, I gave him an independent existence with a supportive mother, a peer as a friend, Quidditch, Potions, and girlfriends. I tried to keep Hermione in canon. Her interactions with Hermann are a clash of personalities and cultures.
Response from janis (Reviewer)
I noticed your transformation of Draco. I have a friend who would have been angry at your sympathetic portrayal of Narcissa--mostly because she fancies Lucius--but it was quite nice to see more about Draco and less about Harry for once. Don't get me wrong, Harry is still the hero in my eyes, but since JKR's stories are basically told from Harry's perspective, it's refreshing to have Draco as a more complex character.
I think you did a good job of keeping Hermione in canon. You made her a swot, had a little competition going (completely believable) and also showed her as being quite logical.
I'm sorry to see the story end, but you're probably right to conclude it the way you have with the next chapter.
--Janis
A magical little interlude ... leaves me wondering where they teach Medieval sex charms. Those are quite useful.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
They are quite useful if you’re as capable as Janice Nott … of course you are … just mentioning it. Thanks for the review.