Clearwater 1
Chapter 8 of 19
Fairfield"Romance is the cruelest gift."
ReviewedChapter 8: 20 July 10:00 AM -- 2 August 5:00 PM Clearwater 1
"Oh," moaned Patricia Clearwater as she laid her head on my shoulder. "Oh, what would my husband say?"
Well. How had things come to that?
* * *
It began 20 July 1996. I had left Malfoy Manor that morning and had finally entered my London hotel room in the early afternoon. There was time to leisurely unpack and soak in a tub before meeting Mr. Clearwater at six. I was nervous, of course. He worked in the British Ministry of Magic, while I was a technically oriented student in Potions and Arithmancy. He had a wife; a twenty-year-old daughter, Penelope; and a ten-year-old son, David.
Luckily, I was not dependent on the Clearwaters for anything. The German and British Ministries wanted to use me as a mutual contact. I agreed, although I thought it would be better to send a diplomatic person and had said so. I also agreed there was no harm in my meeting Mr. Clearwater. Perhaps they thought something would work out socially. If it did, Mr. Clearwater would be someone in the British Ministry acquainted with a Durmstrang student. If not, the London hotel room was part of a permanently rented diplomatic suite, and there was plenty to see in both magical and non-magical London. The German Ministry was encouraging. "Relax a little before your new term," they told me.
There was a serious aspect to this visit. The German wizarding community, concerned about the coming civil war among the British wizards, was desperate to open all channels of communications. One of the fears among the German community was that most Brits probably thought all Durmstrang students were potential Death Eaters. The German Ministry wanted to dispel this preconception, and they wanted to know more about the English factions. Both sides regarded me as an intermediate that looked innocent and harmless. My message to both sides was that there was a good reason I looked innocent and harmless.
With all these thoughts to calm my mind, I met Mr. Clearwater, and we proceeded to his house. After introductions and some preliminary drinks, the Clearwater family and I were having dinner.
"Penelope's seeing Percy Weasley," said Mr. Clearwater. "He was Head Boy at Hogwarts."
"Penelope's got a boyfriend," interjected David. "If you bother her, he'll curse your bits off."
"David!" said Penelope.
"Don't worry, Hermann," said Mrs. Clearwater. "Percy will have to find his first."
"Mother!" said Penelope.
I took a page from the Malfoy book.
I saluted David with my wine glass. "Thanks for the warning."
I saluted Mrs. Clearwater. "Thanks for the reassurance."
I saluted Penelope. "Grace under stress."
Harold Clearwater broke in.
"We don't talk like that," said Mr. Clearwater to his son, "especially to guests."
"We shouldn't make comments about Percy," said Mr. Clearwater to his wife.
"You need to be more articulate with your brother, and you shouldn't shout at your mother," said Mr. Clearwater to his daughter.
"Your attempt at being a gentleman was well intentioned," Mr. Clearwater told me, "but my family's poor remarks didn't deserve a chivalric response."
I ripped a chapter out of the Malfoy book.
"Yes," I agreed. "I should have given my response more thought. It's the change of company. I've been with the Malfoys, and the aristocrats have a wider range of acceptable behavior. It will take a while for me to adapt to more civilized standards. I should begin here."
"Yes," said Mr. Clearwater, "that's the proper attitude."
Mr. Clearwater and I made a toast to improving my social skills. Penelope and Mrs. Clearwater were looking at me in wide-eyed disbelief. "Here's to the Malfoys," I said to myself. "I couldn't have handled this without your expert tutelage."
Mr. Clearwater then turned his attention to my attire. He was certain that I needed some proper British clothes. Mrs. Clearwater said she had several days free and could help me shop. Mr. Clearwater admitted that his wife could probably help. It was too bad that he was tied up at the office at the moment. Both Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater agreed that it would take Mrs. Clearwater several days to introduce me to proper British fashion.
After dinner, Mr. Clearwater retired to his study to catch up on some paperwork. Penelope remarked that her father worked very hard and wanted to know if she could corrupt me and her mother with an offer of brandy. The two of us were easily corrupted. The fourth of our group, David, was entertained by my stories of games and broom rides with Draco, Vincent, and Gregory. He had heard stories about the Malfoys, Crabbes, and Goyles from his mother, his sister, and his friends. He was amazed that someone could associate with them without getting killed. I assured him that I had only been mildly damaged. David went off to bed thinking that maybe I wasn't a complete prat. That left the far-more-interesting Penelope and her mother.
Penelope opened by assuring me that her life at Hogwarts had been dull and boring. I said that was student life everywhere. She should try Durmstrang where the only excitement was how crazy we would get during the winter. I told them about building the ice chute from the Boys' Dorm to the Dining Hall. The idea was that we could get up in the morning and then slide down to breakfast. Penelope and her mother expressed polite disbelief. I told them we even had guards (our version of Prefects) posted to levitate the younger students who missed the curves. That brought out that both Penelope and her mother had been Prefects at Hogwarts. I listened as they engaged in a friendly rivalry about who had to contend with the worst miscreants. I listened to their mutual complaint that Slytherin and Gryffindor Prefects were often worse than useless. They had both been Ravenclaws. It was late when I left. I assured them, most sincerely, that I had not been bored. Mrs. Clearwater worked in the mornings. I would meet her in the afternoon to begin getting my wardrobe in proper shape.
"If you can," I told her in sudden inspiration, "wear casual clothes. We can go boating, punting."
Mrs. Clearwater arrived a few minutes after noon the next day. Witches are not bothered by London traffic. I had spent the morning preparing and knew exactly where to go. We had a salad for lunch. We were soon on the water. I moved the boat away from the dock and heavy traffic. Mrs. Clearwater was a good sport and agreed to try punting. I told her that she could take it easy, that we weren't in any hurry to get anywhere, and that she should observe how the proper Brit dressed for punting. After all, that's what we were here for.
Later when we were having tea, Mrs. Clearwater asked if I was of age since I had been using magic. I told her that the German and English Ministries, along with my parents, had signed the papers making me a legal adult. It was standard for Durmstrang exchange students. Mrs. Clearwater said she had had a wonderful time and, yes, she had carefully observed the proper clothes for punting. She asserted that she was on duty at this very moment ... observing the proper clothes for strolling past a tea shop. What would her husband say if she were with me and not looking at clothes?
Mrs. Clearwater took Wednesday off from work to take me to a museum. She declared it a good place to observe a range of fashions. By early afternoon, we were strolling through the museum holding hands.
"What would my husband say?" said Mrs. Clearwater as she took my hand.
Later, Mrs. Clearwater put her arm around my waist in front of an exhibit. "Oh, what would my husband say?"
Friday noon when Mrs. Clearwater arrived at my hotel room, I was still adjusting my tie in the mirror.
"I don't think my husband would like this," said Mrs. Clearwater as she stood behind me and put her arms around me.
Was Patricia Clearwater only reacting against her husband? Couldn't she act on her own? Well, perhaps not. I would have to accept her as she was. I turned around to face her.
"Oh," moaned Patricia Clearwater as she laid her head on my shoulder. "Oh, what would my husband say?"
"He would say you shouldn't let me hold you," I said, putting my arms around her.
"Mmm," went Patricia.
"He would say you shouldn't let me stroke your hair," I said, running my fingers through her hair.
"He would definitely say you shouldn't hug me back."
Patricia put her arms around me and snuggled against me.
"He would warn you about listening to me when I told you that you were a beautiful and classy lady."
"You're so sweet," sighed Patricia.
"He would say 'Patricia, make sure you don't kiss him.'"
Patricia put an arm around my neck and lowered my head. She nibbled on my lips. She gave me a sensuous kiss that said, 'This is what I'm like, soft and yielding.' Her tongue was between my lips.
"He would tell you to not let me take liberties with you."
I ran my hands over Patricia as I waltzed her to the bed. I let her fall back on the bed with her feet still on the floor.
Patricia held my head as I nuzzled her.
"Your husband would say, 'For heaven's sake, Patricia, don't unbutton your blouse.'"
I looked at her and said, "Unbutton your blouse, honey."
Patricia unbuttoned her blouse.
"Your husband would say, 'For heaven's sake, Patricia, don't unfasten your bra.'"
I looked at her and said, "Unfasten your bra, sweetheart."
Patricia unfastened her bra.
I tenderly took care of one breast and then moved to the other. Patricia was moaning.
"Your husband would say, 'Okay, stop right there. Don't show him your nice legs.'"
"Show me your nice legs, darling," I said.
Patricia pulled up her skirt. I put my head between Patricia's slightly parted knees and began kissing her inner thighs. Patricia opened her legs wider.
"'There,' your husband would say, 'I tried to warn you. Once he sees your lovely legs, he's going to go wild.'"
I leaned over Patricia and said, "I want everything."
"Your husband would say, 'Don't lift your skirt higher as you're now doing. If Hermann sees how shapely you look in your knickers, he'll get a tremendous erection. There, you see his trousers bulge. You know what he's thinking. He wants in your knickers. He wants to take what you've got in your married knickers. Look, he's pulled out his cock. He tells you it's for you. Isn't it beautiful? He's sliding up between your legs. He's pulled aside your underwear. He's listening to you grunt as he splits your slit. He's listening to you moan as he slides his beautiful cock into you. He's all the way in. You're mounted. He's mounted you. He looks into your eyes, the eyes of a married woman he's mounted. He looks into your eyes as your defenses go down. He listens as you whimper for him to take you, to fuck you. He knows he has you. He watches your body move for him as he takes you. He tells you you're such a darling as you moan for him. He tells you how lovely you are as he hears you get sloppy, squishy wet for him. He can see and feel your moves become more urgent as he has his way with you. He enjoys listening as your moans become animal grunts. He feels your legs wrap around him, and he knows your toes are dancing at the ceiling. He watches your face contort. He presses into you as you thrash your legs and squirm on his cock. He sees your helpless smile. He knows he's taken you. He hears you cry out. He calmly enjoys your unfaithful orgasm. Your married thighs squeeze him. Your married vagina creams and caresses his beautiful, sweet cock.'"
I looked at Patricia's flushed face, her shapely legs, her knickers, and her pretty hairy slit with my erect prick in it.
When Hermann lavished attention on her breasts after asking her to remove her bra, it entered Mrs. Clearwater's mind that Hermann really liked her. She gave in to her impulses and ran her fingers through his hair. She gave in to temptation and moaned as Hermann made her feel like an attractive woman.
When Hermann had nibbled his way up her thighs, it entered Mrs. Clearwater's mind that Hermann liked her enough to make her be a naughty girl. She sighed with the wicked pleasure of spreading her legs for him.
When Hermann mentioned her knickers, Mrs. Clearwater kicked off her sandals at the spiciness, and when he mentioned getting in them, Mrs. Clearwater was wriggling her toes. If Hermann had cared to look, he would have noticed that her dancing toes were even pettier than her knickers, and her toenail polish was the same bright color as her knickers. Mrs. Clearwater had dressed very carefully that morning.
When Hermann pulled out his cock, it entered Mrs. Clearwater's mind that she wanted him, and she wouldn't resist if he made her be a wicked lady. Mrs. Clearwater gasped at the shock of penetration. Mrs. Clearwater moaned with deep, primal pleasure as she accepted Hermann inside her. She moaned with the deep, primal pleasure of being wanted and desired.
When Hermann's calming voice told Mrs. Clearwater she was mounted, it doubled her pleasure of being wanted and desired. When Hermann's lovely voice told Mrs. Clearwater that she was yielding, she looked in his eyes to let him know that it was sweet to be wanted. She felt filled with the sweetness of his desire for her. She felt sweetness beyond belief as she yielded. She whispered that Hermann should take her.
When Hermann described his taking her, Mrs. Clearwater was captured by Hermann's loving depiction of her unfaithfulness. She felt deliciously evil as she whimpered for him to fuck her. She enjoyed the guilty pleasure of moving with him as he took her, the guilty pleasure of moving with someone who wanted to have her. She was his lovely, darling, married mistress. She was a gentle lady listening to the wet noise of her infidelity. She felt naughty and became demanding as she let the pleasure increase. She was a bad little girl down to her pretty little toes that were waving at the ceiling. Her sounds became animal grunts and her face contorted as the wicked pleasure he gave her became almost agony. She smiled helplessly at Hermann as she was gripped by the searing, painful joy of forbidden copulation. Mrs. Clearwater cried out at the spicy intensity of her unfaithful orgasm. Her orgasm became even more intense when Hermann held her like a lover, a lover who was savoring her sex, who was savoring her sex as worthwhile and precious. Hermann was the only thing in the world. She clung to him with her arms as he made her feel wonderful. Her lovely legs and pretty vagina squeezed and caressed him with the joy of being appreciated.
For Patricia Clearwater, the world and its problems had vanished in the delight of being wanted, and the accumulated tension of years had disappeared in the wonderment of being cherished. Patricia Clearwater now wanted Hermann to complete his possession of her. She ached for him to find his release inside her. She ached to be sexy for him, to be the one he wanted.
I was still looking at Patricia's flushed face, shapely legs, knickers, and hairy slit with my erect prick in it.
"I want to have you," I told Patricia, moving my prick slowly in and out. When Patricia felt slick again, I took my prick out of her, pulled her knickers off, and placed her entirely on the bed. "You're a married woman, and you shouldn't let me do this, Patricia," I said, putting my hands on her knees and opening her legs. "You're somebody's wife, and you shouldn't let me hold you down," I said, putting my hands on top of hers and holding her down. "I'm putting my prick between your married legs. I want to slide in and take you and make you be unfaithful. Your husband would say, 'Don't let him slide in and have you. Don't be unfaithful for him.'"
"You're very pretty, Patricia. Be unfaithful for me."
"Take me, darling," breathed Patricia hoarsely.
I'm lucky, thought Patricia, glad that Hermann was entering her again. Hermann is doing and saying everything I could hope for. When he pulled out I was empty, but he's back inside. He is taking care of me. He is being nice to me. He wants me. Hermann is being a perfect gentleman.
There was the sloppy fun between the spread legs of a married lady, the contented sighs of a woman being unfaithful, and the quiet joy of having someone's wife.
* * *
The next day was Saturday and I was once again invited to dinner at the Clearwaters. I arrived at six. Harold was working in his study. Patricia had planned a relaxed evening with a spaghetti dinner. The sauce was being kept warm. The pasta would be cooked when we were ready to eat. We would get our vitamins munching on vegetables and sipping wine while Patricia, Penelope, David, and I played cards.
Dinner was ready, and Harold joined us. The spaghetti was okay, but surely their guest deserved something more elaborate. We were smart not to rush into buying clothes, but we didn't seem very efficient. We accepted all this as constructive criticism. Harold was doing the best he could for us before he had to return to his study.
After dinner, it was brandy and charades. Patricia was in one of her moods. I got a piece of parchment with her handwriting that said "Don Juan." I greeted, snogged, and left several imaginary women. Patricia and Penelope applauded my efforts. The pantomime now included ripping imaginary blouses and running my hand up imaginary skirts. My eyes were popping open and my tongue was darting out at the delectable discoveries. Patricia and Penelope cheered. "Oh, come on," I finally said. They guessed "Casanova." I was crushed. I should have begun by saluting a statue.
Harold, Penelope, and David all became very sleepy and retired early. Was this Patricia's doing? Had she slipped anything into their drinks?
Patricia wanted to take the stairs to roof of their apartment building to see what stars could be seen in the middle of London. She said she was a hopeless romantic.
"You were a perfect gentleman all evening," she told me when we were half way up the stairs.
"I hope no one noticed that I've been staring at you all evening," I replied.
She stopped and ran her hand through her hair. "Were you really?"
I held her hand as we climbed the rest of the stairs. What was I to this lady? A Harold substitute? Why was he neglecting his witch? Was he neglecting his witch? Was Harold in love with someone else? Did Patricia care for Harold? Did Patricia care for me? Was she lonely and frustrated and anyone would do? Did she need the spice of an extramarital fling? I decided to try the risky business of light romance. Why couldn't I be happy just seducing her?
"What would my husband think if he knew I was looking at the stars with you?"
Patricia had brought a blanket. I stretched out on it. "Perhaps he would think that you just wanted to show someone the stars. Company is nice under the stars."
I waited patiently, wondering if I was doing everything all wrong. I hoped she would talk to me and tell me about herself. I liked Patricia. Eventually Patricia was lying on her side facing me with her head propped up with her hand. She told me that at Hogwarts she liked Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures, and Charms. She didn't think she would like Magical Creatures now because the professor was irresponsible with dangerous animals. It had ruined the course for Penelope. She was really proud of how well Penelope had done at Hogwarts. Penelope was very capable, and she was earning her own living by working for several stores. She didn't think Penelope would stay at home much longer. She wasn't sure David was going to do as well at Hogwarts. Harold had wanted a son, but he hadn't touched her since David.
I told her about my younger sister who seemed to be good in everything, about the effort at Durmstrang to expand their curriculum, and about coming to Hogwarts for Potions. By now Patricia's head was on my shoulder, and she was falling asleep. I took Patricia back to her apartment, assured her that I had enjoyed a wonderful evening, agreed that she could kiss me goodnight, and returned to my hotel rooms.
Yes, I had enjoyed a wonderful evening with Patricia. Did I regret not seducing her? No, but I regretted not getting the whole package of enjoying a nice evening with her, spending a cozy night with her, and finally sending her off to work the next morning a bit late and flushed with sex ... passionate sex with her wizard. We'll embarrass the kids.
It was Sunday. I had spent the previous evening with the Clearwaters. It had been cards, dinner, charades, and conversation with Patricia. The message from Patricia arrived at noon saying that she and Penelope wanted to get out of the flat. I replied that if all else failed, we could have tea and oranges and watch the boats go by on the river. So we did. They were still skeptical about the ice chute at Durmstrang. I reassured them, if that's the appropriate phrase, that things at Durmstrang got crazier than that. The major obstacles facing the ice chute were the bridges over the corridors. The Professors refused to detour around our engineering marvel. No, no one got hurt sliding down to breakfast. People did get hurt when we chose sides and played 'Vikings Storming the Glacier' on it. No, I didn't know why Vikings would want to storm a glacier. I could tell them that Vikings were inordinately fond of oranges. Yes, Vikings were, and, yes, I could peel Patricia and Penelope another orange. Penelope wondered if Vikings were inordinately fond of tea. We talked about it and decided Vikings hadn't invented tea yet.
* * *
There is a quiet sadness in romance two people more vulnerable than usual and older women more vulnerable than girls. Patricia entered my rooms Monday and held me and cried quietly on my shoulder. Then we moved over to the couch and held each other.
Patricia thought we should go boating. I moved the boat around aimlessly. Patricia and I were hardly aware of where we were. The other boaters waved at us and maneuvered around us. Still in a daze, we left the boats to go shopping. We were at a large store, and amidst the bustle she took me into a small dressing room with her.
Patricia Clearwater had always been disappointed in her figure. She had always felt that it was not round enough, not full-bodied enough. Now, for the first time, she found herself not caring. Her body was what it was, and she would offer it to Hermann. He would surely accept it; and having accepted it, he would cherish it as he should. In the delirium of romance, anything else was unthinkable.
Now with contentment running through her veins, Patricia told her lover that he was her darling and placed his hands on her breasts. She sighed as he fondled them gently and with great appreciation. As he should, she thought. Patricia unbuttoned her blouse and opened her bra so that Hermann could get his hands directly on her breasts, so that she could feel Hermann's hands on her. Her lips caressed his. The thrill of his touch started between her legs, ran up through her central core, and escaped as a low, yearning moan. She ran her hands through his hair and then guided his lips to her breasts. His lips and hands tingled through her until she knew an empty ache. "Come into me," she told him. She felt him enter her and pierce her inner being. The thin tendrils of his possession spread through her and blanked out her conscious thought and snuffed out her remaining willpower. The thin tendrils of his possession gripped her in their insistent rhythm, and she was dimly aware that she was moving with their demands, and she was dimly aware that she couldn't do anything else. She did not know that she cried out his name as, in this time of no-time, Patricia experienced a blinding flash, a warm liquid sensation, and a slow return to consciousness where she discovered that she was squeezing Hermann in a dying series of contractions. Hermann held her, as he should, while Patricia peacefully returned to the real world. Hermann led a dreamy-eyed Patricia back to his hotel room. They collapsed together on the bed and held each other.
Romance is the cruelest gift, raising hope out of the silent heart, mixing calm and lust, stirring cold feelings with warm thoughts. Her life had kept her safe, covering pain in a layer of forgetful routine, providing a little joy in measured amounts.
* * *
The rest of that week Patricia and I spent all the time we could together. That Saturday and Sunday, Patricia planned to visit her parents. Friday afternoon, Patricia and I were having tea and dutifully observing the latest British fashions.
Patricia, out of who-knows-what depths of insight and acceptance and jealousy, suddenly said, "Have you seduced Penelope yet?"
"What?"
"I said, 'Have you seduced Penny yet?'"
Tricky question. A simple 'no' would mean 'not yet.' Telling her that I had no such intentions might insult her daughter. I decided to go on the offensive.
"Are you tired of me?" I asked.
"No," said Patricia, "but you do know Penny's been looking at you."
"I hadn't noticed," I said truthfully.
"I think you're going to have trouble with girls," said Patricia.
She paused and said, "In a way it's good. You want your partner to be willing and aware of what she's doing." She looked at me sadly. "But you're going to have trouble with girls."
* * *
My mistakes with Patricia were the mistakes of a young, self-centered wizard. I told myself that Patricia deserved affection. My selfish reason was that I wanted Patricia to want me as much as I wanted her. I wanted Patricia to be thinking of me when I entered her. I wanted Patricia to moan my name in passion. My weakest excuse was that no one else was romancing her and making love to her. I did occasionally wonder what was wrong with British wizards, but then I recalled that I was the one doing wrong.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Hermann Chronicles
58 Reviews | 9.28/10 Average
Mmm... lovely and interesting observations being made by Hermann... His perceptions and genteel warmth seem to have affected his hosts--He seems to have evoked a considerate and much appreciated empathy (and perhaps more) within and from Narcissa, in particular... and from within himself for the lady of the Manor. Love the cultural background snippets revealed throughout-- the esoteric Death Eaters' social circle has been infiltrated by a unique 'voice'!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Appreciate the comments. The story does try to portray a character with a different point of view.One possibility is that the Malfoys and Durmstrang have been misrepresented in canon. This is the Malfoys at home. And it is the Malfoys without Lucius. After all, Draco is a better scholar than Harry and a better athlete than Hermione. His father is disappointed in him, but his mother supports him. Is Hermann an aristocrat, an artificial personality?
Intriguing, fresh, and unique! A rare gem of a male original character dropped into canon and on his way to Hogwarts--brilliant! "(...) You don't have a House called 'Gottverflucht' do you?"--lol! But poor dear... the day is starting out a bit shakey for him and he is so very critical of himself... Hermann Busch has definitely a tale to tell--looking forward to his chronicles of his life and times at Hogwarts/Great Britain!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Hope you enjoy the tale. It is the first story I wrote, and for some reason, I decided to break all the rules: no first person narrative, non-chronological chapters, no transfer students at Hogwarts, no one is as smart as Hermione. Our character is a stranger in a strange land.
It seemed to me that he has asperger's syndrome. I do not regard Hermann as a Casanova. but was hoping he would manage to sleep with more girls. particularly If You could manage an ffmf. loved your first half writing more than the second half no idea why is there a difference but still excellenmy done.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Mild autism or cultural differences or socially awkward scientist or forty-year-old women versus sixteen-year-old girls?
ffmf? He keeps thinking the fmf is going to get him killed.
Don't know if there is a difference in writing styles or not since I am too close to the material. The first half has more varied interactions with the girls although I remember the second-half scenes with Pansy and Li Shan.
lol. excellent characterisation. notaAllboring....
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. Yes, the first chapter tries to present some of his character and dilemma while at Hogwarts.
My days as a lonely wizard were over.She said, "Do you know Theo Nott?" LOL, this entire story is too good! i love your writing style... it conveys emotion without actually telling you... it's so clever =)
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. I tried for a zen no-style, but I don't think I accomplished it.
Response from LoveFenrir (Reviewer)
Are you kidding? You are undoubtedly the master of this style =)
i love your writing style =Dthe first sentence had me literally LOL-ing! my plan was to review every chapter but i'm just getting so carried away with the plotthis hermann guy is such a sexy yet naive player <3 how is this possible? O.O
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks. This was the second story I wrote, and I tried pushing the boundaries by breaking all the rules and conventions, which makes it difficult to read. For various reasons, Hermann is an outsider and morally conflicted.
Response from LoveFenrir (Reviewer)
Once you get past the confronting writing style, you really start to love it! I'm surprised more readers aren't obsessed with your work =)
I have really enjoyed reading this fic. I particularly loved the good bye to all his friends at the end, it was well written and beautiful.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the kind comments.
Arguing with the sorting hat! How cool!As before, I wonder why you've changed to Padma's POV in the second last paragraph, but otherwise, I like this chapter a lot!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for reviewing. Hermann does not take Hogwarts at face value. The change in point of view was probably not necessary, since most readers could guess what she was thinking, but I’m preparing the reader for some really jarring changes that occur later.
Ooh, I like the romance unfolding between Herman and Narcissa.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for a perceptive review. I tried to write a subtle, growing relationship that neither was consciously aware of.
I think you did a fantastic job of portraying a character with English as his second language. His speech seemed very believable to me, and I think the insertion of the German words lent credibility to it. My only nitpick about this chapter is the three lines where it changes from his point of view. After Hermann and the others had left, Ginny rounded on Hermione, "You could have been a little more unfriendly if you had worked at it.""Ginny," Hermione said quietly, "that shy little boy is probably a Death Eater.""I'm going to board the 'nice looking train,'" said Ginny, walking off in a huff.That doesn't seem to fit to me. Since the story is written as his narritive it seems out of place to mention an exchange he didn't hear. Otherwise, I really enjoyed it. I'm totally intrigued that he knows Draco, Crabbe and Goyle, and I found the opening paragraph very intriguing, particularly the part in which you say a twelve-month period in which I betrayed everyone who came into my life. I'm off to read the next chapter!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I appreciate your remarks about the stilted conversation, and I’m glad you found the prologue and first scene intriguing. Thanks for the review. Regarding point of view, I originally had one point of view, but initial readers wanted the views of other characters in some scenes. I resisted at first, but then decided to approach the changing points of view as a writing challenge. The site editors questioned me about it, but decided to allow it since I knew I was doing it and regarded it as a writing challenge. I realize that, no matter how well it is done, it will bother some readers. In chapter 1, I could have used the artifice of Hermann overhearing the conversation, but I decided to ease the reader into the fact that the story was going to do this. In some later scenes, the abrupt change creates an effect would be impossible to achieve by other means. If it helps, I regard fan fiction as an experimental arena. If I’m successful, you will find things in ‘Hermann’ that you will not find anywhere else.
There were many amusing bits in this chapter. I wish there were more ... but I'm not bitter about it.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Okay, the chapter kept you anchored and you rode it through to the bitter end. Thanks for the review
What I find interesting is that no matter how much Hermann offends others, he intrrigues them so much that they just can't leave him alone.
I don't find Hermann offensive necessarily, though the way he speaks can oftentimes offend. He is a complex character -- and he is so intriguing as to be addictive. Sort of like my morning coffee, I need a little Hermann.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Or … we can invert it and say that the canon character, remaining in canon, can approach him only through his flaws.
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
And, I must add that I am in awe at how thoroughly you have thought through JKR's story, your story and its character. I have to admit, it's more than many do, including myself.
great new chapter! yay for TS Eliot. i'm looking forward to more.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thanks — continued interest by an accomplished writer means a lot. If you like Eliot, there is a parody of ‘Wasteland’ near the end of chapter 8. Part of it is the chapter summary. I hope it’s not carrying on too much to say that there’s one of e. e. cummings (Buffalo Bill) with Luna at self-defense practice in the desolate field.
I just read this story all in one sitting, and I really enjoyed it. The language reminds me of this book I read a few years ago called 'Everything is Illuminated' It's sexy and interesting seeing Hogwarts from an outsider's perspective. continue please!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you very much for a great review. I hope you find the rest of the story as interesting.
... And the girl in the library reading this wonderful story shouted rounds of "Bravo!" as their souls were equally satisfied and another excellent chapter came to a close.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Glad to be entertaining. The next several chapters are calmer. The plot requires the introduction of a major canon character, and it requires this character remains strictly canon.
All I can say is I think Luna is channeling me. Shan definitely is not. I would never request a sonnet. (I like punishment, but not THAT much punishment.)
Darn it ... now what was that dismembering charm?
Okay. So that wasn't a very mature review, was it? I have an excuse, though ... the vacation has left me in need of a vacation. But this chapter had so many little gems in it. It was either that or I could have sung a stanza of:
Im Hogwarts der ist kein bier.
(Which I understood perfectly of course, being originally from Wisconsin.)
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
The review fits the chapter — Ravenclaws at play. It’s quite funny you consider writing a sonnet crueler than dismemberment.
Oh, that was so funny ... ripping a chapter out of the Malfoy book to say he they had a wider range of acceptable behavior!
Hermann's escapades were well written. I particularly enjoyed the verbal part of the stimulation. While he still has many things to learn, he is certainly learning a few things quite well.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I thought I had written the raunchiest scene this side of consensual. The site editor snickered over it, and you found it titillating. Tough crowd.
I love the introduction of the kata and the two girls going through the routines and fencing with him. It gives Hermann something more to think about, doesn't it?
I wonder if I've said this before in another review... I think the episodic approach is what keeps this story interesting. Every chapter there is something new. And I really like that.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I almost prefaced the chapter with Tyger, Tyger, burning bright In the forests of the night Hermann is not wrong about those two. I still remember blocking out the vignettes as they occurred to me, arranging and rearranging them on the timeline, and working at getting them to come together.
I must say that Hermann is quite in touch with his feelings. I suppose in more ways than one. (I was specificially talking about how he is so in tune with his anger, but I see that it could be interpreted another way as well.) I think Hermann is wise to take advantage of an opportunity when he's presented with one, but the poor boy certainly needs a witch with more ... verve.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I appreciate your continued interest. Yes, you have summed up the points of the chapter: his dealing with his raging emotions, his moral quandary, and his feelings of inadequacy.
Well, it seems that Hermann is getting used to conversing with girls. Honestly, he was mis-housed. He is a true Slytherin. But, I do agree that he has the intelligence to rival the most-intelligent Ravenclaw.
I have become addicted to this story, I hope you are aware.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Yes, that Slytherin-Ravenclaw mix is the main point of the chapter. It's not much of a spoiler to say that it's important for the story.Hermann is marginally better with the girls.I notice you can review without giving away the contents. Very clever. Is that a Slytherin trait?
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
Every time I put on that darn hat, it tosses me into Slytherin. I'm not disappointed. *wink*
There are many readers who read reviews first, which can be like reading the last page of a novel first if reviewers aren't careful. I intentionally try not to give away any spoilers.
I was happy to see a longer chapter. Not only does it give us more insight into the Malfoy family relationship, it gives us more insight into Hermann. Your style of writing also lends a hand to the character development. The more I read, the more I like this story, Fairfield! Keep up the excellent work!
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
I’m glad you liked the chapter, and I thank you for the encouragement. Later sections, however, may disappoint you. If I recall correctly, the order of importance for the ancient Greeks was (1) plot, (2) ideas, (3) character, and (4) diction. I tried a mix. [Yes. I read Aristotle’s ‘Poetics,’ became inspired, and wrote a fanfic.]
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
I am rarely disappointed. I understand that some chapters may develop plot while others develop character or other things. I am a patient girl.
I believe you are the only person I've met who got inspired to write fanfic after reading Aristotle. My goodness. Maybe it's what makes your writing so interesting to me. It could be what gives it that unique flavor.
I kinda hate to see it end. This was really a fun story to read. You gave Hermann such interesting adventures/encounters with Hogwarts as a backdrop. It was nice to see a different perspective--even if it was from an adolescent who was somewhat a Casanova.
And even though Hermann was made up completely, the other "normal" characters were fairly believable. (I hate it when someone writes a story about Harry--or one of the trio--and makes it look like a 16-year old is directing adults and that the adults are just meekly doing what he says.) In short, I think you've done a fine job of writing.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for the perceptive review and kind comments.
The story is finished, and everyone who is going to read it has read it. No reason to worry about spoilers.
Please, tell your friends about the story. Lucius is available. Narcissa does not regard setting a large snake on a student body containing her son as good parenting.
Adult Brit wizard society appears weak in the novels—probably to emphasize Harry’s heroism. Hermann, however, observes Brit wizard society is weak, reasons that Harry is not a social reformer and cannot act beyond society, concludes that Harry will be ineffective or detrimental, and decides to take independent action.
Canon Hermione spouts canon. Since Hermann believes canon is nonsense, he thinks she’s a nutter, and Hermione is left a lonely swot.
Such a beautiful good-bye to all his friends. I felt sort of sad that he was so alone in the end ... but all good things must come to an end, mustn't they?
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
My regards to The Petulant Poetess, the only fan fiction site with the courage and tolerance to publish ‘The Hermann Chronicles.’
Response from notsosaintly (Reviewer)
And you are more than welcome here. I enjoyed the uniqueness of this story and the uniqueness of your style. Thank you, Fairfield, for posting!!
A magical little interlude ... leaves me wondering where they teach Medieval sex charms. Those are quite useful.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
They are quite useful if you’re as capable as Janice Nott … of course you are … just mentioning it. Thanks for the review.
I've been reading this story and find it really funny--and often hot.
There are stories where some of the characters are out of character, but the author won't recognize it. You've done a wonderful job of creating out-of-canon situations and characters--and acknowledging it. Thanks for providing such fun!
I should probably have reviewed more often, but I smile every time I read your work.
Response from Fairfield (Author of The Hermann Chronicles)
Thank you for a perceptive and sympathetic review. Most of the characters are original or minor (who may as well be original). I tried a transformation of Draco. Instead of reacting to Harry, I gave him an independent existence with a supportive mother, a peer as a friend, Quidditch, Potions, and girlfriends. I tried to keep Hermione in canon. Her interactions with Hermann are a clash of personalities and cultures.
Response from janis (Reviewer)
I noticed your transformation of Draco. I have a friend who would have been angry at your sympathetic portrayal of Narcissa--mostly because she fancies Lucius--but it was quite nice to see more about Draco and less about Harry for once. Don't get me wrong, Harry is still the hero in my eyes, but since JKR's stories are basically told from Harry's perspective, it's refreshing to have Draco as a more complex character.
I think you did a good job of keeping Hermione in canon. You made her a swot, had a little competition going (completely believable) and also showed her as being quite logical.
I'm sorry to see the story end, but you're probably right to conclude it the way you have with the next chapter.
--Janis