Confrontation

Chapter 9: 21 October 10:00 AM -- 30 October 4:00 PM – Confrontation

"Have you seen the Hogwarts Greenhouse yet?" asked Shan.

It was after a morning kata practice. Luna wanted to hurry to join Barbara and Shelly for tea and study. Shan and I were putting the equipment away.

"No, I don't even know where it is," I said.

Shan gave me a disappointed look, as if I had confessed to never looking at the stars at night. Since I didn't have anything planned for the morning that I couldn't postpone, I agreed to meet her after I had showered and changed. I would have preferred coffee and Arithmancy, but Shan looked very earnest.

"I've always liked the greenhouse," said Shan.

We were walking through the flowering plants. I supposed Shan was giving me an easy introduction to the delights of botany. I recognized the poppy, a favorite for many potions masters.

"Even when the rest of my life was messed up," said Shan, "I liked the greenhouse and did well in Herbology."

If this was conversation time, I was willing to prompt her. I had assumed a Hufflepuff Prefect had led a nearly perfect life.

"It took me two years to adjust to Durmstrang," I said. "I did okay the first two years, but I didn't really study. For my third year, I decided to apply myself to see what I could do."

"My first year was terrible," said Shan. "I was a problem child. My second year I worked very hard, too hard I think. But by the third year I was more balanced."

We had entered the section of the greenhouse where the value of the plants was in their roots.

"From problem child to isolated swot," said Shan. "The other Hufflepuffs didn't know what to make of me."

Shan stood on a stool to reach a watering can. Why do girls always look attractive when they're standing on a stool reaching for something?

"My sister had fewer problems," said Shan.

"School is good for some people," I said, wondering what kind of family life the Li sisters had.

"That's true," said Shan, smiling. "I think the professors really care about us in their own stern way."

We joined Draco, Barbara, Shelly, and Luna in the Great Hall. Shan for tea and Magical Creatures; I for coffee and Arithmancy. I thought about Shan and Su having a better life at school than with their families.

* * *

Later that day, I turned a corner to discover a confrontation. Vincent, Gregory, Draco, Barbara, and Shelly were facing eight other students. All wands were out. My physical position was several meters behind Draco and company. I dropped my books on the floor, threw my arms into the air and said, "What is this? Why are you people blocking the hall?"

My billowing robe hid that I had drawn my wands. Keeping the several meters distance, I took a circular path around the two groups. In the other group were Luna, Shan, Ginny, Hermione, three Gryffindor boys, and a young Ravenclaw.

When I had flanked and was slightly behind Luna and company, I called out, "Hey you, the boy with the red hair and freckles, are you Ron Weasley?"

"What's it to you?" he replied, facing me.

"It's just amusing," I taunted him. "You're going to die the way you lived, with a stupid look on your face."

That did it. Now Ron and Ginny were facing me. Hermione must have some emotional connection with Ron because she was facing me too. Since I was the last one who spoke, the young Ravenclaw was facing me. Luna and Shan always had been facing me, no doubt wondering if I had a wand kata.

That left the other two Gryffindor boys facing five opponents, and those two Gryffindor boys were distracted because I was behind their backs.

"Where's the Gottverdammt professors! Where's the Gottverdammt professors!" I screamed silently.

Finally, one appeared. It had to be the Head of Gryffindor House. Gottverdammt, again!

"What's going on here! Explain yourselves! Put those wands away!"

"We're having a confrontation," I said.

"I can see that for myself," she snapped. "Ten points from your houses for each one of you."

"If I may," I said, "I think the young Ravenclaw was an innocent bystander caught between us."

"Ten points restored to Ravenclaw," agreed the professor.

"After all," I drawled, "he's not a combative Gryffindor."

The taut nerves of the professor snapped. She turned on me. "Detention, report to Flitwick."

Success, I thought, as I gathered up my books amidst the puzzled looks of the other combatants. Now all I need is a convenient place to lose my lunch.

* * *

The next day, one hour before tea time, Luna and Shan found me in the common room. They were definitely unhappy.

"Hermann," they said, "we've got to talk to you."

We walked down to the lake for privacy.

"Hermann, why did you do that yesterday? Why did you make everyone so mad at you?"

"It was to get the group's attention," I said. "After I insulted Ron, six of you were facing me, and only two of you were facing Draco and the other four."

Shan suddenly stopped and said, "Of course, we were stupid."

"It was 'divide and conquer,'" said Shan to Luna.

Luna said, "But you were facing six people."

Comprehension dawned and Luna said, "That's right. You would have used only defensive spells."

"I wouldn't have lasted very long."

"Long enough," said Shan.

"What would you have done if insulting Ron hadn't worked?" asked Luna.

"I would have done something that would have had all eight of you facing me in total outrage," I said. "My next step would have been to give the two of you a pimple."

"What!"

"Right on the end of your noses."

"Give us a pimple!" they both screamed as they pushed me into the lake.

I was thinking of taking them with me, but I tripped over a rock and splashed into the water.

"Heartless!" I shouted at them. "The squid and the current could take me anywhere. I might not be able to find my way back."

They glowered at me with folded arms.

Lines from an Appalachian folk song came to mind, 'Pretty girls have hearts made of stone; Dark Hollow will be my new home.'

The unfairness of it all hit me between the eyes. "I have drifted for days and days. The fish have eaten my clothes. I'm lost. At last, I spy land. For modesty, I cover myself with a leafy branch."

There wasn't much nearby. I picked up a twig.

"This twig represents a leafy branch," I told them.

"Okay," said Luna, bringing her imagination into play. "That twig represents a leafy branch, and you represent a pathetic wizard."

I stepped out of the water, held the twig in front of my groin, and addressed them:

Oh great Merlin above

Grant swift thoughts

And ready tongue

To this rude traveler

Cast upon these strange shores

The visions now before him

Confirm his long passage

Over the world's vast and briny deep

To a land of beauty and enchantment

Never would such sweet images appear

On the tawdry shores of mortal man

But only in the realms of the gods

Could such fit birds appear

May Merlin grant that their hearts

Are as kind as their faces are flawless

Let their souls melt in pity

As I desperately chat them up

"I vote we throw him back in," said Luna.

But Shan had other ideas:

Nay sister tis an occasion for a boon deed

As the twig cannot hide his shriveled member

His honeyed words cannot hide his base nature

His evil heart doth deserve to be extinguished

Cast back upon the vast and briny deep

He would but drift and prey upon the innocent

He clearly has no higher purpose

Than endless rounds of slap and tickle

Luna agreed with Shan's assessment. Luna suggested a plan:

Then let's away with him to our father's castle

We will feed him the treachery he deserves

When he is gorged with wine

And his member high in hope

We will have our sport at his dismemberment

I considered the options. "I think I'll stay right here in this sodding lake, if you don't mind."

Later, back in the Ravenclaw Tower, I had showered, changed, and was being plied with hot chocolate and biscuits.

"Do you think," said Luna to Shan, "that if we grabbed all the biscuits, he would lapse into free verse at his plight?"

"Creativity under stress," agreed Shan, grabbing the biscuit tin and looking at me. "I want a sonnet."

I could only lament:

Amidst our pleasure

They plot against me

Woebegone am I

To suffer such words

Shan took the biscuit tin, hid behind a chair, and announced, "Hermann will never find me here."

Backlash, I thought. Bunch of silly kids, I thought. Some younger Ravenclaws were pointing at another chair across the room and telling me Shan was behind it. I promised to do dire things to Luna if Shan didn't give up the biscuits. Luna cried out for mercy and swooned.

I looked at Luna sprawled across the couch. Boy, did I look. I decided I was on the wrong side.

"At a time like this," I pontificated to the younger Ravenclaws with my finger in the air, "a handsome hero arrives to save the princess."

I galloped around the room until I found the princess who had fainted away.

"The cure for this is a good snog," I declared. "It's recommended in all the best books."

"Ohhhh," said all the younger Ravenclaws as they crowded around for a good look. I was proud of them. Ravenclaws evince curiosity at an early age.

"Here're your bloody biscuits," said Shan grabbing my arm.

"Wait," I said. "The handsome hero hasn't saved the princess yet."

"Yeah," protested both young and old Ravenclaws. "He's got to save the princess."

"I'll save the princess," said Shan.

"Ohhhh," went all the Ravenclaws, as they jostled each other for a good view.

Shan sat beside Luna, patted her hand, and told her the bad man was gone.

"That was anticlimactic," complained some of the younger Ravenclaws

* * *

When I reported to Flitwick the next day two hours before tea, he wanted to know what I had done and why. After all, this was my first loss of house points and my first detention. I gave him my version.

"Interesting," he said.

He also had an interesting detention for me. He had been in contact with Durmstrang, and they had informed him of my slow initial learning problem. He wanted to see me do Charms now that I had internalized it. I had to start at the very first lesson of the year and perform every spell that had been presented for both classes. He wouldn't let me progress to the next one until I had done the previous one perfectly several times and given complete explanations. We did take a break for tea. I entered the Great Hall for dinner, wrung out and soaked with sweat. Draco, Barbara, and Shelly looked at me with alarm and motioned that I should join them. Barbara and Shelly sat on either side of me, ready to brace me if I fell. Draco sat opposite me, making sure I got everything I wanted to eat. I saw Flitwick at the professors' table assuring the Head of House Gryffindor that I had received a severe detention. Well yes, but also one that included expert tutoring and an excellent review of class material. I noticed, with some satisfaction, that Flitwick looked a little fatigued himself. The Head of House Gryffindor was frowning at me. She didn't entirely approve of a detention that could put a student at the head of the class. A petty, inner voice said that Padma's days of taunting me in Charms was over. Another inner voice reminded me that I was still thinking about Padma, and it was still painful.

John Shovick stood up, looked at me, and boomed out, "Well, Hermann, are you going to hide behind the Slytherins?"

"That's a good idea!" I shouted back. "It's very comfortable here!"

"Draco! No!" cried Barbara and Shelly, standing and putting themselves between John and a wild-eyed Draco.

My reactions were slightly slower. I stood, faced Draco, and said loudly enough for the entire hall to hear, "The prat's not worth it!"

I paused. Nothing happened. I sat down and said, "Has anyone seen the bloody cherry tarts?!"

Draco sat down. Barbara and Shelly returned to their seats. The cry went up from the four of us about getting some bloody cherry tarts. The Slytherins made sure we got them. Jessica Cummings delivered mine personally.

As dinner ended, Luna and Shan came over and sat with us, and then we walked to the Ravenclaw common room holding hands. I protested that I wasn't an invalid. My real protest was that I didn't get to hold hands with Luna and Shan all the time.

* * *

The next day in seventh year charms I got the first question, but Shan was stumped on the second. I jotted the answer on some parchment in front of us. Shan's hand shot into the air for some points.

"It's only a game," I whispered, appreciating Shan's winning smile and bright, predatory eyes.

* * *

There remained Mr. Weasley. Luckily, I saw him when he was with his two friends. He would feel secure enough not to kill me on sight. They could restrain him.

"Good morning, Mr. Weasley," I said.

He was speechless.

"I don't regret insulting you because that was necessary at the time, but I would like to say that I didn't mean what I said."

Mr. Weasley had recovered enough to glare at me.

"I have no reason to think anything bad about you, and I've only heard good things about you. I would be happy if you took that as an apology for what I said."

Mr. Weasley and his two friends looked perplexed. I left.

* * *

Draco and I had made enough progress to apply for several patents, but we had a disagreement. Draco kept telling me that I could have the patents. He was independently wealthy and didn't need the additional income. I kept telling Draco that bad times were coming and secure assets could be a lifesaver, but Draco wouldn't listen. Like all boys, I knew where to go for help. My mother. My mother, yes, would love to visit Mrs. Malfoy, and Mrs. Malfoy, yes, would love to hear about the potion patenting business. Invention was unpredictable. Our patent could be worth much more to a company that had products different from my father's company. Business was unpredictable. The simplest items could be worth the most money. Most important, to Mrs. Malfoy, were continental assets that could not be touched by any government, unless the governments broke the treaties.

Reich sein ist nicht genug, mann musst auch Geld in der Schweiz haben.

No one was interested in the chaos that would follow breaking the treaties, not with the purity and safety of potions at stake. The treaties involving potions, including payment for patents, had survived several global conflicts during the last century. Mrs. Malfoy, unlike her son, realized what catastrophes could occur during a civil war. Draco felt that we had all ganged up on him, and he was grumpy for a while. Mrs. Malfoy, however, wrote Draco a letter that described what had happened. Draco, on the basis of his own talent, without the backing of the wealth and influence of the Malfoy family, while still a student, had added to the wealth and security of the Malfoy family. Mrs. Malfoy was proud of her son.

* * *

The disagreement with Draco was getting out of control. We hadn't worked together or spoken for several days. We snarled as we passed each other in the corridor. It came to a climax one evening at dinner as we were sitting alone at our respective House tables and brooding. It began with a few snippy exchanges and ended with our standing and hurling deadly insults at each other.

"Common Tradesman!"

"Bloody Aristocrat!"

BANG!! BANG!!

BANG!! BANG!!

Draco and I sat down to observe our handiwork. The students were on the floor behind the benches. The faculty were on their feet with their wands out.

I had been showing Draco some of the more exciting parts of elementary mundane chemistry. Take different metals sandwiched between pads soaked with acid. Run wires from the two different metals into water, collect the gas in a sturdy bottle, and cap the bottle. When the bottle is uncapped in front of a flame, the gas in the bottle changes back into a few drops of water, and the air rushing in creates a very satisfactory noise.

The first to recover were Barbara and Shelly who rushed over to Draco to check that he was all right. The second to recover were the faculty who shouted "Detention!" in unison, a Hogwarts first. We might make the history book for that one. There was some disagreement about the nature of the offense. We weren't dueling, and we hadn't used spells or firecrackers. There was no magical or chemical evidence left at all. There were four empty bottles, but what did that prove?

The Potions professor and Flitwick conducted a joint detention where Draco and I demonstrated the chemistry. The other professors evinced a disappointing lack of intellectual curiosity and humor.

The day after the big bang and expansion of life at Hogwarts, Draco and I were mucking out a pen. The Creature professor complained that he couldn't get any of his regular classes to do it properly on account of their fear of being bitten and stung, but it shouldn't be a problem for two students brave enough to pull off the best joke ever right in front of the entire faculty. Draco and I initially suspected sarcasm, but concluded the Creature professor was sincere. He was impressed, and his allowing us into this pen was his way of paying us a genuine compliment. He insisted we have tea with him when we had finished. The Creature professor laughed till tears ran down his face whenever he thought of the mock duel.

We were carting away the last of the muck when we saw two girls approaching. We identified them as the fashion plate Gryffindors.

"Don't they attack you?" asked Lavender and Parvati.

"We stunned a couple of them when the professor wasn't looking," I said.

"You missed the best part," said Draco. "We levitated one of them into the middle of the herd, they had a tremendous row, and since then they've been quiet."

The girls' sympathies turned from us to the creatures. "Oh, the poor things."

Yeah, right. Draco and I offered to help the girls into the pen to comfort the poor things, but the girls didn't want to get their new shoes dirty. They had come to thank us. They had been worried there wouldn't be any excitement this year, and they wanted to know what we were going to do next. Would we tell them? They wouldn't tell anybody. Draco and I, thinking about the pen we had just cleaned, asked them if somebody else would be willing to provide some entertainment.

"But you do it so well," said the girls.

Lavender and Parvati did have one suggestion. They thought we should have provoked a shouting match with Harry Potter. Ginny, Ron, and Hermione would have flocked to Harry's side, and then the four shots would have been for the four Gryffindors. Draco and I admitted that Lavender and Parvati had given the scenario comprehensive and deep thought. By now the combination of animal aroma and perfume fragrance had us inclined to compliment the girls and to entice them into providing us some entertainment. The girls, however, kept to the topic at hand. The topic was that if Draco and I had a sinister plot, then Hermione would spend her time figuring it out instead of driving everybody crazy with study plans. Harry and Ron would scurry around getting into trouble instead of studying, which they hated, and they could stop moping about their romantic lives. Finally, the brave Gryffindors would triumph, gathering many House points and giving everyone immense satisfaction.

"Do you typically manage to do all that?" I asked Draco in genuine admiration.

Lavender and Parvati, in a fit of desperate honesty, admitted that a well-behaved Draco was making everyone confused and nervous. We told Lavender and Parvati that our plans were still at a sensitive stage, and we apologized for the slow fruition of this year's villainy. We didn't want to admit we had no plans because we wanted to see the girls again and perchance whiff their animal aroma with perfume. They were disappointed we didn't share our plans, but said they understood. Draco and I, still under the influence of animal aroma and perfume fragrance, watched the two attractive Gryffindors walk away. We had thoughts about expanding their universe by treating them to a big bang, but had kept it under control.

"Do you ever think about being sorted into Gryffindor?" asked Draco.

"Interesting House," I said.

Draco and I trudged to the tea party sadly singing, "Im Hogwarts der ist kein Bier." The professor heard us, and we had to teach him a stanza in English.

In Heaven there is no beer

So drink it while you're here

When we're no longer here

Our friends will drink our beer

Herr Professor Creature ... thinking about the mock duel, his clean pen, and the drinking song ... told us that we were 'jolly good fellows ... for Slytherins.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Appalacian Folk Song: 'Cora is Gone' by McLeod

Reich sein ist nicht genug, mann musst auch Geld in der Schweiz haben.

It's not enough to be rich, one must also have money in Switzerland