10

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I make no money here.

Many thanks to my beta, dreamy_dragon73, for all her help; she makes it all readable.

Severus strode silently down the lane to his car and drove to the pub, where he grunted at Paddy and Corrine's welcoming greeting and proceeded to lock himself up in his office for the remainder of the morning. He didn't come out until well into the afternoon, even though the work that had piled up in his absence had been dispensed within the first two hours.

The rest of the time had been spent in contemplation until he had managed to convince himself that he had done the right thing. He'd been damaged by his long-held obsession with Lily Evans. He didn't think he was emotionally able to invest himself in a serious relationship...even now all these years later...and probably never would. As Harry had said, it was unfair of him to lead Hermione on, no matter how enjoyable he found her company. He'd only done what needed to be done.

~**~

Hermione spent an hour on the floor, leaning against her front door before she finally dragged herself to her feet, wandered into her bedroom and crawled under the covers. She spent another two hours there, staring sightlessly at the ceiling, feeling sorry for herself before the anger set in. Then, she dragged herself out of bed and into the shower.

By the time she had dressed and finished her first cup of coffee, she was in high dudgeon. Fuck them! She thought. Fuck them all! Snape and Nott and all the other nameless faceless fiancés, boyfriends, dates and 'friends' who had rejected her over the years. Who needed them? Not her, she decided, not Hermione Granger. She was going to live her life on her own terms. She had plenty of good role models of strong, independent women: her mum, Aunt Maeve, Minerva, Molly Weasley. She'd use those examples and make a life for herself; she didn't need a man to have a meaningful life.

Then with a sigh, she deflated as she thought that no, she didn't need a man. But still, it would be nice to have one.

~**~

Three days went by with Severus planning what he would say to Hermione when he saw her before he realized that three days had gone by, and he hadn't seen her. Another four days went by, and he began to worry. Was she all right? She hated to cook, was she eating at all? Was she secluded up at her cottage, ignoring the rest of the world? Should he go up there? Had she left Ireland? Should he contact Harry? Should he mind his own business?

While he was ruminating over these questions, Severus wondered if Paddy had seen her. "Have you seen Hermione at all in the last week, Paddy?" he asked, trying to appear casual.

"Oh sure, Boss, she comes in every couple of days. Saw her at the post office on Monday and over at O'Malley's restaurant the day before yesterday, havin' lunch, and then she was in he..." Paddy suddenly seemed terribly busy, scrubbing the same spot on the bar.

"What? She was in where? In here? When?"

"Well... yeah, Boss. But she only comes in here when..." There was an awkward pause.

"When what, Paddy?"

"When she's sure you're not around. She only comes in here when she knows you aren't workin'. Like on the days you're here for the evening shift and come in late, then she'll come in early for lunch. And when you're here early and go home later in the afternoon, then she comes in for a late dinner."

"So, she's been avoiding me."

Paddy snorted. "I suppose that's true. But it looks to me like you've been avoidin' her as well, haven't you? I couldn't help but notice that ever since you came back from your trip things have changed between you. Now, I don't know what happened, and I don't really care 'cause I'm sure not goin' to be takin' sides."

Severus sighed. "I don't expect you to take sides, Paddy. Things have changed between us. But that doesn't mean I don't worry about her. I'm glad to know that she has been around and not holed up at Bluebell Cottage, isolating herself."

"Well, if you're so darned worried about her, then why don't you go talk to the girl?"

"Because there's nothing else to say."

"Couple of eejits, if you ask me," Paddy mumbled under his breath and went back to scrubbing the bar.

~**~

A week had gone by since that awful day when Severus had informed her he was... he was... he was what? Breaking up with her? They hadn't really been a couple, so could they have a break-up? She didn't think so. And yet they'd spent so much time together over the last six weeks that was what it felt like. Oh, he'd said he wanted to stay friends, but guys always said that, and they never meant it...not really. It was just something they said to girls to make themselves feel better while they stomped all over their feelings.

She'd been actively avoiding him, even though she knew that eventually they were bound to run into each other. She missed him though, missed having him around to talk to, to debate with, to tease, to cook for her. She hadn't realized how un-lonely she'd felt when he was around.

But enough of feeling sorry for herself, she scolded as she opened the Daily Prophet to discover that Mr. Weasley was running for Minister of Magic. This was wonderful news! She wondered why Harry had never mentioned that his father-in-law was considering running for the office. Mr. Weasley would make an excellent Minister. Of course, at this point she'd be happy to see anyone run if they could destroy Theodore Nott's chances. Hell, she'd vote for Voldemort himself if he could beat Theo. Well perhaps, that was stretching it a bit...but not by much.

~**~

In an attempt to keep herself busy and her mind off Severus, Hermione had begun doing some research in earnest. The first project had become close to her heart. While teaching herself to quilt in order to finish Maeve's beautiful final project, she had become fascinated with the craft. She'd begun doing extensive research on the history of quilting, how long the craft had existed, materials used in different parts of the world, and how the styles and patterns varied. It wasn't likely to become a hot bestseller, but it was a topic she found interesting, and there was a market for crafting books...especially in the Muggle world. As Harry had suggested, maybe writing fiction wasn't her strong point...research was, though. When she thought of how she had over-researched every assignment she'd ever been given at Hogwarts, she believed, perhaps, she'd found her niche.

The second project was quite personal. Draco had hinted that eventually they would find a way to get even with Nott somehow, and that had gotten Hermione thinking. Theo had hurt her, but she didn't think his attitude towards her was just because she was a Muggle-born. She thought deep down he had a disdain for women in general. She'd remembered Draco saying how Nott had stolen his ex-fiancée, Astoria Greengrass, then had dumped and publicly humiliated her. She also remembered an assistant at the Ministry he'd fired, claiming the girl had been stalking him. Knowing what she did now, Hermione figured that there was probably more to that story than met the eye. And there was probably a whole list of other women scorned by Theodore Nott. There was a Muggle saying about women scorned, and Hermione had a plan. Theodore Nott would rue the day he'd messed around with her!

~**~

Five days after the announcement in the Prophet about Arthur throwing his hat into the ring for the election for Minister, Severus got an owl from Harry. Now that they had a candidate to run against Nott, the group wanted another meeting to make further plans.

Knowing that it might be difficult for Severus to get away so soon after his last trip, Harry suggested that the group come there. He proposed either Severus' home or the pub, whichever was acceptable to him. Ginny wanted to visit Hermione, so that would keep her out of their hair.

Severus grunted, no worry of that. Hermione hadn't been in his hair, in his house or anywhere near him since that fateful day nearly two weeks earlier when he'd tried to do what he thought was the right thing. He was now having doubts. He'd thought they could somehow maintain their friendship, which he had come to value. But apparently, Hermione seemed to have other ideas as she had gone out of her way to avoid any contact with him ever since.

Although wild hippogriffs could not drag this confession out of him, he missed the blasted girl. He'd spent eight years building himself a solitary, ordinary, boring kind of life, and he'd been happy with it. Ecstatic. After just a few paltry weeks of having her in his life, being without her company now had him feeling wretched.

He grabbed a quill and parchment and quickly scratched out a reply to Harry.

HP:

SS

~**~

On Friday evening, Ginny showed up on Hermione's doorstep, not with Harry, as Hermione had expected, but with Luna.

"Harry and Draco said they are working on a project together, and they needed Snape's expertise," Ginny explained, and she and Luna stepped into the quaint little cottage. "They'll be around later."

Hermione looked shocked. "Harry told you about Severus?"

"Yes, but don't worry, he had Snape's permission. And I promised not to tell anyone, Wizard's oath of honor. Luna here already knew. It seems she saw him when he was visiting the Malfoys a couple of weeks ago."

"Oh yes," said Luna. "I heard the whole story. How the Malfoys saved Professor Snape after the final battle and spirited him off to their home in Tuscany. It took him nearly a year to recover. Mr. Malfoy offered to set him up in a potions business, or whatever he might want to do, but Draco said the professor just wanted to go away somewhere quiet and start a new life. So they helped him purchase the pub here.

"They thought he'd stay a year or two, then get tired of living alone amongst Muggles and come back to England. But apparently, he's happy here."

"Soooo?" Ginny asked, turning to her friend.

"Soooo? What?" Hermione replied.

"So how is it going with Snape? From your owl posts, it sounded like you two were getting pretty friendly." She waggled her eyebrows at her friend. "Then there was hardly any news from you for the past couple of weeks. I figured maybe you two were shacked up here, going at it like nifflers."

"It's over," Hermione informed her friend bluntly.

"Over? What does that mean? How can it be over? It had barely started. How does it move right to over?"

"I. Don't. Know," declared Hermione, throwing herself into a heap on the couch in frustration. "We saw each other every day for weeks, towards the end several times a day. We got along well; we enjoyed each other's company; he was affectionate in a slowly developing kind of way. He cooked for me."

"He cooked?" Luna and Ginny gasped simultaneously, clearly awed by this revelation.

Hermione nodded. "He's a wonderful cook. And he likes doing it. No complaining of, 'Oh do I have to cook again? Isn't it your turn today?' I didn't even have to ask him, he would just do it, willingly."

"That makes sense, being a Potions master. All that chopping and slicing and dicing, it has to come in handy for something," agreed Luna.

"So, tell us what happened. How can it be over?" Ginny demanded.

Hermione explained everything that had happened: getting drunk, him bringing her home. How he showed up with dinner, and things just sort of progressed until they were spending part of every day together. She described what she had taken for gradual signs of affection. "And then about two weeks ago, he had to go away on some kind of personal business. Apparently that's when he saw the Malfoys. Just before he left, we were saying goodbye, and I don't know quite how it happened, but I... err... that is, he... I mean we..."

"Oh, my sweet Merlin! Hermione, you had sex with Snape!" Ginny squealed.

"No! Circe, no. It was just a kiss. But, oh sweet mother of Merlin, what a kiss! I wanted to after that... have sex with him, that is; it was so hot! I think at that point, I probably would have done almost anything he wanted. It's all I thought about for the whole four days he was gone: him coming back so I could kiss him some more."

"So why didn't you?" asked Luna, staring at Hermione.

"I have no idea," said Hermione with a sigh. "Even though I spent four days thinking about finishing that kiss, apparently, he spent four days figuring out how to shove me out of his life. I guess he didn't feel the same things I felt. Maybe, he was disgusted by me, by my reaction to the kiss. Maybe, he thought I came on too strong, too aggressive." She rubbed her hands over face and lamented, "Maybe, Nott's lies have some basis in truth. I just don't seem to be attractive to men, at least not over the long haul. I somehow drive them away eventually...every single time. I don't mean to, it just happens. Maybe I do bat for the other team."

Luna studied her closely for a moment, then leaned in and kissed her soundly on the lips.

"Luna, eewwww! What the hell was that?" shrieked Hermione, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Ginny just stared wide-eyed and snickered nervously.

"Just checking," responded Luna, seriously. "Did you like that? Do you want to do it again?"

"No! I'm sorry, Luna. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but no I don't."

"Oh, okay. Then I guess you probably don't...bat for the other team, that is."

"Do you?" asked Ginny, curiously.

"Oh no, I like boys mostly. But I just wanted to help Hermione decide how she felt."

All three stared at each other for a moment; Ginny started chuckling first, then Luna snorted and Hermione giggled. In an instant, they were all laughing so hard they couldn't stop. Finally, they all sagged together on the couch in a tangle of arms and legs, each holding her stomach because they'd laughed so hard it ached.

Suddenly, Ginny sat straight up and asked Hermione, "When exactly was it that Snape backed off so suddenly?"

"Two weeks ago, right after he came home from his trip back to England. Why?"

Ginny gulped. "I think I might have an idea what could have happened."

Hermione looked her in the eye. "So, spill it."

"Harry."

"I don't get it, what's Harry got to do with it?"

"A little over two weeks ago Harry was all worried about your notes, about how much time you were spending with Snape. He kept saying that he was worried you might get hurt again, and that he didn't think Snape would ever commit to a woman, based on his past history.

"Hermione, I think he must have confronted Snape."

Hermione stood up abruptly. "Where is he, Gin? Where is he right now? Because I'm going to kill Harry Potter!"

tbc