Chapter 41

They woke the next day to return to work and their lives at Hogwarts. That night, Hermione came to him as he sat in his chair by the fire. She took the book he was reading from his hands and set it on the table next to him and climbed into his lap.

"Severus, the memory," she implored him. "Can we watch it, please?"

He put her off of him and went to stand by the fireplace. "Hermione, I'm not sure I can do that. You have no idea what kind of man I was. If I lusted after you, it was probably not a pretty thing. Dreams are often distorted things at the very least." He rested his forehead on the mantel. "Don't ask me, Hermione, please. Maybe it's best left forgotten."

Hermione came and placed her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace. "Severus, if it was such a horrible thing, you wouldn't have saved it and you and Dumbledore wouldn't have placed a trigger on it so that you could remember someday. My love, you are worried about nothing. I promise you, it will be a good thing. I believe that with all my heart."

Severus looked into her eyes and could see she was in earnest. One way or another, she would eventually see the memory. He was curious, and her argument made sense. Why had he kept it? He nodded and went to his lab, and she followed.

He stood looking at his desk for a time and then bent down and touched a hidden latch. A tiny drawer, magically hidden, popped out. Inside was one vial of silver memory. He picked it up and stared at it. His hand shook, and Hermione covered his fingers with her hands.

"It will be okay," she assured him. "Come on, Severus. Let's go watch it." She pulled him from the lab and through the classroom to his office. As she held the memory in her hands, he took the Pensieve from its place and put it on the corner of his desk.

He took the vial from her hands, removed the stopper, and poured it into the obsidian bowl. He reached out and took her hand and squeezed it. "Remember, it was a long time ago. I have changed because you love me, Hermione." They plunged their faces into the bowl.

Music, light, and noise disoriented them for a moment, and then the picture swirled into place and focused. From their point of view, they were deep in a black shadow of a Hogwarts corridor near where stairs led up to the Gryffindor Tower. On the stairs, they heard Hermione cry, "Ron, you spoil everything!" Then she crumpled on to the stairs in tears, pulling her shoe off her sore foot.

Severus of the dream stepped forward from the dark shadow and held out his hand, "Miss Granger, dance with me?"

She looked up surprised and wide-eyed, and then a shy smile touched her face, vanquishing her tears. She slipped her shoe back on and reached out and placed her hand in his. He drew her to her feet, pulling her down the few stairs, and then tucked her arm into his and led her into the ballroom. It was empty save for an orchestra, and a waltz began. Severus swung her into his arms, and they moved fluidly around the room. The observer Hermione felt his emotional delight as the dream Hermione smiled up at him and held his eyes as they moved. Their bodies slid against each other every now and then. She could feel the warmth and heat of her hand in his. His hand at her waist held her lightly. "You are beautiful tonight, Miss Granger."

"Hermione," she whispered.

"Her... mione," he choked back.

She gave him a dazzling smile.

Severus seemed stunned by her obvious enjoyment at being there with him. His heart surged forth with warmth, and he held her just a bit closer. She was so tiny in his arms; the top of her head came only to the middle of his chest.

"You do not need those dunderheads; they are still children. You, on the other hand, have so much intelligence and drive. You will go far." He seemed to force the next words and seemed astonished that the thoughts had even formed in his mind. "Were I a little younger, or you a little older, and this was a different world, the things I would teach you."

She seemed touched, and her hand tightened in his. "You only have to ask it of me, sir. I would do anything for you."

Severus brought them to a halt and cupped her face with his hands. He bent and pressed his lips to her forehead in a soft, gentle kiss. "Off to bed with you." Releasing her, he took his wand and flicked it at her, and her eyes glazed over.

"You will not remember this; it would only endanger you. Thank you for the tiny respite from the horror my life is," he whispered as he sent her off to bed.

The scene changed, and they found themselves standing in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was walking back and forth, and Severus was sitting in a chair before the desk with his face in his hands.

"Severus, I'm not sure why this disturbs you so much. It was a dream. It wasn't something you did. We can't all control dreams. You had a long, late night, and being called to Voldemort's side in the middle of the night left you with nearly no sleep for several days. You felt sorry for the girl; she was left crying on the stairs."

"It was bloody Granger. She's a child. What was I thinking? She's Potter's little sidekick... If Voldemort looks into my thoughts and sees this, he can use her against Potter. I will not have her put in this position. Have I not done enough damage to the boy already? He depends on her. He needs his wits about him if he is to accomplish all you have set before him."

"Your concern for Harry is admirable, Severus. But you despise the boy. Why don't you admit it? You admire the girl's intelligence and perhaps saw how lovely she looked last night."

"Don't be ridiculous! She's a bloody Gryffindor know-it-all."

Dumbledore asked, "Then why are you so rattled by this? You did nothing wrong, Severus. It was an innocent thing."

"She's a child, Albus, a child. I have done many terrible things in the service of Voldemort, but finding a child attractive is not one of them."

Dumbledore turned to stand before him. "There is not a teacher in this world who has not admired a student's beauty at one time or another. It does not mean they would act on it. Your intentions were just to make her smile, and you did. Did your body betray you?"

Severus looked shocked. "No!" He stood and his fists were clenched. "What do you take me for?"

Dumbledore smiled, and his eyes twinkled. "I take you for the honorable and decent man that you are, a man only I get to see." He turned and picked his wand up from the desk. "However, if this concerns you so much, I will remove the memory, and you can store it. I can place a block on it so you will not remember ever having the memory removed unless you one day find yourself in the position to reveal it to Miss Granger."

"Unlikely," Severus spat.

"One never knows, Severus; stranger things have happened in this lifetime." The old man raised his wand, and Severus' face went blank.

Astonishingly, there was more, this time from Albus' point of view. "Severus, as I remove this, I will also place a spell on you. You might grow to hate me for it, but I happen to know that Miss Granger has a healthy crush on you. Minerva has told me she confided concerns about her feelings for you. I will weave a spell about you both, and if and when the times comes that your life will be forfeit, this spell might save your life and give you a future you so deserve, my son."

The memory faded, and Hermione and Severus pulled their faces from the Pensieve. Hermione watched in silence as Severus gathered the memory and returned it to his mind. He took her hand, and they then went into their quarters.

"It was beautiful, Severus," she whispered.

Severus nodded, overcome with relief and unable to speak for fear he'd cry. He picked her up and carried her to their bed and gently made love to her. They fell asleep, holding each other tightly.

*****

Severus returned to working with Filch for now and tutoring the boys in the afternoon, helping them catch up on the studies they had missed. He found he enjoyed teaching the other subjects as much as Potions. He would start teaching the DADA class in a month. For now, he substituted on occasion. Having a competent sub allowed the other teachers to feel free to ask for more time off for things they'd always struggled to do on the weekends. Severus found the work interesting, and he also found he enjoyed the students far more than he ever would have expected.

As the next two weeks passed, he began to think more and more of Lucius. He knew he would have to ask Hermione if she was okay with him going to visit Lucius...not only visit but also try to help him return home. He understood more of his friend's desperateness, and yet the idea of making his wife angry with him right now made him uncomfortable. She was starting to have the general queasiness of a woman expecting, and he didn't want to put any more stress on her. She had seemed to accept the idea when they'd last spoken of helping him; but when faced with the reality, would she feel okay within her heart, and would she tell him if she wasn't?

One evening he sat in his chair before the fire, sipping a small glass of wine. He was staring into the fire and had been for probably an hour. He felt Hermione slip her hand over his shoulder and around his neck, and then she slipped into his lap. He smiled and set his glass down on the table by the chair and held her close.

"Severus, what's wrong? You've been moody and brooding for days." She ran her fingers through his hair.

He smiled a little at her. "I'm sorry, I have been contemplating visiting Lucius again," he told her frankly. "I have been worried about upsetting you."

Hermione smiled a little sadly. "Severus, I agreed you should help him. We talked about this. You shouldn't be afraid to talk to me about it."

He ran two fingers over her cheek. "I was not really afraid. I am just concerned for your state of health right now. I don't want to put any stress on you."

Hermione hugged him, and her eyes teared up a bit. He's such a dear man. He would never admit fear. "Severus, I'm pretty tough, and I don't mind you visiting him. If you think he needs a few things to make his life comfortable..."

"Hermione..." He put her on her feet and went to stand by the fire, his voice bitter. "I wouldn't leave a dog in that place. The conditions are nowhere even close to adequate for civilized people. They don't even supply basic needs. He had a bucket to relieve himself in and a threadbare blanket in a freezing cell. He was riddled with lice. He hadn't been bathed in weeks...maybe months...because he was too weak to get up and do it. The food is nearly non-existent. He might eventually starve to death. I'm not sure anyone deserves that."

Hermione wasn't so sure. There had been Death Eaters who deserved a lot less. They had committed atrocities during the war. But she had to agree that a prisoner deserved at least the bare essentials to live and not be frozen, beaten, or starved to death. Being locked up was punishment enough. Prisoners rarely saw each other. That had to be torture. She came and slipped her arms around him.

"Then you must work to help them, if that's how you feel. I will be your biggest supporter. They should at least be given food enough to sustain their bodies, blankets, books, and writing materials."

He leaned in and buried his face in her hair. "I do love you. Thank you for understanding."

"When will you go?" she asked, pushing him back into the chair as she climbed on his lap.

He smirked at her, and the corners of his mouth came up a bit. "Tomorrow. I need to assess the situation there and then prepare some information to bring to the Ministry."

"Kingsley will listen to you. As an Order member, he will be on your side, Severus."

"I certainly hope so. But you know this will not be easy, Hermione. There are many people who will see this as betrayal from me, again. They will accuse me of helping my fellow Death Eaters, assuming there are any left alive after this many years. There are victims and victims' families that will not care if those people starve to death or are beaten to death. They would do the same to me."

"Oh, God, Severus. I cannot bear you being in danger again." She hugged him closer, trembling against him.

He pushed her back a little. "This is what I feared. You're getting upset, and I cannot allow that to happen. You and our baby mean more to me than everything else in this world."

She took a deep breath and the trembling stopped. "I will be okay. I trust you to do what's right. We are, after all, at Hogwarts, and we are pretty safe here. And we can stay here all year if need be. You've proven many times that you can survive the un-survivable."

He had to stop himself from trembling. He was taking a step away from his happy, sheltered life and going back into a world where not many people would welcome his ideas. He only wished for basic needs; he did not want to carpet the cells or give them feather beds. He just wanted them to be treated better than an unwanted animal. He hoped people would understand that and support him, yet he knew that might not happen. He only hoped that Hermione wouldn't have to deal with the flack their own people would give him.

*******

The next day Severus worked with Filch in the morning and then Apparated to Azkaban in the afternoon.

The salt spray whipped around him. He carried a small pack with him. He stepped up to the guard's gate and was glad to see that is was Grimmley Hinckernill. "I would like to see Lucius Malfoy, Mr. Hinckernill," he said.

"I thought you'd be back." The old man came from the guard gate and waved him in to the search area. Severus stood as he was told as the man checked him over with his wand and then patted him down. He locked Severus' wand away and then checked the contents of the bag Severus was carrying. "What's in these here bottles?" he asked, holding up a couple potion vials.

"They are vitamins and blood replenisher for strength. The food here is not really conducive for good health. Tell me, sir, how do you live with yourself in this place? These people live in conditions worse than farm animals."

Gimmley stared at him, and his eyes became angry. "I do my job; it feeds me own wife and puts a roof over our heads. I have no power here. I only do what I'm told to, sir."

Severus, holding his hand up to stop the man's tirade, replied, "I do not wish to offend you, sir. But I will have you know that I will bring your bosses to light with the ministry. They need to know that this is unacceptable...even for criminals. At very least, they need to provide adequate food, basic warmth, and cleanliness. We do their victims no service if they do not live long enough to serve out their sentences."

The old man gulped and nodded. "It might lessen me nightmares if you were successful, Mr. Snape. You get the Order in on this, and I will be right at your side."

"That is an excellent idea. Do you think the Order would stand behind me?" Severus asked, wondering why he hadn't thought of that. Maybe it was because a certain little witch in his lap was always distracting him with her touch.

"You're a respected man, sir. They would at least hear you out, I reckon." Grimley turned to unlock the large gate behind him, and Severus followed him up the hall to the stairs. The place hadn't changed much in the last weeks. It still reeked and was probably even dirtier. There was no excuse for the filth with the use of magic. Granted the whole place was under a dampening field. Were the guards and caretakers just so lazy that they would not do their jobs? Severus smirked nastily. The Ministry might not like him very much when he was through, if they did not listen to him. This could not go on. He stopped to glance into the small port window of another cell and blanched. The man was clearly dead. No one had taken his body away. The small offerings of food he'd been given the last week still sat close to the trap door at the bottom when Severus checked.

"Grimley, this one's dead." His eyes flashed angrily, and Grimley cringed and said, "I only came back after a week with a sickness. I have not had time to check on everyone yet. I will inform the warden."

"Inform him that I wish to speak with him as soon as possible," Severus told the man.

Grimley unlocked Lucius' cell and ushered him in. His face was full of fear. He could feel the anger radiating off Severus.

The door clanged behind Severus, and he wondered if he would be allowed out. This place was clearly run by sadists.

Dismissing the guard for now, Severus turned to find Lucius sitting in his chair. His friend had fallen asleep reading one of the fairy tale books that Severus had left behind during his last trip. He studied his friend's face. He looked a bit better than he did the last time. His hair was still gray, but it was brushed in long, straight locks as he'd always worn it. He looked cleaner than he had the last time Severus had visited. The potions and vitamins he'd left were obviously working, since Lucius had a bit more color is his pale cheeks, and he'd gained some weight. He touched the wizard's shoulder. "Lucius," he called.

Lucius opened his eyes. "Severus, I was just dreaming about you." He sat up a bit straighter, and the mere hint of a smile formed on his now-lined face. "Remember that meadow where we chased that heriboar?'

Severus sat on the edge of the cot, which was fixed to the wall. The blanket he'd brought was carefully folded at the end. He grinned, "You ended up covered in mud."

"But we got him, didn't we? And we cooked him, and he was the best meal I'd eaten in days in that godforsaken forest."

"Yes, it was a good meal." He turned to open his bag. He unrolled a package and produced a dozen or so pieces of dried meat. "This is not boar, but nonetheless I think you will like it." He handed the thick piece of meat to Lucius, whose eyes had gotten big with hunger.

The man grabbed the piece and tore into it. Another one followed before Severus stopped him. "You will be in pain if you do not go slow. Make them last a week." He showed Lucius the potions and some other chewable dried beans and seeds he'd brought. He last produced a journal and a Muggle modified crayon. With magic, he'd thinned it and hardened it. It would not be considered strong enough for a weapon, but it would last a long time and allow Lucius to record his thoughts.

Lucius took the volume and held it close to his chest. "Thank you. It will give me something to talk to."

Severus nodded. "That was the idea."

Lucius sneered, "I have become as a little girl, Dear Diary." His voice was bitter. He put the journal down on the table, but Severus noted his fingers rest on the cover gently.

"You must do whatever it takes to remain sane here, Lucius. I have spoken to Hermione, and she has agreed to let me work to make things easier here for all the inmates."

Lucius eyes got bigger. "She would do that, after what I did to her? Even you, Severus, why haven't you poisoned me with your vitamins? In the past, you would have killed me where I stood for touching your wife in the manner that I did."

Severus stood and paced the cell. "You're right," he said. "I have changed. Hermione's love, goodness, and gentleness have changed me. The fact that I'm no longer indentured to Dumbledore or Voldemort has changed me. I doubt my sins are any less than yours, Lucius, and yet I walk free, a hero in some people's eyes."

Lucius nodded. "You did your duty to the wizarding community while I chose power. After Voldemort died, I wanted to take over. I thought I could run the organization. Riches and power clouded my thoughts. I contemplated it very seriously. Narcissa, afraid for Draco and our lives, begged and begged me not to. I ignored her. I had gathered some followers..." His voice trailed off, and Severus could see tremendous pain on the man's face. "Severus, she was not sick. She killed herself. Because of me..."

Lucius dissolved into great, wracking sobs. Severus reached out and grasped his shoulder and let him know he was there for him. He had always known that no matter what Lucius had become, his love for Narcissa was his existence. He was horrified for his old friend. No wonder the man had spiraled down into the wretched drunk he'd become."

"I'm sorry, Severus," he finally sobbed. "I could not stand to see your happiness with Hermione. I could not stand to feel so betrayed, so lost without Narcissa. My friend and wife betrayed me. Something broke inside me when I realized you were still alive. I wanted revenge, and you were the only one left to mete it out on. I am quite glad you stopped me from harming your wife."

Severus reached out with his mind...a probe for feelings, not reading actual thoughts. Without a wand, this was all he could manage. He didn't even ask for permission; he probed Lucius' mind for the emotion of lies or truth, and he found only truth there. He sat back and then stood.

"I am sorry for your terrible loss. I am sorry for leaving you to Voldemort, but you never gave me any indication until the last battle that you did not want what he wanted."

"It was a role I played as well as your role of spy. Survival was paramount to me, survival for my wife and child." He looked down into his hands. "I killed her. My ambition killed her as sure as if I'd strangled her with my bare hands."

"Lucius, looking back only destroys the future. Let it go and forgive yourself. Draco is a fine, hardworking man, and Scorpius is a genius with potions. You have a lot to be proud of. Narcissa made her own choices."

"I could not look Draco in the face after I told him his mother had been sick and that she'd concealed her illness. I lied to my only son and then tried, out of bitterness, to shape Scorpius into the kind of man I thought I should be...one of power and hate. I'm forever in your debt for saving him and proving to him that he can be a good wizard."

Severus rose from the cot. "I must get back to Hermione. She is going to have a baby, and she frets over me when I am gone."

Lucius stood and held out his hand. "Thank you, Severus. I'm happy for you. Please ask Draco to come see me. I have some apologies to make, and I need to tell him the truth."

Severus shook Lucius' hand, grasping it warmly for a moment, and then turned to the door calling out into the wards.

It took Brimley a while to come, and Severus was beginning get nervous when the man appeared.

He turned to nod to Lucius and found the man watching him with a curious look. "Afraid I was going leave you here?"

He nodded, and with an apologetic smile, he slipped through the door.

Grimmley said, "Sorry, I sent Farthington to the Warden's office to ask if he had time to see you. I wanted an answer before I came here to fetch you."

"And?" Severus asked.

"He agreed but asked you to come back tomorrow. He's in a meeting."

They had traveled down the hall, and Severus was relieved to see the cell with the dead man was open, empty, and clean.

Severus nodded. It would give him time to research the man. When he was once more outside and in possession of his wand, he bid Grimley goodbye and Apparated to the Ministry's back entrance. He made his way into the great hall for the first time in years. Little had changed. He used the Floo to send Hermione a note about where he was and proceeded to the archives. When he had spent several hours gathering information on Azkaban's warden, he went to see if Arthur was back at work. He found him in a small office on the fourth floor.

"Severus!" Arthur called out excitedly, getting to his feet. His hand reached out to shake Severus' hand.

"Arthur, I was taking a chance you might be here. I know you hadn't worked in quite sometime." He took the chair in front of the desk. It was a tiny office. Their chairs were pressed against opposite walls.

"I'm on half days. I still tire easily, but I'm getting so much better. My office isn't much, but they promised to move me up soon. I guess my replacement has been doing a good job." He seemed embarrassed.

"Take it slow. Your body needs time to recover its energy. At least you still have a job."

Arthur nodded, grateful for his words. "How can I help?"

Severus told him about the conditions in Azkaban and what he hoped to do.

"Are you sure you want to bite into this rotten apple, Severus? Even some of the Order will have trouble with it. Many lost friends and family to the Death Eaters."

"Actually, I did some research today. There are only a few Death Eaters alive in that place. Lucius is in there because of what he did to Hermione. There are only two others alive because they have family willing to bribe a few guards to get food and clothing into the prison. The rest died of starvation and beatings. The other prisoners are violators of some crime or another." He told him what he has seen during his visits.

Arthur sat up a bit straighter, and his eyes flashed with anger. "I had no idea it was so bad there. Frankly, I don't think of that place much. I never had anyone I knew well go there. I guess I, like so many others, I assumed that it wasn't so bad since the Dementors were no longer there to torture prisoners."

"It's bad." Severus sat back in his chair.

Arthur groused, "What the bloody hell is Sartoff doing up there? He gets paid a fortune for that job. I will look into the funds that the prison gets and find out if he has the money for any better care of the prisoners. Frankly, Severus, it's quite possible that it has just slipped through the cracks here. No one wants to think about Azkaban."

"Well someone needs to think about it. Sentences for small crimes that should take people a few years to serve are costing them their lives, and no one knows or cares."

He sat forward. "Do you think the Order would be willing to take up this cause? I know for a fact that Muggle prisons even have Tele and game courts. They allow prisoners to get an education." He sat back and watched emotion play across his old acquaintance's face.

Arthur finally said, "All we can do is ask. I doubt anyone would go for Wizarding game courts."

Severus smirked. "I'm not suggesting that. Muggle prison privileges are ridiculous. What I am suggesting is clean cells, clothing, and enough warm food to keep a man reasonably healthy. Perhaps prisoners could have a book or two, to occupy the mind. Nothing more...after all, prison is meant to be a punishment."

"I agree with you," Arthur said, and then he asked, "What's happening with you now?

"Minerva asked me to take her place next year when she retires. I told her I would, but the final decision will be up to the board," he told the man.

"That's excellent. You may not know this, but Molly and I are on the board. You'll definitely have my vote."

Severus nodded. "Thank you, Arthur. Hermione and I are very excited about the possibilities. I may be speaking out of turn here, and she might get angry with me, but I'd like you to know that she is pregnant."

"Severus!" Arthur cried. He jumped from his chair and came to give a surprised Severus a hug.

Severus stood, bracing himself, not sure what that might feel like. Hermione and Poppy were the only people who routinely touched him. He'd been making an effort to be a little more comfortable with the boys. Minerva had touched him over the years, but it had always been very brief. Arthur grabbed him in a tight hard hug that was brief, and he got a hearty clap on the back. A man's hug. Severus smiled down at him when he stepped back.

"I'm happy for you and Hermione, Severus. That's one amazing woman to capture your heart. You deserve happiness. You gave life back to Molly and me. I wish there was some way to repay you."

"No payment is necessary, Arthur. It is what people do for each other in this new brave world we are trying to build." He stepped back to sit in his chair as Arthur took his again. "I do have a request, not as payment but as a favor to ask, for Hermione's sake."

Arthur sat forward. "Of course, anything we can do."

"Hermione wants to have our bonding ceremony in your garden. Do you think Molly would help her?"

Arthur's face lit with rapture, and he rubbed his hands together. "Oh boy, would she. She will be over the moon when she hears about this. She's been wracking her brains to figure out something she can do for the two of you and those boys. Imagine a Malfoy helping us."

Severus smiled. "Yes, imagine that. It is a brave new world. You have no idea how much that boy has changed and how much this project meant to him. He was on a serious road to destruction, and this gave him a belief in himself he didn't have. Arthur, I was saved by care and love. I want to do that for other people at the school and at Azkaban. People should not be thrown away because they made bad choices. They should be given choices, as I once was by Albus. They need choices that give them lives worth living. We have to make the choice of good magic as seductive as dark magic. We need to give those teetering on the edge of darkness a choice for good. Maybe that should be the theme we present to the Order. If we show those prisoners mercy, they might show mercy back." He stood. "I will step off my platform for now and go back to my very anxious wife."

Arthur stood, and they stepped the few feet to the door.

Severus shook the older wizard's hand and said, "Thank you for your time. Please let me know when and where the Order will convene, and Hermione and I will be there."

"I will, Severus. Thank you so much for giving me back my life and my Molly. That was the worst of it, watching her suffer."

Severus nodded. "I understand that now. Good wives are hard to find. I think we have two of the best." He gave Arthur's back a parting pat and turned away.

Arthur smiled, watching the Potions master walk away. "Will wonders never cease, Severus Snape is going to be a father." He turned, eager to share his news with Molly. His little office didn't seem so dingy now.

---

Lisa, thank you for your beta work.

WriterMerrin, thank you for pointing out some flaws that needed fixing in the story line.