Chapter Sixteen: Confusion and Comfort

(i) The characters and world of Harry Potter are the property of J.K. Rowling. I make no money from this.

(ii) Thank you for the lovely, lovely reviews. Please, please do continue to let me know what you think of the story.

(iii) A big hug of gratitude to my beautiful beta, Queen_of_Stars.

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Hermione was very confused. Even as she danced with Harry and smiled at the watching media, all she could think was, Professor Snape is attracted to me. Me. Professor Snape had a hard on. I felt it. Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

She was rather good at analysing her own feelings, and she realised first of all that she liked his attention. She had not thought she could feel anything but admiration and respect for a man so much older than herself, but when he had made that bold move to show her how much she had affected him, she had felt the thrill of it right down to her toes. It was like nothing she had felt before. With Victor at the Triwizard Tournament, she had felt beautiful, but it was a pale thing compared to the way Professor Snape's gaze made her feel. Aren't I supposedly a prude? Everyone, well, Ron and the boys at Hogwarts think so. Then how come I liked him touching me? I did, I really did like him stroking my back, breathing in my scent. I wanted to touch him too. I did touch him. I ran my fingers through his hair and touched the back of his neck. Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Now I'm hyperventilating. This is ridiculous. Chastising herself, Hermione shook her head at her own foolishness and smiled brightly at Harry.

Her smile seemed to reassure Harry, who was looking a bit worried since she'd done nothing but dance with him silently. "Everything okay, 'Mione?" he enquired softly.

"Yes, Harry. Just thinking about the events of tonight," she said, trying to grin cheerfully. Then, she went back to her whirling thoughts and analysis mode. Initially, she realised it had all been a game. She had compared his flirtatious behaviour at the Victory Ball to his spying, and she hadn't thought his flirting was anything more than just an act. To find out he was really aroused was fascinating, exhilarating and terrifying.

Hermione was unsure of how to react. Should she pursue the relationship since she knew Cissy and Astoria thought she would suit him? But he was Professor Snape, and even though he had touched her, he still called her Miss Granger. It was most confusing. And Harry, Harry would be appalled. Besides, thought Hermione, isn't Professor Snape supposedly in love with Harry's mother?

Knowing she needed a woman to talk to and knowing she could not really go retrieve her parents until she was sure she could undo the memory charm, the only option was Narcissa. So once she'd finished her two, surprisingly almost silent, dances with Harry, she kissed him on the cheek and sent him back to Ginny with a grin. Then, she made her way over to Cissy, who was chatting with Lucius and Draco. Severus had been dragged back onto the dance floor by Minerva, who insisted it was good to show how Severus was welcomed and revered by the members of the Order.

"Cissy, would you like to go to the loo?" asked Hermione. She really needed to speak to Narcissa without the Malfoy men.

Cissy immediately realised something was up. "Of course, it would be a good time to check our make-up."

When they were in the loo, Hermione cast locking, silencing and privacy charms and then said, "Something's happened."

"Oh, my dear. What is it?" asked Narcissa in concern.

"I think Professor Snape likes me, and I think I like him, but I'm not sure really. I feel all hot and strange and." She stopped. "I know I sound foolish, but I've never really felt like this before."

Cissy was amused, but she didn't let it show. "My dear, is it so bad that you find him attractive? He is an attractive man after all, and now that he's not forced to play the bastard all the time, unless he really wants to, he can be quite charming."

Hermione said, "I know. I'm just worried that he will tire of playing with me, and I'll end up getting my heart broken. I'm so much younger than he is. I'm not sophisticated like other girls my age. Besides, isn't he still in love with Harry's mother?"

"Lily?" asked Narcissa in surprise. "I thought he got over her years ago." She smiled softly at the clearly bewildered young woman. "You are young, but you are not foolish. Just because you don't try to ensnare men or know how to play the mating game is not a negative, Hermione; that's your strength. Can you imagine him with someone like Pansy Parkinson?"

Hermione giggled and nodded, taking that in. Her face broke into a grin as she tried to picture Professor Snape with the tart, Pansy. Then, her face grew serious once more, and she went on anxiously, "He'll never like my family. He'll say they are small-minded, pretentious and petty. He'll especially find my grandfather vulgar; everyone else does. I'm not prejudiced, but my family is so weird. Muggles can be prejudiced too you know. My parents ....Oh, how can I explain it?"

Hermione twisted her hands together in agitation and bit her bottom lip. Finally, she sighed. "My parents have always been very prejudiced. They've always insisted that I only marry someone they approve of, you know, class wise. Money never mattered, but class did, does. That's why although they liked Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, they didn't really encourage me to go out with Ron. He's never fit in with what we do as a family: the skiing holidays that I've never gone to, the dancing and riding classes I've been forced to take every summer. We are proper, solid, upper-middle class. My mother is from a very old family. Her grandfather lost all their money gambling, so her mother was forced to marry into the nouveau riche – his family had made their money in the First World War, shipping." Hermione sniggered at what she thought was her family's foolishness.

Hermione's snigger reminded Narcissa of Severus so strongly that it nearly made the older witch laugh out loud. Interesting. I wonder if she realises how much she looks like him sometimes. It's obvious she's learned much more than Potions from him. Narcissa smiled wickedly. She was going to enjoy seeing Hermione and Severus come together.

Hermione continued, "My father is the youngest son of a younger son, but we've got second cousins and third cousins who have country estates and a distant uncle who is a peer of the realm. I know my parents always thought I would eventually come back to the Muggle world, go to university at Oxford or Cambridge, meet a boy from a proper family and settle down."

Cissy smiled. "Severus Snape can't object. If he does, he's just being his usual boorish self, so don't mind him. His family is no better. Yes, the Princes had money, still have money, but his father was a mill worker in Manchester. Severus grew up poor and hungry; it was only Hogwarts and his desire to fit into Slytherin society that made him learn to lose the Mancunian accent and refine his speech. His background is not dissimilar to yours. He has upper to upper-middle class connections, but with enough vulgarity thrown in to make it hard for easy acceptance into good society. He's had to make his own way in the world. His family didn't do him any favours, my dear. I don't think you need to worry. You are not your family, and you are not living in the Muggle world. You are living in the Wizarding one, and here, we have different issues. Besides, if you like him, then that's what matters most, isn't it? Surely, if you are correct, and he does like you, then will he not forgive you your vulgar, petty relatives if you forgive him his weaknesses?"

Hermione blushed. "I know I'm over-reacting, but I've only ever liked Victor and Ron, and it never felt anything like this. I've never felt so confused. I had to talk to you; there's no one else. If my mother were here, I'd go to her, and she would have helped me deal with my feelings."

Narcissa smiled. "Come here," she said, opening her arms to the girl.

Hermione stared in shock for a moment before hugging Cissy and taking comfort from her motherly embrace.

Narcissa held her new Muggleborn friend and felt her heart ache. This was the way she would have held her own daughter if she had been blessed with one. She would have advised her daughter thus if she had been fortunate enough to have more children other than Draco. Her voice was filled with love as she spoke gently, "All will be well. You look beautiful. Go out, have a wonderful time at the ball and don't worry. If something develops with Severus, then all I can say is that you are well matched intellectually, socially and in temperament."

"Thank you," said Hermione. "I really needed someone to put things in perspective for me."

Narcissa thanked all the goddesses and gods in silence as she helped Hermione repair her make-up and touch up her lip gloss. She felt she did not deserve to be seen as a surrogate mother of such a genuine, honest young woman. If the Dark Lord had won, Hermione would have been exterminated like so much unwanted vermin. Grateful beyond words, she knew that she and her family were very fortunate that Potter had seen to the demise of the Dark Lord once and for all.

Arm in arm, the two witches rejoined the Slytherin group that was standing on the edge of the dance floor.

Narcissa and Lucius shared a moment of silent communication before Lucius said, "Come, Hermione, let's cause another stir in the media." As Hermione blushed, he took her hand and led her gracefully onto the dance floor.

Immediately, a buzz of conversation could be heard. Lucius Malfoy dancing with a Muggleborn was unheard of. "Smile," he said pleasantly, his own countenance that of a predator shark, his mouth stretched wide in a sardonic smirk. "Skeeter is dying of jealousy, and you can't tell me you won't enjoy seeing her cut down to size."

Hermione giggled. "Indeed, Lucius, seeing Skeeter cut down to size is one of my most ardent pleasures."

Lucius chuckled. "It is a pity Wizarding Britain has only one newspaper, though I suppose you'll tell me that The Quibbler qualifies too."

Hermione smiled again. "Well, it was the only one that was willing to print the truth about Voldemort and Harry." As soon as she spoke these words, she realised her mistake, for Lucius' face darkened, and he seemed to flinch. Hermione felt foolish for bringing up the past. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she apologised immediately. "I sometimes speak without thinking; please, don't be angry."

Lucius shrugged eloquently. "No matter," he said, trying to pretend he wasn't affected. "I suppose I shall have to get used to things like that. We all made mistakes."

Remembering Narcissa's graciousness, Hermione said quietly. "You did what you thought was best. The past is the past, and if I brought it up and upset you, then I did it unintentionally and I apologise." Then, she did a very brave and Gryffindor thing; she leaned up on her toes and kissed Lucius on his cheek.

Lucius stared down at the young woman, who was blushing furiously, with something akin to wonder. He realised that the entire world would see an image of her shy, tentative kiss tomorrow morning. She had kissed him publicly; she had apologised and then shown the world that there was no bad blood between them. Overcome with emotion, he smiled down at her gently before pulling her closer and squeezing her hand. "I'm so glad you and Cissy have grown close," he said at last to the top of her head. "We both always wanted a daughter; I think you will do quite nicely."

Hermione blushed once more. She still found it hard to imagine that she had grown so close to the Malfoys. A few months ago, they would have killed her on sight merely on principle. Unsure of how to respond, she hid her burning face in his shoulder.

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