Bemoaning Bellatrix
Chapter 7 of 9
peppermintWhat's Bellatrix done now?
ReviewedDear Diary,
I'd kill Bellatrix with my own two hands if I didn't have this premonition she might come to an even nastier end. That might be amusing, so I'll allow her to live. For now.
Dear Bella misplaced the sword of Godric Gryffindor. Then, she, Lucius, Draco, and Narcissa had Potter, his Mudblood, and his blood traitor here, and they escaped! Escaped! Not only that, that whackadoodle house-elf Dobby took Ollivander and the Lovegood girl as well!
Bellatrix keeps offering to make it up to me, but frankly, I don't know where that mouth has been. Disgusting.
I just told her to make sure the rest of my special collectibles are protected or else. I haven't decided what 'or else' is yet, but Crucio will only be the beginning of it.
Hark, I hear Narcissa bitching. Bellatrix got blood on the Axminster while she was torturing someone. Tut tut, Bellatrix. Better nip out to Lestrange Manor and get a replacement before your sister decides your blood would make a delightful matching stain. She's in a mood lately. Maybe Lucius can't get it up anymore.
Speaking of Lucius! Is it just me, or does he seriously need a conditioning treatment? He used to take much better care of himself – his decline is utterly depressing.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Dark Lords Need Love Too
117 Reviews | 6.86/10 Average
ROFL!! Can't wait to hear about the trip to the spa.
ROFL. :D
Anonymous
*mwahaha* Brilliant again! Atrocious nails indeed! And Snape with his new hairdo... I saw a great capiton the other day, with a pic of him, and "L'oreal- because you are worth it". ;o)
I can just see him jumping up and down with joy! Off to the spa, boys!
sick, sick, you have one sick and twisted and demented mind. I love it. Good chapter. Please can I have more.
Awww....he got his hug.....
OMG! Fortunately he doesn't master the wand. Wonder what that spa day will be like?
BWAH!!!
I suspect I now know where the fluffy hair alluded to on Buzz came from a few days ago. It's most kind of the Tedious One to take such care about his minions and their grooming practices.
Oh dear God, Voldemort and Lucius sharing a spa day? ROFL. I pity the unfortunate soul who has to give the Dark Lord a massage.
But, hey, I would be more than happy to volunteer to give Lucius a massage. And, naturally, Severus too. That would certainly make my Christmas!
Er, at least as long as I don't have to see even a semi-nude Voldie. *Shudders*
Ahahaha 'naughty boys need love too' and all that. LOL
Too cute!
haha WIN! I love it!
Very funny! Poor Lucius...he used to be so proud of that hair...
Am I wrong or is this inspired by some scenes in the last movie? Because I made myself the same remark about Lucius' hair. Anyway it's brilliantly done as usual.
Response from peppermint (Author of Dark Lords Need Love Too)
Yes, it is. Seeing DH provided me with some much-needed inspiration, LOL!
Sounds like Bella is becoming such an untrustworthy tramp. What's an evil megalomaniac to do?
Lucius can't get it up anymore? Mehehe, seems to be a trend among writers this week to make dear Lulu look bad. Love it! Just as the rest!
I am already looking forward to reading all those drabbles in one go once you're done!
Shame on you making me laugh at work. I so look forward to your updates.
The comment about Lucius's hair... priceless! :)
Anonymous
*mwahaha* Brilliant, once again! "Where that mouth has been" - "needs a conditioning treatment" *roflol*
Poor Tedious One, just like any kid on Christmas who didn't get the one thing he was looking for...
I'm sure he does get cold on those marble floors. Cold-blooded creatures need a heat source. He's really building this hug up in his mind. I wonder if, when it does happen, it satisfies his expectations.
Aw... poor fellow. I wonder if Lucius knows he could save his wine cellar by giving the Tedious One a little human contact now and again...
"Special collectibles," hm? Well, that would explain my brother-in-law's attachment to his baseball card collection. I always thought the Ken Griffey rookie card had an evil twinkle in its eye ...
This is hilarious! I'm so glad you updated! I look forward to reading of the fate of the rest of the collectibles!
*Snort*
I don't know whether to pity the "cow" or the TO on what will happen next. I think Bella will enjoy being tortured, and he will hate being in the room with her...
You've almost got me feeling bad for the poor widdle TO. Almost.