Life to the Fullest

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Chapter Five

Life to the Fullest

Exactly six months after Rose's birthday, Hermione and Severus renewed their wedding vows. Hermione never did recover the memories of those five years, but it made no difference. Their lives together were filled with ups and downs, joys and sorrows, but she never regretted a single moment. She had set her course...and her heart...towards the here and now and allowed the future to take care of itself.

*****

"Slytherin? Why in the world would the Hat Sort Hugo, my sweet baby boy, into Slytherin? There has to be some mistake."

Hermione was genuinely concerned that there might be something wrong with the Sorting Hat. Hugo was a kind, outgoing child who, as he'd grown older, had become more and more like his father. Ron was practically the poster child for Gryffindor House...brave, daring, fun-loving, impetuous. Hugo was much the same. That he had been Sorted into Slytherin had to be a mistake. There was no other explanation.

Severus sat up in bed and moved to where she was propped up against headboard, one long arm wrapping around shoulders. He reached for her hand to stop the nervous twisting of her ring. Hermione rested her head on his chest and snuggled into his warmth.

"Are you disappointed?" he asked neutrally.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "No. I'm just surprised. Of the two of them, I might have expected it from Rose...she can be terribly sneaky when she wants to be. But Hugo? I just can't imagine what the Hat was thinking."

Severus snorted. "If you noticed when Rose was being sneaky, she's a Gryffindor, not a Slytherin, proving that her Sorting was valid." He ignored the light slap to his chest and continued, "As for Hugo, you see the child through a mother's eyes, Hermione. You never noticed his rather ambitious and cunning nature, as his gregariousness provided the perfect camouflage. However, I can tell you with utmost certainty that he has inherited his mother's intelligence..."

"Thank you very much."

"...his father's strategic mind, and a mischievous streak that could only have come from his uncles. The boy has avoided trouble thus far solely because he knows how to not get caught. It's time to face the facts, Hermione...Hugo is a true Slytherin."

Hermione sighed, her fingers drawing small circles against the small patch of exposed skin where the buttons at the top of his nightshirt ended. "It must be your influence," she said, shifting until she was reclining half on top of him.

Severus' eyes gleamed with something akin to pride. "Indubitably," he said, and then he rolled her onto her back, covering her body with his own. "Now, how would you like to be influenced by the former Head of Slytherin?"

*****

"What in the hell do you think you're doing?"

Severus paused, his back to her, and then resumed clearing out his desk. "I assume Minerva told you."

Hermione closed the door to his office and stood in the centre of the room, her arms crossed. "Yes, although I would have rather heard it from you."

He gingerly placed the framed family photo at the top of the trunk and closed it. "I was going to tell you this evening."

"And then what, Severus? Were you going to clean out your study, too? Were you going to run from me?"

He hung his head, bracing himself against the desk. "Perhaps we should speak of this when I return home this evening."

"No!" She marched forward and reached out to turn him to face her. "You aren't coming home this evening, are you?" She studied his face and was outraged by what she found. "You're planning to leave? Without me? Without the children?"

He said nothing. He didn't have to...his agonised expression spoke volumes.

Hermione willed her voice to remain steady. "Of all the ridiculous, stupid, idiotic plans you could have concocted ... and over what? A baseless accusation by the child of a former Death Eater out for revenge?"

Severus wrenched out of her grasp, the mask of indifference he had shed so long ago now firmly in place. "There will be an investigation. Every mistake, every error, every sin I have ever committed will be on display. I will not stand here and continue to teach and pretend that all is well. I will not allow you and the children to suffer the consequences of my actions."

"Stop it." She reached out and grabbed the front of his robes. "I won't let you do this. We are a family, and as such, we'll face this together. They have no evidence, and you have already said you would submit to Veritaserum. You never turned your wand on that child...the truth will come out in the end. I don't understand why you're so concerned..."

"They will crucify me!" Severus shouted, and then his voice lowered to a whisper. "They will use the opportunity to sate their curiosity about the past, to dig and delve into every nook and cranny of my mind, of my memories. They will sensationalise every word I utter, every gesture I make, and print it in the Prophet for all to see. And they will rake you and the children across the coals, as well. I will not allow it...not if it is within my power to stop it."

Hermione placed her hand beneath his chin and guided his gaze to hers. "Severus, you're not thinking very clearly. The wizarding world regards you as a hero. And as for your position as professor, the Board of Governors has said they have the utmost confidence in you."

Her words gave him pause. He searched her face, as if looking for some sign to indicate the falsity of her statement.

"And how, exactly, would you know that?"

She arched an eyebrow as she reached inside her bag and then handed him the letter that Minerva had sent her to deliver. "Minerva kindly alerted me to your rather premature resignation and allowed me to arrive via the Floo in her office. She gave me this when I arrived and asked that I deliver it to you directly. If you had bothered to give her a few more minutes of your time, you would know that the Board of Governors has already released a statement to the press declaring their unwavering faith that these accusations will be found to be completely false. They also stated that the hearing will be closed to the press and that you will be allowed a representative to ensure that only those questions relevant to this accusation will be asked."

When she had finished speaking, he had already opened the letter and was quickly scanning the contents. "I don't know what to say. I never expected..."

"Obviously not," Hermione interrupted tersely, her eyes glistening with moisture. "You were about to abandon your family, and I choose to believe that you would not have considered such a thing under normal circumstances."

"Of course I wouldn't!"

"After all," Hermione continued, as if he hadn't spoken, "I seem to recall a certain promise that you made a few years ago that you would never leave me. I have always believed you to be a man of your word."

He pulled her to him, clutching her as if his very life depended on having her in his arms. "I only wanted to protect you and the children," Severus said brokenly, burying his face in her hair.

"We neither need nor want your protection, Severus...we need you. I'm not some silly little girl who needs to be coddled. I want to walk through life beside you...whatever comes our way. We will get through this, and through anything else life tosses at us, together. It's the only way."

She felt his answering nod, and then she threw her arms about his neck and began to weep; her fear at the mere thought that he had been so close to running was overwhelming.

He held her tightly until her tears were spent, and then he murmured, "Do you think Minerva would allow me to rescind my resignation?"

Hermione sighed in relief. "I'm sure she will."

*****

"Severus, try to remain still. I don't want to prick you with this pin. There. It's perfect," Hermione said, admiring her handiwork. The deep red rose was so dark that it all but disappeared against the black of his formal dress robes. At least the greenery offset it somewhat. She smiled, remembering the day she'd read of the birth of Draco Malfoy's son in the Prophet and how she'd pitied the poor boy for his parents' unfortunate choice for a name. And now ....

"Why does it have to be Scorpius Malfoy?" Severus grumbled for the millionth time.

"Enough," Hermione said firmly. She gently held his face between her hands and drew his gaze to hers. "Scorpius may not be the wizard you would have chosen for her, but he is the one that Rose has chosen. I admit that I had my own doubts initially, but she loves him, and you know perfectly well that Scorpius worships the ground she walks on."

She released him, then tugged on his sleeves and smoothed her hands along the front of his robes. "Now, today is our daughter's wedding, and you are about to walk her down that aisle and give her away. Don't ruin this for them by glowering and sulking. You will behave. Understood?"

Severus released a heavy sigh, his sullen expression melting into melancholy. He rested his forehead against hers and said, "I don't want to give her away."

Hermione pulled back in surprise. "You don't? But I thought you agreed that both you and Ron would walk her down the aisle. Rose has her heart set on it! You can't disappoint her..."

"That's not what I meant," he interrupted, his dark eyes troubled. "I'm not ready to give her up ... not yet."

"Oh, Severus," Hermione murmured in understanding, one hand drifting to the nape of his neck. "She loves you so much, and no matter how old she is, Rose will always be your little girl."

*****

Severus was waiting in the entry hall as she opened the door. Hermione set down her bag at her feet and then released the clasp on her cloak.

"Well?" he demanded impatiently, "Are you going to keep me in suspense all evening, or will you deign to inform me as to the success of your presentation?"

She ignored him and removed her cloak. Only after hanging it on the rack did she respond.

"It went well."

"It went well," he repeated, his tone exasperated, and Hermione knew she could only hold out for a few more moments before he turned to drastic measures in order to obtain the information he wanted...like tickling.

She decided to press her luck.

"Yes."

He gave her his best glower...at one point in her life she would have been terrified...and crossed his arms over his chest.

Hermione rolled her eyes and then attempted to walk past him into the kitchen. He reached out an arm to block her path, halting her progress, and gave her a warning glance.

"Hermione ...."

She huffed. "Oh, all right." She sighed and looked up at him, attempting to keep her expression neutral. But she couldn't help the twitch of her lips that threatened to bloom into a full-sized grin.

"You did it," he said.

A wide smile emerged. "I did," she affirmed and then threw herself into his arms.

"I knew you would," he said, tightening his arms around her in small squeeze before taking her by the hand and guiding her into the kitchen. "This calls for a celebration...champagne?"

Hermione came to an abrupt stop as she entered the kitchen. The small kitchen table had been set with their finest linens, crystal, and china. Her favourite meal had already been served, and a bottle of champagne was chilling in the centre of the table.

"Severus," she breathed, "this is beautiful. Thank you." She turned to face him and pressed her mouth to his.

They were enjoying their afters when Hermione asked, amused, "What would you have done if I hadn't convinced them to award me the research grant?"

He raised an eyebrow, and his mouth curled into a small, crooked smile. "I would have said it was a commiserative gesture."

Hermione laughed. Severus had quite the romantic streak, one that he occasionally indulged, much to her enjoyment.

"When will the research begin?" he asked, pouring her another glass of champagne.

"In a month or so. I have to finish putting together a team, and then there is some preliminary work that must be done before we can begin the patient trials."

"Good."

Hermione waited for him to continue, but he was silent, his gaze focussed on the table cloth as his long fingers ran along the stem of his glass. She tilted her head to the side. His response had been rather unusual; typically, he would have asked more questions and discussed various hypotheses. "Are you all right?"

"Of course," he said, his expression blank.

Now she knew something was wrong. "Don't hide from me. I neither like nor appreciate it. What's wrong?"

He ran a finger around the rim of his champagne glass, his eyes blindly focussed on the centre of the table. "I understand your motivations for this project. However, I cannot help but wonder at times .... What are you hoping to accomplish?"

"I'm not sure what you mean," Hermione replied, confused. "We've discussed this many times. Do you want me to give up the project?"

"Of course not," he said firmly. "The subject of memory loss is a profound one for both of us. St Mungo's made a wise decision in selecting you and your team for this year's research grant." He paused, and she watched as he struggled to articulate his concerns. "Your project has resurrected many old questions, that is all. I merely wonder if ...."

"Yes?"

"I wonder if perhaps you view this as some sort of catharsis regarding your own memory loss. Perhaps you even harbour some regrets about staying ... after."

Of all the things he might have said, that was the one she would have least suspected. After all these years, to know that he still had doubts about her love for him was heartbreaking. "Why would you ever think such a thing?"

He shrugged, and Hermione rose from her seat and squeezed herself between him and the table until she was sitting on his lap.

"Listen to me right now, Severus Snape. I love you. I have never regretted a single moment of our life together. I'm where I want to be...here, right now, with you."

He relaxed and rested his head in the crook of her neck, his hands sliding up her back until he tangled one in her hair. Then he reverently dragged his mouth along the column of her neck to her ear and murmured, "Thank you."

*****

"Hugo, she's beautiful!" Hermione crooned, her eyes drinking in the tiny creature she held in her arms. Deep blue eyes blinked at her owlishly, and the perfect little rosebud mouth opened in a wide yawn. Hermione grinned and gently drew her fingers down one velvety cheek, utterly entranced by the newest addition to her family.

"Congratulations," Severus said, clapping his hand against Hugo's shoulder and then bending to kiss the cheek of his very tired daughter-in-law, who was resting on the sofa. Then he moved to stand behind Hermione, peering over her shoulder at the little girl who had made them grandparents. "Yes, she's definitely a Weasley," he said, taking in the fuzzy bit of red hair on the top of the newborn's head.

Ron laughed, startling the baby. "That's rather obvious, mate."

"Where is Eleanor?" Hermione asked, gently bouncing the infant to calm her; she hadn't spoken to the woman she now considered a friend in a few weeks, having been busy on a project for the Department of Mysteries.

Hugo chuckled. "She's in the room next door. Passed out when Dad called her 'Grandma.'"

"She did not. Tell the truth, Hugo," Rose scolded, though her eyes belied her tone; she was too happy to be truly irritated with her brother. "Tessa has some sort of stomach bug, and Eleanor and Dad were up with her all night. The Healer said it was all right for them to visit the baby, as long as they used a Sanitation Charm, but Eleanor was falling asleep in her chair, so Dad sent her home to get some sleep."

"Is Tessa all right?" Hermione asked, concerned about her children's youngest half-sibling. Tessa would turn eleven in a few months. There were three others, as well: John was fifteen, Roger, seventeen, and Henry, age twenty.

"Yeah, Eleanor said she should be back to normal in a few days," Ron replied. "I certainly hope she's right, 'cause I'm dead tired."

"And how is it that you're still wide awake, Dad?" Hugo asked mischievously; he obviously already knew the answer to his query.

Ron sent a scathing glance towards his son and then folded his arms across his chest before mumbling, "I had one of those Muggle fizzy drinks with that coffee-nated stuff."

"You mean caffeine?" Rose asked, alarmed. "Dad, you know Eleanor doesn't like you drinking caffeinated beverages...the last time you had one, you didn't sleep for three whole days!"

"Only because I drank more than one!" Ron said, defensively.

"How many did you have?" Severus asked, amused by the story.

Ron muttered a number under his breath, then glanced up to find everyone looking at him. "Seven, all right? It was hot, and I was thirsty!"

Hermione laughed lightly along with the others, so as not to scare the infant, but little Dahlia Hermione Weasley began to fuss, regardless. "I think someone wants her mummy."

"I'll just take her to the other room to feed her," Lydia said.

Hugo immediately was at Lydia's side, helping her to stand. He lifted little Dahlia from Hermione's arms and then hovered over his wife as she slowly made her way to their bedroom.

Hermione sighed and leaned the back of her head against her husband's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. "She's perfect, isn't she?"

Severus hummed his agreement. "It will be interesting to have a baby in the family."

Resting her hands on his arms, Hermione craned her head so that she could look at her husband. "Do you ever regret that we never had one of our own?"

They hadn't ever actively tried to have a child together, but they had never done anything to prevent it, either. It just hadn't happened for them. Hermione wouldn't have minded having a child with Severus, but it would have been icing on an already decorated cake...her life felt full and complete.

Hermione watched as Severus looked around at their expanding family, his gaze falling on Rose and the small bump that had just become visible; they would be grandparents again in a few short months. Finally, he looked at her, his eyes glistening suspiciously as he said, "No. I have no regrets. I have more than I could have ever wished for."

*****

Hermione gripped Severus' arm tightly with her gnarled hand as they stood on the crowded platform with their family. The youngest of their great-grandchildren, Severus Ronald, was leaving for his first year at Hogwarts, and Severus had wished to see him off. He didn't often leave the cottage, usually venturing only as far as the back garden, as his health had been rather precarious in recent months, but he'd been determined to see the last of this generation off to Hogwarts. And so their grandson, Peter, the middle child of Rose and Scorpius, had arrived early that morning to accompany them as they Apparated to platform nine and three-quarters.

After many kisses, hugs, and tears, young Severus Weasley finally boarded the train. He waved enthusiastically from an open window and the train began to move, beginning the young boy's long-awaited journey to Hogwarts.

There was then another flurry of kisses and hugs, as the grandchildren all had busy lives of their own...things to do and people to see. Soon, only Hermione and Severus remained on the platform, along with Peter, who had patiently waited to escort them home.

As they walked toward the Apparition point, Hermione shook her head. "It seems like only yesterday that Severus was born. Where in the world has the time gone?"

Severus gave a hoarse chuckle and squeezed her hand. "I believe it was you who told me many years ago that children have a way of growing when you aren't looking."

"They certainly do."

Hermione both loved and hated days such as this one. She loved the time spent with family and seeing the fruits of her labour, so to speak; but it was bittersweet in that it reminded her just how quickly time was marching on.

Her ruminations were interrupted when Severus came to an abrupt halt. She looked up at him and frowned. "Are you all right? You look a bit pale."

"I'm fine. Just a bit out of breath. Give me a mo..."

Then she watched, horrified, as Severus lurched forwards, struggling valiantly to remain upright.

"Peter!" Hermione called out, desperate to maintain her grip on Severus' arm as he collapsed at her feet.

*****

"I'm sorry, Mrs Snape."

The young Healer gave Hermione a sympathetic smile and then walked away, on to his next patient.

She stood in the middle of the corridor, his words echoing inside her head.

"His mind appears to be as sharp as ever, but his body is worn out. All of his vital organs are shutting down, and his magic is depleting. I'd say he has a few hours at the least, a few days at most."

A few hours? Hermione couldn't comprehend even the thought of a world without Severus in it. She didn't want to even consider such a possibility, and yet in as little as a few hours, that world would be her reality.

She stood frozen, unable to move save for the thumb twisting her wedding band around her finger.

Her husband.

Severus.

She needed to see him, to be with him, to spend every single second with him. She would stay with him ... to the very end.

Hermione swallowed the sobs that were clawing at her throat, desperately attempting to escape. Straightening her spine, she turned to face the throng of family and friends that had gathered upon hearing of Severus' collapse at the station. Most of her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren were present, as were Harry and Ginny, Ron and Eleanor, Luna and her husband, Johannes, and dozens of assorted Weasleys.

"The Healer says that he won't be coming home this time," she said bluntly. "I'm going to remain here with him until ...." She paused, unable to actually speak the words, and steadied herself before turning to her children. "Rose, Hugo, Luna. I'd like you to stay, at least for a little while. Severus will want to see you."

She looked about the crowded corridor and smiled tremulously. "Thank you for being here. It means so much to me that you came. The Healer says he could linger for days, so if you'd like to return to your homes, please, don't feel as if you need to stay on my account."

"We'll stay, Hermione," Harry said, running his hand through his shock of white hair and then putting an arm around Ginny's shoulders.

"Us, too." Ron's face was splotchy, and his eyes were moist. Severus had played an integral part in his children's lives, and in a way, Hermione realised suddenly, the two wizards had a very strange but very real bond.

She felt a hand on her arm...Luna. She wanted to wrap her arms around her friend so that they could grieve together...but she knew they would do that later.

Hermione closed her eyes and took a moment to gather her thoughts, but they were scattered. Death, she knew, was part of life, but it didn't make it any easier to bear. They'd lost Arthur five years ago, Molly following him within a year. Xenophilius had passed beyond the veil the previous summer, which Severus had taken particularly hard. "I'm the last of us now," he'd whispered to her brokenly, as he'd held the carving of the four Houses in his hands.

And now ....

Rose and Hugo each took a hand and led Hermione into the room, Luna coming along behind. Although Hermione wanted nothing more than to weep and rage, she knew she had to hold herself together; she could fall apart ... after.

Hermione watched, neither seeing nor hearing the scene playing before her as Severus said good-bye to the children he considered his own and the goddaughter he so adored. Her mind was caught up in memories of their life together, of the joys and sorrows they'd shared. How was she to continue on without him?

"Hermione."

His voice dragged her from her thoughts, and she realised they were alone.

"Come," he said, his voice weaker than she'd ever heard it.

She went to him and sat in the chair beside his bed, taking his hand between both of hers. "How are you feeling? Are you in pain?"

"No. I feel ... tired. And embarrassed."

"Embarrassed?"

"I collapsed at the bloody station," he grumbled, his pale cheeks turning a light a pink. "It will be all over the Daily Prophet tomorrow."

Hermione couldn't help but smile fondly, even as she held back her tears. She patted his hand and said, "Well, you always did love a dramatic exit."

He gave a short huff of laughter, breathed more than voiced. He squeezed her hand and said, "I have something to tell you, Hermione. This will be my last chance...my time is coming to an end."

The tears that she had been so valiantly restraining spilled over and streamed down her wrinkled cheeks.

He gripped her hand more tightly. "It would have been easy for me to have never returned to Britain, to have spent the remainder of my life in self-imposed exile. And then you came and turned my life inside out ... and allowed me to truly live. There is no one else with whom I would have rather lived this life. Thank you for sharing it with me. I love you."

Hermione wiped away her tears with one hand, and smiled at him tremulously. "Loving you has been the best part of my life. I wish I had those missing five years again ... not because I still feel that something is missing...because I don't, not at all...but because it would have been five more years of memories with you. I love you, so very much."

No other words were spoken between them. They merely held hands as they gazed into each other's eyes; words were not needed.

An hour passed, then two, until finally, Severus' eyes slipped shut and his breathing slowed. Hermione laid her head on his forearm, her eyes open, staring at the white sheet of his hospital bed. She breathed deliberately, timing her inhalations with his, the familiar smell of potions ingredients and herbs filling her nostrils. Her hands clung tightly to his, even as his grip turned lax. He took one last breath, and then he was still, and she knew ... he was gone.

Closing her eyes, Hermione began to weep. He was gone. What would she ever do without him?

*****

"Hermione?"

Luna's voice cut through the fog inside her mind. Her eyes felt heavy, as if she'd fallen asleep. She realised suddenly that Severus' hand was no longer in hers. Had they already taken him away?

"Hermione!"

She opened her eyes and was immediately confused. She had been sitting, but now it appeared she was lying down because she was looking at the ceiling. She shifted, and something fell from her hand to the floor. Disoriented and bewildered, Hermione was about to ask Luna who had put her to bed when the witch entered her field of view.

"Thank Merlin, you're awake! A Healer should be here soon. You were out for quite a while, so I contacted St Mungo's. What happened? Was it a Blibbering Humdinger?"

Hermione closed her eyes and then opened them, but everything remained the same. She looked around Luna's sitting room, finding herself surrounded by Severus' books and parchments and journals. Her entire body shook as she raised her hands before her eyes. Her wedding ring was missing, and her skin was smooth and unblemished.

"Oh, no. No." She sat up and continued to look at her hands, then clenched them into fists as she wrapped her arms about herself, doubling over as if in pain. Her gaze dropped to the floor, landing on a small, wooden sphere. "No! This isn't possible. This isn't happening."

"Are you all right?" Luna asked, kneeling next to the sofa, her grey eyes wide with alarm.

Hermione shook her head slowly as she looked into the youthful face of her friend...a face she hadn't seen in decades. "No. No!"

In her anguish, she dissolved into a torrent of tears.

A/N: Don't kill me! Just hang on with me a bit longer, and it will all be explained, I promise. Many of you saw this coming, and really, there were enough clues that it shouldn't have been completely unexpected. Right? *winces*

Also, I forgot to include in my notes for the previous chapter that the line "they don't wear lederhosen in Sweden" was a nod to my husband...it's from one of his favorite movies, Trading Places.

Because of the evil cliffie, I'll post the next chapter tomorrow night.