Perception is a State of Mind

Summary: Hermione seeks an elusive cure for the lasting effects of a curse Bellatrix Lestrange managed to hit her with during the Battle of Hogwarts. Her life has been lost to endless bouts of pain and despair that have plagued her these last two years. But her luck may finally be changing. A reference to a Dark potion in an obscure book may hold the key to her cure. But where will she find a Potions master knowledgeable enough to brew it? Written for Warded_Portal for the SSHG Winter 2007 exchange.

Prompt: AU, EWE: Hurt/comfort. Years after the final battle, Hermione struggles daily with the after effects of Bellatrix Lestrange's special brand of Crucio. St. Mungo's advises treating the symptoms, but Hermione wants to live her life. She goes to the oldest center of Wizarding population, Alexandria, Egypt, chasing a rumour: a Potions master with a dual expertise in Legilimency. For some reason, he doesn't want to help her. Without knowing his true identity, Hermione must persuade him she is worth his time. Romance, happy ending please. (Bonuses include: archaeology, magical artifacts, history, dusty libraries, and moments of crazy stupid in love).

Disclaimer: Not mine. All characters and settings belong to JKR, et al. I promise to return them when I finish playing with them.

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Chapter 5 – Perception is a State of Mind

Severus sat sideways on the bed facing Hermione's still form. He'd given her the potion while still unconscious; it wouldn't do to make Bellatrix aware of his intentions. Now all he had to do was wake the witch up, remove the soul fragment, get out with both their minds and magic intact, and everyone would live happily ever after. Right.

A wave of his wand, a muttered Rennervate, and Hermione woke up. Her eyes skittered back and forth, landing on Snape before flitting to Harry and Ginny. Her gaze returned to the Potions master, fear evident in her eyes.

"Pro...?"

Before she could finish the word, Severus raised his wand to her temple and cast the Legilimency Spell. Once again he was pulled into the witch's mind. It seemed the potion had taken hold. He could feel Bellatrix's presence, the edges of her being more concise than before.

Where are you, Bellatrix? Don't you want to come out and play with me? he projected into the swirling void.

I never liked you to begin with, Snape. What makes you think I want to see you now?

Her mad cackle sent a chill through his own mind. You don't belong here, Bella. It's time to find a new home.

What's the matter, Snapey, afraid I might hurt your little Mudblood?

He could feel Hermione shudder as the two moved through the chasm of her mind, taunting one another. He moved passed swirling memories, spying a wizard in lime green robes, before probing further into the mist. He caught a glimpse of himself standing at his lectern as another memory moved past him. More and more images seemed to be moving around him. He suspected Lestrange was trying to deter him with Hermione's thoughts and emotions.

I grow weary of your childish games. Come on, Bellatrix. Where are you hiding? A flash of light came racing toward him out of the darkness. He'd barely had time to raise his mental defenses as he deflected the imagined hex she sent towards him. He could make out a faint red glow ahead of him, the edges more defined than when he'd first seen it.

"Harry, look." Ginny gestured to Severus' still form. While Hermione had moaned weakly, her body jumping sporadically every few minutes as she tensed her limbs, Snape had remained perfectly still until now. His lips curved up into a feral grin as he moved through Hermione's mind – he'd found Lestrange.

Reciting an ancient spell used to exorcise evil spirits, several of the words long ago lost to today's languages, he bound Lestrange's soul to his spirit and began pulling the resisting Bella forward. She seemed determined to possess the witch, latching onto images and memories as he pulled her to the forefront of Hermione's mind by his sheer will alone.

Hermione shifted in agony as Bellatrix fought back. The witch was helpless to stop the constant deluge of pain racing through her body. Tears streamed from her eyes, her voice hoarse from crying out as the torment continued.

It's time to join your master in hell, Bella. Slowly he pulled back; a thin, red thread seeped from Hermione's temple following Severus' wand as he withdrew from her mind. As soon as he'd broken free, he destroyed the connection he'd formed with Lestrange and cast the thread into the basin. Harry had been waiting. As the fragment sank to the bottom, he poured the potion across the top. The vessel glowed from within, the leaves closing to form a seamless closure, the fragment encased for all eternity.

Severus lurched back, his head pounding from the strain of performing the ritual. He reached for a phial on the nightstand and quickly downed it, the pain receding as his headache responded to the potion. He turned a cautious eye as he watched the witch in front of him and waited for her to speak.

"Hermione? Snape, what's wrong with her?"

"I suspect she's a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I would think my little romp through her mind might echo the effects of a concussion on some level. Miss Granger," he called softly, "can you hear me? Do you know where you are?"

"Harry?" Hermione looked lost as she looked around the room. Her eyes widened in surprise as she spied Snape.

"Don't try to talk. Just rest for a minute." Hermione's eyes slipped closed as Ginny brought a cool flannel to her forehead.

"Her magic? Is she all right? The fragment was red, like you said. But I thought I saw a white thread or two tangled up with it."

"Lestrange tried to do as much damage as she could. I'm afraid she may have destroyed some of her memories. It's too soon for me to go back in and check her mind. Her health was questionable before this. She'll need time to recover. It will take a few weeks before we'll know the extent of the damage."

"And her magic?" Harry asked, wondering just what would happen to his friend if her magic didn't return.

"That, too, will take time."

"And until then?"

Severus gestured to the phials he had lined up on the nightstand. "I've devised a series of potions to help with her recovery. Her nerves and muscles are weak from the constant pain. Rest will be her greatest ally." Hermione's hand on his arm startled the dark man.

"She's gone. I can't feel her anymore. Oh, God, Professor, how can I ever thank you?" Her tears started anew, the young woman finally free of the terror that she'd lived with the past two years.

Severus watched Hermione's eyes as he called out to his house-elf. "Toddy."

The little elf popped in next to the nightstand. "Yes, Master Snape, sir?"

"Miss Granger will be starting on the second round of potions. Refer to the schedule I gave you for doses and times. Perhaps some light tea and toast might be in order, then rest."

"Professor, I can't stay here. I've imposed on you long enough."

"I told you, Miss Granger, I am no longer your professor. You'll need several potions that must be prepared on a daily basis. I still have other potions and my private research that needs tending to. I don't fancy chasing you down all over Great Britain to see that you've taken your medication at the proper times. I'm just thankful I managed to rid you of Lestrange's spirit and not kill you in the process. Let's see how thankful you are when we find out the extent of damage she caused as a result of my interference."

Hermione smiled softly. "I'd miss my magic, but if I never cast another spell again, I would still thank you. She's gone. I don't know how I'll ever repay your kindness. You have no idea what the last two years have been like."

The gruff man rose awkwardly from the bed. "Rest, get well, leave my home. That will be thanks enough. Now if you'll excuse me..." and even though the wizard had been clad in a button down shirt and trousers, he swept out of the room as if he were dressed in full Potions master regalia, an imaginary robe majestically billowing out behind him.

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She couldn't believe how weak she was. Her legs still felt wobbly, and after her last disastrous attempt, she'd had Severus berating her for not calling for assistance when the floor rose up to meet her, she didn't dare try to stand on her own again, at least not until she felt stronger. Really, her dignity had suffered more than her bum had.

They'd moved awkwardly from 'Miss Granger' and 'Professor' to first names when he'd blown up the third time she used the honorific title he now seemed to despise. He was no longer her professor, he reminded her tersely, hadn't been since before the war ended. By tack agreement they hadn't discussed the events leading up to his leaving Hogwarts or the circumstances surrounding the final battle. It was almost a relief to leave those topics behind and move on.

It was slow going, but she dutifully took the potions that were doled out to her. Madam Pomfrey had come the second day, pronounced her recovery a miracle, and given her a list of exercise to do along with her potions schedule.

The days quickly fell into a predictable pattern. She'd wake to find that a light breakfast, kept fresh under a warming charm, waiting for her. The room had been charmed to fulfill a number of requests, a self-cleaning wash basin and other toiletries would come on command. She could almost forget she was unable to do magic for the moment, as the objects whisked back and forth between her and the dresser. But the sudden silence when she looked around the room would remind her that she was alone in her own mind once again. That it was just Hermione that held control, and with that thought, nothing else mattered. Periodically Severus would find her listening to the silence, an odd smile on her face. He, of all people, might have understood her relief, having felt the madness when he'd first probed her mind.

Once refreshed, she'd call for Toddy, who had taken a liking to the witch and was more than happy to Apparate her downstairs. Dressed in warm pajamas and a silk dressing gown to ward off chills, she would make herself comfortable on the lounge sofa, a stack of back issues from various potions, charms, and other wizarding publications at her side. Ginny had stopped by every day for the first week, joining her for a light lunch and proving what a stern taskmaster she could be as she helped her work through her exercises. She was more than ready for an afternoon nap when her friend left. But it was the evenings she had come to cherish.

Severus would join her for dinner, their conversation covering a variety of topics, usually centering on whatever article Hermione had read that day. He would help her to the lounge before settling himself into one of the side chairs in front of the fire, the two reading in companionable silence until, invariably, she would fall asleep. She assumed it was Toddy who magicked her back to her room and bed, not knowing that it was Severus who'd taken to carrying her up the stairs after the third night.

He watched as she stretched her head from side to side, the muscles in her neck still weak and sore. One of his books balanced precariously on one knee as she raised a hand to her shoulder and started to rub it.

"Budge up."

"What? Severus, you startled me."

"Move forward. Your neck is still bothering you?"

"Just a bit." Warm capable hands massaged and soothed her sore muscles as he worked from the center of her back out toward her shoulders. She shifted forward, her knees coming up so she could cross her arms and lean forward to rest her head on them. "Oh, please, don't stop. That feels heavenly." A small moan of pleasure escaped the witch as his hands glided across her back.

The sound of that moan had more of an effect on Severus than he cared to admit. Images of bare, oiled skin, his hands following the sensual curve of her body, rose unbidden in his mind. It did not help that he'd run across the memory of her with Krum when he'd looked into her mind that morning. He'd only meant to check for damages resulting from the exorcism, nothing more. She'd noticed her memory of the final battle was... sketchy. She could no longer recall being hit by Lestrange, only the events leading up to the actual curse. Waking up in St Mungo's was clearer than the final battle. It was one of several memories Severus assumed Lestrange had damaged when he pulled her from Hermione's mind.

But somehow the image of her and Krum together, had jumped into his path. He swallowed thickly, his mouth going dry as he tried to erase the sight of Hermione coupling with the Quidditch star from his own mind. It didn't help that the young man looked like a younger version of himself; it would have been too easy to imagine it was he under the witch, sampling the pleasures of her body, her back arched, eyes closed, her hair a wild halo as she reached her peak. He'd watched as her hand traced a sensual pattern from her neck to her breast, Krum's hands wrapped around her hips as she rode the wizard. Severus shook his head, trying to clear it of the images that threatened his sanity; it wouldn't do to dwell on thoughts of the witch as being anything more than a temporary thorn in his side.

It had only been a few days. He suspected it might take weeks before Granger was fully recovered. It would probably take that long before they'd know how much of her magic, if any, had survived. She would be a guest in his home for as long as it took to get her back on her feet and out of there so he could return to his life and his solitude.

Gently, he worked the muscles along her spine, the tight knots easing as he rubbed firm circles in an ever-widening pattern along her back. His hands splayed wide, thumbs soothing away the witch's aches and pains. A frown creased his brow when he realized she hadn't made a sound in the last few minutes. "Hermione?" he called softly. He chuckled quietly when he realized she'd fallen asleep, her head resting on her crossed arms. He scooped her up, one arm under her knees, the other around her shoulders and drew her to him.

Instinctively, she turned and burrowed into the warmth of his body, a small sigh of contentment escaped as her hand came up to rest on his chest. "Mm, nice," she mumbled, the comforting smell of herbs and other ingredients that clung to his clothing enveloping her.

Toddy appeared suddenly next to the open stairway. "Should Toddy take Miss from you, Master Snape?"

"No, Toddy, I'll see to Miss Granger."

Toddy watched his master carry the sleeping witch up the stairs, a small smile tugging at the corner of the elf's mouth. Maybe Miss Granger would not be the only human who was healing in the house.

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Three weeks seemed to pass in the blink of an eye with each day's progress more encouraging than that of the day before. She was stronger now, her legs no longer resembling those of a newborn calf.

And her magic was coming back.

She didn't want to admit how upset she'd been at the thought of losing it, knowing that by all rights she should have been dead or at the very least the newest resident of the Janus Thickey Ward at St Mungo's. But now that it was starting to come back, she allowed herself to admit her fears before moving on.

She started slow and considered it a major breakthrough the first time she was able to levitate her brush before working her way through a list of rudimentary spells, her excitement growing with each success. It had taken time, but she'd worked her way back up to more difficult charms and actions; practicing every day as her strength returned.

She looked up, her smile dazzling when she saw Severus in the doorway. "Watch. Accio brush." The brush crossed the room, its path wobbly as it flew into her open hand.

"Very good. How do you feel?"

"Honestly? Tired, but exhilarated at the same time! This means I didn't lose my magic."

"I should think at this rate you'll make a full recovery in no time." He moved to her bedside, his hand gentle as he raised her face, the calloused pads of his finger rubbing lightly against her skin.

His gaze was intense as he checked her eyes, watching the pupils as they dilated. He hesitated to enter her mind again, having no desire to encounter memories that would only serve to torment him further. As far as he could see, it would serve no purpose. It seemed the memories that had been torn from her mind centered on Lestrange and the final battle. Perhaps there were a few that may not have been as strong as before, but nothing that affected the witch's intelligence or abilities. Now it was a simple matter of healing, of allowing her body to repair itself.

"I think we should add a modified Invigoration Draught. It will give you added energy and may help to solidify your magic sooner. Perhaps if I started with a pomegranate base, or combined it with the Strengthening Solution..."

"Can I help you? If you recall, I used to be pretty good at potions. I could prepare some of the basic ingredients."

Severus stepped back and eyed Hermione's hopeful expression. Allowing her to work alongside him was wrong on so many levels. "I would have to have some type of recommendation from your previous Potions master before I could allow you access to my laboratory."

"And if I can't reach him?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Ah, then I'm afraid I can't grant your request."

"I see."

"Hermione, I'd rather you didn't wear yourself out."

"What if I promise to limit myself? I'll only help for an hour. Two at the most, then come right up here and take a nap. I promise."

He was becoming too comfortable around the witch. He had no right to invite her in when he should have been distancing himself even further from her. It was a mistake; one he knew could only end badly, definitely not a good idea to let her into his lab. "Fine, but if you get tired, I expect you to tell me."

"Thank you!" Impulsively, she hugged him.

He stiffened at the sudden contact, pulling back as if burned, all the while silently berating himself for his lapse in judgment.

"Uhm, sorry."

"Very well. Follow me."

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Once in the lab, a room magically enhanced to encompass his growing business, he directed her to a side table and the stool in front of it. Gathering several ingredients he needed, he gave her careful instructions as to their preparation and left her to the task. Begrudgingly, he answered her questions, explained the potions that were in various stages of completion, and maintained his distance.

This, too, became part of her daily routine.

She no longer needed constant exercise, choosing to spend her afternoons in the lab with Severus instead. Ginny had given her a funny look when Hermione had mentioned the change in her schedule during their weekly lunch date one afternoon, asking her what was going between her and Snape, not really accepting her friend's mumbled explanation either.

It was a few days later when Harry showed up to question her himself.

TBS