Fifteen for the Past

Chapter 18: Fifteen for the Past

The first Saturday of April flaunted its mild, pleasant temperatures with little modesty. The sky was so vibrantly blue it bordered on the absurd, demanding a second look from all who stepped outside. Spun-sugar clouds dotted the horizon like whitecaps breaking on an ocean of sky. The sun shone strong and proud, claiming victory over the endless assault of cold, wet weeks and basking Hermione in golden warmth as she made her way into Hogsmeade.

Yellow daffodils smiled a cheerful welcome when she entered the village. She'd been looking forward to meeting Luna in Diagon Alley long before she'd known the weather would be so cooperative. Luna's due-date was rapidly approaching, and a shopping trip for various baby necessities...plus lunch, of course...had been arranged weeks earlier.

Quaint buildings became a blur of spinning colours as she Disapparated. A symphony of city sounds soon filled her ears, signalling her arrival in Diagon Alley. Her shoulders dropped when she opened her eyes and discovered she'd left the pleasant weather far behind. Nothing but darkness met her, from the heavy rainclouds overhead to the temperaments of her fellow shoppers. A black-robed figure bumped into her, knocking her aside and hurrying past without apology. She glared at the retreating wizard's back as her mood soured.

By the time she entered Schitz & Drewls Baby Emporium, she was already calculating how long she'd need to stay in London before she could return to Hogwarts. She searched the store for Luna and tried to ignore the bizarre items lining the shelves. Pausing alongside a display of giant suction cups attached to multiples tubes and hoses, she wondered if shops like this intimidated all childless women. How could so many products be required for the care of one tiny, little baby?

A tug on her sleeve drew her attention, and she tore her gaze from the shelf. Luna's face glowed, and her eyes sparkled like perfect sapphires. Draco hadn't exaggerated how lovely she looked.

"Am I late?" Hermione asked after they embraced. She had intended to arrive at Schitz & Drewls early, hoping to suss out an appropriate baby gift.

"Not at all...I arrived early. I rarely shop without the girls. It's pleasant to browse without having to referee the fights."

"Ah, yes." She poked a cautious finger at the suction cups. "What are these?"

"Breast pumps."

Her expression must have relayed her horror, for Luna chuckled. "Not everyone uses them, but they can be convenient."

"Oh." She cast another dubious glance at the display, thinking they looked more like primitive torture devices than anything else. "I knew a mother would know."

Luna smiled. "Actually, I haven't a clue what half of this stuff is for."

The admission cheered her almost as much as the breast pumps had scared her. She strolled through the aisles with Luna, whose "bump" could no longer be blamed on pudding consumption. They stopped to admire a selection of enchanted rattles, listening to a variety of classical melodies playing with each shake. An assortment of impossibly small socks drew their attention next, and she couldn't resist the purchase.

"Pink or blue?" she asked Luna, holding up a pair of each. "Or would you prefer something less gender-specific?"

"Blue," replied Luna, a smile spreading across her face. "We opted to learn the baby's sex this time."

"A boy! Oh, congratulations, Luna. How exciting."

"Yes." The beauty of her smile was marred by the frown wrinkling her forehead.

"Is something wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Draco and I are thrilled to have a boy, of course. But we really didn't care, one way or another. We only decided to find out the sex in advance to see how much of the girls' old clothes we could reuse."

"Okay," she said, waiting for more. It was obvious something was still troubling her.

"It's just Draco's parents," she began, quickly amending, "not his parents...his father."

Her spine stiffened at the mention of Lucius. She wondered what he had done to cause her friend such consternation. "What about Mr Malfoy?" she prompted.

"Well, he's been very excited about having a grandson, which is lovely, of course. But it's nothing to do with the baby, I fear. It's all about carrying on the Malfoy name and having a male heir. It's a bit overwhelming at times. He can be so ... He's just so ..."

"Fanatical?"

"Yes! That's it, exactly. He's already given this baby far more attention than the girls."

"It's just a different mindset," she said, grasping for reassurance despite a heavy sense of foreboding. "Misogyny is strong in the older wizarding families."

"Yes, I've noticed that, too." Luna's hand rose to her stomach. She seemed unaware of the rhythmic circles she traced along the expanse as she stared into the distance. "I suppose it's time to remind my in-laws they'll have three lovely grandchildren, not one."

"Mmm. That sounds like a fun discussion."

Indignant on behalf of the twins, she endeavoured to purchase a simple trinket for each of the girls, hoping to balance the ever-growing stack of parcels for the new baby. She combed the aisles of Schitz & Drewls, but couldn't find any gifts suitable for two young ladies.

"I know just the place," exclaimed Luna, hastening their departure.

Balancing a sizable stack of bags and boxes, she followed Luna down the street and through a crowded doorway. A flash of flame-coloured hair across the room captured her gaze, and she blinked in wonder at the familiar sight of Ron Weasley. Luna had brought them to Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, and if the number of customers jostling her aside was any indication, the shop was quite successful.

While Luna left to peruse the shelves, she found a somewhat secluded spot for their parcels and watched Ron from a distance. He hadn't changed much in the decade since she'd last seen him. The bright red hair and freckles were the same, and only a hint of middle-aged paunch resided on his lanky frame. He stood behind the counter with a pretty young woman who nodded eagerly as he demonstrated a spell to operate the till. She tossed her long, blonde braid over her shoulder and whipped a wand from her pocket.

Hundreds of coins...a fountain of gold and silver and bronze...soared into the air when she jabbed her wand at the coffer. To his credit, Ron merely held his wand aloft, seemingly oblivious to the eruption of money. His silent charm acted like an invisible umbrella, protecting them from the heavy metals raining down. The young woman flew to the floor, her lovely face contorted with embarrassment. Ron just shook his head and gathered coins with a wave of his wand and an exasperated smile.

Crossing the busy shop, Hermione stood next to the queue and said, "Hello, Ron."

"Hey," he mumbled. His quick glance across the counter turned into a classic double take, and he stared at her, mouth agape. "Blimey!"

She laughed. "It's good to see you, too."

He stammered for a moment before replying, "Yeah. Wow! How are you?"

"I'm well, thanks. How are you? How is your family?"

The blonde woman rose, her hands full of coins. She glanced at Hermione and then at Ron, but he seemed unaware of her presence now.

"Great ... They're great! Everyone's married now. Well, everyone except Charlie and me." His cheeks turned scarlet. "They've all had kids, too. You should see the get-togethers at the Burrow...complete chaos."

The image made her smile. She turned her attention to the blonde woman, who appeared to be in her late twenties. It was easy to read the adoration and anxiety in her face as she watched Ron. Recalling his deplorable manners, she said, "Hi, I'm Hermione Granger. Ron and I were at Hogwarts together."

She held her breath when their gazes met. A pair of astonishingly purple eyes watched her, making her think of gardens filled with lilacs and violets. Having dabbled in genetics, she couldn't help wondering if the colour was natural or the result of spellwork.

"Oh, yeah," said Ron. He jerked his head to the side. "This is Penny. She worked at the inn back at Ottery St. Catchpole, but they dismissed her, so Mum sent her here."

The worship in Penny's amazing eyes turned to mortification.

Before he could further embarrass the woman, she said, "It's lovely to meet you, Penny. You have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen."

Ron turned and frowned as if he'd never considered Penny's eyes before.

"Thank you," said Penny while a demure blush crept onto her face. "It was an accident, really. My mum tried to colour my hair when I was little and botched the spell. She never tried to change them back for fear of blinding me. Or worse."

"You know, my mum's good with house and beauty spells," offered Ron. "She could probably fix them for you."

Hermione's heavy sigh drew his attention.

"What?" he asked.

"There's nothing to fix, Ronald...they're beautiful the way they are."

"Yeah, well, I didn't say they weren't."

"You implied as much by suggesting they should be repaired."

"I only meant Mum could change them back if she wanted."

"Yes, but why would anyone want to change something so lovely?

He jammed his hands into his pockets and shrugged. "I was just trying to be helpful."

"Helpful would be..."

The retort died on her lips when she saw the eyes in question watching them bicker. Taking a deep breath, she accepted that Ron's manners were no longer her concern. She supposed she should take comfort in knowing some things in life would never change.

"How are your mother and father?" she asked when the silence became awkward.

"They're okay. Getting on in years but still going strong. Dad's going to retire from the Ministry next year."

"Lovely. I'm sure he's looking forward to that."

"Yeah, except he's probably going to drive Mum daft."

She could only imagine the projects Mr Weasley had been planning for his retirement and didn't doubt Ron's prediction. "My sympathies to Mrs Weasley," she said with a laugh.

"She'll need them," he agreed. "You could give them to her in person, you know. I'm sure she and Dad would love to see you. And you could bring your husband," he added, making it sound like a question.

"Oh, um ... I never married." She glanced at Penny, who looked a bit distraught at the direction their conversation was taking.

"Really?" asked Ron, sounding surprised. He failed to notice Penny's shoulders sagging as she stared at her feet.

A soft voice floated on the air behind them. "But of course you would bring Severus with you, Hermione," said Luna.

Ron's snort of laughter drew a quizzical look from Luna as she joined them at the counter. "Hermione and Severus have been dating for several months," she elaborated with a serene smile. "We're all quite happy for them."

Hermione closed her eyes. "Wow, Luna," she said. "That's really not the way I had intended for people to learn of this."

Resigned, she opened her eyes to find Ron staring at her open-mouthed, a look of horror on his face.

"Snape?" he asked in obvious disbelief. "You're taking the piss, right?"

"Don't say that."

"Buggering hell, Hermione! He's ... he's ..." he spluttered, his eyes growing wild as he appeared to search for a suitably shocking phrase, "... He's a teacher!"

"As am I!"

"Well, you weren't when we were kids, and he was still a teacher then," he argued. "He's much too old for you!"

"He was semi-Petrified for the past fourteen years, you dolt. For all intents and purposes, he's only a few years older than us. Besides, I hardly think age is an appropriate measure for compatibility."

"I think it's romantic!" Penny chimed in.

"Romantic?" asked Ron with a sneer.

"Sure. He's a hero!" Penny's face grew almost as dreamy as Luna's. "Just imagine him lying alone in St Mungo's all those years ... Then he wakes up and finds love was waiting for him the whole time."

"I assure you it's nothing like that, Penny," she interjected quickly, watching Ron's face turn an unhealthy shade of green. "We happen to be colleagues who share similar interests and a mutual respect. That is all."

Ron excused himself on the pretence of assisting a customer, nearly bowling Penny over in his haste to exit the conversation.

"I think it's romantic, too," said Luna after he'd left.

"Let's find something for the girls," said Hermione.

The shelves of the joke shop were packed with an impressive assortment of gifts and toys. Miniature dragons breathed a variety of noxious odours while enchanted roses nipped the noses of anyone who tried sniffing them. A pair of matching Pygmy Puffs was eventually selected for the twins. Hermione left Luna at the counter and went in search of Ron.

She finally cornered him behind a rack of bubble-blowing wands. "It was good to see you again," she said. "Please give my regards to your parents."

"Right," he told her. He scratched his ear and frowned, placing his hand on her arm when she turned to leave. "Hermione, watch yourself with Snape, okay?" he implored. "I know everyone thinks he's a hero, but I don't trust him."

"You don't know him," she said, mirroring his frown.

"And you do?"

Heat coloured her cheeks. Could she truly claim to know Snape? Could anyone?

"I know I trust him," she said. The calm conviction in her voice wasn't half as shocking as the actual proclamation.

"So did You-Know-Who," he retorted, looking pained.

"And so did Dumbledore."

"Yeah, but Dumbledore was batty," he said. "I'm saying there was a reason You-Know-Who trusted Snape all those years. He did a lot of really bad things."

"It was war, Ron. He was a spy ... He had to do bad things."

"I dunno. Maybe." His shoulders rose and fell in slow motion. "But would you have been able to sit by and watch You-Know-Who murder innocent people without trying to stop him?"

She looked down, knowing the answer at once. Never comfortable with the necessity of sacrificing a few for the greater good of many, she would likely have made a dreadful spy. But Snape's ability to separate himself into those roles didn't necessarily make him evil. If terrible acts had to be committed to achieve a virtuous result, was the person performing the acts terrible or virtuous? She suspected a crowded joke shop was hardly the place to debate such topics.

"I understand your point. But we've all changed a great deal in the past fourteen years."

"People don't just stop being Death Eaters. There was something rotten in Snape long before he was a spy that made him do rotten things. That doesn't just go away because he's had himself a fourteen-year lie-in."

Closing her eyes, she thought about the rotten things she had done at Arglist and wondered if there was something fundamentally rotten inside her. What would Ron say if he knew she'd almost destroyed all future generations of Muggle-borns?

She spoke in a quiet voice. "We've all done rotten things."

He looked down quickly, perhaps remembering the time he'd abandoned their Horcrux search. "Just be careful, okay? I don't want to see you hurt."

"I'll be fine," she assured him. "I'd like to see you happy, as well." She glanced across the shop and saw Penny pretending not to watch them. A clatter filled the air when she saw them watching her and tried to duck out of sight, knocking over an entire canister of Vanishing Ink pens. "Purple-eyed witches don't come along very often, Ronald."

He shuffled his feet. "She's a sweet kid. Kind of needs someone to look after her."

Before she could volunteer him for the task, Luna appeared, reminding her she was eating for two and the lunch hour had almost passed. Gathering the parcels, she bid Ron a hasty farewell and waved to Penny before returning to Diagon Alley.

The grey skies had turned ominous. Angry clouds suffocated the daylight, coaxing shadows out of hidden corners and filling the streets with darkness. A solitary raindrop landed on her nose, a baleful warning from above. She had no sooner wiped it away than the entire sky split apart, delivering on its threat of an impending deluge. Conjured umbrellas and silent charms kept them dry, but she was relieved to see the sign for the Silver Chalice, grateful for the warmth that enveloped them as they stepped through the door.

A quiet attendant removed their cloaks and parcels while the maitre d' approached.

"Good afternoon, Mrs Malfoy," he said, bowing to Luna.

Seeing Luna addressed with such deference was an odd experience, but the fashionable restaurant was known for its superior service and decorum as well as exceptional food. It was one of the more exclusive establishments to have opened in Diagon Alley since the defeat of Voldemort, and reservations were exceedingly difficult to obtain.

They were ushered to a private table, and she realised how much respect the Malfoy name...or at least the Malfoy fortune...still claimed. Gilded mirrors covered the warm, wood-panelled walls as they passed through the main dining room and entered an area reserved for members.

Richer woods and more elaborate mirrors continued the theme, but the room was spared from darkness by the many glittering chandeliers hanging like crowns over each table. Crystal fobs sparkled amongst the candles, bathing the diners below in soft, shimmering light. A glass fireplace in the middle of the room was stunning in its transparency. Made entirely from thick, clear blocks, the structure had been charmed to withstand heat from the flames dancing merrily within, visible from all angles.

A Vivaldi concerto drifted in the background as they took their seats. "This is very swanky," she commented.

Luna glanced around the room as if startled by the observation. "Yes, I suppose it is," she agreed. "I've only dined here with Draco's parents, but the Sussex Pond Pudding is divine."

She couldn't help but giggle at that.

A waiter materialised and recommended the restaurant's acclaimed steak, kidney, and mushroom pie. It exceeded her expectations, and a sleepy contentment settled upon her as their dishes Vanished. While Luna savoured pudding, Hermione stirred her coffee and contemplated baby names with minimal sincerity.

"Do you suppose you and Severus will have children?" asked Luna.

If she hadn't been sipping her coffee, she might have avoided the fit of choking and coughing brought about by Luna's question. She waved off the waiter who had appeared...discreet towel in hand...to offer assistance. When she could breathe again, she shook her head and said, "It's doubtful."

Luna looked crestfallen. "Don't you want children?"

She considered for a moment. "I'm not sure. I always assumed I would have children one day, and the idea was not altogether unpleasant."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Yes, but do you want children?"

"It's difficult to say," she countered with a shrug. "I prefer to base my decisions on facts and experience, but I lack both in this case. I could only speculate on the things I'd need to sacrifice if I had a child: sleep, solitude, sleep, spontaneity, sleep."

"That's only when they're little babies."

"I'm sure you're right." She'd had this discussion before, albeit with herself, and it was never satisfying. "And I'm sure it's not all sacrifice. Parents must get something very special in return to make it worthwhile, or they wouldn't keep having children."

"Yes," agreed Luna with a happy sigh. "It is wonderful."

"I'll take your word for it. I can only guess at the negatives, I have nothing tangible for the positives, and there are multiple unknown variables."

"Oh, Hermione," Luna said, tilting her head. "It's not an equation, it's a baby!"

"Well, it doesn't matter anyway. I don't even know how to define my relationship with Severus...I'm certainly not ready to worry about children!"

Luna set her spoon aside and gazed across the table, her pale brows drawn together in question. "Have you told Severus you're in love with him yet?"

She was glad she hadn't been drinking her coffee again, grateful to avoid any further choking fiascos. "No," she answered, hoping Luna wouldn't press the subject.

"Why not?"

"I don't know," she said, quickly adding, "I don't know that I am in love with him." She wished she could make Luna appreciate how complicated this was.

"Why must you make everything so complicated?"

"I don't make them that way. They simply are that way."

"Hermione, love is the simplest...the easiest...thing in the world."

"Maybe for you ..."

"For everyone!" Luna yelled, slapping her hand on the table so hard coffee sloshed onto the tablecloth.

Her eyes widened at Luna's vehemence, and the few remaining diners cast curious glances their way. She couldn't remember a single instance when Luna had so much as raised her voice in the past.

Luna seemed equally surprised by her outburst. "Oh!" she exclaimed and covered her mouth with both hands. She stared across the table with eyes so large they could belong to a house-elf, a look of utter shock upon her face.

Hermione remembered how serious Draco had been when he'd spoken of his refusal to argue with his pregnant wife. At the thought of Luna frightening Draco into silence, a small giggle escaped her throat. The sight of Luna's stunned expression elicited another, and soon Luna lowered her hands and joined in the merriment. Their laughter became contagious, feeding on itself, making conversation impossible. They were still chuckling when a familiar voice interrupted them.

"What a delightful scene," said Lucius Malfoy from behind her chair.

Her gaze flew to one of the many mirrors decorating the walls. All traces of mirth vanished when she saw him watching her, a triumphant smile lighting his face.

"Oh!" said Luna. "Has anything happened with the girls?"

"I'm afraid so," he said. "They're both fine, but there was an unfortunate incident with a Disillusionment Charm. We can hear them, but we simply cannot find them."

"Oh, dear. I'm so sorry, Dad," Luna apologised.

Watching in the mirror, she saw him bristle at Luna's choice of honorific.

"Not to worry, Luna. But Narcissa was hoping you would be so kind as to return to the Manor. Perhaps the girls will listen to their mother and reveal themselves."

Luna looked across the table and frowned.

"You should go," she reassured her, waving away her concern. "We were finished, anyway."

"Excellent," said Lucius. "You can use the fireplace in the manger's office to Floo directly to the Manor. I've already had your parcels sent along."

"Thank you so much," Luna said and rose from the table.

Hermione attempted to stand as well, but she was stopped by Lucius's hand on her shoulder.

"I feel terrible for interrupting your outing, Luna," he said, his tone obsequious. "I hope it eases your mind to know I will assume your duties here and do my best to entertain your charming companion."

Hermione's derisive snort was covered by the manager's arrival. She said goodbye to Luna and watched her departure in the mirror, her dread building. Then she willed herself to meet Lucius's gaze, fighting the urge to flee from his satisfied smile as he took Luna's vacated chair.

Somehow, she just knew this wasn't going to end well.

A/N: Thanks ever so much to my lovely, lovely betas and Brit-picker ... The amazing Karelia, the fabulous little_beloved, and the hypnotic lettybird.