Jealousy

A/N: An extra long update for everyone. This fic has broken 300 reviews and I am honored. I am so happy this story is being enjoyed so much! Special thanks to Southern Witch who pointed out a few beta errors to me, and hugs to my faithful beta, MadBrilliant, who worked on this while very sick with a head cold. You're the greatest!

***

Severus sat alone in his office when there was a rap on the door.

"Enter," he muttered.

Professor Holden walked inside.

Severus glanced up from his paperwork. "May I be of assistance, Professor Holden? Has one of my Slytherins run amuck?

She smiled. "No, Headmaster. I wanted to plan a time to discuss with you the rules and various things you wanted me to know about your house."

Severus smirked. "Come now, Miss Holden, it is your house now! You are in charge, not I."

"Please, Headmaster, can you call me Samantha in private? I understand the need for decorum in front of the students, but when it is just the staff, can you just call me by my given name?" she asked.

He frowned, but then relented. "Fine, but there shall be no reciprocity! You shall refer to me as Professor Snape or Headmaster. I shall meet you in the Slytherin common room tonight and go over some things with you. Now, Miss...uh, Samantha, you weren't here living in our country during Voldemort's reign of terror or the war. There is much for you to learn about the various prejudices of the Wizarding world here. Yet, from what I've heard about Americans, your Muggle society has their own issues with prejudice." He motioned her to take a seat.

"True," she admitted. "Yet, I have to admit, I don't know much about this whole "pure-blood, Muggle-thing."

He studied her for a bit and then spoke with reserve. "I must say I was very shocked to see you sorted into Slytherin, being that you are Muggle-born. It is unheard of! But perhaps it is a sign that things are changing."

"Well, Headmaster, I honestly don't know if I am truly a 'Muggle-born' or not. I was raised in a group home for orphans until I was adopted when I was five. So, I could be anything, I suppose," she confided.

"Interesting," Severus mused as he traced one finger around the sides of his mouth. He stared off for a bit, but came back into focus. "Well, I shall see you at seven o'clock in the common room, then."

"Fine," she replied as she stood up and walked out. As she did, Hermione was coming up the stairs.

***

Hermione walked in Severus' office as Samantha walked out. Samantha gave a nod and a polite "Hello." Hermione started to get riled.

"What did Professor Holden want?" she asked innocently, trying to keep her rancor under control.

He was back to work behind his desk and did not hear his wife speaking to him. He was so busy these days it was unbelievable that he wasn't killing himself from all the responsibility.

He dropped his quill and rubbed his eyes. "I really have to hire a Potions master," he sighed. "I just can't keep up with all of this anymore."

"Severus, did you even hear me?" she asked again angrily.

"What? I'm sorry, Hermione. I just don't have the time," he apologized hastily.

"But you have all the time in the world for Professor Holden!" she snapped.

He looked up her as if she were insane. Then the realization that had dawned upon him from their previous argument crept across his face.

"Aha, so are you finally going to tell me what this is all about?" he asked smugly as he rested his hands behind his head.

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. Bastard! "This has nothing to do with anything other than the fact you seem to have all the time in the world for your newest Slytherin, yet you can't spare a moment for your wife!"

"I'd like to think of you as the Charms instructor during the day, my dear. It makes things less complicated. If you are having a problem with the brats in your classroom, I have all the time you need. However, after hours, you are my wife and you know as well as I do, I do not like to bring work into our bed. So, I would appreciate you not bringing our bed into our work," he replied smoothly.

Hermione was at a loss. She felt so out of her league at times with him! And why shouldn't she? He was after all twenty years her senior, and although an attraction existed before they were forced into marriage, still the fact that it was a marriage that was orchestrated by the Ministry and necessitated by Hogwarts magnified all of Hermione's insecurities about being Snape's wife.

He regarded her, standing there looking lost, when she only wanted to look calm and in control. He waited for her to rail at him, to scream or just blurt out what the problem was, but she seemed still unable to articulate it. He sighed and picked up his pen. She slowly turned around to leave.

"Hermione," he called out to her.

She turned around, hopeful that he would say something to assuage her mind.

"Obviously, you came here for something. What is it?" he asked softly.

"I just decided to come up here for my free hour instead of my office. I thought perhaps there was something you might want to say to me or discuss..." Her voice trailed off.

"Hermione, I know that you cried yourself to sleep last night, and it bothered me a great deal. I am willing and ready to hear anything you have to say to me. Let's talk tonight, after the day's work is done," he offered.

"Okay," she agreed as she nodded. She slowly turned and made her way towards the door. As soon as she placed her hand on the knob, he was there, his hand on hers. She jerked away and turned around, her back to the door and her husband looming over her. He was looking at her suggestively, and she blushed.

He placed his hand under her chin and raised it up to face him. She looked sad and frightened. He couldn't understand why! After all the physical and emotional intimacy they had shared, why did it seem they were back at the beginning? Damn!

He leaned in and whispered, "May I give my wife a kiss?"

"Won't that disrupt your need to compartmentalize your life? I'm the Charms instructor, after all, not your wife!" she retorted coolly.

He smirked. "Yes, but perhaps I feel like kissing the Charms instructor. She is, after all, the most delectable witch around," he said huskily.

She wanted nothing more than to point out all the flaws in his reasoning, but she loved that he had complimented her so highly. She smiled in spite of herself, and he grasped her body, holding her firmly to him. He gave her a searing kiss that he hoped would leave no doubt in his wife's mind that she was the only witch for him. She responded eagerly to his kiss, and when they broke apart, she was glassy-eyed and had a very dreamy look on her face.

"Oh, dear," he murmured as he gazed at her.

"What?" she asked, snapping a bit out of her dream-like state.

"Well, that's better. But you should clear your mind, Hermione. It would not do for your next class to be sniggering behind their textbooks about how their teacher looks like she has been snogged senseless!" he warned her.

She slipped out, unable to retort. She was fast becoming an idiot! What happened to the Hermione that had no qualms whatsoever about calling him an "evil bat"? She knew the answer of course! It all came down to her deep insecurities about sex. She went to her office and dove into her work. She would talk to him tonight after curfew. That's what she would do!

***

It was 9:30pm and Hermione was fuming! It was not Severus' night for rounds; she had already checked her Gryffindors for the night and had even talked with little Colleen Creevey about her brother Colin's death. She was having quite the time about it. It was better now that she was here with Dennis, but she had been such a pet of her eldest brother, she cried nearly every day over her loss of him.

After getting her in bed, she had rushed back to their quarters, thinking that Severus would be fuming at her tardiness. He was such a stickler for punctuality! Instead, the rooms were empty. He wasn't here! She decided to go to the dungeons. Perhaps there was some urgent need for a potion that had come up. Maybe he got caught up with all the work he had juggling the two roles of being Headmaster and Potions master.

The classroom and his office he used to meet his students specifically for classroom problems were empty. She had absolutely no idea where he could be. Then she heard voices from outside the classroom. She extinguished the lights and cast a Disillusionment spell over her and followed the sounds of the voices. There was Astoria Greengrass, a seventh-year Slytherin, with another younger Slytherin girl whose name she could not recall. They were heading from the Slytherin common room to somewhere.

"...don't understand how we got that Mudblood as Head of our house!" Astoria was saying.

"They seemed to be rather chummy!" sneered the other girl.

"Well, Snape does have a thing for Mudbloods, doesn't he? After all, he married one! Oh, I wish I could see the look on that slag's face if she caught the two of them there!" She laughed at the thought.

"Granger thinks she's got old Snape wrapped around her finger! I wonder if someone should tell her he's shagging that Mudblood Yank on the side!" Astoria jeered.

Hermione was incensed. Where in the bloody hell were they? In the common room? She would kill him and then her. She was blind with jealous rage. She didn't know the password, but being Deputy Headmistress had its perks. She walked through the door and scanned the room. There in a corner of the room sat her husband with that-that whore! She Dissolusioned herself and walked in carefully, listening into their conversation.

"I'm confused, what are you trying to say?" Professor Holden was asking him.

"It doesn't matter," he said absentmindedly. "The point is that she needs to leave. She needs to go, and then things will be the way they should be. Don't concern yourself about the other evening. I will speak with her. Just don't say anything, I don't want her suspecting."

"Alright," she answered.

At that moment, Hermione whispered a "Finite Incantatum" and marched over to them. They stood up quickly as Hermione went right into a full-blown pique of rage.

"What don't you want me suspecting?" Hermione yelled at the two.

"Oh, shit!" Professor Holden breathed as she shielded her eyes from the two. She tried to ease her way out of the room and was greeted with a wand to her throat.

"How dare you fuck my husband, you bitch!" Hermione screeched.

"Hermione!" bellowed Severus. "Enough! Professor Holden, you may leave." He summoned Hermione's wand from her hand, and she stood there shaking and glowering at her husband. Samantha maneuvered her way past the irate witch and fled the scene.

"Give me back my wand, Severus!" she warned as she walked slowly towards him.

"Why? So you can go about the castle hexing innocent women at will?"

"That...that witch is not innocent!" Hermione thundered. "How could you? How could you after everything we've been through and the..." She stopped, unable to say what she wanted. She burst into tears and ran out of the common room. Severus strode after her into the hallway. "Hermione, you will not act this way!" he hissed at her through clenched teeth.

"NO!" she screamed at him furiously.

He was taken aback by her rage. She was seething with anger and jealousy.

He came to himself and grabbed her roughly by the arm. She tried to free herself from his grip, but he had an iron hold on her arm that was painful. He dragged her out of the dungeons and back to their quarters. She tried to say something, and he turned viciously on her.

"Don't you say one word!" he growled dangerously.

When they reached the privacy of their quarters, Severus rounded on her.

"What the hell did you think you were doing? You realize don't you that every Slytherin heard that disgusting display! It will be all over the school and probably will be in the Daily Prophet before next week's end! Damn it!" he raged.

"Don't you make this out to be my fault, Severus Snape!" Hermione screeched. "I heard Astoria Greengrass and another girl talking about how you're shagging that slag behind my back! Your precious Slytherins already know about you and her and are laughing their heads off!"

"Hermione," Severus began angrily, "you must listen..."

"NO!" she hollered. "You are going to listen to me! Do you have any idea how difficult it's been for me since we've been married? I'm constantly wondering if I measure up or if all of the witches who are fawning all over you will finally catch your eye. I'm surrounded by more 'experienced' witches who, by the by, can have vaginal orgasms at the drop of a hat! Not to mention that I find you canoodling with that American...in the Slytherin common room?"

Her voice grew quiet. "How could you do it?" she heard herself whisper. "How could you humiliate me in front of my students? I know I shouldn't blame you, it's me! I am aware that I'm defective. Breasts too small, hips too narrow, not pretty or sexy. I guess it was just a matter of time before you got tired of me and went after a woman who has a body for days!"

Hermione's eyes started to tear up and voice began to shake. "It's j-just that w-we did things, i-intimate things, and I can't believe you would do them with another woman!" She burst out crying at the end and slumped down on their bed.

Severus walked over to his wife and knelt down at her knee. This was serious, far more serious than he'd realized! God, I'm no good at this shite! I'm going to have to speak with Rosie. Why do women have to be so bleeding emotional?

He steeled his voice. "Hermione, listen to me. I am your husband, and although it wasn't our intention to marry under such circumstances, we did it anyway, for Hogwarts. However, loving you has nothing to do with this school, and as for defective, I don't think you are defective. You're just new at this, and we have a lot of things to figure out. People just don't normally start having sex when they are virgins and have the same experiences as those who have been at it for years." He sighed in frustration and confusion. There was so much to untangle, he didn't have the time or the energy to deal with her insecurities. I should be the offended one! She accused me of cheating! He stood up and began to pace the room. He tried to check his temper, but finally lost it.

He rounded on her and roared, "I am not having an affair, damn it! Miss Holden and I were meeting about things she needed to be aware of, now that she is Head of Slytherin!"

"What was all that talk about her not worrying about things, and that you'd take care of it, and I need to leave?" she shot back at him.

"Hermione, I was going to suggest you go to Australia and recover your parents! You miss them. Your life has been ripped to shreds, and you've been frantically trying to put the pieces back to together!" he snapped. "Your old life is gone. It's time for you to grieve it and get on with things. Having your parents back, I think, might help you. There is only so much I can do," he said crossly.

She stood up and confronted him. "Why the bloody hell were you talking to her about me? About things she knows nothing about. Things that are personal and private for me...for us!"

He turned in frustration to leave and decided to turn back and confront her. "Why didn't you tell me about that night at Rosmerta's? Why did I have to hear about my wife not feeling...satisfied...in bed from other people! Why haven't you been honest with me?

She looked up at him sorrowfully. "Severus, I'm sorry. I just feel so insecure around these women. They know things I don't...they are able to do things I can't, things I know a man wants."

"When have you ever heard me complain? Have I ever told you I didn't want you? Have I ever once rejected your affections? NO! Why? Because I love you. YOU. Miss Granger. I fell in love with you before I married you, and I waited patiently for you." He took her face in his hands and kissed her tenderly on the mouth. "Each time you've let me touch you is heaven itself," he whispered. "I love you, Hermione!" he said firmly.

She pulled back and asked, "I'm not as developed as other women are. Are you sure I'm enough?"

He sighed and closed his eyes. "Hermione, you're more than enough."

***

She wanted to believe him, she really did, but as she thought about it, she just couldn't see why he would not want someone more enticing and sexual. The days went on, and Hermione watched over the women with an eagle eye. Whispers from the students made her feelings of being not good enough worse. She found herself staring at Samantha and the others, envying their bodies and charm. They moved so gracefully, and their robes were so attractive and showed their figures beautifully.

One day, she went out walking to clear her head when she heard strange noises from the direction of the forest. She was curious but didn't want to spy on anyone. Her curiosity won out, and she walked cautiously towards the noises she was hearing. She was shocked! There was Professors Holden and Selinski having sex! She watched as he took her against a tree, her naked legs were wrapped around him and she was screaming like he was killing her. Maybe, he's raping her! she thought desperately. But just then, Samantha grabbed his face and was kissing him passionately. Whatever he was doing, she was approving! Hermione was fascinated. He was really being rough with her, and she loved it.

She was so mesmerized by the sight that she didn't hear Professor Beauharnis sneak up behind her and whisper,

"It looks like he's giving her the high, hard one, eh?"

Hermione jumped two feet and landed on her arse, screeching, "What the hell?"

"Quiet!" Emilie shushed her as she helped her up from the ground. "Don't interrupt!"

"We should leave," Hermione said, suddenly feeling ashamed that she had been caught watching another couple having sex. She hung her head and averted her eyes.

"Oh, Hermione!" Emilie said soothingly. "Watch and learn! Maybe you'll see something you can use on your husband!"

She was unabashedly unashamed. Hermione looked at Emilie and saw she was intently scrutinizing their technique. She started looking again, and it seemed that Samantha was having orgasms in waves.

"What is he doing?" she whispered.

Emilie was smiling.

"Putain de Merde!" she breathed. She noticed Hermione and said, "She is one lucky witch! That wizard can really lay wand! She's having multiple orgasms. Hmm, perhaps I should try up against a tree!" she mused. "It would probably be easier to hit the spot that way."

"The spot?" Hermione asked in confusion.

"Oh! They're done! Dépêchez-vous!" she ordered.

They took off and let the couple retreat in peace.

As soon as it was safe to talk, Hermione asked Emilie again, "What spot?"

Emilie looked at Hermione curiously. "You mean the Headmaster hasn't been doing it right?" she teased.

Hermione was affronted. "My husband is a satisfactory lover!" she announced protectively.

Emilie could sense she had hurt the young witch's feelings. She considered her face and saw it: the frustration, the anger, and the hopelessness. She decided the young witch might need a woman-to-woman talk.

"You know, Hermione, sometimes I think we forget how young you are," she said, trying to feel out the situation.

Hermione nodded as she walked on. "I'm nineteen," she offered.

Emilie nodded. "I'm twenty-five, and I've been having sexual relations since I was sixteen. I remember how it was with my first lovers! I didn't know anything!" she laughed as she reminisced.

Hermione stopped walking at looked at her intently. Emilie took the young witch's hand in her own and urged her to walk with her.

She continued with her recollections. "Phillipe, my first, was okay. He was kind and loving, but we were both virgins and didn't know anything except what our bodies were screaming for. He was considerate and was very open-minded. He loved pleasuring me with his mouth, and he knew about the wonderful orgasms a woman could have by manipulating the clitoris. He was fortunate that I that discovered it on my own and showed him where it was and how I liked to be touched. Yet, sex was not as explosive as I had heard other women talk about it. I suppose our discussion at the Three Broomsticks must have been strange for you, being newly married."

Hermione acquiesced. "Well, it was confusing. I mean, I never did anything before I was married except kiss one boy. It took time for us to get comfortable that way. We were married so fast, but we were attracted to each other. It's just we didn't have the usual courting and all that," she confided nervously.

"I knew you and the Headmaster had married on the insistence of the Ministry. I felt so sad for you. The Headmaster is twenty years older, an ex-Death Eater, and you were so young. Has it been difficult for you?" she asked.

Hermione stiffened. She didn't know if she could trust the young woman. The last thing she wanted to do was to let the buxom, blonde bombshell know about her deficiencies. She could see it now, Oh, poor Professor Snape! He needs a real woman to take care of him!

Emilie was smarter than what Hermione credited her. She saw through the young woman's façade.

She decided to continue with her story. "Well, there was Jean-Marc. He was a selfish cochon! Yet, he was insatiable in bed, non? He knew how to take every part of my vagina. He awoke feelings I didn't even know existed!"

She laughed suddenly and took Hermione's hand into the crook of her arm and leaned into her.

"I remember we were fucking and I thought I was going to urinate everywhere! I started to tense up and he would have none of it. He was such a selfish bastard! He just drove me into the mattress, and I came like a fountain!"

Hermione turned and gaped at the woman. She had just described her problem.

"You are fortunate, Madam Snape, that you husband respects you. I would bet that he stops when you say 'no,' oui?"

"Of course! He is very respectful. Um, Emilie, was what you said true? Did you feel like you were going to urinate?"

"Of course! It is simple anatomy. A woman's sweet spot connects somehow to the nerves that connect to the bladder. It is a false feeling. At first it is strange and uncomfortable, but after enough time, it can be overridden and then...Oh là là!" she said saucily.

Hermione decided to trust the Frenchwoman. "It's really good with Severus, but then he starts going so fast and deep. I feel I have to go to the bathroom, and I tense up. I just want it to be over. I'm scared I'll actually pee on him!" she whispered.

Emilie smiled and nodded. "And how does your husband respond? Does he get angry...make you continue when you don't want to?"

"No, no!" she replied fervently. "He is very understanding. I was a virgin, and it took time to get to the point of consummating the marriage. It is good, but I just feel there should be more. When you were talking about your experiences, I thought, there must be something wrong with me. I mean, I want what I saw Samantha was experiencing!" Hermione stopped, ashamed that she had revealed so much. She didn't want anyone to think Severus wasn't good in bed. It was her.

"Emilie, it's not his fault. It's me. There is something wrong with me...I know it. I wish...I wish I were more buxom and filled out like you are," she admitted sadly.

Emilie stopped and looked at the young witch. "Hermione, bigger is not always better. Men are not all the same. Some men love small breasts and large nipples. Some like large breasts and small nipples. Some like small breasts and small nipples! There is nothing wrong with you, Hermione. You just are feeling inadequate because you have an ideal of what you 'should' be. But, don't worry, every woman has been there."

"Even you?" she asked timidly.

"Oui! It took years before I found a lover who could bring out the wildness inside me. It wasn't so much the man though, Hermione. I had to be comfortable with myself. I hated my breasts! I would have rather had smaller ones like yours. They are pert and lovely. I bet Severus can take your whole breast in his mouth, yes?"

Hermione flushed beet red.

Emilie laughed. "Do you know how erotic that can be? I can see how a wizard like the Headmaster would enjoy taking you. He is a very sensual man. You just have to let it happen, stop thinking so much about what you aren't. He is enthralled with you. He loves you, Hermione." She paused for a moment. "Do you fantasize?"

Hermione was shocked. "I-I don't know," she stuttered.

"Sure, you do. Do you fantasize about your husband?"

"Yes," she mumbled, clearly embarrassed over it.

"Write down your fantasies and slip them to your husband. It will drive him wild! Let him know you want him to make you feel how it can be: sex with abandon. Tell him you want him to dominate you, drive you into a puddle of lust. Whatever scenario or positions...just tell him! Trust me, he wants to know. It was so long before I experienced vaginal orgasms, Hermione. It takes time and you are a healthy, young woman. You just need practice."

She left her then, and Hermione thought long and hard about what Emilie had told her. She did have fantasies about Severus. Many had to do with the snarky Potions master she had known all her life taking her mercilessly in the potions lab, growling filthy words in her ear. She wanted him to make her scream as she saw Samantha screaming. Well, at least she knew Severus wasn't giving Samantha the "high, hard one!" Professor Selinski was doing a decent job of it from what she could tell!

Putain de Merde: roughly, as Ron would say, "Bloody hell!" It could also be even more vulgar.

Dépêchez-vous!: Hurry up!

Cochon: Pig