...Facing New Fears

A/N: Okay, y'all, I am doing this from Italy and on my brother-in-law's personal computer that is in Italian. Do I speak Italian?...no! Therefore, what we have here is an amalgamation of which Dr. Frankenstein would have been proud. I can't begin to tell you how thrilling it is to know my little rabid mutant bunny blossomed into a story that so many of you are liking. Many thanks to my darling beta, MadBrilliant, and to all of you! Now, on to the LEMONS!!!

***

She loved how he made her feel. He was so entrancing in his affections. He stripped her bare and laid her on their bed as he hovered over her in his black robes. She felt so vulnerable, being naked while he was fully clothed, but it increased her desire for him. He lowered himself slowly down her stomach, kissing his passageway downwards, and urged her to open her thighs for him. Hermione immediately propped herself up on her elbows and watched in disbelief as her husband splayed his hands onto her inner flesh. Hermione felt her heart race as she felt his lips—those warm lips that had kissed her mouth until she was mindless—brush against the most sacred and intimate part of her. Hermione felt she had been seared and branded. She heard words fall from her lips that were base and guttural. At first, she felt a small part of her mind cringe as she continued to moan and pant from the pleasure she was experiencing, but soon it was banished.

Severus didn’t seem to mind her dirty talk at all—in fact, it seemed to spur him on to give her more until she literally squealed. She felt a building, a pulling from deep inside that exploded. All thought and meaning was contained in a tiny place between her legs where her husband worshiped. She felt scandalous. What he had done to her had to have been indecent, dirty, and very naughty. If so, that was what she wanted to be for always. She was done with waiting. This was it. She grabbed him by the arms and pulled him up to face her.

“Clothes. Off. Now!” she demanded.

He smiled and began to undress. She was tingling all over. This is it! I can’t believe it—and I didn’t need the lingerie after all!

He kissed and nipped at her dusky peaks until she started wiggling underneath him in eager anticipation. He positioned himself between her legs and asked once more, “Are you sure, we don’t have to if you’re not ready.”

“Yes, yes! Please go on!” she breathed impatiently.

He looked serious for a moment, and then she felt burning pressure. She felt her eyes scrunch up in pain, and Severus was whispering in her ear to just breathe. She tried, but the tightening feeling was growing, and she felt like she was suffocating. She tried looking at him, but he was so close, and his eyes were so piercing, she felt over-whelmed.

“It hurts,” she whimpered.

“I know,“ he whispered sympathetically as he stroked the hair from her face. “Just try to relax and know I care for you.”

She nodded and felt him break into her. She stiffened but it wasn’t too painful. It was the pressure, stretching, and fullness that was uncomfortable and threatened to squeeze the air from her. Severus had stilled while she struggled to breathe. Once she began to calm down, he started to stroke slowly and deftly. As he shifted inside her, moving back and forth, she heard him panting and moaning in her ear.

“So good…”

“So tight…”

He picked up the rhythm, and she felt a pleasant sensation of being carried along as he moved in her. She finally opened her eyes to watch him, and he suddenly hiked her up by the underside of her knees, and he drove deeper into her.

“Severus, stop,” she said suddenly.

“What?” he said huskily.

“I need to go to the loo!”

“Shhh, go with it,” he whispered.

“No! I don’t feel comfortable, please stop!” she said as clenched her vaginal muscles around his shaft. He emitted a choke of pleasure, and Hermione didn’t realize her clenching was driving him over the edge.

Severus was shaking, trying to hold himself back. “Hermione, I can’t—I—so long since...”

Hermione closed her eyes as he convulsed over her, breathing her name. She suddenly felt a rush of lust come over her. It felt wonderful, knowing she had made her husband feel so good. The way he whispered her name against her lips was like a confirmation of sorts. He was hers, as she was his. She was just very confused over how she had felt so strange when it should have felt so right. Hermione felt she had rushed him, that she had ruined everything.

She turned to her side after he withdrew from her and shied from him as he tried to embrace her.

“Hermione?” he asked.

“I’m sorry!” she said as she burst out crying.

Severus turned her to him and held her in his arms as she cried.

“I’m sorry!” she whispered against his chest.

“Don’t, Hermione. No, I should have stopped. Please don’t cry. It’s my fault!”

“No, it’s okay, it’s not that—that was thrilling! I could feel your passion flowing into me. I just felt so strange and uncomfortable just before… I should have joined you, and I ruined it. I guess it’s something I’ll have to get used to,” she said sadly.

Severus held her and felt like the world’s biggest arse. His precious wife, who had given him so much of her body now berated herself for something she didn’t yet understand.

“Hermione, the first time is difficult, but we’ll learn together, okay?”

She looked up at him, her wet brown eyes clung to his black ones. He was so concerned! He stroked her hair and held her until she slept.

***

The next day, she looked at their bed sheets and saw all the blood there. She was embarrassed and flung the duvet over on top of it. She took a long, hot shower. She felt an ache in her abdomen all day. She sat in her office, worked on her lesson plans, and ate lunch and dinner with the new staff. The three Frenchwomen were the center of attention as Alun Ketsall and Stan Shunpike made arses of themselves over them. Alun had been sorted earlier in the day, Severus told her over dinner, and he was a Gryffindor.

“But I’m not about to have him be Head of Gryffindor house over you,” he murmured confidentially as he watched in disgust over the young man’s attempt to work his own unique magic on the young beauties. Hermione thought it was funny. She and Poppy had a hard time not laughing outright at both of the young wizards.

“Well, we shall see tomorrow how the American and Durmstrang Professors do,” Hermione said brightly.

“Umm,” was his reply. She knew that meant he didn’t hold out much hope. She knew as well as he did that the two wizards from Bulgaria would be nothing other than Slytherins. It was the American witch that would be the deciding factor.

They continued the discussion back in his office. “I truly hope this Miss Holden turns out to be a Slytherin. I don’t know if I could bear having to turn over Slytherin house to a Durmstrang dunderhead!” he growled.

It was a concern Hermione held as well. Well, they would just have to wait it out. Hermione hoped the American witch would be nice. The three Frenchwomen were just, so, perfect! She just didn’t feel good enough to be near them.

She had been extremely quiet today and knew that her silence was not lost on her husband. She felt her first attempt at lovemaking had been a complete failure. She felt if it had been a test, she would have received a big, fat “T” for her lack of ability. She was also angry for feeling so low about herself. This wasn’t her! Hermione Granger was a very smart, capable, and resourceful young witch! But, that wasn’t it. Until now, sex hadn’t been a component in her self-esteem. Sure, she had felt bad at times when she had been younger for not being as buxom as Lavender Brown, or as at ease with being flirtatious as Pavarti; but she had been far too busy being adored by Ron before the final battle (although she didn’t feel the same way), and had been cared for so unconditionally by Harry, that she had not thought about these issues. Now, she was married, and she had pushed herself into sex before she was emotionally ready because she had been scared of three blonde women that her husband didn’t give two figs about!

Later that night as she brushed out her hair, Severus came in from finishing his paperwork for the day and stood leaning against the doorjamb watching her plait her hair absent-mindedly.

“Hermione, why have you been so quiet today? Is there a problem you need to discuss?” he asked quietly.

“N-No,” she quaked. “I mean, I have a lot on my mind, and I am feeling confused about things.”

He looked worried. “Are you in pain?” he asked nervously.

“A little,” she whispered as she focused on her hands in her lap, "but it’s almost gone now. It was just an achy feeling, not real pain.”

“Hermione," Severus began as he crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "I think we were hasty last night, and I feel very responsible,”

She turned around in her chair to face him and shrugged her shoulders. “I just feel like I failed. It’s just—complicated and new and—I don’t know,” she whispered.

“Hermione, I will understand if you don’t wish to be married to me anymore. You deserve to be with someone that you want to make love with. I obviously am not the one that can give you what you need.” His hair was falling forward and hid his face from her.

She walked over and knelt in front of him. She took his face in her hands. “No, Severus. I love you. I guess I’m just not good at sex. I want to be!” She took his hands into hers. “I guess we will have to work on it.”

He smiled weakly, and she stood up and straddled his lap. “Please come to bed and hold me?” she asked sweetly.

Severus looked into his wife’s face. She was so beautiful. He felt like a complete arse for how things ended last night. He was so glad she wanted to try again. He didn’t think he could bear it if he lost her now, not after all they had gone through together. He took off his clothes and climbed into bed with his wife. He held her warm body next to his, her small, lovely breasts pressed against him and her wild hair draped over him.

“I don’t think you are bad at sex. I think you are wonderful,” he whispered shyly as he kissed her hair. Severus counted himself a lucky wizard. Finally, he had a woman who wanted him inside her, to taste her, and to love her in return. Yes, Severus loved her. This was heaven…

***

Husband and wife stood together as a witch walked determinedly towards them from the Apparition point at the Hogwarts boundary line. Hermione was very excited and curious about meeting the witch from America, especially since she was to be the new Transfiguration Professor and had a stellar reputation amongst her American colleagues. She was very career oriented and was considered to be the best in her field. She was very ambitious, but fair-minded and got along well with her colleagues. Severus and Hermione counted themselves fortunate that she had offered to come help Hogwarts in her time of desperate need. She was going to have large shoes to fill, though. Minerva McGonagall had been more than just a Transfiguration professor; she had been an institution in her own right. And Hermione Snape was going to make sure she lived up to McGonagall’s standards.

As Professor Samantha Holden came closer, Hermione’s stomach began to slowly plummet. It was plain as she walked closer how pretty she was. She had wavy brown hair, a fresh, happy face not trussed up with make-up, and wore very flattering robes that showed an ample figure. Ample, meaning where it counted, all the other parts of her seemed trim and fit. She was, in fact, pretty much everything that Hermione might have looked like if her body had done what she had wanted and had developed. It was a living nightmare.

Oh, she is nice enough, Hermione thought coolly as she observed her. She was chatty and polite. She drew everyone into conversation and seemed interested in everyone sitting at the Head Table. The three Frenchwomen, as Hermione silently called them in her head, were not so impressed. They looked at her the same way they looked at Hermione. She was affable, professional, and just plain nice. Damn it!

Hermione was scared. Each time Professor Holden even so much as looked at Severus, Hermione wanted to throttle her. She kept thinking about how lovely her figure was and glanced down at her own figure and sighed. What was she going to do?

***

Husband and wife sat in his office, working silently on their separate teaching plans. Every once in a while, Hermione would glance at Severus as he sat hunched over his desk, writing furiously as he was wont to do. After an hour, she was finished for the day, and she stretched out on the couch, waiting for her husband to finish. She lay there watching him, studying the wizard who had become her husband.

“Hermione, you’re staring,” he said in an annoyed tone.

“Sorry, I just like watching you work,” she admitted.

“Whatever for?” he asked, shocked, but still not looking at her.

“I don’t know,” she said uncomfortably.

“Severus, what do you think of Professor Holden?” she finally asked.

“I don’t think of her. I don’t know the woman. She’s a fine professor from what her references and credentials say. Other than that, time will tell,” he said sharply, not looking up at her even once.

Suddenly, he frowned and jerked his head up from his writing. “Why did you ask me that?”

“No reason,” she mumbled.

“Hermione,” he said as he rubbed his forehead. “I don’t have time for this. What is it? And don’t lie to me—you are terrible at it!” he warned.

“She’s pretty,” she whispered.

“Yes, I noticed.”

Hermione bolted upright and looked shocked into the eyes of her husband. Her own eyes were tearing up, and she knew she was going to cry at any moment.

He bent his head back over the desk. “You, though, are lovely and beautiful, whereas, she is just merely pretty,” he said firmly as he scribbled furiously again.

Hermione smiled. She got up and slinked her way into their private chambers. She was going to wear that get-up she got from The Witch’s Wardrobe and have sex with her husband! She showered and primped in the bathroom, taking her time to make herself as attractive as she could. She looked at the finished product and was nervous. She liked how she looked, and she felt sexy—now to see how Severus would react!

She walked out to find her husband sitting on the bed. He had been waiting patiently, well, not completely patient, but he had waited quite a while to get into the bathroom. When his wife emerged, he sucked in a breath, and the image of her burned a path straight to his loins. Great Merlin, he thought, she’s not wearing any knickers!

Everything else was forgotten as he stalked over to his wife and stroked his hands all over the lace of her outfit. He walked behind her and saw her bum peek out from underneath the lace fringe. Oh my God! he groaned inwardly.

“I do hope you were expecting me to do some very naughty things tonight,” he said in his most silky voice as he stalked a predatory circle around her. He looked very much like the evil Potions master inspecting a delicate brew as he stared at her. She loved it. He had the most amazing eyes! She could literally feel each part of her body burn and tingle as his dark and unfathomable orbs passed over her. Finally, he sat back on the bed and crossed his arms.

“Walk to me,” he commanded.

She did, feeling a bit silly in silk stockings with no shoes, but he obviously couldn't have cared less! She reached him, and he slid his hands up the backside of her thighs, pulling her closer. He maneuvered his knees between her legs, and she stood there spread, tingling and burning as he looked at the dark thatch between her legs. He took his hand and cupped her sex, watching her face as he massaged and rubbed his palm over it. He slipped a finger inside, and Hermione gave a murmur of approval.

“Already so needy?” he asked darkly.

He pulled her to him, and she straddled him. Her toes could almost touch the ground.

“Oh, no!” he teased as he spread his legs farther apart, making it impossible for her to touch the floor. He drank in the sight of her face while she watched him roughly open the fly of his trousers. He pulled her to him and kissed her madly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her breasts against his chest as he ground his naked erection against her laced-covered stomach.

“I’m going to make love to you, Hermione,” he whispered in her ear. “Just like this. With. All. Our. Clothes. On. That is what you wanted, right?” he said slow and seductively as he made his way down her neck.

“Uh-huh,” was all she managed to say.

He lifted her by her bum and lowered her onto him. She felt the same full feeling, but the burning was less. She was very aroused by this position, and he insinuated his thumb between his pelvis and her clit and swirled it around and around as he rocked her back and forth on his cock. Soon she was feeling the building pleasure, and she was bucking wildly against him. My God, what this man can do with just his thumb! she thought as she moaned and panted. Soon, she was keening and shouting her husband’s name as she came. He began to pump wildly into her, muttering her name and grunting things she couldn’t quite understand. She felt the strangeness again and the urge to urinate. All the freeing sensations were gone, and she tensed all her pelvic muscles, desperately wanting him to finish before she lost control and peed all over him. Again, it was all Severus needed to send him over the edge. He convulsed and shouted, emptying himself into her.

That had been a marvelous feeling. Hermione had loved how Severus had felt inside her during those precious seconds before he came and then as he had released into her. She could feel the iron hardening of his penis and his desperate need for release. It had been primal, feral, and it had thrilled her. She also loved how his seed had felt shooting into her, warm and soothing. She felt marked, claimed, and desired. All of this because of no knickers! She snuggled against her naked husband feeling triumphant. She was desired. She was lovely and beautiful. Miss Holden from America with her big breasts was only pretty.

A/N: I hope some of that was worth waiting for. Yes, I do understand not all is well with Hermione. That will be a problem as her jealousy spirals out-of-control.

Next up: The lads from Durmstrang come and all is not well.