The Square Knot
Chapter 4 of 23
LadyTuesday“I had to make a choice, and I made it.” Hermione cleared her throat and continued. “I know it’s dangerous. And I will never forgive myself for putting any of you in this kind of danger. But I had to make a choice and I made the choice that is most likely to bring me the most amount of happiness.” Tears welled up in her eyes but she ignored them as she rose and walked to the door. Her head was held high as she turned to address them on her way towards her room. “I cannot and will not apologize for my decision.”
ReviewedA/N: Keep an eye out for these chapter titles; from now on, they will indicate something within the chapter...
And a big thank you to amsev, who made me aware of the fact that I'm an idiot (not amsev's words, obviously) and put an excerpt from chapter FIVE as the description of this chapter. ... whoops! So for those of you who read early and/or are rereading this... you got a tiny sneak peek. Sorry!
~~ ** LadyTuesday ** ~~
Chapter Four The Square Knot
"The Square Knot (Also known as the "Reef Knot") - The square knot is only useful in simple applications. It is easily tied and will not jam, so it is always easy to untie."
Hermione remained in the study with her head resting on the desk for nearly an hour before rousing herself and getting back to the task at hand. She felt guilty for it later, but after the events of the afternoon, she had no desire to be accessible and cast a quick locking charm on the door.
"I just can't handle anymore, Crookshanks," she moaned to the large ginger cat now stationed in front of the fire. He had sauntered in just after Harry had left and had leapt onto the desk. His piteous meowing and demands for attention left her little choice as to ignoring him, and she got a sneaking suspicion that he was aware of her emotional turmoil. As she set herself back to the arduous task of planning supportive House activities, he had curled around her feet, a constant reminder of comfort and love.
Now that she was merely walking circles of the study, he had chosen a more stable position. Hermione could not force herself to settle. To say her mind was racing would have been a vast understatement.
"What's going to happen to me, Crookshanks? Even Dumbledore doesn't know what to do ... I can see it in his eyes. And this stalling is only going to last so long. Eventually the Ministry will catch on, and I will have to marry someone. But who?"
As if the cat had responded, Hermione wheeled around to face him and kept talking. "And it's not as if wizarding marriages can be dissolved by divorce. I checked. In a wizarding marriage, you either die as husband and wife or you petition for an annulment ... and even those are practically impossible to get. And I'm quite certain that annulments wouldn't be allowed for this stupid law. So who can I possibly marry?
"Harry's not available, Ron's too dangerous, Neville couldn't really protect me once school starts, and to get right down to it, I don't love him. I mean, he's lovely and all, but I'm not interested in him like that. But this buying time thing will only stall for a few months ... and then ... Then I'll have to get married. And even if they do repeal the bloody thing, I'm sure it won't be in time for the inevitable."
She stopped her tumultuous pacing of the room. "Married, Crookshanks! How can I be married at 18 years old! All my plans ...They'll be ruined!"
*****
As the bright summer sunset started to reflect into the window, Hermione had stilled her pacing of the room, but as of yet was in no mood for visitors, so she had simply curled up on the leather couch with a volume of Moste Potent Potions that she had found residing on the study's bookshelves. She had lost herself within the book for an indiscriminate amount of time and was practically oblivious until a soft tap sounded on the door after a gentle rattling of the knob.
"Hermione?" Ginny's voice came uncertainly from the other side of the door. "Dinner is ready if you'd like to come eat ..."
Hermione had a fleeting instinct to holler at her to go away, but stifled it, reminding herself that her current situation had nothing to do with the plucky sixth-year. She sighed heavily as she heard Ginny's retreating footsteps. She felt awful turning a cold shoulder to the girl who was the only person Hermione dared to call a girlfriend, but she just didn't feel equipped to deal with any more human contact.
She began pacing the room once more as her stomach grumbled noisily. "You'll have to eat sometime," she told herself angrily, but at the moment, the only solution to that was an errant thought of stalking down to the kitchen once everyone had gone to bed. Hermione was thoroughly ashamed being a person who opposed any form of escapism. "Aren't I due this little bit of comfort though?" she asked Crookshanks, who merely arched up under her hand, begging for affection. Just as she was contemplating what time would be best to avoid people, another soft knock tapped on the door.
"I'm not hungry, Gin," she called back, feeling even guiltier for ignoring her earlier. "I promise I'll come out and eat later."
The voice she heard in response, however, was much different than the one she had expected. "Miss Granger, I'm certain you need your solitude more than anyone right now, but I'm afraid there is a matter of some importance that we must discuss as soon as possible. Please unward the door so that I may come in."
When Dumbledore's voice had died away again, Hermione hurried to fetch her wand and open the door. She had begun to mutter an apology as Dumbledore entered, shortly followed by several members of the Order, but Dumbledore was quick to respond.
"Ordinarily I wouldn't dream of trespassing on your privacy, Miss Granger, but something has come to my attention that needs to be addressed."
Hermione occupied Snape's usual position in front of the windows and stared around at the quickly filling room; she realized that it could be nothing good and was most certainly something to do with her marriage proposals.
Mrs. Weasley moved over to her tentatively and handed her a scroll that had already been opened. "Well dear, this came for you this evening during dinner, and since you had the door warded, the owl delivered it to the first open window he could find, which happened to be the lounge where Dumbledore and Professor Snape were talking."
Hermione took the scroll from Mrs. Weasley, but did not open it. From a quick glance around the room, she could ascertain that she was the only one who was not aware of its contents, and as such, expected them to elaborate. She sighed heavily and looked to Dumbledore.
"If you notice the Ministry crest, Miss Granger, I'm sure you can guess what it is about." He sighed heavily, adjusting his half-moon glasses before settling into a worn chintz armchair near the fire. "The Ministry is calling for a decision on your marriage proposals."
Hermione's head whipped around, her attention fixed. "But Neville just proposed today! I should have at least ten days before..." Dumbledore nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but Snape interrupted smoothly.
"There is no doubt that this rush tactic is coming straight from Lucius Malfoy. The Ministry is maintaining that Neville's contract should be considered invalid for the ten day period because it was submitted on the day that you theoretically should have accepted Malfoy. However, as it is a valid contract, they are now stating that you should have a decision logged within 24 hours. By which time I'm sure Lucius will have come up with a reason for Longbottom's claim to be disallowed. It's quite obviously a scare tactic to force you into accepting Draco."
After a weighty silence, broken only by muted grumblings from Ron and Harry, Snape turned to Dumbledore and continued. "I'm not the sort of man to say, 'I told you so,' Albus." Hermione snorted derisively without even noticing, but Snape continued as if she had never done so. "But I can't help but state that I did say this would not last long. I think it's time that you considered my suggestion that..."
For the first time in her memory, Dumbledore was more forceful in his interruption than politeness would have allowed. "No, Severus. Your solution would be a last resort, and an option I would turn to only in the direst situation."
"We are there!" Snape countered, his voice edgier than Hermione had ever heard.
"No," Dumbledore responded coolly. "Not yet."
Hermione watched the byplay between the two men in silent confusion. She looked around at the faces and realized, yet again, that she was most likely the only one aside from Ron and Harry that were not aware of what they were arguing about. A cold fury rose in Hermione as she glared around at the assembled party.
"Is someone going to inform me just what's going on? Or do you all plan on scheduling out my married life for me and informing me the day of the wedding?"
Ginny and Harry both recoiled visibly as Hermione released her emotional venom, but the rest of the party merely looked away. Remus rose from his chair gently and laid a soft hand on her shoulder.
"Hermione, I know this is difficult, but we're trying to determine what is the best and safest course of action for you ..."
She slapped his hand away and turned her back to him. "Did you ever think of including me in that decision? It is my future!"
Lupin sighed softly. "Of course. But there are certain options that we'd rather not trouble you with until we know whether or not they are necessary. The pertinent thing to discuss right now
is how to keep you from having to marry into the Malfoys."
At this point, Tonks joined the conversation. "Well, it seems like the only way for her to do that is to accept someone else."
Hermione looked to Dumbledore, hoping for some other alternative. When Dumbledore responded, his eyes were full of sadness. "So it would seem," he said softly.
Hermione sighed again and looked to Neville. "I'm so sorry for this ... I know that you never intended..."
Neville squirmed in his seat, obviously uncomfortable, but responded with a clear voice. "I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't willing to see it through."
Hermione smiled weakly but could offer nothing else.
"Well," Dumbledore responded, "seeing as how Neville is still in school as well, it may actually be more favorable to accept a proposal from a man who is out of school. That way cohabitation could be postponed, as you are still in attendance at Hogwarts. Hopefully, by the time you graduate, the law may be repealed."
Hermione nodded. "But ...er ... who?"
Mr. Weasley spoke up almost immediately. "Charlie has written to say that he would petition if necessary, and you could be granted a cohabitation waiver as he is still in Romania."
Hermione nodded again, but had a feeling there was more. "Or...?"
"Or I could petition, if necessary."
Hermione turned to gaze at Professor Lupin, who was blushing slightly in the firelight. "Prof- Remus ... you would ...?" Hermione blushed deeply as well, slightly horrified at the thought of a wedding night with her former Professor.
"If necessary. It may be a more favorable alternative if the law should continue, as you would not have to move to Romania upon graduation. I reside here, so you would have London at your disposal."
Hermione's head was spinning. Her choices for marriage were limited to someone she could barely stand, someone she barely knew, someone who could never protect her, or someone she looked up to as a sort of father. "I have how long to decide on something?" she asked to the room at large.
"Twenty-four hours," Snape remarked, his presence in the room suddenly thrown into relief again.
"I need to think ... maybe a night's sleep?" She looked to Dumbledore, who nodded silently. Upon his acknowledgement, she swiftly walked from the room and called upon all her self-restraint in aiding her in the battle against running up the stairs in a blaze of embarrassed sobbing.
*****
The instant she regained her room, Hermione broke out into horrified sobs. She couldn't remember the last time she had carried on in this manner, and yet, within the last two weeks, she had cried more than a two year old in the midst of a temper tantrum. She beat her fists against the bed and her pillows, heaving out her anger and frustration upon the bed clothes.
She started violently and grabbed for her wand when a soft hand touched her shoulder. She looked up to see Ginny standing over her, Ron and Harry standing by the door, shuffling their feet nervously. The youngest Weasley's friendly, heart-shaped face was screwed up in concern as she laced her arms around Hermione.
"I know this doesn't help any for your situation, but I'm here for you if you want to beat on someone." Hermione chuckled slightly as she swiped at her tearstained face with her sleeve.
"I'm serious," Ginny continued, "it might make you feel better. But perhaps you should beat on Harry instead; he's a bit sturdier."
Harry nodded enthusiastically, obviously relieved to see Hermione tending towards a better mood than the shrieking sobs they'd heard a moment ago.
As he and Ron moved to take a seat on either side of her on the bed, Hermione raised her fists and pummeled them playfully into Harry's chest. He made a good show of fake pain and muttered, "Go on, I can take it...."
As the smile melted from Hermione's face, Ginny slid behind her one long leg on either side of Hermione and enveloped her in her slender, lanky arms. Hermione tried valiantly to stay her barrage of sniffles, but leaned back against Ginny and said nothing.
After a few moments of silence, Harry finally whispered, "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know," Hermione responded, her voice thick with emotion. "I can't marry Draco; that's just out of the question. But as for Neville ... it doesn't seem ..."
"Sound," Ginny finished. "Not the wisest idea."
Hermione nodded mutely, but stared over at Ron as he cleared his throat loudly several times in rapid succession. "What?" she groused, not able to control her irritability.
"Well," he began and cleared his throat again. He thrust his hand into the back pocket of his jeans and produced a crumpled scroll with a broken seal. "I intercepted this before it got to you. Wanted to say something myself, you know."
He thrust his hand out to Hermione, who took the proffered paper without comment. She opened it and read quickly, her mouth dropping as she took in the contents.
"You can't marry Draco, you shouldn't marry Neville or Lupin, and if you're going to marry a Weasley, I'll be damned if it's going to be anyone but me."
Ginny roughly looked over Hermione's shoulders at the parchment still clutched shakily in her hand. "Ron, they said it was too dangerous. She can't..."
"Oh, yes she can," Ron said. "I may not be as experienced as Harry, but I'll protect her all the same."
Hermione stared from Ron to Ginny to Harry, unsure of what her next move should be. She knew deep down what her decision as to that was, but if she didn't seek someone else's opinion, she was terrified that she would make the wrong one, simply out of too much emotion. Ginny's face was set and obviously disapproving; Ron's was a mirror of Ginny's, but determination replaced her disapproval. Hermione looked last to Harry, hoping he could shed some light on the best course of action. He was the person she trusted best. But Harry merely looked away, a strained sort of pain still lurking at the corner of his eyes.
"You just have to sign there at the bottom," Ron replied firmly, but there was a hint of a question in it.
With a deep breath, Hermione leaned over to her bedside table, retrieved a quill and scratched a hasty signature at the bottom of the parchment, which rolled itself up and disappeared with a loud pop! the instant she finished.
*****
The entire downstairs vibrated with the force of a shout coming from the entry hall.
"Granger! WEASLEY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
Hermione stiffened in anticipation as she sat sipping tea at the breakfast table. The reaction was expected, but still intimidating. The five students currently eating breakfast silently all looked up in alarm as a great thundering of footsteps clattered towards the kitchen.
Severus Snape thrust open the swinging door of the kitchen so hard that the top flew off its hinges and hung precariously as Dumbledore, Lupin, Tonks and Arthur Weasley followed him to the kitchen. Molly turned from the cauldron of porridge she was stirring, her face shining with perspiration and now glazed with concern.
Snape stalked over to the table and peered down at Ron and Hermione who happened to be sitting side by side. "What is the meaning of this?" he spat angrily, waving an opened letter from the ministry.
Without waiting for Hermione's or Ron's ready answers, he plowed on, furious. "We discussed this, Weasley. You have just signed your own death warrant! And as for you--!" he scowled, turning to Hermione.
Ron piped up, his face an angry purplish color. "Something had to be done! She had to marry someone, and I'll be damned if it's anyone but me!"
Snape looked furiously around at the rest of the table, anxious to unleash his spleen on someone and certain that they had encouraged him. "Do you have any idea what you've just gotten yourself into? You fools have no idea ... Yet again, you can't possibly fathom that someone else might know what's best for you."
Ron stood up in front of Hermione, shielding her from Snape's anger. "And you can't possibly understand that the people who love her have to stand up and do something!"
Ron was starring heatedly into Snape's eyes, refusing to back down. Severus's hands moved swiftly to grab Ron by the collar of his robes and lifted him to his toes. "Do you have any idea what you've just done, Weasley? Something I could have saved her from ... and you, I might add."
"Severus," Dumbledore spoke, his voice icy in warning. "Unhand Mr. Weasley this instant."
Snape reluctantly released Ron and shoved him back toward the table. Hermione grabbed at his chest, forcing him to leave off his retaliation against Snape. Harry cleared his throat nervously and looked to Ginny, who was fuming in anger and shooting daggers at both Ron and Snape.
"Ron, that was a foolish thing to do," Mr. Weasley spoke up. Ginny's face radiated a sick sort of triumph. Harry's glazed in concern. Ron was fuming. "And Hermione," he continued, "it was even more foolish of you to accept. You know the risks we're now taking, tying together the two closest people to Harry. It would make you both a very valuable target."
Hermione started to respond, but Tonks cut her off. "Well, she had to do something, and marrying Neville or Remus wasn't much safer. No offense meant," she added hastily to Remus.
"None taken, but it does put Hermione, Ron and Harry at tremendous risk ..."
Harry and Ginny had leaned toward each other and lapsed into silent conversation; Ron was throwing down his breakfast, no doubt in an effort to distract himself. Hermione listened quietly and carefully to the byplay between the adults, all of whom were now bantering heavily back and forth. Eventually, she could take no more and raised her voice.
"I made a choice."
All the people in the room stopped and turned quietly to where she sat at the table, hands folded, looking up at the assembled party.
"I had to make a choice, and I made it." Hermione cleared her throat and continued. "I know it's dangerous. And I will never forgive myself for putting Ron or any of you in this kind of danger. But I had to make a choice, and I made the choice that is most likely to bring me the most amount of happiness." Tears welled up in her eyes, but she ignored them as she rose and walked to the door. Her head was held high as she turned to address them on her way towards her room.
"I cannot and will not apologize for my decision."
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Latest 25 Reviews for Tying Knots
391 Reviews | 6.08/10 Average
Has this story been abandoned?
Very nicely done. I liked how Hermione's sobs evoked something unbidden, and, perhaps, unknown in Severus, leading him to confess things he'd never told anyone.
I'm so glad that was a Pensieve in that bag. I was afraid it was Ron's HEAD!!! O_o
What a strange little lecture Snape gives on eroticism. I'm sure I'm over-analyzing it, but it just seems... remarkably revealing for someone who has been so withdrawn until this point in the story. And Hermione's reaction... and the fact that Snape continues in spite of her reaction. It's kind of weird. That said, I think this was one of the most compelling chapters so far.
Thank you for the update! (Sorry for late review!)
This was good on so many levels. I love how real and believable you write Severus and Hermione. They're flawed, but not broken, and willing to work together.
Looking forward to seeing what happens next (hopefully soon)!
For some reason, I didn't get an email notification about the last chapter (or else I missed it), and I had pretty much forgotten about your story so when I saw that it had been updated again, I had to go back and reread everything so I could remember what was going on. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't make me wait so long again, this story is amazing!!! Thanks for not giving up on it! <3
I was so excited to re-read this and the update. Thrilled with the new knot and looking forward to the next. :)
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I am so glad you are working on this again, I have missed it so much. I do understand how RL can get in the way of creativity, but it's great to have you back.
Still reading! I saw this was updated in my email. There is a wedding coming up.
I suppose Harry or Ginny or gossip is going to cause some problems. Yet, this is a MLC so anything can happen. FWIW I read alot of Harry-Hermione before I discovered SS/HG. ;>
This story saved me from killing my entire family ... I just came from a dreadful family celebration. They were driving me mad. Luckily I found myself a corner where I could sit a read.I have been reading this story for 2 days and I must admit you did really good job here. I like it very much and I can't wait to see what happens next
I'm so enjoying this story - I want more! I've spent all day on my phone devouring it. A brilliant read!
I was SO glad to see that you'd updated; another great chapter (as usual)! Eager for the next one. :)
I hope there will be sooon a new chapter! Love your story and waited all the time for this chapter.... pleaseee post a new one soon =) Thanks
Any chance you're still updating this fic? Please? Pretty please? It's really, truly marvelous...and if you still need a beta reader, I'd be happy to help out.
Love this story! Love your writing! That little discussion between SS & HG during their walk? One of the hottest interludes I've ever read that involved absolutely no touching. I discovered about halfway through that little section that I was no longer breathing. Wow. Talk about weaving magic with well-crafted words...
Bravo!
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Wonderful update, well worth the wait, evil cliffy and all. I must add that I hope she does not loose her virginity to Harry, he is sweet and all that, but she will end up regreting it, because it will change everthing between the two of them, and she may well be missing out on something incredible with her new husband.
Oh dear.
She HAS "tied a knot" that may be impossible to untie, but which on the other hand could allow her to fall at a most critical moment, hasn't she?
Oh, Hermione.....
Brava, as always! And glad you're back from RL!!!
Very well done, LadyTuesday!!
I love how you had Hermione start showing loyalty, even if it is forced, to Severus. She is a very practicle girl and knows that doing so is suppose to be only natural.
I also thuroughly enjoied how you had Hermione full on demand that Severus do something she knew, full well, he would detest, and only grow more determined the more he balked at it. It's about time she require something of him, after all he required of her to go to his father's house.
I can't wait to read more.
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You have no idea how happy I am to see you return to this fic. If you think no one is still here waiting to see what happens next, that simply is not true. My theory is always that if you are going to disappear for a long while, you'd better come back with a stellar chapter. And you did.
Ginny's plan for Harry and Luna is really quite smart. I do hope, though, that thry aren't jumping into this, assuming that they won't have to get married, because it is a real possibility that they will. It will never be first choice for either, but I think they could be happy if it comes down to it.
I can't believe that Hermione is planning to sleep with Harry. Don't get me wrong, she has a very valid reason for doing so, and I think she is right in that Harry would be wonderful to her. But I think it would be a mistake and a regret for all parties. The first time that she tries it, Harry seems to come to his senses and stops things before they start. At least that is what I hope happened because it means that he could do so again. On the other hand, he must know that this is probably his only chance with Hermione, so he might take it. Maybe she will come to her senses when she realizes that Harry's arms around her don't feel right. I don't actually have a guess as to how this is going to go. Just don't make it too ugly, okay?
You have done a marvellous job here, so I hope you can keep the momentum going. Real life can suck sometimes, but hopefully things will turn out for the best. I would be an awful beta, and my britpicking skills are nonexistant. But if you need a cheerleader, in any capacity, you need only ask.
I love it that Hagrid didnt recognize her. That must have been some walking robe!