Lady in Waiting

Sitting on the hearthrug in Severus' study, Hermione cradled the whimpering jarvey as she tried to calm her own racing heart. Murmuring a constant stream of soothing, nonsensical phrases to Turpin, she refused to let her own fears run away with her until she heard what the boys found out from the headmaster. The half hour's time she waited for their arrival seemed an endless age of fear and worry. When they arrived, they brought Hermione no hope. The boys sat near her, regarding her with solemn eyes before they found the will to speak.

"It's not good, Mione," Ron began softly, "Dumbledore has most of the Order out looking for any clue of what's happened, but they've found no trace of Snape."

"He's missing...and he's presumed dead," Harry added hesitantly.

At Harry's words, Turpin's whimpering began anew and Hermione took a few moments to try calming the sorrowful jarvey while quiet tears rolled down her own cheeks. "Turpin said it was a meeting...if that is the case, what does Draco know about what happened?"

"That's the trouble, Hermione," Harry said. "It's the hols--Draco always goes to Malfoy Manor for the hols. That's why Dumbledore has the Order searching...Draco's at home with his thrice-cursed father and there's no telling how long it will be before he can risk sending us a message."

"Do you mean to tell me," Hermione began in a tight and angry voice, "that no one has spoken to the one person who can tell us what's happened?"

"It's not that easy, Hermione!" Harry snapped back. "If something has happened to Snape--or if his cover's been blown--then Draco is the only spy we have left! He's now the only chance we have of getting any advance warning at all of when Voldemort's going to make his big move."

"This is war, Hermione. We can't risk Draco's position to find out what happened to a man who's probably already dead," Ron added.

"Don't say that!" Hermione snapped. "We don't know he's...that he's dead. This is simply insane! For all we know, he could be hurt somewhere...needing our help...and because we can't talk to Draco, you're going to sit there and tell me there's nothing to be done?"

"I know it's hard to sit and do nothing. Until we have some sort of information to go on, that's the only option we have," Harry said in resigned tones.

The useless argument was interrupted by a knock on the study door. When Harry opened it, he was surprised to see Remus and Sirius standing in the doorway. Their normally cheerful countenances were unusually sober.

"How is Hermione?" Remus asked softly.

"She's furious, but she's doing all right," Harry replied as he stepped aside to allow the older men entrance. Turning towards the young witch in question, they were all three startled to see Hermione sitting on the rug with Turpin, a drawn wand pointing resolutely at Sirius Black.

"Sirius," she began in a soft, yet steady voice, "I'm afraid I will have to ask you to leave. Severus would not want you here in his rooms."

"Now Hermione," Remus said soothingly, "I'm very sorry for your loss, love, but Sirius has only come here to see how you are doing and...well...it will hardly matter to Severus anymore, will it?"

Disengaging herself from Turpin, Hermione rose to her feet, wand still aimed at Black, who remained standing just inside the door. "How dare you," she hissed. "I will not sit here and listen to such nonsense. Just because we have heard no news does not mean that Severus is dead! While there is the slightest chance that he lives I am going to follow his wishes in regards to his rooms. Sirius, please leave...now."

"Hermione, please...I just want to see you," Sirius began. "I understand your wishes and I'll not go messing around in Snape's rooms. Damn it, girl, I feel bad for what's happened...can't I just stand here by the door for a bit? I promise I'll behave myself."

While Hermione stood pondering the matter, a small furry whirlwind suddenly launched itself at Black, squealing an unlikely war cry of "You chuffing bastard!" as he ran to Sirius and sank his teeth into the man's ankle. Yelping, Sirius drew back his free foot to kick the beast away.

"Don't you dare harm him!" shouted Hermione, raising her wand to again point it at Black's head.

Frustrated and bleeding, Sirius muttered, "Should have worn my boots..." as he reached down and deftly scruffed the upset jarvey by the back of his neck. Lifting the beast up to dangle helplessly off the ground, Sirius said, "Will you behave yourself, you mad thing? I'll let you down if you'll keep your blasted teeth to yourself!"

Turpin may have been physically helpless, as he dangled, squirming, from an angry Black's clenched fist, but there was no power on earth which could halt the upset familiar's tongue. "I'll be damned if I'll behave meself around a complete and utter awlarse like you! Set me loose! I'll bite your fucking tadger off, you tea-bagging, buggering arsehole! I'll beat the seven kinds of shit out of you, you scabby berk! I'll scratch your fucking eyes out! Cocksucking, mardarsed, dicksplash! You pathetic, toe-licking, toady fuckhead!"

"For God's sake, Hermione!" groused Black. "Come get this mad thing away from me!"

Putting her wand back up her sleeve with a sigh, Hermione retrieved the sputtering jarvey and cuddled him close. "Hush, love," she murmured. "I've got you. I know you don't like Sirius, but it's not likely he had anything to do with your master's disappearance."

"How can you be sure, vixen?" Turpin hissed. "He hates my master, 'e does!"

Looking up from where Remus was healing the bite mark on his ankle with a softly spoken healing charm, Sirius said, "You're wrong. Oh, we were never going to pick out china patterns together to be sure, but I don't actually hate the bastard." Turning solemn eyes on Hermione, he continued, "I'll never like the git...and I didn't trust his intentions when he volunteered to help you, Hermione, but I didn't wish him dead...I didn't want this."

Hermione didn't want to believe him, but when she probed Sirius' feelings she found no hatred there. All Sirius was feeling was an almost overwhelming sense of guilt. Her silent musings were interrupted by the jarvey.

"Codswallop!" shouted Turpin. "You tried to kill him before, you chuffing bastard. Why should I believe you haven't tried to off him again?"

"Because Sirius never actually tried to kill Severus before," Remus interjected calmly. "Hermione, I know everyone is upset. Could we all sit down and talk about this more calmly?"

Nodding her head reluctantly, Hermione sat on the sofa and settled Turpin on her lap before she looked at Lupin with narrowed eyes. "What do you mean Sirius didn't try to kill Severus before? He's the one who drew Severus to the Shrieking Shack while you were transformed. From what Harry has told me, if his father hadn't snatched Professor Snape away from the Whomping Willow, you would have attacked him." The guilt she had felt from Sirius was now washing over her in waves. The man obviously still felt very guilty about the whole thing. Was that why he treated Severus so shabbily? Was it not hate at all, but simply a man who couldn't deal with the guilt he was feeling?

When Sirius remained silently staring at the floor, Remus continued, "Sirius was only trying to scare him. What he did was stupid, poorly thought out, and horrendously dangerous, but he wasn't actually trying to kill Severus. What happened that night was partially my own fault. Normally, when I secluded myself in the Shrieking Shack, I shut myself into one of the rooms and put locking charms on the doors. When the boys could join me, they would come let me out. On the night in question, I forgot to ward one of the doors...by the time Severus got to the entrance under the Whomping Willow, I'd already broken through the door and was waiting just inside the tunnel. If James hadn't been as quick with Severus as he was with a snitch, Sirius would have gotten Severus killed--and turned me into a murderer."

Being able to tell the werewolf was speaking the truth did nothing to ease Hermione's confusion. Staring at Sirius, she asked, "But what the devil were you trying to do? Why did you want to frighten him...and what were you planning to do when you got Severus into the Shrieking Shack?"

Sirius sighed and rested his head in his hands. In a slightly muffled voice he began, "I thought if he went in and heard Remus howling and crashing about, Severus would think the place was haunted. That's what everyone else thought, after all." Sirius raised his head to look at Hermione with sad eyes. "I only wanted to give him a good fright. He was so hateful to Lily...and all she ever tried to do was stick up for the blasted prat. It made me furious he treated her that way. So I thought I'd give the git a good scare. Believe me, I understand now that it was a completely idiotic thing to do; I was a stupid kid for hell's sake. I didn't wish him dead then and I don't wish him dead now."

"Is he lying, vixen?" asked Turpin quietly.

"No love, he isn't," Hermione replied.

"I still think he's a chuffing bastard," Turpin groused.

Giving the jarvey a sad smile, Hermione said, "You may be right, but he doesn't mean your master any harm."

"I'm still going to keep my eye on the bumbo clot," Turpin growled.

"I'm sure that's very wise, dear heart," Hermione said with a faint grin.

"You won't leave me alone, will you vixen?"

"No, Turpin, I won't leave you alone. We'll take care of each other until your master gets back." Hermione tried to believe the words she spoke to the jarvey, but she couldn't stop a few quiet tears from rolling down her cheeks.

The next five days were hell on Hermione. With a week left in winter break, she didn't even have classes to distract her from her worry. In some ways, she was thankful for the lack of demands on her time as it left her free to stay with Turpin in Severus' rooms, awaiting news of his fate. The jarvey remained inconsolable and Hermione spent hour after hour speaking to him softly about his master, and reading to him from "The Two Towers." When Turpin was napping and Hermione found herself pacing back and forth before the enchanted window, she felt she would've given just about anything to have a class or two with which to distract her troubled thoughts. Five days had passed since Severus had failed to return to Hogwarts--five long, intolerable days. Trying to be hopeful, Hermione often spoke to Turpin about what fun they would have when his master returned home. Now she was afraid she had done the mourning jarvey a disservice. Perhaps it had been cruel of her to get his hopes up. Five days had passed; if Severus had been lost he would surely have found his way home by now. If he had been injured, and in need of assistance which never appeared...Hermione couldn't bear to finish the thought. Yet, how could her dear Professor possibly live if five long days had passed and they still received no word of him?

Headmaster Dumbledore came down to visit Hermione while she stayed in Severus' study. Assuring the young witch that Severus wouldn't mind, he had dropped the surly Potions Professor's wards on the remainder of his rooms. Albus encouraged the young witch to stay there as long as it brought her comfort, telling Hermione to make herself at home. Hermione spent hours walking through the rooms of his chambers, looking at his things, remembering in detail every word he'd spoken to her. Sleeping in Severus' bed at night, Turpin curled at her side, Hermione played the memory of their single kiss over and over in her mind. If Severus was indeed taken from her, she was infuriated to know that a single kiss was all of him she would ever have to remember. If the fates were kind, and her dark-eyed love were returned to her, Hermione swore she would give in to her desires if she had to tie the stubborn man up in order to do so. If she must be left behind, she would demand more than a single kiss to sustain her.

Such thoughts left Hermione weeping silently as she lay in her love's bed trying not to wake his familiar. It was well and good to have such determination...if only it were not already too late.

Harry and Ron spent most daylight hours keeping Hermione company in Severus' study. Her Professor's wishes in mind, Hermione wouldn't let them into the rest of Severus' chambers, but they passed the long, worrisome hours in the study reading and talking. Twice during the week, Sirius and Remus came by for the afternoon. Though the men had no news of her missing Professor, they did their best to cheer Hermione and keep her hopes up. While Sirius was there, Turpin kept a close eye on the scruffy wizard. Twice he pounced on Sirius' leg, attempting to sink his teeth into the man's ankle. Having wised up after his first visit, Sirius made sure to wear tough, dragon-hide boots, so his ankle was no worse for wear. Amazingly enough, Sirius showed an uncharacteristic patience when dealing with the overwrought jarvey. Gently disengaging the cursing beast's teeth from his boot, Sirius would then sit with the jarvey before the fire, softly explaining how he meant Snape no harm and expressing his hope for the Potion master's safe return. The quiet and serious manner in which Sirius addressed the jarvey brought tears to Hermione's eyes. She hadn't known the gruff man could act so kindly, nor so gently. After the second such episode, Turpin's vendetta against Sirius' ankles ended. While the jarvey still kept a close eye on the 'mardarsed bastard'--as Turpin insisted on calling him--man and jarvey began an uneasy camaraderie of sorts.

So the days passed--one dragging along after the other--without one clue as to Severus Snape's whereabouts. There'd been no word from Malfoy Manor, and when Hermione had tentatively asked the Headmaster whether they could get word to Draco, Albus had been firm in his belief that Draco's cover could not be risked.

"Miss Granger," Albus said kindly, "Voldemort's fall is something that Severus worked towards nearly his whole life. He would not wish us to risk that now...not even on his account."

Hermione knew Dumbledore was right--though it was cold comfort when she lay that night in Severus' bed, worried, frightened, and missing the surly man so desperately her chest literally ached with her loss.

On the sixth day, Hermione and Turpin's routine was interrupted--the pair startled from their quiet reading of Tolkien as they snuggled together before the fire.

"Hermione!" called Harry, as he rushed into the room. Rising to meet him, Hermione struggled to be patient as Harry caught his breath. "Hermione...there's been news. Draco managed to get an owl to us--he's been trying to do so all this time, but his father was watching him like a hawk."

Twining her hands in Harry's shirt, Hermione practically shook him in exasperation. "What did he say? Damn it Harry, what did he say about Severus?"

"I...he said...look Hermione, Dumbledore's called an Order meeting in his office, maybe you should wait and let him explain it..."

She did shake him then. "Harry James Potter--you tell me what you know, and do so immediately!"

"Hermione...there's a chance he's alive, but even if he is, it doesn't look good."

"Where is he, Harry?" Hermione snarled, her patience at an end.

Harry's eyes were full of sorrow for his friend as he revealed what he knew would only cause her fear and pain. "Severus Snape is imprisoned in Azkaban."

The last thing Hermione felt was Harry's arms catching her deftly as she fainted for the first time in her life.