Discoveries

November passed in much more pleasant fashion for Hermione than had October. While Professor Snape kept to his usual amount of sarcastic wit in class, when Hermione crept down to his study--as she did most every evening--they passed the time together in much the same manner as the first visit. They were often to be found sitting near one another on the sofa, engaged in heated debate about whatever subject struck their fancy. On those days when Hermione had not been able to finish her schoolwork, she would bring it to complete while he read or graded papers. Each visit, Hermione would be sure to read a bit to Turpin from The Hobbit, and she'd been amused to discover Professor Snape had indeed read to the Jarvey during her absence. In fact, they were almost through with the book and ready to begin The Fellowship of the Ring.

To Hermione, the whole situation was altogether wonderful and altogether infuriating. While she looked forward to each evening with eagerness, and enjoyed every blessed moment in her Professor's company, their relationship had never progressed past an easy friendship. Professor Snape had certainly relaxed around her--and she thought she'd gotten to know the man behind the façade better than most--but he remained perfectly proper with her at all times. He never touched her, other than submitting to her frequent demands for a hug (he still kept track of the number, which now stood at 63). He never referred to her as anything other than a quite proper "Miss Granger." In fact, he never even shortened it to "Granger," as he did with the boys. Hermione did not attempt to call him by his given name--she knew he'd never stand for it. So she called him "Professor," and occasionally snuck in a "my Professor." When feeling particularly brave, she'd use "my dear Professor"--causing his eyebrows to raise in unspoken alarm, though he never told her refrain from referring to him as such. Admitting to herself that she sometimes said it just to watch his reaction, Hermione also knew she got secret glee simply from calling him "my dear."

Continuing to work on her Empath powers, Hermione practiced religiously every day and was disheartened by how slowly she progressed. Andrene had been quite right; it would take her years to achieve the skills that the older Firewalker possessed. Hermione could only hope her efforts would be of some use to the Order, so she spent hours working on her projection. She would meet Harry and Ron--sometimes Ginny and Draco as well--in the Room of Requirement and practice projecting at them. Sticking to amusement as a fairly innocuous test, at first her efforts only made them smirk a bit. By the end of November, she could get all four of them to roll on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. In that respect she was making definite progress. It was in the reading of the emotions of others--particularly one black-robed Professor--that she was still having trouble. His protectiveness of her she could always feel, and when she was able to slip past the strong emotion she could feel a clear affection for her, as well. However, that was all she could feel. As far as she could tell, she had fallen wildly in love with a man who felt no more than friendly affection for her. While she cherished his friendship, she couldn't help but yearn for something more, and spent many frustrated nights lying in bed--sleep eluding her--while she tried to determine whether that was indeed all he felt, or if she wasn't reading him clearly.

Twice during November she'd gone to his study in the evening to find him absent. When Turpin told her Professor Snape had been called to a Death Eater meeting, Hermione found she couldn't bear to leave his rooms until he returned and she knew he was well. So she stayed to keep Turpin company, and the two companions would read together and worry about Severus. Both times, Severus returned in the early hours of the morning to find his jarvey and his student curled on the sofa together, fast asleep. Both times, when Severus gently woke the sleeping witch, Hermione leaped off the sofa with a glad cry, hugging him fiercely as Turpin danced around them, hooting with glee. It astounded Severus that she worried about him so; he tried telling her that she really shouldn't fret on his account. Hugging him tighter, Hermione only replied, "You just try to be careful, my dear Professor. You can't stop me worrying about you, so you needn't try." It was all Severus could do not to return her hug just as fiercely.

On December third, when a hasty Order meeting was called in the Headmaster's office, Hermione and Harry talked in hushed tones as they walked through the halls on the way to the meeting.

"It must be something either important or awful for the Headmaster to call a meeting here," whispered Hermione.

"Draco called it," Harry whispered back. "He's really upset, Hermione, but he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. He said I'd better wait for the meeting."

"Damn, I expect it's something awful then," Hermione murmured worriedly.

Reaching Dumbledore's office, they noted many of the Order members had already arrived. Tonks and Moody were there to represent the members who were Aurors. Mr. Weasley was there for the Weasley clan. Remus and Sirius had arrived--so had the Professors at Hogwarts who were Order Members. Throwing one worried glance at her Potions Professor, who sat calmly in his customary seat near the door, Hermione sat on the sofa with Harry and Draco and waited silently for the meeting to begin.

"Thank you all for coming at such short notice," Albus began solemnly. "Draco has brought me some information that requires our attention. Severus, I know you have been called twice last month...did you witness anything leading you to believe that Voldemort is calling your loyalty into question?"

While Severus' eyes registered surprise at the question, he remained seated and regarded his employer and friend calmly. "No more so than usual. He has not completely trusted me since he returned, but as long as I make his potion he tolerates me."

"What potion is that exactly?" Moody asked with narrowed eyes.

The look Severus gave the Auror was cold and angry, yet he answered calmly. "The spell he worked with the blood of young Potter gave him his body back, but it did not give him his strength. There is a potion, made from the serpent Nagini's milk, which would restore his strength more quickly were it brewed correctly--which it is not," Severus ended with a growl and an expression which almost dared the Auror to find fault with him. He was not disappointed. Severus scarcely had finished the short explanation before Moody leapt to his feet in anger.

"I don't trust you, Snape. I find it altogether too convenient that you're making a potion that can restore Voldemort to his full power. Are we supposed to take the word of a known Death Eater that you willingly risk Voldemort's killing you should he ever think to check the bloody potion?" Having started in a low voice, by the end of the speech Moody was shouting as he reached for his wand. Drawing, Moody suddenly found himself face to face with five foot, six inches of furious young witch.

"That is enough!" Hermione practically screamed into the startled Auror's face. "Severus Snape risks his life every bloody day for the Order. I will not stand here and listen to such complete and utter tripe. Professor Snape spoke the truth when he said the potion is brewed incorrectly. I suggest you stop these useless accusations immediately."

"How in the world could you, a student, possibly know he spoke the truth?" hissed Moody.

"Because I'm an Empath you sad little man," Hermione hissed right back. Leaning until her mouth was at the angry Auror's ear, she whispered for only Moody to hear. "You're the one who lied. You lied when you said you didn't trust Snape. If you trust him, why must you attack him at every turn? Will you let your petty prejudices keep us from winning this war? Now put your wand away," she snarled.

Stepping back, Hermione waited until Moody had sheathed his wand, then returned to sit beside Harry and Draco--both regarding her with wide eyes and open mouths. Severus had watched Hermione rant at the Auror with both worry and amazement. She was an avenging angel in her wrath; he'd never seen anything so beautiful in his life. And on his account! His! Severus had no idea what it was Hermione had whispered to the mad Auror, but it must have been interesting indeed. Moody's face had gone white, his expression had fallen, his rage fled. Now Moody sat quietly in his chair, looking at his hands. Turning his gaze to Hermione, Severus saw she was still angry. She sat stiffly on the couch, arms crossed over her chest, staring resolutely at the floor with furious eyes--she was altogether exquisite.

Had Hermione possessed the presence of mind to glance up at her Potions Professor at that instant, the answer to the question which had been plaguing her would have been easily read in his black eyes. Unfortunately, by the time she risked a glance in his direction, the meeting had continued and his expression was once again calmly shuttered.

"Perhaps," Albus began in soothing tones, "we could now proceed to the matter at hand. Draco, tell them what you told me earlier."

"I was at Malfoy Manor over the weekend. On Saturday night, the Dark Lord was there." Lifting worried eyes up to meet his uncle's, he continued. "I heard him and my father talking...they know there's a traitor. They were laughing and making some kind of plans for how they were going to care for the problem."

"Did they speak of this in front of you?" Severus asked quietly.

"Yes, openly...though they would not speak the traitor's name--nor did they say exactly what their plans were. They behaved as if it were a fine joke."

Giving a relieved nod, Severus said, "Then they certainly did not mean you, Draco. They love their little surprises, so they would not have tipped you off. You should be safe enough."

"But what of you, Severus?" Albus asked quietly. "Surely the time has come when you should stop spying. If they did not mean Draco, they must have meant you. It simply isn't worth the risk of you returning."

Waving a dismissive hand, Severus said, "That is not necessarily so, Albus. They would call anyone who messed up their plans a traitor, not only those they considered a spy. Had I given up my work the first time I heard such rumors, then I'd have quit the cause almost as I began it. This is too important to leave solely on Draco's shoulders. I will continue unless some more definite proof comes to light."

"How likely is it that the Death Eaters will discover your potion is a fake, Severus?" Remus asked softly.

Giving the werewolf a sharp glance, Severus was startled to see the honest concern in Lupin's eyes. "It is possible, but not likely. The potion is extremely complex--much more difficult than the Wolfsbane. The reason the Dark Lord suffers my presence is that there are only a handful of wizards in the world who could brew it at all."

"Are you certain," Albus said kindly, "that there is no cause for alarm? I understand your work for the Order is important, Severus...but so are you, my boy...so are you."

"I'm sure my work is no more dangerous than it ever was," Severus replied with a snort. "I will continue, Albus...I must." What Severus left unsaid was that he'd always been aware his life hung by the merest thread. This situation made it no different. Perhaps he had at last been found out. However--if he had not--he could still be of use in bringing the bastard's life to an end. That made it worth any sacrifice. He would carry on. He would carry on as he always had done.

The meeting continued, as various members of the Order presented the progress they'd made on their various tasks. It was all Severus could do to keep from staring at the young Gryffindor who'd so quickly jumped to his defense. Fire still sparked in Hermione's eyes, though she was obviously trying to calm herself. Now and again she glanced at Moody, the anger in her eyes flaring up again. Severus found her altogether enchanting. Perhaps that is what caused him to do something which he would later both regret and cherish.

When the meeting adjourned, Severus did not rush immediately out the door, as was his usual habit. He remained sitting in his chair, regarding Miss Granger steadily. Hermione noticed his attention, and remained seated as she told the boys to go ahead without her. Eventually only three were left in the Headmaster's office--Severus, Hermione, and Albus himself. Taking one look at the silent, staring young people, Albus left his office with an offhand "I believe I have an urgent appointment to do something...somewhere."

After Albus left, Hermione stood and addressed her silent Professor nervously. "I hope you are not offended, sir, by my interfering in your affairs. I am well aware that you can care for yourself, Professor...I was just so furious..." Her voice trailed off as her eyes fell to stare uncomfortably at the floor. Severus gazed at her with slight alarm. He'd been silent too long while figuring out what to say--now his avenging angel thought he was angry with her. She couldn't be more wrong. Standing, Severus still hadn't the faintest idea what to say, yet he knew he must do something. With scarcely a thought, he strode up to Hermione and clasped her fast in his arms in a tight hug.

For the minutest of instants, Hermione was completely stunned. Her heart skipped a beat, her breath caught, her eyes went wide. Then, with a happy sigh, she wrapped her arms around her professor's waist and tilted her head to snuggle her face into the crook of his neck. The feeling of his strong arms around her was devastating in its intensity. She felt safe, she felt accepted, she felt...oh sweet Merlin! Her heart again skipped a beat in the face of an unexpected discovery. Hermione's internal musing was brought to a halt by her Professor suddenly ending the embrace and stepping back to speak to her.

If the embrace had felt devastating to Hermione, to Severus it was apocalyptic. Knowing immediately he should never have tested his resolve so far, Severus still couldn't bear to end the embrace until several minutes had passed. To finally have his arms tight around her, yet to know he could never have her love, was almost more than his resolve could stand. Finally, he released her, stepping back to try finding a normally nimble tongue that couldn't seem to manage a single word while she was wrapped in his arms.

"Hermione...forgive me, that was...improper. I'm afraid I am woefully unused to having anyone jump to my defense. I was not offended, Miss Granger...shocked perhaps, but not offended. Indeed, the memory of you shouting into Moody's face--and on my behalf--is a memory I will cherish until my final breath. I thank you, Miss Granger."

Hermione's mind was awhirl. She wondered if he realized he'd called her by her given name. She wondered why in the world he thought a hug was improper, especially in light of recent discoveries. She wondered how--in all the circles of Hades--she was ever going to get the stubborn man to hug her again. His normally smooth voice faltered as he spoke to her, and he would not quite meet her eyes. Realizing she needed time to think on the situation, Hermione decided not to confront her obviously overset Professor just yet. However, she was not going to let him get away with calling a blasted hug 'improper.'

"Professor, you have no need to apologize--there was nothing improper about your actions. How many times have you allowed me to hug you?" she asked gently.

"Sixty-seven," he mumbled.

"And you have hugged me exactly once. Must I make you sixty-seven apologies, sir?" she asked with a slight grin.

Snorting briefly in amusement, Severus at last met her eye, giving a small smirk of his own. "I do not believe that will be necessary, Miss Granger."

"Good. That would be exhausting indeed. Now then, I believe I should trot off to my common room like a good little Gryffindor before Harry sends out the cavalry to see what's become of me. The meeting took longer than I expected--it's almost curfew. Tomorrow is Saturday...will I disturb you if I visit?"

"Not at all, Miss Granger. We have that discussion about the effects of Black Cohosh on the Wolfsbane to finish after all," Severus said, his voice at last back to its normal, smooth tones.

"I shall look forward to it," Hermione said with a grin. Taking one more moment to give him a brief hug, Hermione fled the room, shouting cheekily, "That makes sixty-eight!" over her shoulder.

Late that night, when Severus entered his bedroom to prepare for sleep, he found Turpin playing with an unfamiliar scrap of white cloth.

"What have you stolen this time, you damned weasel?" Severus growled.

"Mine! You bloody wanker! It's mine, you can't have it, Syphilis!" squealed Turpin as he snatched the scrap up and tried to flee. He was not quick enough. With a casual "Accio," Severus had the white cloth in his hand. It proved to be a handkerchief. Taking one look at the small, feminine monogram, Severus knew it was not his.

"Turpin, you blasted thief, this is Miss Granger's. You shouldn't have nicked it!" he said in an exasperated tone.

"It smelled so nice. An' it was just hanging out of the vixen's bag. Can't you let a poor sod keep it, you great git?"

"No, Turpin, you may not keep it. I expect if you were to actually ask Miss Granger for a token, she would happily give it to you. She spoils you rotten as it is."

"Bollocks," Turpin grumbled, "chelpy fuckhead took me prize." Still grumbling, Turpin stalked out of the room.

Folding the handkerchief carefully, Severus could not resist the urge to bring the square of fabric to his nose. It did indeed smell like the vixen. With a guilty glance at the cat flap through which his furry familiar had disappeared, Severus snuck the bit of cloth under his pillow. That night, as he fell asleep, Severus' hand crept under his pillow. Instead of grasping the wand he kept there, his hand wrapped around a small square of white cloth, clutching it tightly.

Elsewhere in the castle, a young witch was having her own trouble falling asleep. When Professor Snape had hugged Hermione, she'd finally sensed the answer to the question plaguing her for two months. Her Professor, Severus Snape, was in love with her!