Poisoned.
Chapter 2 of 6
Ophelia ImmortalLucius Malfoy is having to cope with the side effects from his encounter with Hermione.
Poisoned.
"I hear you calling and it's needles and pins
I want to hurt you just to hear you screaming my name
Don't want to touch you but you're under my skin
I want to kiss you but your lips are venomous poison
You're poison running through my veins"
Poison, Alice Cooper
Lucius Malfoy Apparated moments later to the entrance hall of Malfoy Manor, Wiltshire. Taking one angry look around the empty space, he called for one of his house-elves.
"G-good morning, m-master," it squeaked appearing on its knees before him.
"You insolent vermin, how dare you make me wait?" he exclaimed, hitting the prostrate creature on the head with his cane.
"S-sorry, master," it yelped in pain. "I-I wills punish myself."
"Yes, see that you do." he said in irritated tones. "Blinky, I have work to do. I shall be in my study and will not tolerate any form of disturbance."
"Y-yes, master!" it said getting up slowly in order to take the wizard's cloak and gloves once he discarded them. It was however caught by surprise when noting a swollen and red mark on his left hand. Unfortunately, when Lucius threw his garments at the cowering elf, it was still observing the mark and failed in catching one of the gloves. Squealing in terror, it chanced looking up at its master's face and remained petrified at the anger it saw there. Closing its eyes, it tried in vain to protect itself from the frightening glare only to be thrown across the marble floor when the wizard kicked it neatly on the head. It got up shakily to kneel at his feet.
"Bad Blinky! You have greatly displeased me." He spat.
"I-I is sorry, master; I is no-not meaning it."
"I shall explain this in a way that even you will understand: go to the kitchens, switch on one of the ovens and when it is at its maximum heat, put your head in it."
"Ye-yes, master. Bl-blinky will do as master asks." It wailed, picking up the clothes with trembling fingers.
"And clean up any mess you might make; I do not want to eat anything that has been contaminated by you."
"Yes, m-master." It said, snapping his fingers and vanishing with a loud crack.
Servants just aren't as they used to be... he smirked as he walked out of the entrance hall, crossed one of the many corridors lined with portraits and relics of generations past, and arrived at his study where he locked the door behind him. After sitting down at his desk, he summoned a decanter of Firewhiskey and a large glass from his drinking cabinet, poured a large amount and gulped it all down. He took in a shuddering breath as the amber liquid rasped his throat.
He looked at his still injured left hand where she had left her teeth marks, making the flesh around the bite swollen. That Mudblood dared to mark me! Me!
Instantly, he had a vision of her trembling whilst pressed against the bookcase, her face flushed, tears streaming from her eyes, and blood trickling from her lips. He smirked at the memory; she had been terrified.
But then another vision snaked into his mind... Her light touch sending jolts to his spine, her sweet tongue moving sensually in his mouth, her own warm and tasting of blood; her breasts, those voluptuous breasts, rubbing against him...
"Good God!" he exclaimed at his growing arousal. How humiliating! I cannot believe I am aroused by that Mudblood whore!
He decided to ignore the bulge in his trousers and poured himself another glass. Although after a few minutes, his discomfort had risen to such extents he could not resist any further. So, swallowing down all of his pride, he opened his trousers and gingerly removed himself from his silk black boxers. Slowly, he started to move his hand up and down his shaft.
How dare she? How dare she?! He thought as he continued to pump into his hand, panting slightly. How dared she make him want sexual gratification from the likes of her? She would pay, of that he was certain. He would make her scream; he would hurt her and break her, and he would enjoy every moment of it.
But every thought of revenge and violent desire were blown away when another image entered his mind. An image of her hands, not his, stroking him. Her soft, small hands pumping his manhood; her face only inches away from the head. His hand picked up its pace. Her opening her mouth, licking the tip with her little pink tongue...
"Oh, Circe!" he shouted as he came into his hand, his seed dripping down onto the antique carpet, while he panted, gasped for breath.
How the hell does she have this effect on me? It was quite ludicrous: he, Lucius Malfoy, a pureblood and object of desire of countless witches, affected by a Mudblood. It was just too much.
"Scourgify." He had finished cleaning his hands and the carpet when he heard a knock on the door.
"Who is it?"
"Severus."
Perfect, just perfect, He thought angrily. He had to call on me now of all times! Quickly placing his still semi hard member in his trousers and straightening himself up, he raised his wand and, with a lazy flick, opened the door.
"And what brings you here, Severus?" he enquired coldly.
"Since I have been living here for over a month, my presence at your study door should not cause you so much surprise. What is so strange in my paying a visit to the lord of manor?" he replied as he entered, closing the door behind him. He noticed straightaway that his friend was troubled by something and that he had also had sought comfort with maybe a glass too many of whisky.
"What comes as a surprise is your finding enough time to visit me when you are now the most popular amidst our ranks." he snapped.
"Oh no, not at the moment, although I must admit I am highly requested," he sneered.
"Severus, as usual, you have called at the most inopportune of moments. Now will you kindly tell me what you want before I lose my patience?"
"The Dark Lord wants to see you tonight."
Oh, what a delightful day! First Mudblood Granger, then Severus, the miserable bore, and now the Dark Lord.
He cleared his throat slightly. "Ahem... Pray do tell, why would he want to see me? And why must you pass on the message? Can he no longer call me with the Dark Mark?"
"From what I understood, he wants to see if you are worthy of a second chance. You know, even after your humiliating fiasco at the Ministry, he may consider forgiving you."
What is this?! The Dark Lord would no sooner give second chances than Severus Snape would wish to adopt Potter. He quickly dismissed this thought, as it did not seem at all appropriate to laugh at his friend, though the absurdity of the image was enough to make him smile.
"When you see fit to remove that sardonic grin from your face, I will continue," Severus drawled, quickly bringing him back to reality.
"Please, forgive the interruption."
"As I was saying, the Dark Lord is willing to give you another chance. He sees that you are faithful, unlike your late wife Narcissa, and ever obedient. He thinks that it would be best that you return to our ranks, thus also giving aid to Draco, who seems somewhat reluctant."
"Do you not think her stepping in front of her son as he was about to receive the Dark Mark, and being killed by our Master as a result, could have anything to do with it?"
"Possibly. Anyway, Draco seems to not want to take the Mark until he is absolutely sure. I think you should tell him that he had better hurry up. The Dark Lord's patience is waning."
"You seem to have forgotten to explain why the Dark Lord is willing to forgive me."
"I imagine you want the truth?"
"If you would be so kind."
"The truth is that you are a valuable piece on his chessboard. You were certainly of greater value before, when you had free access to the Ministry, but nevertheless you are one of the more powerful and obedient followers he has. He had thought that you may want to seek revenge for you wife's death, however I assured him that on the contrary, you valued him more."
"Then it appears I should thank you, Severus." He said, inclining his head. "But what exactly must I do for him?"
"Well... apparently you, I and a few selected others have been chosen for an attack... but the rest of the details will be given by the Dark Lord himself."
"So all I have to do is complete this mission?"
"Yes, and do try not to ruin it like last time."
"Last time..." he started before Snape cut him short
"Last time, you were stopped by a group of six teenagers! Even Longbottom and Weasley got the upper hand on you! And you had thirteen of the strongest Death Eaters at your disposal! I could understand Granger giving you problems, but... " he stopped at the look on his friend's face "What in the world is wrong Lucius?! You remind me of the time your venison was under seasoned."
Lucius' face had started to redden with fury, but with his pale complexion, it just made his cheeks pink. "Do not worry yourself, Severus," he retorted angrily. "You know quite well how denigrating it was: being beaten by a group of children."
"I can imagine. And no doubt the Dark Lord will remind you of it, so hold your tongue because that horrible temper of yours always gets you into trouble. Like the time you were caught brawling in Flourish and Blotts with Arthur Weasley." Again he stopped for his friend had started to shake.
"Are you certain you are alright?"
"Yes, yes quite alright. I might have had too much to drink. What time do you suppose the Dark Lord will call me?"
"Around nine tonight, but then again I cannot be sure."
"Then I had better retire to my rooms: a few hours of rest will do me good." And with that, he nodded curtly at his friend as he Disapparated out of his study, not fancying having to walk all the way to his chambers.
As soon as he got there, he went straight to his bathroom and, looking in the enormous mirror, saw that he did indeed have a face that revealed all the emotions simmering underneath: wrath, revulsion, and to his uttermost disgust, desire. He looked down at his still swollen hand before taking an small jar ointment from the cabinet and applying it to the wound. He hissed as it started to smoke. After a few seconds, the smoke had disappeared, taking the mark with it. Severus.
Turning to the bedroom, he started to undress, scattering his garments on the floor of his room. He sat down on his king-sized four-poster bed, and after removing his shoes and socks, he lay down between emerald silk sheets. He found the almost liquid feel of the material against his skin so sensual. Narcissa always used to wear silk, but certainly not to please him, merely to show herself in all her beauty and power to the lesser people. Had he ever loved her? Of course not: it had been a marriage of convenience, decided and planned by their parents. He had not objected however, and why should he have? She had been the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. But no, there had never been love in their house. He smirked Love is money for the poor; little wonder the Weasleys have so many offspring. He could not even say he missed his wife, as her absence was just a variation of a habit: for so many years, she had been there by his side, and now she was no more.
Turning over in bed, he closed his eyes, but could find no solace from the lustful images that flooded his mind. His sleeping member became suddenly and painfully awake, much to his anger. Not being able to ignore it, he pleasured himself, wanting to get it over with, but he found himself yet again imagining it was she who was caressing him, her breasts rubbing against his body, hot, wet mouth kissing, and licking his skin... Groaning, he came for the second time in an hour thinking of her. She has poisoned me! How else could I be subject to this madness?!
But he was too exhausted to feel humiliated and drifted off immediately into an uneasy sleep, his mind becoming a prison of lascivious thoughts.
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Ophelia-chan! It's Persephone! I found you on here too. Awesome ;D I hope you can start writing again
Prima di tutto, 5 belle stelline a questa storia.Scrivere rape fics non è mai semplice, per il solo fatto che bisogna equilibrare le sensazioni della vittima con quelle del carnefice, e bisogna stare attenti a non glorificare l'atto dello stupro. E tu ci sei riuscita perfettamente, nonostante questa fosse la tua prima storia (e credimi, non è semplice: ho letto le fic di tanti autori alle prime armi [e anche molto più grandi di te] che hanno trattato l'argomento con una superficialità raccapricciante).La cosa che mi è più piaciuta, è stata la scena che ha coinvolto Snape ed Hermione. Di questo capitolo è la mia preferita in assoluto (anche perchè Snape/Hermione è uno dei miei pairings preferiti XD).Comunque, devo ancora una volta congratularmi con te per il modo in cui sei riuscita a mantenere i personaggi IC. A partire da Hermione, e a continuare con Draco, Snape, Lucius e Bellatrix (anche se alcuni di loro non compaiono in questo cap), neppure uno solo di loro ha stonato. Li hai descritti esattamente come la Row ce li ha presentati (se non meglio [anzi, sicuramente meglio]). Tanto per cominciare, gli atteggiamenti e le parole sia di Severus che di Lucius mostrano i personaggi per come sono veramente, senza una sola sbavatura di OOC. Poi, il contesto in cui stanno interagendo non solo è originalissimo, ma anche ben strutturato.Davvero, non so che altro dire (anzi, si, però lo riservo per il prossimo cap :P)Bacioni,la tua coscienza xxx
wow this is an amazing story so far! i cant wait to read more. when are you planning on posting the next chapter?
can't you -just by chance - cut his cock off, please?he has to pay for this. blast this creature.the idea with using he blood to trail her down was good.with what may come Hermine might wish he had finished his curse. Will be interesting to see Snapes reaction on finding his former pupil as his friends toy.
Bene, bene. Ho riletto questo capitolo con gioia, e riflettendoci su più accuratamente, devo ammettere che l'ho trovato attinente a quelle che sono le personalità di Lucius ed Hermione. Lucius ha ancora una volta dato prova della sua natura sadica e contorta, ma allo tesso tempo non ha potuto fare a meno di sfoderare il suo complesso 'narcisistico di onnipotenza.' Non a caso ha voluto che Hermione traesse piacere dalla loro interazione sessuale (per quanto inquietanti le circostanze che hanno portato ad essa siano).Dal canto suo, Hermione non ha potuto far altro che lasciarsi sopraffare dalla propria ingenuità e dal lato oscuro di Malfoy, il quale ha corrotto la sua innocenza in modo oserei dire perverso ed inumano.E' inutile che ti dica che aspetto con ansia il prossimo aggiornamento :)
Prima di tutto tengo a precisare di essere profondamente incazzata... Cioè, un solo commento? Non so se mi spiego. Dio, Franci, il terzo capitolo non solo era stilisticamente più raffinato dei precedenti, ma aveva anche un plot di una tale originalità ed intensità da meritare almeno il quadruplo dei commenti che hai invece ricevuto... Sul serio. La trama di questa storia è estremamente intelligente ed intrigante, e io personalmente non capsico come mai ANCHE QUI la gente sembri non accorgersene.
Vabbè, ma qui si ritorna al discorso trito e ritrito dell'età mentale dei lettori, cosa che credo non sia il caso di riprendere, in caso qui ci sia qualcuno in grado di capire l'italiano :P
A parte questo però, nonostante su questo sito ci siano storie di indubbia qualità, c'è da dire che la maggior parte di esse sono PARECCHIO noiose. Molte sono post-Hogwarts e con trame che seppur ben articolate, distorcono la personalità dei personaggi descritti dalla Row (vediamo per es. un'Hermione che non possiede nemmeno un quarto delle caratteristiche della vera Hermione, o un Piton che pur rimanendo freddo, tutt'a un tratto mi diventa civile e oserei dire 'umano'), e magari è anche per questo che le fic che si sviluppano lungo la direttiva Hogwarts/Voldemort regnante non ricevono l'attenzione e i meriti che meritano (ma che bel gioco di parole).
Anche vero però, è che TPP non è un sito molto frequentato, quindi è molto difficile che possa competere con le recenzioni lasciate su AFF. Però il prestigio che deriva da averci una fic postata non è certo da sottovalutare :)
Mi sono persa in chiacchiere come al solito. Volevo solo dirti che sono fiera di te e del lavoro che stai svolgendo con questa splendida storia. Non mi stancherò mai di ripeterti quanta stoffa ci sia in te. Coltiva le tue capacità fino in fondo, perchè anche se nel tuo cammino incontrerai TANTA gente ignorante che non saprà apprezzarle, troverai anche chi (seppur in minoranza perchè gli uomini intelligenti sono come le mosche bianche) sarà in grado do vedere e riconoscere il tuo infinito talento.
La tua coscienza
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
Cara coscienza,
come al solito i tuoi commenti mi fanno tantissimo piacere, e sono molto felice che tu trovi che io stia migliorando. Come avrai notatato sto cambiando un bel pò rispetto all'originale postato su AFF (dato che, e mi vergogno a dirlo, non usavo proprio il mio cervellino quando scrivevo :p)
Non mi disturba troppo (non ho detto affatto, ne)non ricevere molte reviews, e almeno su questo sito non mi arrivano le solite "Bel capitolo non vedo l'ora del prossimo". Ma almeno i tuoi mi fanno felice. Bah vediamo come va. Almeno sto maturando io, e non può che essere positivo questo.
Tantissimi baci
Franci
p.s. Il capitolo 17 tarderà ancora un pò, sto aspettando di finire di modificare tutti i precedenti capitoli prima di completarlo. Mi spiace per l'attesa :(
Great chapter!! I can't wait to find out what happens next.
Ciao Francesca! E' la tua coscienza che ti parla :PDunque, ora che ho trovato un pò di tempo libero, sono finalmente riuscita a leggere il primo capitolo. Come già sai, i tuoi lavori mi piacciono davvero molto, però c'è una cosa che ho notato, e che credo sarebbe opportuno tu ti soffermassi ad osservare. Esempio: Poor thing. She is quite alluring, it is indeed a pity she is such an abomination, really; I might have even considered a more fulfilling relationship. Merlin, Azkaban must have really lowered my standards. After a beautiful trophy-wife like Narcissa, precious few can be considered her equal, particularly not this lowly female before me… But still, it would be one way of settling matters. The more I think of it the more it seems the perfect retribution: she has humiliated me, it seems only fair to reciprocate.Allora, secondo me i testi risulterebbero più fluidi e decisamente più maturi se invece di descrivere certe scene come pensieri dei personaggi, tu le descrivessi come parte della narrazione.Esempio: Lucius thought she was alluring, but she would have been more desiderable if her blood had been pure.Ovviamente, questo era solo uno stralcio del pezzo che ho citato sopra, ma a mio avviso, orientare la narrazione lungo questa direzione, aumenterebbe notevolmente la qualità formale dei testi.Spero che i miei consigli ti siano d'aiuto per i prossimi capitoli.La tua coscienza.
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
Salve Coscienza :DDa un pò che non ci si sente. Grazie per il consiglio, vedrò cosa posso fare per migliorarmi ancora. Sai che apprezzo moltissimo il tuo parere, e grazie ancora per tutto l'aiuto che mi hai dato, e sopratutto tutte le spinte per portarmi dove sono ora.Con tutto il mio affettoOphelia
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
Salve Coscienza :DDa un pò che non ci si sente. Grazie per il consiglio, vedrò cosa posso fare per migliorarmi ancora. Sai che apprezzo moltissimo il tuo parere, e grazie ancora per tutto l'aiuto che mi hai dato, e sopratutto tutte le spinte per portarmi dove sono ora.Con tutto il mio affettoOphelia
That's our girl, cleaver, resourceful and clear-headed. Lucius didn't have a chance this time...
Hey, I like this chapter. Very well done indeed!you did a great job on showing Hermiones feelings without using to much repetition this time. (found it disturbing last time. sorry)and you draw an interesting picture of all the characters.starts to get more and more interesting.what about ron and harry. are they going to be on stage any more?thank you for the chaptersalva
Someone says Hermione is OOC in this story, and I have to disagree. Even though in the books she's portrayed as a bossy, determined and intelligent girl, this is exactly what she is, that is, just a girl (which means that she's not indestructible). Plus, given the way she was portrayed throughout the 7th book (where she cried on alternative chapters), I don't think Ophelia is describing her OOC. In canon we never had to deal with a 17-years old Hermione Granger who was abducted and raped by a Death Eater, so no one can know how she would have reacted. Moreover, I don't think there's a scheme that illustrates how a woman who's been raped should react, and considering that everyone reacts differently to what happens to them, I really fail to see this OOC-ness people keep talking about. At last, I believe it would be wise to remember that Hermione not only is stubborn and bossy; she's sensible, thoughtful and loyal too, and these are all characteristics that most authors tend to forget or ignore when writing their stories. This is why I appreciate Ophelia's work. She is seeing Hermione as a human being, not as some sort of wonder-woman.
i was really curious about how you would show draco that hermione was at the manor. you did that scene (and every other scene of the story) amazing. and dont listen to anyone who says you are not portraying hermione well. you are showing the human side of her, instead of the perfect warrior princess too often shown by some stories. well done!
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
Thank you for your compliments, as soon as I manage to finish editing the next chapters I can send them to my beta, so please be patient for an update. As to my portrayal of Hermione, I tried to imagine how she would feel. No matter how strong someone is, after a traumatizing expirience such as this one, it would just seem wrong if she could get up and react straight away. I don't know that's my opinion. Anyways, thanks again for the review.
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
Thank you for your compliments, as soon as I manage to finish editing the next chapters I can send them to my beta, so please be patient for an update. As to my portrayal of Hermione, I tried to imagine how she would feel. No matter how strong someone is, after a traumatizing expirience such as this one, it would just seem wrong if she could get up and react straight away. I don't know that's my opinion. Anyways, thanks again for the review.
You have still kept Snape's loyalties ambiguous, he could go either way. Interesting story, I hope Hermione gets a chance for retribution.
What planet does Lucius live on, that he thinks she will ever want him after what he has done. The best he can hope for is that she never gets her hand on her wand when he is within hexing distance!
Fingers crossed, I hope Severus is still on the right side and helps her, and deals to Lucius!
How did Lucius know where to find her?
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
With a tracking spell (I made that one up, I know, but I'm sure somewhere in the Harry Potter Universe it's not impossible). He used her blood to be able to locate her.
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
With a tracking spell (I made that one up, I know, but I'm sure somewhere in the Harry Potter Universe it's not impossible). He used her blood to be able to locate her.
Ha ha , Lucius, serves you right!
Lucius is not as smart as he thinks he is, trying to attack Hermione in public. Even if he hadn't been stopped, there would have been three witnesses to obliviate at least.
Absolutely appaling how you have portraid Lucius. I so want to hex him. Hermione hopefully in yur eyes is made of better stuff than you ahve portraid her. She's not weak. She is a fighter. ahhh. grrrr
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
First of all thanks for reviewing, it gives an author some idea of how their story is for others. Now to you comments:Hopefully appaling is referred to how he acts and not my actual way of portraying him. As for Hermione, though many fics portray her as some form of super-girl, completely unfazed by her surroundings and the situations she lives, I don't think it's too wild a guess to figure she's not. Look at the Harry Potter books, she has difficuly coping with a few situations, as is right for a 17-18 year old girl. She may be a fighter, but can you honestly imagine a rape-victim getting up from the dirt and trying to fight back straight away? It's not weakness it's human. Thanks again
Response from Ophelia Immortal (Author of Deliciously So...)
First of all thanks for reviewing, it gives an author some idea of how their story is for others. Now to you comments:Hopefully appaling is referred to how he acts and not my actual way of portraying him. As for Hermione, though many fics portray her as some form of super-girl, completely unfazed by her surroundings and the situations she lives, I don't think it's too wild a guess to figure she's not. Look at the Harry Potter books, she has difficuly coping with a few situations, as is right for a 17-18 year old girl. She may be a fighter, but can you honestly imagine a rape-victim getting up from the dirt and trying to fight back straight away? It's not weakness it's human. Thanks again
Oh gods, Lucius is really sick! I can't stand him in this. Can't Severus do anything? and Ron and Harry, they haven't got a clue to go by... and Hermione - I really feel for her. How can anyone really think being raped like that that she will sudden'y want Lucius unless he drugs her to do so. This is really sick.
Oh ewe!!!! I want to rip him apart!! If this turns into a rape then she falls for him story, I'll puke.
Oh I loved the use of the dream, backstory and present to give us a full understanding of what's happening! Really good.
Oh, I want to hex him for his mistreatment of Blinky! The little elf was only concerned for him, the horrible prat! It's too bad Hermione has gotten under his thick hide - he's not good enough for her. I hope Hermione knows better to stay away!
Poison is my favorite song!!!! I enjoyed both these chapters, and that makes me enjoy them even more lol :D