Yea Neville his my hero

his a teacher of course he can get into anybodies room

i love riddles

oh an evil cliffie  how quant

Great chapter

hmm they are starting to notice each other

this seems to be an awesome story to bad its abandoned

I love puzzles.

Is the riddle's answer "cards"?

I very much enjoyed this. Your spelling is flawless, which, for a spelling Nazi like myself, was delightful! I like your premise, too - that Hermione finally snaps. You've got a nice style of writing, and some of your phrases are beautiful, for example, "She no longer cared about points, Potions, or herself." That has a certain ring - the triad of things she no longer cares about, with the one with the fewest syllables at the beginning.

Criticism I'd give:

1. Don't use exclamation marks so much, especially in non-dialogue writing. Using exclamation marks in dialogue is more acceptable, as they can indicate a character's way of speaking. Remove every exclamation mark from your work, and then allow yourself 5 to use in the entire chapter. And delete the chapter and make yourself write it from scratch again if you use 6. Really. It'll be worth it.

2. Italics, not capitals, if you want to place emphasis on a word. Capitals for shouting are fine (witness JKR herself). But if you want a reader to lay stress on a word as they read to themself, use italics.

3. "He was very logical and witty, however his intelligence was usually [...] "

should read

"He was very logical and witty. However, his intelligence was usually [...]".

Or even

"He was very logical and witty, although his intelligence was usually [...]".

I believe, although an expert on colon and semi-colon use may correct me, that you could say

"He was very logical and witty: however, his intelligence was usually [...] "

4. And minor points, like "cold stony floor" would read better as "cold stone floor." And don't say chocolate eyes - say brown eyes. Nothing wrong with brown. If you use chocolate, all it will make a serious reader do is wrinkle their nose and think you need to use elaborate language to snare attention, and not the way you use more average words. Every writer has these little wobbles and hiccoughs, but still, try to notice them.

If you've waded your way through this review, I am very impressed. :D I look forward very much to the next chapter - what usage under the sun is that toothbrush going to have? :D

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I just read this all the way through and was wondering if you were considering continuing it.