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Malfoy Manor Dracpunzel
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Dracpunzel

1: Prologue: In Which Ideas are Hare-Brained

2: Chapter the First: In Which Unwise Incursions are Made

3: Chapter the Second: In Which Hare-Brained Ideas are Committed to Parchment

4: Chapter the Third: In Which Childbirth Transpires

5: Chapter the Fourth: In Which Severus Gains an Apprentice…

6: Chapter the Fifth: …and Begins Losing his Mind

7: Chapter the Sixth: In Which it is Established that This is a Hairy Situation

8: Chapter the Seventh: In Which ‘Dracaena Draco,’ etc. Becomes a Household Word

9: Chapter the Eighth: In Which There are Queer Developments

10: Chapter the Ninth: In Which Draco is Blond

11: Chapter the Tenth: In Which Loopholes are Sought

12: Chapter the Eleventh: In Which Desperate Measures are Taken

13: Chapter the Twelfth: In Which Severus Sees More Than He Would Have Preferred

14: Chapter the Thirteenth: In Which Draco is a Princess

15: Chapter the Fourteenth: In Which Harry is Awfully Short for a Prince

16: Chapter the Fifteenth: In Which Draco’s Prince Comes...

17: Epilogue: In Which Severus is Through With This Sh*t

Dracpunzel

dracontia

69 Reviews   |   69 Ratings, 0 Likes, 1 Favorite )

Humor Alternate Universe Parody Malfoy Manor 22,495 Words 17 Chapters Complete
Draco Malfoy Harry Potter Lucius Malfoy Narcissa Malfoy Original Character Severus Snape Luna Lovegood Albus Dumbledore Minerva McGonagall Name Withheld (surprise) Andromeda (Black) Tonks

Once upon a time, Lucius Malfoy decided to execute a tediously convoluted scheme that went (from his perspective, at least) ridiculously wrong. That really narrows it down, doesn’t it?

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Chapters (17)

Chapter 1: Prologue: In Which Ideas are Hare-Brained

Chapter 2: Chapter the First: In Which Unwise Incursions are Made

Chapter 3: Chapter the Second: In Which Hare-Brained Ideas are Committed to Parchment

Chapter 4: Chapter the Third: In Which Childbirth Transpires

Chapter 5: Chapter the Fourth: In Which Severus Gains an Apprentice…

Chapter 6: Chapter the Fifth: …and Begins Losing his Mind

Chapter 7: Chapter the Sixth: In Which it is Established that This is a Hairy Situation

Chapter 8: Chapter the Seventh: In Which ‘Dracaena Draco,’ etc. Becomes a Household Word

Chapter 9: Chapter the Eighth: In Which There are Queer Developments

Chapter 10: Chapter the Ninth: In Which Draco is Blond

Chapter 11: Chapter the Tenth: In Which Loopholes are Sought

Chapter 12: Chapter the Eleventh: In Which Desperate Measures are Taken

Chapter 13: Chapter the Twelfth: In Which Severus Sees More Than He Would Have Preferred

Chapter 14: Chapter the Thirteenth: In Which Draco is a Princess

Chapter 15: Chapter the Fourteenth: In Which Harry is Awfully Short for a Prince

Chapter 16: Chapter the Fifteenth: In Which Draco’s Prince Comes...

Chapter 17: Epilogue: In Which Severus is Through With This Sh*t


About dracontia

Validated
Author

dracontia

Member Since 2006  |  69 Stories  |  Favorited by 208  |  51 Reviews Written  |  1,397 Review Responses

Mostly Harmless! Though I have to admit, I'm even stranger than I appear. ;-) There's a pile of unbeta'd stuff on my LJ (dracfic) if you're interested in Raw, Untamed, fanfic.

Believe it or not, "How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic" has been rec'ed by Know It Alls! It's true! They gave me this pretty lil' ribbon and everything! And in March 2007, they saw fit to likewise reccommend (as an antidote to angst) the story that started it all, 'Courtesy of Your Fairy God-Jarvey'--just in time for the first anniversary of that story's posting! *hugs Harm*

(I also have to admit that 'mostly harmless' may not be the most apt description of a member of the Mad Chatters...)

Rec'ed by Know It Alls 

Finally, I just have to say... Storyville. If you were there, you know what I mean.

Author Website
http://dracfic.livejournal.com/
Also Archived At
The Hex Files, Sycophant Hex

Reviews for Dracpunzel

Displaying Review 1 - 25 of 69 in total
← Previous 1 2 3 Next →
10/10

sunny33

Poor Sev, dropping the bottle just when he really needed a drink! :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

One wonders... does a TRUE Slytherin ever drop the bottle? Happy Halloween, cuz

Response from sunny33 (Reviewer)

We all know he's got them all fooled. He a Hufflepuff in disguise! Happy Halloween to you too! :D

10/10

sunny33

LOL seventeen! :D

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

I admit, I went for the low-hanging fruit there.

10/10

sunny33

Bet he didn't knock... :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

<--says it all

10/10

sunny33

I am a bit concerned about Draco's fascination with cleavage, especially as it is his own... :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Draco is one seriously cracked teacup. Not even mummy & daddy have enough galleons to put that egg back together again.

10/10

sunny33

I'm surprised he didn't stop for a quickie with Luna before he left.  I'm sure she'd be up for it... he certainly was! ;)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Are you kidding? He's already afraid of what Minerva would think (whether he admits to wanting to take her up on the offer or not!) Besides, the grey eyes/blonde thing would leave him with nightmares. 

10/10

sunny33

Lucius isn't silly. :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Oh, he's silly, all right... but he writes a water-tight contract!

10/10

sunny33

I've got nothing. You have rendered me speechless... :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

I didn't realize that was possible! *wonders if there is some sort of award attached to the achievement...*

10/10

sunny33

Bet sev had a few sneaky peeks at the mags as well. ;)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

He only reads them for the artcles.

10/10

sunny33

Severeus won't know what hit him! :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Nope indeedy!

10/10

sunny33

A nice French plait, perhaps, with a few sparkly clips for effect? :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Wormy is a true artiste

10/10

sunny33

LOL Keep thinking of all those goodies the malfoys could provide, Sev! :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

He's making a list and checking it twice...

10/10

braye27

Hummm... Draco Severus  has a certain cachet, don't you think?  Beth

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Regardless of what I think, poor Draco remains sadly unimpressed! Thanks very much for all the reviews!

10/10

braye27

Poor, poor, Severus.  Will he live to regret this?  Or will he find a way to turn this to his advantage?Beth

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

There is absolutely no reason why he can't do both! Thanks kindly for reviewing!

10/10

braye27

Ah ha!  Now I see who the real power player is— Narcissa Malfoy!  Beth

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Lucius has always been rather more decorative than otherwise.

10/10

braye27

I wonder if this an indication of the kinds of "good ideas by Lucius" that Narcissa is going to face in the future?  Poor Narcissa.A delightful beginning!  Beth

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

The backfiring spell icon is a pretty apt summary of the quality of Lucius' ideas. Thank you for reviewing!

10/10

sunny33

Not sure whether to feel more sorry for Draco or Severus. :)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

They are both poor, put-upon souls deserving of pity.

10/10

sunny33

Poor Draco, named after a plant! Guess it was lucky Narcissa wasn't craving trifoliate oranges... poncirus trifoliata. 

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Poncirus ABSOLUTELY must be some wizard's name!

10/10

sunny33

I can see why he wants appropriate housebreaking to have taken place before receiving said goods. :) 

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Believe me, if I could've imposed such conditions of delivery on my own spawn, I would have...

10/10

sunny33

What were those magazines again, Sev? ;)

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Severus declines to answer on the grounds we already have a pretty good idea...

10/10

sunny33

Starting again as i have been so slack. :D

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

I'm sure you'll have the slack taken up in no time

10/10

mick42

* Happy Sigh * And they all lived Happily ever after .

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

I understand that Minerva, at least, has no complaints! Thanks most kindly for reviewing!

10/10

mick42

The periwinkle will be devine with Draco's colouring, I just hope Prince Harry will ummm... appreciate it.

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Harry's initial reaction is something like this: For the rest, see Chapter 14, which is patiently awaiting your perusal. Thank you for reviewing!

10/10

jadecadence

"“Wormy is right beside young Draco,” the elf said, in the tone that bespoke extraordinary long-suffering. " " “Wormy apologizes for his unseemly show of grief,” the elf said convincingly. “" (was he actually unseemingly happy to be separated from Draco? I'm not really clear about that)- and thus began some of many marvellous lines, so many that I can't really pick out my fav. :D :D :D Truly, I think I had to stop counting because they are all vying for accolades. --- How did you get to brandish words so well? I'm a piano teacher, so I appreciate rhythm and you have that in spades! ^_^ Did you by any chance do English Literature for your GCSEs? :P 

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

Wormy was definitely happy at the prospect of seeing the back of Draco; whether or not you deem it unseemly is dependent on how difficult you think Draco was to care for--never mind, there is a imaginary elf glaring at me to convey that it was entirely appropriate. <--Wormy doesn't have to punish himself--he just finds his job frustrating on occasion.Fortunately for Wormy, so much of Draco's energy is devoted to growing hair that it is a simple matter to mislead him.Thank you very kindly for the review-- and for the expansion of my general education! I had to look up 'GCSE,' as my nearest British ancestor is so many generations removed that there was not yet any difference in accents between one side of the pond and the other. Once, many ages ago, I convinced the University to award me a degree in Psychology; but my literary education was of the most perfunctory sort. I admire anyone who can decipher music! I never could make head or tail of the notation.

10/10

mick42

Poor Severus Lord Thanestrife I should say, he may be able to get out more when Draco is off his hands. Now I am all a quiver waiting for the next chapter.

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

LOL OK, now I have a completely off-topic image of Minerva saying, "All right luv, the bairns are all out of the house!"  The wait is over; go see if you can help poor Draco figure out what to wear to a rescue. 

10/10

jadecadence

The last few words in this chapter was a bit cumbersome to make the sentence not lag no matter how many times i try to adjust for reading. However, your depiction of Luna and the conversation was informative. I think because you try to let us readers into the details of your imagination, you try to fit in as many of these gems as possible and I do appreciate seeing it played out in High-Definition, don't get me wrong. It's just that I was trying to find out what made you (this author) tick and you certainly have a first-rate mind! :D 

Response from dracontia (Author of Dracpunzel)

I'm sorry about that! I've added some extra punctuation in an effort to break it into better sense units. Please accept Chapter 13 (hopefully punctuated more helpfully!) by way of apology! <--sheepish!

Displaying Review 1 - 25 of 69 in total
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