Seven: In which participation at certain festivities is disincentivised
Chapter 7 of 11
richardgloucesterRon, Harry and Hermione discover the consequences of their inaction with regard to saving the life of one Chosen by the gods – or in this case, goddess. And it all becomes vastly more complicated when the school hires workmen to fix the battle damage at Hogwarts.
ReviewedSeven: In which participation at certain festivities is disincentivised
“I thought you were going to have a lie-in.”
It was the Easter holidays, and Hermione was down at Elland's place. Considerably more ancient than Hogwarts, it nevertheless felt comfortable and home-like to her. It was, in essence, a large barn-like structure with a few outbuildings, solid, like a weight pinning down the undulating Berkshire countryside, and within a wonderland of carvings and smithcraft and warmth and fun. Berkshire and yet not Berkshire – it was a reality existing alongside her own, with few of the inconveniences or annoyances of her modern world, and to which she was granted access as a favoured guest of the Smith. There were advantages to being a god, she thought, such as being able to live half a step to the side of what most people perceived as real. She hadn't worked it out yet, but for once she thought that knowledge could be postponed. Investigation would puncture the holiday air of being otherwhere; besides which, here she was accepted for what she was, with no expectations or demands, and it would be rude not to reciprocate.
“I'm still in bed, aren't I?”
“Well, let me just look underneath all these books and scrolls to see if there is a bed in here ...”
Hermione grinned. “I'm having fun. And you've been out working, haven't you?”
Smith's broad shoulders and muscled arms glistened with sweat, and a trickle ran down his throat and chest to disappear behind the heavy apron.
“Just mucking about – holiday stuff. After all that iron, it's good to play with precious metals for a while.”
“Ditto – mucking about. Though some of this is making me think ...”
“What doesn't make you think, lass?”
The Smith pushed her books aside and joined her on the bed. She ran a finger down his arm to his hand. She traced the nicks and scars it bore, the toughened skin on the knuckles, the calluses on the fingers and palm.
“Why do you do this?” she asked, a puzzled frown creasing her brow. “You don't have to bear scars, or sweat, or even have a heartbeat.” She laid her own palm against his chest. “So why?”
Smith paused before answering.
“It's a price,” he said, finally. “I don't have to pay it, being what I am, but anything gained, or anything made, should exact a price in effort, in toil, in thought. Or it is worthless. Your ideas, now, that come rushing like cool water from a spring, you pay for them with this line that's coming on your forehead, or with the hunch you're getting from study, or the amount of time you're on your own. Don't cry, lass – they're the badge of something worthwhile, like the scars you're gathering yourself from smithing.”
She gave a wobbly laugh. “And whoever would have thought I'd take to that? It's always been theory, theory, theory with me ...”
“Theory's but a barren cow without it be put to breed. You've a talent for putting thought into action, or you wouldn't be the witch you are, but you're one who needs to get her hands dirty to really show what you can do. Your pure academics like McGonagall don't really understand that.”
Hermione blinked rapidly. “Let's not talk about me,” she suggested.
“And of course the other reason,” continued Smith as though she hadn't spoken, “is that I've noticed you've a liking for freshly sweaty brawny men ...”
“What girl doesn't?” she giggled, then shrieked as he tumbled her back into the furs. “My scrolls!”
“Bugger the scrolls.”
It was probably around teatime when Smith thought to mention that Wayland was expecting a guest for the Easter weekend. Hermione was a little miffed that he got around to mentioning it only when Wayland and his guest were actually standing at the foot of the bed looking down at them. There was informality, and then there was waking up tousled and smelly with the brain on a three-second delay.
Still, she reflected, once the grey cells had caught up with the fact that the eyes were open and the mouth was talking, if the guest in question finds nothing inappropriate in the situation, then she herself could probably outlive the embarrassment.
The woman Wayland had brought to see them was built on the same statuesque lines as Ms Lapanne, and was as beautiful, but there the resemblance ended. Where Ms Lapanne looked as though she spent twenty-five hours out of every twenty-four at the beauty salon, this woman was utterly natural. Her dark hair tumbled freely around her shoulders and down her back, soft and lustrous yet unbrushed and starred with flowers that were not artfully placed but looked as though they had just been caught up by happenstance. Her robe was of simple green homespun, belted with a broad, flat braid bearing every colour a flower had ever shown, her arms flashed with simple gold bracelets, her feet were bare and dirty with fresh earth. Hermione found herself entranced, and though she blushed when the woman leaned forward to cup her head and play with her hair – it was an intimate gesture – she knew that there was no criticism. Perhaps a little amusement at Hermione's mess of curls and frizz, but no disapproval.
“Dear girl.” The voice was light, yet wild. “You make me happy.”
She dared to look right into a pair of eyes as grey as storm clouds and knew the statement for simple truth.
“You ... you make me happy, too, ma'am,” she stuttered.
The woman smiled. “Then that is as it should be. I am Eostre. Your eyes are the colour of horse chestnuts. So pretty. I think you must not stay here for my party. Not this year. You are not ready. Not yet.” Her hand still cupping Hermione's head, she bent and kissed her full on the lips. Hermione trembled. “Soon, little one, soon,” said Eostre. “Smith, you will remain here.” Then she took Wayland by the arm and left.
“Buh,” said Hermione. “Buh.”
“She does have that effect,” said the Smith. “But she's right – the spring rites can be ... extreme. I wouldn't be much of a protector if I kept you here.”
Hermione was still shaking, though she could not yet tell if it was fear, awe, arousal, love, excitement, or a mixture of the lot which was coursing through her. The smith held her close.
“We tend to hide it a bit better round mortals,” he said, “but Eostre's never had much time for manners. Spring – real spring – isn't a very mannerly time of year.”
“I noticed that. You know, I think that this year I will be quite happy to sit in the sunshine with nothing but a chocolate egg for company.”
“Belgian chocolate?”
“Swiss, please.”
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Latest 25 Reviews for Whom the Gods Annoy
73 Reviews | 6.16/10 Average
" sitting in the sunshine with nothing but a chocolate egg for company" * sigh * sounds good to me.
Severus is mahing hay while the sun shines.
Oh dear, I never thought I would say this but poor Ron.
Possibly a strange comment, but good call on Homer being color blind. There is speculation that some ancient cultures could not see blue or green. They had no word for it. Of course, there's always James Joyce: "the snot-green sea."
Sounds like Hermione had a happy Christmas after all.
It seems only fitting, that the Gods should drive the most perfect car ever built.
Only Severus would sit playing draughts with the Goddess of love, and worrying about his hemline.
I know she wants a project but one this big will be a challenge, even for a Goddess.
Have just read the story in one go. Really enjoyed Aphrodite's 'gifts', Hermione's new healthier attitude to life, and Severus' musical tastes. Gran is great; would like to see more of her! I really liked the style of the last chapter too.
Lovely
This was so much fun to read! All the immortal characters were so cleverly written. Sev's first chapter obsession with boobies had me in stitches. And I adored the predicaments that Ron and Harry suffered. Thank you for this A-plus, 5-stars, blue ribbon, 1st place story!
I forgot to add that I wish Gran had revealed herself.
This is perfect! Love this chapter - how inventive! Adored everything about it. Positively guffawed about Ron getting a job with Pixar. Love the bit about the nectar (extended life span, hm?) and also that last bit about the chain and the rose... Oh Dicky, this fic was perfect! So unusual and unique and just sheer fun. And a lot of food for thought about the relationship between thinking and doing...
This is so wonderful. And funny. And ABBA? ~cracks up~
There is nothing to say but LOL!
Your Severus is pitch-perfect. From that line about snapping back so hard he's surprised no one heard the twang to this: "Severus felt the uncomfortable twinge in his guts that meant he was about to start saving people again. It was a habit that was proving impossible to break, and usually gave him severe indigestion." -- perfection. Also, Severus would be the one man who finds something lacking in the Goddess of Love. ~snrt~ And the line about Pink Floyd -- more giggle-snorting. And holy God, Snape sings Bohemian Rhapsody in the shower? I am dying here, Dicky! How on earth did I not read this sooner? And the Circe comment? OMG. "Not the right thing to say." Almost died. (Can you tell I'm just commenting as I read?) Well, this is a bloody effing delightful fic, Dicky. I'm quite enjoying myself.
I'm in love already. Your Aphrodite is positively delightful. "Seen one calm day, seen them all." LOL. I am quite excited to see how Severus reacts to being taken under her wing...
I am still reeling at the originality of this idea. The thought of there existing bigger and better magicians than wizards is a compelling idea; that should bring them down a peg or two. Lets face it, even the ones who reject pure-blood ideology and fight against it are patronising towards Muggles at best. This is great! I'm really loving it.
ROFL! Oh! Of course he listens to 'The Wall' and 'Wish you were here' - Where else do you go to for angst? Oh of course, The Smiths: I can hear him in the shower singing at the top of his voice: "I am human and I need to be loved... just like everybody else does." So many LOL lines.
What a fantastically clever excuse to have a purple prose frenzy and get away with it. It's so well done, too. And this is a great premise for what promises to be a very funny take on SS/HG.
I'm just wondering who on earth the Goddess is going to pick for her project.
What a fantastic story. It was sweet, and smart, and oh so very funny, but in a subtle refreshing way. This was an unusual storyline and made for a very enjoyable read. I especially like the manner in which it wrapped up with the last chapter. Thanks for sharing such a fun story!
Thanks for a thoroughly enjoyable read. Your anglo-saxon turn of phrase often makes me chuckle, something I sometimes miss when reading american authors work. And your description of the scottish weather - spot on.
Bugger, just realised I forgot to stock up on marmite when I was over in the UK. Sigh!
John Smith, eh?
Gods are just boys deep down, as it seems. They love to play around with shiny tools. But they do prefer to make their hands dirty at the end of the day.
Cleverly written with much humor and lots of references, of which I probably didn't get all.
Chapter love!
Only Severus could be "not in the mood" when being pursued by the most beautiful female in creation.
There were just too many lines or quotes in this chapter which made me smile, to single one out, but I'll try nonetheless:
"Bazoombas."
Of course I have read this story when it was posted on the Exchange. Back then I was reading it in a frenzy - I just wanted to know what was going on. Much too quick to really appreciate your style ... altough I did learn a fair bit about mythology :-)
Good grief, you truly have a way with words. My words fail me in my attempt to praise you for that.
Just let me say one word: Brilliant.