Free Fall

Disclaimer: The characters here and the world they inhabit are the creation and property of JK Rowling and her assigns.

She was gone from the room when he awoke to full light. She brought him his coffee with a trembling hand and her eyes cast down. She was as perfectly put together as ever, and yet something was off. He had the impression that the eyes he couldn't see were puffy and red.

"My dove..."

She gasped, and her cheeks flushed carmine. The cup rattled in its saucer. She set it down quickly.

In that instant, he knew that it meant something different to her than to him. He cleared his throat. "Andromeda, are you embarrassed about what happened last night?"

"I'm so ashamed," she moaned. "I haven't been widowed a full year, and now I've been un...unfaithful to my husband."

He clasped her hand and pulled her close. "Sit down so we can discuss this." She looked at the bed nervously and Summoned a chair. When she was seated, he continued, "You were completely distraught last night. Was it unfaithfulness or a desperate need for comfort?"

"I don't know," she moaned, wringing her hands and looking down and away. "Maybe I needed it, but, oh, if I could only have been true to Ted!"

"It was beautiful. You... are beautiful."

She shook her head and looked out the window. "I feel so dirty. I never even kissed a man until Ted at the end of our wedding vows. There's never been anyone but him for me in any way, until the night of the Halloween ball."

"So now you feel that I've destroyed or sullied something?" He leaned away from her. She'd learned enough of his body language to know that he was hurt by the thought. "There may have been good reasons for it, but you were abandoned and widowed, my dove. Your loneliness last night was a cloud that surrounded you. I felt you tremble within my arms, and I heard your sighs. I know that you experienced it fully. If I broke through your loneliness and grief and gave you a few moments of joy, I'm not going to apologize." He folded his arms and glared.

She thought about how best to explain. "You haven't done anything wrong, Severus. You did bring me joy, and comfort and... oh, such pleasure... In and of itself, it was wonderful."

He smiled a bit at that and lifted an eyebrow. She struggled to find the words to explain further. "But now I've become some sort of casual affair until the younger witch is old enough to marry you."

"I have no intention..."

"Please, Severus, I can't bear it, not today." She got up and rushed from the room.

They shared Christmas pleasantries and made the day merry for the child, but they were awkward with each other, and it permeated breakfast. Tim had brought Sophy over for the meal, and Andromeda was overly cheerful in her manner to the young Muggle woman. She all but ignored the males present, with the exception of her grandson. Tim picked up an undercurrent between his mother and Snape. It gave him a reason to spend most of his time at the table glaring at the older man. Severus found the look of anger on the friendly Tonks face to be incongruous. He spent the meal stifling his amusement.

Draco alone seemed unconcerned as he ate his meal with the gusto of a still-teenaged boy. If the grown-ups' relationships were complicated, it was no better or worse than the Great Hall of Hogwarts most mornings. Such things shouldn't be allowed to interfere with meals. He left for his parents' house soon after breakfast.

After a heated exchange with his mother in her bedroom, Tim left, taking his girlfriend with him. This left Andromeda alone with Severus. She saw to Teddy's diapers and feedings and helped the child play with his new toys, but the day was somewhat flat for her.

Severus haunted her thoughts, only to appear before her in person at odd moments. When she needed to get a new bottle, he would appear without warning in the kitchen. When she wanted a diaper balm from her still room, he met her at the door of that room, holding the jar out to her. It wasn't odd or strange; Severus was aware of the child's schedule, and he himself had told her that she would soon need to replace the jar of cream in the nursery. She put Teddy down for a nap and backed out of the nursery only to discover she had backed into the tall wizard's arms. "At last," he whispered. He pulled her tight against his body, leaving her in no doubt about his desire.

"I don't know..." she whispered. She shouldn't do it again, or let him do it...what exactly had happened the night before? She shouldn't do it, but somehow her hands were reaching up and behind to circle his neck, and her traitorous body was snuggling closer to his.

"Yes, you do know," he responded. He kissed the nape of her neck as he once said he would and started unfastening her hair pins. He finished that task, and his hands pulled her close again. As his right hand pulled her flush against his own body, his left slid between the fastenings of her robe. He felt her go weak in his arms and said, "You want to make love to me as much as I do you."

She should deny it. She should tell him that he was mistaken and that she would never do such a thing, but it wouldn't be true and they both knew it. She turned in his arms. He pressed her against the wall and kissed her. It was wrong, and she shouldn't do it, but somehow Andromeda wasn't sure whether she was struggling to get away or pressing her body into his questing hands.

"Let me make love to you... properly."

She didn't hear the word that came from her mouth, but based on the look in his eye, she must have consented. He took her hand and led her down the stairs. They stopped to kiss outside his bedroom door when the door bell rang.

"Who could it be?" he asked against her lips.

"I have no idea," she answered. "I'll get rid of them and be right back."

He pulled her tight to himself as he kissed her one last time and then released her. "Don't be long."

"I won't."

When she got to the door, she saw it was her younger sister. She let her in and brought her to the sitting room. Narcissa didn't wait a heartbeat to swing her arm around and slap Andromeda's face.

"You fucking whore!"

Andromeda closed her eyes in shame and collapsed into the nearest chair, sure that whatever Cissy used to follow her opening would be equally vituperative. She wasn't disappointed.

"I should have realized that once you became a blood traitor slut you would just continue. I was taken in by all that sweetness and helpfulness. Do you know what you have done? I wanted you to provide him a haven to recuperate in. I expected you to help heal him. I expected you to send him back to the world where he could take his place among those who will govern. I didn't ever dream that my impressionable son would come home and ask me when you and Severus became a couple!"

"We're not...there was nothing..."

"Did my son not find you naked in Severus's bed this morning?"

Andromeda started to shake her head but suddenly went white with awareness. "I had no idea that he saw..."

"Oh, he indeed saw, big sister. He saw enough to assume quite a bit more."

Andromeda felt as though she couldn't breathe. "It was last night... the one time... I don't know what came over me. I know it can't last..." In that moment she knew she had to end it. After her sister left, she would have to simply pass his door and go into her own room, although everything within her yearned for...

"Word of this better not get out."

"I'm too ashamed; I couldn't tell..." It was whispered in mortification.

"Let's hope Miss Granger doesn't learn of this. One of the reasons I encouraged sending him to you was that I never dreamed you would...or could..." She twisted and looked her sister in the eye. "How did you manage it?"

"I don't think I did anything. I've tried to help, but he just started touching and then kissing me... Cissy, he's been relentless, and I've been so lonely. Couldn't we tell him about Miss Granger's interest?"

"Not him. He's so contrary that he probably seduced you just because I admired the way you and the Minister danced together. If you were truly reticent, it probably just drew him in."

"Oh," said Andromeda. It did make a certain amount of sense, but it stung.

"He's so contrary," Cissy continued as she paced in the room, "that if he knew she was interested, he would shag every woman except Miss Granger. He just needs to be left alone, and her youthful freshness and hero-worship will do the rest." Narcissa calmed down and looked at the face in front of her. It was turning green. "Are you all right, Andie?"

"It was just comfort," she whispered with a lost look in her eyes. "I miss Ted so very much, and Severus has been mourning someone, too. Oh, Cissy, he was so kind, and I miss my husband... but now I've lost Ted even more because of it. You can't possibly punish me more than... I deserve to be punished..." Andromeda slipped from her chair to the floor and buried her face in its cushions, sobbing.

The blond witch was almost at a loss for how to deal with this sort of passionate crying. She had experienced it one other time, when Bella had first escaped from Azkaban. She knelt beside her sister and smoothed her hair, speaking quietly.

"I'm sorry, Andie. With everything going on, Lucius and I will still at least have each other when he's released from Azkaban. You're still young... It would be good for you to have a wizard of your own. I'll keep looking; I'll help you find someone suitable. Just... please not Severus."

"And why not Severus?" The wizard in question was standing in the doorway.

Andromeda looked up in distress as Narcissa looked up with guilty awareness. "How long have you been standing there?"

He walked into the room and lifted Andromeda to her feet. "Since you told her she could have anyone but me." He put his hand under her chin and examined the red mark on the side of her face. "Did you hit her, Narcissa?"

She shrugged and squirmed under his glare. "So help me..." he growled. "If you ever raise your hand to her again..."

He pulled Andromeda close, and she struggled to get away. When he whispered, "Hush, my dove; trust me," she stopped moving. He looked at Narcissa and said, "Let me make myself clear. I don't know what game you're playing at, Narcissa, but it's destroying your sister. If we choose to become intimate, I don't see that it's any business of yours."

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to my sister?" Narcissa was red-faced.

"She wasn't crying before you got here, and this isn't my handprint on her face."

"You don't understand, Sev..."

"No, you don't understand. I've done enough of what everyone else wants. Twenty years it's been since I took the Dark Mark and gave control of my life away. That's all over. Now I will do what I want."

Narcissa looked for anything to raise his ire, to provoke him to let go of Andromeda. "I just got my sister back from the Mudblood, and now you want to ruin her further."

Severus was going to respond, but he felt Andromeda trembling in his arms after that comment. Clearly this was taking a toll on her. "Do you have anything further you'd like to say to your sister?" he asked softly of the witch in his arms. She shook her head. "Well, then, Mrs. Malfoy, I believe it's time for you to go."

As he watched, Narcissa suddenly became a different creature. She wrung her hands and said, with a catch in her voice, "You know that everything is for the sake of my family, Severus."

"Nice try, but it won't work on me the way it did two years ago."

She hissed and all but spat, "It only worked then because it was already part of the old man's scheme."

Andromeda tried to free herself. She wanted to know about this, but Severus ran a hand down her spine in a way that made her go still again.

"I had my reasons, Narcissa. Soothing your motherly worries didn't cost me anything and eased your mind. If I have plans of my own that I wish to pursue now, I don't see that it's anyone's business but my own... and Andromeda's."

What about Miss Granger? Andromeda wanted to ask.

"I'll ask you again, Mrs. Malfoy, to leave this house. You won't get a third chance." Andromeda became aware that his wand was in the hand hovering over the small of her back, and there was tension in that arm that she hadn't noticed before.

"You don't have the authority to send me out of here. Andie!"

Severus let her pull away to face her sister. "You've said everything you wanted to say, Cissy. There's really nothing else, is there?"

Narcissa sighed ungracefully as she walked toward the door. "Don't say I didn't warn you, Andie," she called. Then she was gone.

"What was that all about?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," she replied. "What happened two years ago?"

He tipped her chin up again and whispered a charm to soothe away the damage her sister left. "Andromeda, why doesn't your sister want us together?"

"Are we really together?"

"For the purposes of this conversation, we are."

She turned away. "Cissy believes that you should make a choice from the younger witches that are available." It wasn't a lie.

He could tell that she wasn't telling everything. She seemed so fragile at the moment that he chose not to pursue it. "I've made my choice."

Her heart beat faster but then she remembered. "For now, that is," she said.

"Why don't we see where it takes us?" He pulled her close again and whispered into her ear. "I believe where it was taking us was to the bedroom where I plan to make slow, deliberate love to you this afternoon."

"Did you..." She couldn't ask.

He tipped her head back so that he could look her in the eye. "After all we've become to each other, you can ask me anything."

She turned away. She couldn't ask this question if she looked at him. "Narcissa says you just wanted me to spite her, because she admired how I looked with the Minister at the ball."

"Did my pursuit of you begin that night?"

She turned and looked at him as she realized that her sister was wrong. "Oh, Severus." All thoughts of denying him or herself followed her sister out the door. Her pulse quickened just from the sound of his voice. She knew it would be a long time before she denied him again. At some point during the conversation with her sister, perhaps when she had settled into his arms, she had stepped off the edge and was falling through an abyss. When she landed, she knew she would shatter completely, but for now she would surrender to his kisses and touches.

When the door of the bedroom shut behind her, Andromeda was suddenly unsure of what came next. Last night had simply happened, but today was deliberate. When she and Ted had first...but then, Severus was a completely different sort of wizard... and a very different man as well. He had seduced her slowly over the past months, and he would treasure her if only because of the effort it had cost him.

He saw her worried confusion and remarked upon it. "Don't fret, my dove." He stood near her and bent to whisper into an ear. "Will you join me on the bed? I would like to touch you and learn about you."

She reached behind herself to unfasten her dress, but she was trembling too hard and fumbled. He motioned her over and turned her to unfasten the buttons in a matter-of-fact way that set her at ease. "Don't ever fear me, Andromeda," he said caressingly against her now bare shoulder. "Others need to fear me from time to time. Some need to fear me always, but you need never fear me."

"I don't fear you," she said, and it was true. What she feared most was his absence.

The night before had been a trysting of two grieving hearts. This afternoon, he used the light that came into the room to explore, first with his delicate fingertips and then with his lips. When she sighed that it wasn't fair, he lay quietly as she touched him. No woman had ever traced the hairs on his chest before nor kissed along the lines of his shoulder-blades. No woman had ever made him feel so wanted. She gently pushed him to the point of desperation, and he shifted their positions so that he was kneeling above her.

"I've made my choice. I want to share a bed with you every night. Is that agreeable?"

"Yes," she whispered, helpless to refuse him anything in that moment. She reached up to push his hair back from his face so that she could see his eyes. He closed the space between them and kissed her. Kisses turned into caresses, which led to ever closer contact. Their bodies trembled and strained together until they were both exhausted.

"You're an incredible woman," he whispered into her ear a while later. "You meant it, didn't you? You'll share my bed from now on?"

"I meant it," she said, quietly. She held his head where he had placed it on her shoulder. She didn't want him to see the sadness she knew was in her eyes. As much as possible, she would hide her worry. She would enjoy the time she had with him and wouldn't begrudge the future he would have with a younger woman. She stifled a sigh and slid away from him. She rolled closer to the edge of the bed and sat up.

"Are you tired, my dove?"

"I suppose I am, a little."

"Why don't you sleep, then?"

She glanced at a clock. "I need to see to my grandson. Surely he wants to end his nap and play with his new toys."

"Why don't I join you?"

"You should rest. In a couple of hours, there will be dinner, and then..."

"Afters." The look in his eyes gave no doubt of his meaning.

She smiled at that. "Yes, you have much to rest for."

She was just about dressed at this point and slipped out of the room, leaning weakly against the door after she shut it. I'm in for it now, she thought. Damn it, Ted, why did you have to teach me how to love? I've lost my sister again and for what? Something that can't possibly last? She made her way up to the nursery and cared for the child. She summoned the house-elf and went over the dinner arrangements, taking the opportunity to praise Birdie for having everything just exactly to plan. Finally she was alone with the infant and his bottle, and she let her tears fall.

If she checked, she would have discovered that Severus wasn't resting, after all. He sat down at a writing desk and penned two notes. After rolling them up, he opened the window and called to an owl that nested in a nearby tree. The owl accepted the notes and flew away. Instead of lying down on the bed, Severus watched out the window with a smile on his face. When he could no longer see the owl, he sat near the fireplace and waited for it to return.

Andromeda couldn't help herself; she felt her heart making a space to include him. His hands were too knowledgeable about her body. The quiet whispers of compliments along with her name and endearments did their work too well. Forever after this night, she knew he wouldn't need to do anything other than look at her or perhaps whisper her name to get her blood racing and cause her legs to quiver.

He owned her, and she could see in his eyes that he knew it. Those eyes were full of victory as he claimed her mouth. His kisses were full of assurance as his hands explored. She hated that she didn't care. She hated that he made her gasp out a long, squeaky sigh while he brought bliss to her body.

She couldn't hate the look in his face as he grunted out his own pleasure. She didn't hate the infinite tenderness with which he held her face when he kissed her in grateful affection after the act that made her his alone. She positively loved the way he held her in the afterglow of their passion. He was so surprisingly dear, and he made her feel beautiful, wanted. He had a way of making her feel cherished in those moments when they murmured little comments to each other with no real words.

Just then she thought he might have feelings for her, but she didn't dare believe his feelings extended outside the bedroom or beyond some date when he might begin his future. What did she know? Perhaps he treated every woman this dearly.

She lay in his arms as his breathing became even. She stared at the ceiling of the bedroom her uncle had used and tried to think through the next weeks and months. Miss Granger would take her N.E.W.T.s. in the spring, and she would be received into some professional program at that time. Surely Severus wouldn't wait much longer to treat the girl as a woman; he would pursue her so that he could start his permanent life.

There would be several months of this, then. It would have to be enough to make a lifetime's worth of memories. She told herself that it was good that she had this time. She'd never had a time like this to prepare for Ted's eventual loss. She would have to make the best of this precious chance. Narcissa's efforts to the contrary, there was no reason to believe that there could possibly be a third man whom she could love as she had loved Ted and now Severus.

She couldn't sleep like this. Her thoughts chased her around the room. She slowly and carefully slid out of the bed, softly kissing and murmuring to him when he reached for her. She made her way to the bed she had shared with the man she had married and cried herself to sleep.

A/N: Thank you so very much to those of you who have stayed with the story and especially to those of you who have commented upon it. A very special thanks goes to Trickie Woo. Parts of this chapter have been in at least half a dozen different iterations of this story, and she's read every one of them, helping me to decide which was finally the right version.

Finally, I don't think we thank the staff enough. You are tireless and underpaid, and we couldn't do this without you.