The Trunk

Chapter 5

Sunday, continued: The Trunk

I was driving back to the hotel for lunch when my cell phone rang. Remus was on the other end, his voice thick with the gravelly texture of the newly awakened.

"Good morning," he said. "Or is it good afternoon?"

"It's on the verge of 'good afternoon'. How are you, love?"

"Better, thanks to you. How's Billy?"

"Doing well. In fact, I'm almost to the hotel; I thought I'd come back and see how you were doing, then we can make plans from there. And guess what? I was just having coffee with Roger, and he mentioned that there's a trunk in Billy's attic which belonged to Marvy. I was thinking that just maybe her wand is in it."

There was a brief silence. "Didn't you tell me a long time ago that her wand hadn't been seen for years?"

"Well, yes," I admitted. "But maybe the reason is that it's locked away in that trunk."

"Don't get too excited, Kailin. For all you know, the trunk could be full of recipes or dress patterns or something."

"Maybe." So much for passing along good news, I thought. I had forgotten that Remus Lupin was a master at not getting one's hopes up. His history was one of assuming the worst as a means of self-preservation.

I thought about Marvy the rest of the way to the hotel. For the past year, I'd entertained the notion that my deceased grandmother had been looking out for me. After all, it was her monetary bequest which led to my trip to Britain, which led to my hiking holiday in the Yorkshire Dales, which led me to bump into Remus Lupin in King's Cross Station. Surely it wasn't unreasonable to believe that Marvy was watching out for me now, was it? Could her trunk hold the solution to our current dilemma?

Finding the wand would solve a mountain of problems. I could buy a plane ticket for Remus under an alias, then he could use the wand to alter his already transfigured passport and identification to the new name. The only other option, and a rather expensive one at that, was for me to fly back to Britain, ask someone from the Order of the Phoenix to buy him a new wand, then bring it back myself. It was a solution, but not the one I wanted.

By the time I got back to the hotel, Remus had showered and shaved and looked like a new man.

"It's a good thing," I told him as he slid his arms around me and pulled me close in greeting. "If Billy saw you looking like you did this morning, he'd think I had married a zombie."

"I doubt it," Remus murmured in my ear. "Zombies look much worse."

Was he teasing? I didn't ask. Very little surprises me anymore about the wizarding world, but there are some things I just don't want to know.

Hermione seemed in good humor. She had spent the morning at the pool, she said, and had the pink of a near sunburn to prove it. I reminded myself to pick up some sunscreen today at the earliest opportunity.

We ate at the hotel restaurant, and I filled in Hermione about my conversation with Billy and Roger. Remus sat listening, still in his skeptic mode. When I finally paused for air, he spoke up.

"How are we going to get into Billy's house, Kailin? Do you have a key? Without a wand, I can't unlock the door, you know."

My heart dropped. In all my excitement over the trunk, I didn't have the good sense to ask Roger for a house key.

"I suppose we could stop back by the hospital on the way," I said, thoroughly annoyed with myself and with Remus for pointing out a flaw in my plan. I didn't want to make this extra stop. I wanted to go directly to Billy's house, find the trunk and, along with it, the wand. The answer to our problems was tantalizingly close.

Hermione sighed aloud. "Oh, I wish I had brought my wand with me. I can't believe I left it behind."

"You had no idea you'd need it," Remus reminded her.

I nodded agreement. Once the decision had been made to come to the States, Friday night's preparations were rather frantic. My mind had been on Billy, of course. Hermione had problems of her own.

"I don't really have a lot of suitable summer wear," she had said, her brow furrowed with worry.

"This should do," he told her. "You won't need robes and the like. You'd still be considered an underage witch in the States. I believe you come of age at eighteen there, not seventeen."

And so, Hermione had left behind robes, wand, and ninety-five percent of her belongings at the London flat.

"Are you planning to go this afternoon and search for Marvy's trunk?" Remus' voice tugged me back to the present.

"Sure, why not?" I enthused. "I'll call Roger. He'll still be at the hospital. I can get his key." I pulled out my cell phone at once and dialed Roger's number.

Roger, too, seemed a little doubtful. "I didn't realize that you were that interested in looking for Mom's trunk that you wanted to go right away," he said, clearly wondering why I was so desperate to dig into an old trunk. "Sure, come on by and pick up the key. And don't forget to turn up the AC as soon as you get in the house. It'll be blistering hot in there."

Remus, Hermione and I finished our lunch and drove to the hospital. I double parked and left them in the car while I ran inside to find Roger and get his house key. He gave me a parting reminder about turning up the air conditioning, and then we were off.

My heart lurched as I turned the Jeep onto the quiet, tree-lined street where Billy lived, where I'd spent so many happy summers with my grandparents. There were so many good memories, so many happy memories, and I hoped that some day, when Remus and I had children, they would have similar reminders of a happy childhood.

But as we progressed down the block, my elation faded a little. The houses were older in this part of town, and there was just the faintest hint of shabbiness now. Roger had mentioned repairs Billy needed to make, and from the looks of it, many of his neighbors were in the same boat. Well, I told myself, that wasn't so surprising: older people on fixed incomes couldn't afford costly home repairs. These houses weren't slums, they were just - lovingly worn, I decided. Still, when I'd parked the car and we mounted the steps to the front door, I was acutely aware that all of my beloved memories had taken place twenty years ago.

My grandparents' house was eerily quiet with the heaviness that's present when the occupants aren't home. It was also hot and stuffy, and I headed immediately for the thermostat in the hall while Remus and Hermione looked about the living room.

"That'll cool it off down here," I said, joining them. "But it'll be hotter still in the attic."

"Let's give the place a few minutes to cool down," Remus said, picking up a dusty, framed picture from its spot on a bookcase shelf. "Is this Billy and Marvy? The only picture I've seen of her is the one from the Hogwarts yearbook you showed me at the Weasleys'."

I crossed to his side and glanced at the picture. "Yes," I said, smiling fondly. "You know, I should probably see about taking a few pictures back with me."

"Now?" Remus looked mildly alarmed.

"No," I laughed. "Before we go back to Britain, I mean. I'll ask Billy which ones I can take." As he placed the picture back on the shelf, I noticed several photograph albums among the stacks of books and pulled one out to look at it. "Oh, look, here's a picture of Roger and my mom..."

While the house cooled off, the three of us settled on the sofa to leaf through the album. But my eagerness to find the trunk finally overcame my desire to reminisce, and after fifteen minutes or so, I climbed to my feet, tugged Remus by the hand, and suggested that we get on with the task at hand.

The word 'hot' didn't adequately describe the attic. There was no air conditioning up there, of course, and the vaulted space felt like an oven. I found a light switch, but the feeble glare of one naked bulb hardly touched the dark recesses of the room. Worse still, the attic was positively crammed with stuff.

The three of us looked at each other, obviously thinking the same thing: how in the world were we going to find Marvy's trunk before we keeled over from the heat?

"Well," I ventured, "where do you suppose we should start?"

Remus was dismayed. "I don't know, Kailin. This is almost as bad as the attic at number twelve."

At least this house didn't have the portrait of a screaming maniac on the wall... Aloud, I said, "Roger said it was a trunk. Most of this stuff is boxes, so all we have to do is look for a trunk."

"True."

We moved pile upon pile of boxes and crates and bags. There was fifty years of accumulated debris crammed up here, and we were each sweating heavily after only a few minutes. I wished that I had unlimited time to investigate everything in the attic: there were probably tons of fascinating things to be found, but not with Remus and Hermione along, and not in these temperatures. Reluctantly, I forced myself to focus on the one thing we were after. Finally, it was Hermione who stumbled onto the old-fashioned trunk buried in a corner of the room.

"It's heavy," I said, excitement rising within me. Without thinking, I said, "Remus, can you -?"

Remus started to whip out his wand, then remembered at once. He grimaced, then wiped the sweat off his forehead with one forearm. "You take one end, I'll take the other?"

"Of course. Sorry," I muttered. "I didn't think."

It was devilishly hard to carry the trunk slowly and carefully down the attic steps when all we wanted was to race back into the air conditioning as quickly as possible. Finally, we got it down to the second floor and stopped there.

"Do you want to take it all the way downstairs?" he panted, clearly hoping that I had no such thing in mind.

"No. This is fine." I hadn't intended to dump it in the middle of the second floor hallway, but I wasn't about to suggest moving the trunk one more step.

We gathered around the trunk as though it were a religious relic, then looked at each other.

"Go ahead, Kailin," Remus urged. "It was your grandmother's. You open it."

I reached for the latches and pulled.

Nothing happened.

I tried again, then finally peered at the latches to see if they were caught on something or possibly rusted shut. They almost, I thought, looked decorative instead of functional. Was the trunk locked in a different way? Over my mounting frustration, I heard Hermione sigh behind me.

"I was afraid of this," she said. "I think it's magically sealed, Kailin."

"Magically sealed?" I echoed, as Remus nudged me aside to have a look at the latches.

"It's the same thing I do to the door of the spare bedroom when I shut myself in for the full moon," he explained, poking the latches and finding them immovable. "Hermione's right, Kailin. Without a wand, there's no way to open it."

"But..." I stammered, "how could Marvy seal it shut if her wand's inside?" This wasn't how it was supposed to go. Right now, the trunk should be open, the wand on top, and our problems would be over.

"This means that her wand's not in there," Remus said, trying to burst my bubble as gently as possible.

I was too disappointed to speak. I'd been so sure....

"I'm thirsty," Hermione said suddenly. "Would it be all right if I got a glass of water in the kitchen?"

"Of course," I said briskly, getting to my feet. "Tell you what: let's leave the trunk here, go downstairs, and get something to drink. I'm thirsty, too."

I led the way, grateful that Remus was being much too nice to say 'I told you so.' I would have put good money on the odds of Marvy's wand being there, and now I was angry with myself for having been so hopelessly optimistic.

"You know," Remus offered as we clattered down the stairway, "there could easily be another trunk up in the attic. It's simply too hot to spend much time up there, Kailin."

I nodded, suddenly anxious to be by myself. "I know. Look, why don't you two sit down in the living room, and I'll get the drinks. Does anybody want soft drinks if there are any in the fridge, or just water?"

"Water," Remus and Hermione chorused together, and as they headed for the living room, I turned toward the kitchen. I didn't want anyone trying to make me feel better; right now I wanted to spend a few minutes being just plain mad at myself.

I knew where Billy's drinking glasses were without even having to think about it. I took three out of the cabinet and turned on the faucet, filling them while inwardly I beseeched my dead grandmother for help. Where is it, Marvy? Where's your wand? We really, really need it...

My solitude was short-lived: the door swung open and Remus walked in.

"Need a hand?" he inquired solicitously.

"Sure," I lied, opening the freezer door and pulling out an ice cube tray. I handed it to Remus, and as he twisted it to free up some cubes, I was deep in thought. So Marvy's wand wasn't in the trunk. It had to be somewhere in the house, and I decided that I wasn't going to go down without a fight. "Is there," I asked, "a way to detect a magical object like a wand?"

"What?" Remus looked up, puzzled.

I hesitated, trying to be sure of what I was asking. "Can you - I don't know - sense it, somehow?"

He understood finally, and shook his head. "If we were talking about some sort of powerful magical object, it might be remotely possible. But a wand in itself has no magic to speak of; it's just a conduit for the wizard to focus his powers."

"Oh." Foiled at every turn.

"Kailin..." Remus stopped putting ice cubes in the glasses, wiped off one hand on his pants leg, and reached out to caress my cheek. "We've barely been here twenty-four hours..."

"But if there's a chance..." I persisted stubbornly.

He sighed. "You always want to fix things, darling: for me, for Billy, for Hermione. Some things can't be fixed, at least not the way you want it to happen."

I caught my breath, startled. Of all the nerve! Was that what he thought?

Remus must have seen the flash of shock in my eyes, for he immediately picked up two of the glasses and headed for the living room, leaving me to stew. Well, he was wrong, I thought viciously. Of course I couldn't fix things for Billy; I just wanted to be here with him. And of course I couldn't fix Hermione's problems; I could only empathize. And fix Remus' problems? What a ridiculous thought! I was a Muggle, and could only approach things from a Muggle viewpoint; the wizarding world would have to fix itself, regardless.

I took a hefty swig of water from the remaining glass, nursing my righteous anger. Fine, I thought; if he didn't want the help, so be it. So what if we wasted money on an extra airfare so I could fly back to England and fetch a wand for him? So what if the additional time for that little jaunt meant I would lose a few more days' pay? Easy for him to say; after all, he wasn't the primary breadwinner in the family.

I moved to the kitchen window and stared out at the back yard, furious with my husband and with life in general.

As a child, I had spent a lot of time in Marvy and Billy's back yard. There was the large oak tree where I'd sat in the shade with Marvy and listened to her stories about growing up in Britain. I'd played with my dolls out there while Marvy puttered around in the garden which was her pride and joy. The flower beds were always a riot of color as the lovingly tended blooms flourished under her green thumb.

My anger changed to shock as the reality of what I was seeing sank in.

The beautiful garden was no more. There were still flowers, but what was left was severely overgrown and choked by weeds. If the house had felt neglected, the garden appeared positively derelict. I put the glass on the counter, unlocked the back door, and ran down the five steps to the yard.

Before I knew what I was doing, I had dropped to my knees and had begun pulling weeds out by the handful. In seconds, my eyes had blurred, and moments later, tears were streaming down my cheeks as I blindly tore away at the overgrowth.

Suddenly, strong hands grasped me by the shoulders and pulled me backwards. I found myself in Remus' arms, sobbing into his shoulder as if my heart would break.

"Kailin," he murmured, "it's all right, dearest."

"No, it's not," I cried. "This was her garden. She loved her garden. It was beautiful, and look at it now! It's not fair!"

"No, darling. It's not fair."

"I miss her so much, Remus!"

"I know."

"I know I want to fix things!" I wailed. "But I can't do magic like you. It's the only thing I can do!"

"Sssh..." He held me, stroking my hair and rocking me gently until I cried myself out.

"Marvy would have loved you, you know," I said finally, miserably.

"I'm sure I would have loved her, too," Remus assured me.

"I just knew the wand would be here," I blurted.

"I know, darling."

As long as I was emptying my heart, I thought, I might as well drag up the other issue which had dogged me for months. "And I want to have a baby, and I can't because of stupid Voldemort!" I blubbered.

Even as I said it I realized how ridiculous it sounded, and a burble of laughter escaped from my throat. Remus, I realized, was chuckling as well.

"Now that," I said, drawing in a long, shaky breath, "has to be one of the dumbest things I've ever said."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Remus teased, "although it's fairly high on the list."

I heard footsteps in the grass behind us and looked up to see Hermione coming toward us, a glass of water in her hand.

"Here, Kailin," she ventured timidly. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. Remus thanked Hermione, took the glass from her, and gave it to me.

The water felt deliciously cool against my throat. I gulped down most of it, then handed the glass back.

"Thank you," I said, beginning to feel more than a little foolish. "I think I'm okay now."

"Why don't we go back inside where it's more comfortable?" Remus suggested.

I nodded, allowing him to help me upright. "I suppose I should get back to the hospital soon and see how Billy's doing."

"There's no rush. Roger would have called you if there was a problem."

I was in no mood to argue.

We settled down on the sofa again and Remus picked up the photograph album once more. He soon had me smiling over the family pictures, although inwardly I felt as drained as though I'd emptied out my very soul. After a short time, he went back upstairs to check the trunk one more time. I appreciated the effort, although I knew that the results would be no different this time than last.

And when he reappeared, shaking his head regretfully, I didn't feel the searing disappointment as I had before.