First Shot Over the Bow
Chapter 1 of 8
pokeystarMuch ado about tiny bits of confectionery.
What do a wooden puppet, a talking water cooler, a Greek god, archival folders, coffee, and magically altered choccies have to do with falling in love? Possibly everything...
Officially nominated at dramione_awards, round 3.
Part one: First Shot Over the Bow
Draco was passing Granger’s desk on his way to the archives when he spotted a tiny flash of silver marring its pristine surface. Without a thought to consequences, his hand snaked out and grasped the shiny, oddly shaped object by the tip, taking care to avoid damaging the fragile looking tissue paper banner peeking out from the wrapper. Did Granger label her chocolate? No, the tiny blue writing said HERSHEY'S, not HERMIONE. A moment later, it was safe in his pocket.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
How could something so tiny be so… so… full of joy? So deeply satisfying? So fantastically delectable? It occurred to Draco suddenly that Dumbledore’s fascination with Muggle sweets had not been the deplorable eccentricity of an old fool, but rather the passionate hobby of the most brilliant wizard in history.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The librarian of the Ministry archives eyed him askance upon his third fact-checking trip that morning. After his fifth visit, Draco discovered a slip of parchment with Creevey’s Floo address on it, tucked in the file on toaster oven mishaps. No more excursions to the archives today for you, Malfoy. He shuddered at the thought of dating Potter’s former most ardent groupie and current Ministry librarian. As if. Aside from being straight, he did have standards.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It was a bit of a gratuitous detour, but Granger’s desk was now technically on the way to the break room. He hoped the frequent coffee runs didn’t lead the water cooler to believe he wanted a snog. It did try to engage him in conversation occasionally. And he was a Malfoy; irresistibility was an inherited trait.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
This escapade was verging on the ridiculous. He had ingested so much coffee that he sloshed when he walked. Was that luscious morsel a one-time fluke? The broad, unspoiled surface of the She-devil’s efficient domain mocked the thin thread of hope still beating in his chest. Draco considered the possibility that Granger was torturing him on purpose.
Well, two could play that game.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Hershey's kisses are an American treat, click here for the info.
Originally posted to the Live Journal dramionedrabbles community for the 2008 St. Valentine's Day 7 Kisses Challenge.
Day 1 prompt: stolen kiss.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Chocolate War
29 Reviews | 4.72/10 Average
After I received your review I was like, okay I have seen her pen name all over the place, I must have read something she wrote (other than the ldws drabbles)! And sure enough here you are. This is absolutely wonderful and so funny. I can't believe you didn't win the Dramione. I also can't believe I never reviewed!Your story was very clever, I really liked your take on the kisses challenge. I laughed out loud several times while reading, and I absolutely loved Frank, Blaise, and Colin.
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
"okay I have seen her pen name all over the place"Muahhahaha. The plan for world domination is coming along nicely...Did I say that out loud?"I can't believe you didn't win the Dramione." Oh, aren't you sweet? Do you like dungeons? My iron maiden is lined with fake fur. Did you read The Politician's Wife? It's an amazinigly good story. I was honored to come in second to her.Shameless self-promotion: I'm currently nominated at the tnl_awards at live journal. *whistles innocently* If you're looking for something new and underappreciated to read...Thank you soooo much!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
"okay I have seen her pen name all over the place"Muahhahaha. The plan for world domination is coming along nicely...Did I say that out loud?"I can't believe you didn't win the Dramione." Oh, aren't you sweet? Do you like dungeons? My iron maiden is lined with fake fur. Did you read The Politician's Wife? It's an amazinigly good story. I was honored to come in second to her.Shameless self-promotion: I'm currently nominated at the tnl_awards at live journal. *whistles innocently* If you're looking for something new and underappreciated to read...Thank you soooo much!
Squee! This is made of win. *huggles*erm. and you may have 2 copies of this review.. oops!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
Yay! more huggles for me!(thank you!)
squee! This is made of win. *huggles*
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
Thank you!I think you're made of win, too.
Adverb Man , is he the latest Superhero? Valiantly, intrepidly, magnificently, he trawls the Corridors of Grammar, seeking to eliminate Comma Crime from the Universe...
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
Do crimes of omission count?If so, Adverb Man will throw the book at me first!
brings a whole new meaning to the term "French kisses", doesn't it
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
Exactly the intent!!
you're killing me here, this is way too funny!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
Should I call an ambulance?
LOL a water cooler that chats people up, now that I have to see !
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
I would love to see it too.*sigh*Frank, where art thou?
you're mad, nuts, crazy,.. but bloody brilliant!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
The voices and I thank you.*blushes*
Ginny is in cahoots with the Forge! Hermione and Draco are doomed! More More MORE!!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
Doomed! Doomed, I say!Don't worry, there's plenty of doom to go around...Doom and mayhem. Plenty of doom of mayhem for everyone.
I am going to pull something if I don't stop laughing so hard. Stop being so damn funny 
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
I'll try... I don't know if it's possible, but I'll try.
Screw the lads, he was off to jump a shark I very much enjoyed the double meaning of this line. Hey now I understand that icon of yours. Its Frank!!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
C'est vrai!It is Franck!*glomps*That's one of my favorite lines!
This fic is hysterical! I got the Legally Blond line right away. Gay!Colin is a hoot! I hope this leads to nakedville!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
points to PG-13 rating. no nakeyville in the fic proper.An outtake however, can be arranged...
Response from MollysSister (Reviewer)
Name your bribe for the outtake sister
"leaving pointy impressions in his stiffly gelled coiffure" I thought this was my favorite line of the chapter till Frank. Now my favorite line is “Otherwise, I’d have to report this as fraternization.”
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
Awesome.No wonder we are the smut twins.
Hermione only had on kiss on her desk? Obviously it was a trap. A sane and rational person would have her whole candy dish full of them. ((danger danger Draco))
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
REally. He should have been suspicious immediately.Maybe he thought it being Muggle chocolate made a difference.Foolish man. He deserves what he gets.
she's gonna figure it out soon.. she fancies him, she really does!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
shhhhh!We know that, she doesn't... yet.
Anonymous
Resorting to more and more devious plots, eh? ;-)
Author's Response: Why yes. Is that a problem?
I'll never trust a Kiss again... and I loved the trademarked, ' His father’s expression of disappointment™' Just full of great lines.... Piper
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
Thank you.But it's a sad day when a woman can't trust chocolate.
Hahahahaha! What a great story! I hope you update soon. I can't wait to find out who the saboteur was.
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
I hope you know by now?I'm glad you like it, CF!
Response from CharmedForce (Reviewer)
Haha... I thought of this story just today as I had an almond Kiss.
I haven't laughed this hard at a story in a while. Thank you!!! I needed that. =)
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
You are most welcome, and I'm glad it made you laugh!*skips off with big grin*
Anonymous
*sigh* I have nothing more to say really. *sigh* So, so funny in all sorts of different places! I love the whole 'Pinching Pansy' thang! I really, really hope you win one of the awards you've been nominated for this round! Fingers crossed!
Author's Response: Sighs are music to my ears.
It's thrilling to be nominated, thanks for the crossed fingers!
ROFLMAO! "Franck is the french version of Frank!" LOL Reading it in French was great but then reading your translation of it was hilarious! Masterful!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
*cursteys*Made me giggle too. I was expecting Francois, I think.
Anonymous
Lurve this!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you do!
And thanks for picking up that last comma - I think my head was spinning from the back and forth. (darn A/Ns)
Anonymous
Hehehe. Like a mountain-goat! Definitely the funniest line there. Great little fluffy romp that you've got going on here!
Author's Response: I find it funny that Draco would know what a mountain-goat is.
Thank you - exactly what I was going for.
Angel Mischa's response: I'm currently holding out going to read this elsewhere because I like the suspense, and it means I have something fun to look forward to seeing in the queue! Am very excited for you in the dramione awards, btw! 
Author's Response: I admire your willpower. I've been known to hunt things down just so I could end the suspense.
And my husband has caught me reading the last chapter of books first too. (Though I amazingly did not do this with DH).
I'm excited too, and stunned!
I'll have to shove another chapter in the queue, then, won't I?
Anonymous
Draco resolved to ignore the fickle little slag and concentrated on his work.
Haha! Best line ever. Looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thanks!
There's more to come!
the Malfoy family jewels (the only ones the Ministry had been unable to claim in reparation)
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Brilliant!
Response from pokeystar (Author of The Chocolate War)
I love it when people quote my favorite bits to me. Especially as it has to do with <i>those</i> favorite bits.- Thanks!ps: I've been keeping an eye of Magical Creatures - I intend to start it as soon as I get a break from writing.