VIII

This is based on the Surrogate Mother Challenge on WIKTT. For full description of this challenge, please see the author's notes at the end of the first chapter.

Disclaimer: I looked in the mirror this morning and was stunned to discover that I am not JK Rowling. Shocking, I know.

Special thanks to my beta Southern_Witch_69, and to my wonderful muse, Meredith!

Severus had seen her walk out of the hospital wing with one of the seventh year Hufflepuffs. She looked surprisingly happy for a change. He thanked God briefly for this small miracle. Severus' visit with Poppy had been short. She informed him that all was well with his child, and Hermione had been quite excited about hearing the heartbeat. Reassured, he walked back to his living quarters.

Seeing an empty living room, he went to go knock on Hermione's door. His hand stilled just before it made contact with the wood. He could barely hear odd mumblings, sobs, and words that were barely discernable were intermittently placed. He heard little phrases sounding suspiciously like "not mine" and "never see".

Stepping away from the door swiftly, Severus moved to his desk. Pulling out parchment and quill, he jotted a brief letter. Closing it with the school seal, he arose again and left for the Owlery. All the while telling himself, It is one thing to live with a pregnant witch, but it is quite another to have to live with one who would never see the child and seemed to be already regretting it. This was not territory he wished to be in.

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Hermione had spent the remainder of that day in her room. The next morning she'd attempted to pull herself out of the depression that she had somehow found herself in. Her initial reaction had been to busy herself so that she could not dwell on the inevitable, which was the loss that she had realized she would be facing. Just like when my parents died, she'd mused often.

She'd ended up placing herself in the one area where she was always the most comfortable...the library. Unfortunately, this had inevitably led her right back to various books on pregnancy. She'd switched her focus, however, from the hormones and had begun to view some of the many photographs of the fetuses during various stages of development. Although she'd marveled at them, she'd soon realized that it was nothing more than a bit of Spellotape on a wound that was deepening with each word that she read and each picture that she viewed.

Snape had begun to avoid her more than usual. Hermione had actually awoken the past few mornings wishing that she were horribly nauseous so that he would come looking for her. However, that was not to be. As with the current day, she consumed her cream crackers and peppermint tea and arose without difficulty.

She was sitting on the chesterfield after breakfast; it had been nearly two weeks since the visit with Madame Pomfrey. Hermione had just selected a book to read from Severus' large library and began searching the well-worn pages for her favorite passages. She was jolted from the wonderful world of Middle Earth with a knock on the door.

"Ginny! What are you doing here?" Hermione exclaimed when she opened the door to her fiery red-headed friend.

"Well, I've come to take you shopping, my dear," replied Ginny with a smile.

"What?" asked Hermione while gesturing the younger witch into the room and to have a seat with her.

Ginny giggled as she sat on the sofa. "Well, from what I hear, you've been moping about in a foul mood for a few weeks now. Neville wrote to tell me about a rumored screaming match between you and Snape regarding his lack of bathing or something. He didn't go into much detail. He just said that you disrupted an entire Potions class for this row."

Hermione smiled. She had only told Neville that the argument had involved shower water when he had confronted her because of the insatiable gossip that had been floating about as a result of her fury. Talking to Neville had been Hermione's futile attempt at diffusing the now rumored torrid affair and lovers' quarrel between her and Professor Snape down to a mere spat between roommates.

"That was a several weeks ago, Gin," Hermione said.

"Yes, I know. I got another letter a nearly two weeks ago asking me to come up on the weekend and take you out for the day. I would've come up last weekend, but I couldn't get away."

When Hermione neglected to ask who sent the owl, Ginny continued. "The letter said that you've seemed rather down lately and that a shopping excursion may cheer you up."

Now that piqued her curiosity. Who would write to Ginny and suggest that she take me shopping to cheer me up?

Ginny smiled while watching her friend's attempt to decipher the mystery that plagued her for days. Finally she answered with a furtive smirk, "I think that it was Neville that sent the note, Mione. It seemed that he figured that it wouldn't hurt for me to come spend some time with you. I am surprised that he can manage to teach! The berk even forgot to sign that last letter."

Hermione rolled her eyes, admitting to herself that her friend was probably right. Neville was awfully sweet, but the poor bloke was hopeless when it came to anything other than Herbology. She knew that he had previously had a crush on her when they were students and with the time that she had been spending with him since the beginning of the school year, she wondered if it was possible he was having these feelings towards her again.

Deciding that this was not a topic she wanted to dwell on, Hermione asked, "Where are we going shopping, Gin?"

Ginny stifled a devious grin at Hermione's obvious desire to ignore Neville's obvious interest in her and responded, "Diagon Alley...are you ready to go?"

"Oh, yes, please! Anything to get me out of here," said Hermione with a smile.

As it was nearing the ides of November, the Christmas season was fast approaching. Hermione had always prided herself on being very organized and having her shopping done with no later than October. This year was the exception to that rule. With the money issues and then the pregnancy, Hermione had little time to prepare for the holidays.

Hermione found Snape sitting in his office, marking papers. He waved her off without a second glance, only requesting that the two women return to the castle by supper.

"Wow, that was easy," mused Hermione aloud as she and Ginny set out.

Ginny had secured them a Portkey to use for traveling during the day, and after feeling that familiar tug behind their navel signaling their transfer of locations, they set about exploring the shops of Diagon Alley.

Shopping was never one of Hermione's favorite tasks, but she was so relieved to be out of the castle for the first time since she had arrived in September. Ginny and Hermione passed the time with idle chatter as they browsed. Ginny was telling Hermione about her latest report at the Ministry. It was the most recent reports on the rise of Squib births among pureblood families. Such information was of no news to Hermione; according to many renowned Healers, the rise in Squibs was due to pureblood witches becoming lazier and relying on house-elves to perform magic for them. However, since the Ministry was obviously ignoring this bit of information, Hermione silently wondered if they weren't attempting to spin this information to their benefit. It would be fruitless, of course, for Ginny to attempt to influence the Ministry of Magic to see the truth.

Ginny then went on to tell about Ron's latest girlfriend a recent graduate of Beauxbatons and some cousin of the Delacours. Ginny's main complaint was that this young blonde was practically living at Grimmauld Place and talked non-stop about the most useless and annoying things.

"It's always about the latest rubbish on beauty charms, the newest hair care potions, or other such nonsense," said Ginny with an obvious air of disgust.

"So, are you seeing anyone?" asked Hermione with a curious glint in her eyes.

Ginny laughed. "You're joking, right?" she asked in response. "You know me; I'm too busy to date."

"Ginny," Hermione paused and pulled her friend's attention away from the window in which the two had been browsing, needing to look directly at her. "Ginevra, Harry's not coming back. You need to let him go."

Ginny's hazel eyes began to shine from the tears now welling up in them. "I know," she replied simply. Appearing to gain resolve, she went on. "It's just so hard to think of him as truly being gone. His lifeless body is just laying there, four floors below my office, Mione. His soul is waiting in that ruddy Pensieve in the room next door, trapped there for eternity with that horrible monster."

"I know, Gin, I know," came Hermione's comforting words. It hurt Hermione, too. Harry had been like a brother to her, her best friend since she had been eleven years old. Losing him had been devastating; it had been the first in the long line of losses, which seemed to plague Hermione from that moment on in her life. First there was Harry and Dumbledore, then she had lost Ron to one of the Patil twins, then McGonagall had been carted off to a locked ward at St. Mungo's, and then her parents had died, followed by the loss of all of her career prospects. Hermione had lost everything.

As if sensing Hermione's mental review, Ginny spoke again. "I know you've had losses too, Mione. Things will get better. They already have started to, haven't they?"

Hermione shrugged her shoulders in response as the pair began walking again amongst the various Wizarding shops. In a vain attempt to bring the conversation back to her friend's obsolete love-life, Hermione asked, "What about Neville?" Seeing the stunned look on the redhead, she continued, "He could be good for you. He can be very thoughtful, you know?"

"Umm, no thanks," Ginny replied with a laugh. "He's a sweet guy and all, but come on! He didn't even remember to sign his last letter."

"Too right," said Hermione with a grin and wink.

"So, how are things with you and Snape?" the younger witch asked with a sheepish grin on her face.

"I'm sorry?" asked Hermione taken by surprise at her friend's sudden change in conversation.

"I asked how things were going between you and the mysteriously sexy Potions master." The grin on the young witch's face now reached her eyes.

"Did I hear you right? Mysteriously sexy? Are we talking about the same greasy, arrogant bastard?"

The younger witch laughed. "Well, you must admit it, Hermione. That voice can flow like fine Chinese silk."

Hermione couldn't hold back the inevitable eye roll, although her face did relax into a small grin and a chuckle.

The girls found themselves in Flourish & Blotts where Hermione began thumbing through her favorite childhood tomes. After much inner debate, Hermione finally settled on purchasing a copy of Cinderella for the child. This act did not go unnoticed by Ginny.

"Blimey! Who is that book for?" she asked cautiously.

"Well, it was my favorite story when I was a girl. My mum used to read it to me every night before bed," answered Hermione evasively.

Ginny grabbed her best friend's arm and led her to an out of the way bench. "Hermione," started the younger witch before hesitating. She rested her hand upon Hermione's knee and took a deep breath before asking tentatively, "How are you feeling about...about the baby?"

Hermione couldn't meet her gaze. "I don't know what you mean, Gin," she replied as casually as possible.

"Oh, don't give me that rubbish, Mione," she snapped. "I know you! You bought that book for the baby."

Hermione began biting her lower lip and closed her eyes, unwilling to face her friend's accusations.

"Are you doing okay with all of this?"

Hermione's face was sullen, but for the first time she felt like she could almost talk about it all...almost. "I'm doing all right. It is just suddenly becoming real to me," she said while bringing her hand to rest on the slight bulge of her abdomen. "I know what I have to do, and the thought of it is becoming harder with each day."

"It's not your baby, Hermione," came Ginny's voice. Hermione mused that Ginny's voice was in the same clinical tone that her own had been a couple of months prior. "The baby is not yours. It belongs to Professor Snape and some unknown donor witch. She's probably some fancy pureblood that wouldn't soil the Snape line. You are just a carrier. The baby isn't yours."

Hermione wanted to do nothing but scream and tell Ginny how wrong she was. Every time that Ginny stated that the baby wasn't hers broke her heart. She wanted to tell Ginny the truth. Her mind screamed in her defense. It is mine! That's why this is becoming so bloody hard. I haven't even felt her move, and I want nothing more than to hold her and care for her.

Hermione said nothing, only allowing the tears to form and silently stream down her face. Ginny brought a comforting arm around Hermione's shoulder and pulled her into a tight embrace. They sat in silence for several minutes. "It will be all right, Hermione," she muttered into her friend's long, brown hair.

Hermione had wept before. The tears flowed when she heard the baby's heartbeat. She had cried when she had been unable to button her Muggle jeans just two days ago. She'd even cried when the kitchens were out of her favorite types of chocolate. Normally, Hermione kept her emotions wrangled in by a tight leash. The pregnancy had made her emotions flow from her like a sieve. Now, she felt that she could no longer cope with any of them. Ginny was giving her the comfort that she had yearned for.

One thought kept creeping to the surface. How am I going to face the day when I have to relinquish this baby in less than 26 weeks?

After her tears were spent, Ginny released her from the firm grip that she must have learned from her mother. Hermione looked at the young woman and pleaded with her. "Please, don't tell anyone about the book."

Ginevra brought her arm from around Hermione's shoulders, reached forward, and squeezed her hand. "I won't, Mione. Just promise me," she said meeting her gaze and looking directly into her brown eyes, "that you will try not to become too attached."

Hermione nodded, but both women knew that it was already too late for that.

Southern's Notes: What a sad little chapter! I think that I would become attached as well. It's a very hard situation that she's in here. Dang! I hoped that Ginny would know it was Snape that sent the letter. Ah, well.

A/N: Okay, next up is Christmas...it should be a little happier...should be! And no, the way Ginny was describing the anonymous letter was not the way the letter was written, she changed the wording. Who said that Ginny didn't know who sent the letter? ;-)