Fourteen

Disclaimer: All characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. I intend no infringement and am making no profit.

***

As it happened, Tonks strode into the room next, followed very closely by Remus. He took one look at Ginny and I flapping our arms and singing...and at Mr. Weasley's bemused smile as he swayed to the music in a way that could never, by any stretch of the imagination, have been termed dancing...and he promptly burst out laughing.

"Having fun?" he teased us all. I watched with awe the way his gaze slid over Tonks' smiling face as she accepted the lyrics from Ginny and read through them. It could not have been more evident to even the most unobservant parties that they were tremendously, deeply in love.

"I know this one!" Tonks cried suddenly, skimming over the book. "I think my dad has this album. Where'd you guys get it?"

"It's mine," I explained as I stopped dancing, clutching a hand to my ribcage. I was positively breathless with a combination of laughter and exhilaration I hadn't felt in months. "Mr. Weasley fixed up the CD player, so I offered to give him a sample of how it works."

Mrs. Weasley came bustling back into the kitchen and took one look at us in our state of idleness, gathered around the pulsing CD player while visibly accomplishing nothing. "Girls!" she admonished, gesturing wildly at the half-completed meal. "Get to work!"

"What can I do, Molly?" Tonks asked cheerfully, tossing her light summer jacket over the back of the nearest chair. I, too, had abandoned all modesty hours before and stripped down to just my denim capris and red tank top. I'd felt distinctly odd being the only person wandering around in Muggle cothing, and thus it was a relief to see that Tonks was strongly in touch with her Muggle half that day, dressed in a light skirt and a far skimpier shirt than I was sporting.

We each sized up one another's outfits and laughed. She began by peeling and chopping the carrots while I lent Ginny a hand with the dessert. I'd never had much of a knack for kitchen work, a fact my mother had bemoaned on numerous occasions, but I was a reasonably useful companion where dessert was involved. We'd had it so infrequently at the house of two rabidly healthy dentists that it was one of the few culinary pursuits in whose creative process I'd cared to interest myself.

"So Hermione," Tonks called from the vicinity of the sink, "Remus told me you won a scholarship to St. Mungo's.."

"I did," I affirmed loudly, murmuring to Ginny to turn down the music. She shot me a look that plainly suggested she thought I was crazy to want to turn down the volume of the music. I released a groan when I saw her shrewdly eyeing the buttons, undoubtedly endeavoring to determine which one would turn it up.

"So Snape submitted your potion?" Tonks yelled. "That's what Remus said."

"Yes, he did," I called back, "and it was enormously generous of him to go through the work. He's the entire reason I'll be able to afford to pursue my apprenticeship directly out of school."

"I'm amazed he was even willing to go through all that," I heard her remark in an incredulous tone. "I figured they'd have him thrown out for sure."

It took several moments for her words to sink in. Once they had, I paused in my ministrations and put down my utensils, frowning.

"What was that?"

"I said I'm amazed he was willing to go through all that," she reiterated, carrying the bowl of freshly washed and peeled carrots over to the table, where she commenced arranging an enormous garden salad. She was astoundingly deft with food considering her usual clumsiness pertaining to life matters in general.

"All what?" I queried, confused. "He said he just turned in the potion. The board of directors requested that he submit the best sample brewed by his students."

Tonks snorted indelicately. "That's what he told you, huh?" She shook her head, and I saw a rueful smile crease her lips. "I gotta tell you, Hermione, I'm surprised you didn't figure it out. But then again, he didn't survive two decades of spying because he's an idiot."

Having long since broached the point of being baffled...and, in fact, progressed to downright concerned...I abandoned my post at the dessert counter altogether and immediately seated myself beside Tonks. She was using two gigantic wooden spoons to toss the various vegetables in Molly Weasley's large serving bowl. The crisp greens and carrots looked delicious paired with juicy tomatoes and a light sprinkling of oregano, but I couldn't seem to concentrate on anything but the mounting feeling of apprehension in my chest.

"What didn't he tell me?" I prodded her, my tone more demanding than I'd intended. She glanced up, her dark eyes scrutinizing mine.

"Great," she exclaimed suddenly, and I thought she'd departed from the topic at hand until she sighed and murmured more privately, "Now I regret bringing it up. He probably really didn't want you to know."

I opened my mouth to ask yet another terse question, but she cut me off with a wave of her hand.

"I suppose I have to tell you now.... Look, Hermione, I'm not saying this so that you can run off and thank him again. It'll only embarrass him, and you more than anyone have gotten a look of how private a person he is, hmm?"

Though my instantaneous reaction was to agree with her, I wisely kept my mouth shut and waited for whatever else would be forthcoming.

She sighed, pushing aside the salad bowl. "Snape was a member of quite a few professional societies up until the end of your sixth year. He's a brilliant Potions master, after all... He still belonged to who knows how many honor societies from when he did his apprenticeship...three of them, in fact, all in increasingly more difficult aspects of potions...and when he got his rank, all those prestigious societies like the one you met were dying to get him.

"Of course," she admitted, "I only know this because of what Remus told me. I had no idea he was so popular among his colleagues, but then, he never says anything about himself. Certainly not to me," she added with a wry grin. "Anyway... Once Albus' murder became headline news, they all threw his name out immediately. He was lucky to maintain connections with any of them after the first time he was pardoned, for that matter, but I suppose over the years being a teacher at Hogwarts would have earned him some trust back. After last year, though..." She swept the edge of her hand threw the air, mimicking the slicing motion of a blade. "Cut him out completely. They were mortified at the thought that they'd ever had anything to do with him."

"Then how...?" I whispered into the ether. She nodded as though sensing the gist of my unfinished train of thought.

"I guess Remus read it in one of his journals. He keeps up with all the latest stuff in Defense, and of course a huge area of that is Dark potions. There was some blurb in one of his journals last month about Potions masters in the UK capable of brewing some particular potion, and there are very few of Snape's caliber. He was surprised they didn't mention him."

"So up until a month ago, they still hadn't readmitted him?"

"No, Remus looked into it...felt sorry for him, I think. Up until a month ago, all his ties with professional societies were still severed."

"Then he...?"

"Right in one," she pronounced; how she was able to complete a thought even I hadn't managed to fully formulate, I couldn't imagine. "He must have convinced them to let him back in so he could submit your potion... I've got no idea how. How long has he known that your parents didn't have the money for the apprenticeship?"

"Since Christmas," I replied slowly, the lingering memory of Christmas Eve resurfacing in my mind. "I was telling Professor Vector and Professor Flitwick why I didn't have an apprenticeship lined up, and he was in the room..."

Tonks shook her head in amazement, her short, spiky, vivid purple hair swaying from side to side with the movement. "I've got no idea how he did it, honestly. He must have fought tooth and nail to get back in. But then," she said with a chuckle, "Snape's bark's always been worse than his bite. He probably just named a few unpleasant repercussions and they let him back in out of sheer terror."

"He wouldn't do that," I insisted automatically, "least of all if they'd cut off ties with him due to his involvement. I refuse to believe that he could possibly have threatened his way in. But how did he convince them?"

"I don't know," she replied, shrugging. The thin straps of her tank top were making dangerously rapid progress toward the edges of her shoulders. "Haven't the foggiest. Maybe he was only able to do it because he had your potion to convince them that it was still worthwhile having him as a member. Or maybe," she added diffidently, "he did it because he wanted to submit your potion. The timing would be right."

Ginny, who had been irretrievably absorbed in her cooking, looked up to find me staring pensively at my hands, wringing them in frustration. "You okay, Hermione?" she asked with furrowed brows. "Tonks, what've you been doing to her?"

"Nothing," Tonks insisted. "She didn't realize Snape had to fight his way back into the Consortium to submit her potion is all."

Ginny gasped, her eyes flying to me. "I don't think any of us realized it. You okay, Hermione? You're not going to start feeling even more indebted to him, are you?"

"Hey," Tonks interjected suddenly, her tone firm to the point of being nearly maternal, "I didn't tell you this so that you'd think you owed him something. You should be grateful to him, sure, but don't allow him to convince you that this means he has any kind of power over you. You might not have been able to get in right away, Hermione, but there's no doubt in anyone's mind that you could have done it on your own, given enough time."

"He hasn't pressured her about it." I glanced up, relieved, to find that there was no trace of hesitation in Ginny's voice when she delivered the statement. "I was there when he told her... He did it just to help her out. He didn't seem like he expected anything in return. But I know you, Hermione, and I know you're feeling guilty that he's done so much for you."

It was just as well, I reflected dryly, because I had only one thing to offer him...and he hadn't seemed too enthralled by that particular prospect thus far.

***

My opinion was destined for a diametric change, however, as the afternoon wore on. At precisely three-thirty I stood alone in the kitchen, enjoying the soft breeze entering through the open window above the sink as I put the finishing touches on the dessert. I had been trying in vain to ignore the fact that he hadn't yet shown up, choosing instead to devote my utmost concentration to the arrangement of the raspberries on Mrs. Weasley's delicious cake. She and Mr. Weasley were sitting in the garden sipping aperitifs along with most of the other Order members. Ginny had strolled off to alert all the boys that the meal was being served.

Presuming that it would take her some time to sway their attention...even if the proffered alternative was food...Mrs. Weasley had suggested that the rest of us gather in the garden. I hadn't felt much inclined to surround myself with company at that moment, so I had offered to see to the final arrangements of the dessert until Ginny returned with the boys.

I had turned the volume down on the CD player significantly, but it was still loud enough within the kitchen to drown out nearly all the ambient sounds. I was singing along with purposeful passion, hoping to distract myself from my dispirited feeling, as I was crouched over the cake.

"I... I... believe in love," I sang loudly, adding more berries to the dessert with a flourish. I was going into the next verse, wholly unaware of my surroundings.

"I feel like I'm falling..."

I jumped and cried out when I met with a solid wall of resistance upon turning around. Severus stood there, the look in his eyes unmistakably amused, when I nearly dropped the colander of raspberries on the floor. I panted, half due to shock and half due to the sight of him before me. He was sporting a casual buttoned shirt...black, of course...rolled up nearly to his elbows, and the first two buttons at his throat were undone. I stared at the strong, muscled shape of his throat and shoulders, willing myself to cease staring at the exposed skin.

"I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, placing a hand against him in a reflexive gesture of conciliation and goodwill. I realized belatedly that it probably came off as worse (Much, much worse, Granger, my traitorous brain chimed in) to place my hand against his chest after staring unabashedly at the breadth of his shoulders in that shirt.

It was, however, the only thing I could reach at my current height, for I was barefoot, and he wore his usual black school boots. I yanked my hand away hastily, my fingertips relishing far too much the lingering sensation of the hard planes of his chest.

He remained silent for a moment, observing me, and then spoke up. "I apologize for startling you...and also for the rudeness of my late arrival," he continued, his voice neutral. "I was detained in the laboratory."

"Oh, that's all right." I set down the colander of raspberries and wiped my hands on the nearest dishtowel, relieved to have an excuse to turn away from him to compose myself quickly. I had to resist the urge to use the towel to fan my flushed face and chest.

Turning back to meet his eyes, I said in as natural a tone as I could manage, "Ginny's just gone to fetch the boys, but everyone else is in the garden. They'll be thrilled that you could come."

He gave a short nod, still apparently reluctant to release my gaze. We stood there, locked in one another's eyes, until Molly Weasley's entrance into the kitchen startled us both into tearing away.

"Severus!" Her tone, when it first emerged, was an amalgamation of surprise and concern. "I didn't realize you could make it." She shot me a searching look, and I could almost see the moment of realization clicking in her mind. "Hermione must have spoken with you?"

He nodded. "Miss Granger approached me to... request that I reconsider my decision."

"Well." She took in the two of us, her sharp eyes missing not an inch of my flushed skin and obvious discomfiture. Abruptly she raised her head, her eyes and expression brightening, and clapped her hands in a gesture of finality. "We're so thrilled you could make it! Remus will be glad to see you. Would you care for a drink?"

"Yes, thank you."

Her eyes widening almost imperceptibly at his atypical politeness, Mrs. Weasley directed him to the garden, leaving me to myself once again. I brushed off my capris, straightened my shirt, and downed an enormous glass of cold water before chancing to make an appearance in the garden. Ginny and the boys were just cresting the hill, lugging their brooms and laughing in good humor. I detoured to one of the flower pots to admire Mrs. Weasley's gardening skills, remaining there until Ginny had entered the garden.

"We're back, finally," she announced in mock irritation. Harry gave her a brief, good-natured kiss on the back of her neck, and she blushed violently. "Hello, everyone. Hello, Professor Snape," she added in obvious pleasure. "I'm glad you could make it."

I noticed for the first time that Luna had arrived, taking a seat beside Professor McGonagall. Ginny sat beside her, and Harry, Ron, and the others followed suit, choosing seats offering a location near the people with whom they'd been conversing. When everyone had settled and begun exclaiming in admiration over the appetizing array of dishes, the only seat left available to me was beside Fred...and directly across from Severus.

I sat with trepidation, ignoring the food for the time being in favor of another drink of water. Severus watched me with his lips flat and expressionless, but a rather sardonic look had entered into his dark eyes. We reached simultaneously for the salad bowl, and in a moment of cliché discomfort, his fingers brushed mine. He immediately retreated, nodding in concession, and I offered him a smile as thanks and dished myself out a small serving of salad.

Mr. Weasley was passing the wine around the table when I heard Tonks giggling slightly at the other end. Remus whispered something to her I couldn't distinguish, and she giggled and murmured back. Severus' head shot up suddenly and he stared at them with such intensity that it made me shiver. I wondered if he'd been able to discern the words I hadn't.

A fleeting look of triumph flared in his eyes when Remus cleared his throat and rose to his feet, smiling benevolently down at Tonks. I gasped...rather too loudly, I admit...and Ginny began jumping in her seat, squealing. The boys merely looked baffled, but every female at the table and most of the men knew instantly what he was about announce.

"Everyone," he said, "as much as I hate to spoil what is essentially Harry, Ron, and Hermione's day, there is something Nymphadora and I would like to say to you, and I think this is perhaps the most advantageous opportunity."

"Oh, Remus!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, tears already visibly filling her eyes. He glanced rather nervously at Harry, Ron, and myself in turn as though seeking our silent approval. I could feel a few tears pooling in my own eyes as I beamed at him and nodded.

"Well," he said, "I've asked this lovely woman to be my wife"...Tonks snorted, her usual humor reasserting itself..."and for some reason, she's consented."

"Oh shut up!" Tonks exclaimed, hitting him gently on the shoulder as everyone laughed, clapped, and offered their exuberant congratulations.

"I realize," Remus continued, "that the differences in our ages might make some of you nervous, but we have discussed it, and Nymphadora insists that it does not bother her." He placed a hand over hers, and while I was conscious of the fact that it was precisely the sort of sentimental tripe I ought to have brushed past, a familiar feeling of longing and rebellion passed through me. Of course it didn't bother Tonks...she loved him totally, unconditionally, and it had been obvious to all of us for some time. I could imagine precisely how she'd felt through all those long weeks of seeking in vain to convince Remus of the sincerity and depth of her affections despite the age disparity and his unfortunate condition.

"And so," he concluded, "I'd like to invite everyone to the wedding...when we finalize the date, that is...and I promise you I'll do my best to see that she doesn't regret it!"

Most everyone laughed and raised their glasses in salute. I did so as well, catching Tonks' eyes. 'Congratulations,' I mouthed, feeling certain that I'd never been happier for a friend than I was at that moment. The previously blasé look had passed from her face, and she was shedding tears freely now.

"Thank you!" she called back aloud, and everyone turned to view my reaction. I smiled, feeling the tautness of the motion, and sipped at my glass in synchrony with the others. Professor McGonagall, however, had not stopped staring in my direction, and it took me a moment to realize that she was closely observing Severus.

I glanced over, truly unsure as to what his reaction to his coworker's news might be, and found that while he had the barest of token smiles playing at his lips, his eyes looked positively tortured. He looked over at me, and my throat constricted when he made no effort to glance away or hide his interest. He looked at me...really, truly looked at me...and a subtle understanding seemed to suspend itself between the two of us.

"So Hermione," Remus called from the other end of the table. With reluctance so overwhelming I felt it physically, I tore my eyes away from Severus' to respond.

"Yes?"

"When do you start up at St. Mungo's?"

"Not even a week now," I called back, absently aware that I had been consistently mutilating my food for nearly ten minutes. I put the fork down gently. "I'm moving into my flat tomorrow."

"Really?" Remus raised an eyebrow. "They've got you a flat as well?"

"Yes. The stipend was incredibly generous. There was money left over, and they offered to let me use it to rent a place near the hospital so I wouldn't have to Floo every day from my parents'."

He nodded in understanding, and Ron spoke up through a mouthful of food. "And she's started studying already, I'll bet," he jested lightly. Everyone chuckled and looked at me for confirmation.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, yes, I have, but you can't blame me for that...I've got a lot to cover!"

***

Evening arrived far too quickly for my liking. I had been rent the entire time between the dueling desires to say the dreaded goodbye to him as soon as possible and the deep-seated need to have him in close physical proximity. As it had gotten cooler and darker, we'd all pulled on our jackets and lit several of the lovely lanterns that spaced the area of the garden.

Seating was limited, and I found that rather than Transfiguring myself a chair, I was able to comfortably rest at the foot of Ginny's chair, leaning my head against her legs. She'd brought the CD player out half an hour before to introduce the adults to the concept of Muggle music, and we'd all enjoyed it greatly. Even Severus was forced to crack a smile when she'd asked cheerfully, "So, Hermione, do you know any great love songs? Harry says they're all terribly sentimental."

"Obviously," I had retorted with a smile, chewing my cake thoughtfully. "That's rather the point."

"Play us one," Tonks called happily. "I'm going to force Remus to dance with me."

I choked on my cake, and Ginny pounded me on the back. "I don't think I want to be the reason Remus calls off the wedding the same day he announces it," I yelled back, rousing raucous laughter from everyone present...including, to my immense satisfaction, Severus. My entire body suffused with pleasure when I heard the dark, rich sound of him chuckling nearby.

"All right," Ginny announced vehemently, "I'll find one, then. Harry, help me out."

Harry bent over the stack of CDs, glancing quickly through them. "Hermione, I wouldn't have taken you for a fan of most of these bands," he joked. "My cousin listens to some of these!"

I raised a challenging eyebrow. "Then I suppose he has admirable taste."

Harry snorted and pulled out one of the disks. "I don't know," he said slowly, dubiously, looking it over with an almost suspicious eye. "I've never had much experience with music."

Ginny shot me a pout, and I glanced down at Tonks to find her presenting me with an equally petulant expression. I couldn't think of a more loathsome prospect than having to choose a love song to play in front of Severus...who was probably already mulling over my deplorable taste...but I couldn't stand to disappoint Tonks.

"Fine," I capitulated, sighing and placing aside my plate of cake. "But only," I insisted with an assertively raised finger, "to celebrate your engagement. Not because I want to embarrass myself by playing you my favorite love song," I grumbled, and Harry clapped me on the shoulder in commiseration when I crouched down near the CD player.

I popped in the relevant CD, turned it to the correct track, and tentatively turned up the volume. Tonks had laughingly dragged Remus out into the grass, and they were dancing with gentle, swaying movements that brought her petite frame firmly against his body. Harry and Ginny quickly joined them, but not before she exclaimed over what a beautiful song I'd chosen.

Ron and Luna were quick to follow, and then Mr. and Mrs. Weasley did the same. Feeling increasingly uncomfortable and embarrassed, I took refuge in Ginny's chair, curling my legs beneath me and dolefully regarding the dancing couples. I didn't want to be pathetically obvious in my longing, so I pretended to watch the fading light of dusk, feigning admiration for the landscape.

The song concluded on a soft note, and I realized with a jolt of awareness that Severus was rising from his seat, clearly making his exit. I rose instinctively, and we walked in silence to the living room, where he began to take hold of a handful of Floo powder.

"Thank you for inviting me." The living room was unlit and by this time profoundly dark; I could hardly distinguish the outline of his facial features from the overall blurry profile of his body.

"You're welcome. Thank you for coming."

We stood in silence, a few grains of Floo powder escaping his grip to cascade to the floor in a light shower.

"Good luck with your apprenticeship," he continued in a much more recognizable, professional tone.

"Professor..."

"Severus."

I stifled a small gasp, but I could not control the racing of my heart. It was impossible for me to see his eyes, far too dark in the dim light, but I could feel the heat radiating from his body and detect the tantalizing scent of his aftershave. I hadn't stood this close to him in recent memory.

"Severus," I agreed softly, my body thrumming with the joy of accentuating the beautiful sound of his name. "I want to thank you again for everything you've done for me. I will never forget it."

"You're welcome, Hermione." The tension was perilously close to liquefying me. Finally he raised his hand to toss the Floo powder into the fire, and I pulled out my last desperate resort.

"I'm moving into my flat tomorrow," I said as confidently as I could, "so if you're ever in the neighborhood..."

He regarded me, the movement of his hand arrested. I moved forward incrementally, desperate to bring myself closer to the heat so recklessly emanating from his body. He was impossibly enticing, warm and delicious in the emboldening darkness of the living room. For one blissful moment I saw his face lower slightly, inclining, and the desire in my chest roared to life.

"Perhaps I will do that." To anyone else his tone would have sounded casual, perhaps even aloof, but I was forcibly reminded of the eighteen-year-old boy whose voice had cracked slightly as he'd gasped in pleasure while Bellatrix Lestrange was above him. To me it carried all the significance...and the hope...in the world.

He disappeared into the flames.

Author's Note:

I would like to once again offer my deepest thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, and continues to do so regularly. You're pretty much the reason I have the desire to continue writing despite the stress of school. :) I can't thank you enough. I'm having so much fun posting this, and I hope you'll continue to enjoy the chapters.

As a side note, I made Hermione a U2 fan simply because I was listening to Rattle and Hum while writing the chapter, and I think they're a reasonably enjoyable band for most people. Hope no one was horrified by her choice in music. While completing the first portion of this chapter I was listening to "God Part II," which are the lyrics she sings just before bumping into Severus. I can't take credit for that song, which is terrific, by the way. :-P

I purposely neglected to include any lyrics or allusion to the love song she chose because I didn't want anyone objecting to my choice (considering that most of you are probably already sickened by the saccharine quality of the chapter!), but I couldn't resist the thought of her feelings coming across via song when she had no opportunity to escape the revealing. It's such a personal expression for someone who is generally composed and practical. Mentally insert whatever song you feel would best describe her feelings for Severus...that's what I did with mine! I'll post the song title and lyrics I chose to imagine on my PP author profile so that you can view them in the unlikely even that you care. I really do think it is an apt description.

Again, thanks so much for your patience. They are very, very close to the pivotal moment, but I couldn't resist exposing a bit more of Hermione's vulnerabilities first. It will make the moment he kisses her all the more thrilling, I think. :)