Epilogue - Coda

Pas de Deux

Epilogue – Coda

The end of the war against Voldemort did not precipitate any lasting feelings of euphoria amongst its survivors. Certainly, it could be said that everyone involved reaped what they deserved – committed Death Eaters were locked away in Azkaban, prominent members of the Order of the Phoenix received order of Merlin medals; Arthur Weasley became Minister of Magic and on Miss Hermione Granger's insistence he launched a campaign to create greater awareness to the treatment of house elves. For the students of Hogwarts, however, the end of the war only meant a reduction of their number. Most of the sixth and seventh year Slytherins who had joined Voldemort and refused to be rehabilitated were to serve life sentences at Azkaban; several muggle-born Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Gryffindors were killed in the run up to the final battle; and of the remaining students who survived, nearly all of them were somehow traumatised by the loss of someone dear to them. To the great consternation of the student body, examinations were not cancelled. Even though Hogwarts was short staffed following the deaths of Professors Trelawney, Grubbly-Plank and Moody, the day-to-day administrative matters were almost as efficient as ever. Professor Dumbledore, who had been severely wounded in the battle, only regained his former strength at the close of the NEWTs. Prior to his recovery, the school was very managed by Professors McGonagall and Snape. Like Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter had been gravely wounded and though it was popularly rumoured that he was tittering on the brink of death every other night, his full recovery by the commencement of the NEWTs dispelled any report of his permanent incapacitation.

Despite Harry's late recovery from his injuries, infrequent revision, less than perfect academic track record and his penchant for Quidditch and heroics over books, he had, rather miraculously, passed all his NEWTs subjects. As such, despite the difficult time during the reconstruction of the wizarding world and the short-lived gaiety, the staff at Hogwarts, with the exception of Professor Severus Snape, was pleased to find that Harry could now fulfil his dream of becoming an auror. Many of them felt that Harry had enough practical experience to warrant his success in his chosen field. Severus alone, however, noted with an almost malicious glee that Harry Potter had only achieved a marginal pass in all his NEWTs subjects. He contented himself with thoughts that no amount of natural talent and practical experience could make up for aptitude and intelligence tests that were necessary for admittance into the Auror Training Programme at the Ministry of Magic. Despite evidence to the contrary that Harry had indeed obtained all marginal passes on his own merit alone, Severus was inclined to believe otherwise. In fact, he staunchly insisted that the NEWTS results had been deliberately tampered with so as to accommodate and reward the boy-who-lived-to-vanquish-Voldemort-again. So strong was his belief that he had insisted that the young man would get through all the auror tests from his reputation alone. He had even planned to move to order a formal investigation into the grading of the NEWTS, but was stopped by the Headmaster, Dumbledore on grounds that it would be a waste of resources when the wizarding world was trying to rebuild itself. Disgruntled and unwilling to acknowledge that Dumbledore was right, Severus retreated from the Great Hall, presumably to sulk in his chambers.

Hermione Granger followed his exit with her eyes and wondered at the irrational prejudice of her former Potions Master. Although she wanted to go after him, she knew he needed some time by himself to think. It was often a useless endeavour to attempt any conversation when Severus was in a temper. When the full results of the NEWTS were finally released to the student body, no one but Hermione herself was surprised to discover that she had been the top student. She was even more astonished to discover that she had shattered the top scores of one Severus Snape by ten. The results, however, were less important to Hermione than her present plans. She had been called to the head table for a tête-à-tête with Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall. The news that they jointly revealed was most exciting. Not only was she was the top Hogwarts student, she was to receive a full scholarship to study at Glasgow Wizarding University and was assured of a teaching position upon graduation. She was eager to share this information with Harry or in fact, anyone who would partake in her joy. She was to be disappointed in this. Harry had met Hermione's rapturous squeals of further education and teaching with a polite lukewarm "congratulations" and hug before he joined Luna in more quiet speculations on their future. Harry had not been the same ever since Ron's death in his sixth year. He had become more withdrawn and relied heavily on Luna and Hermione as an emotional crutch and a confidant respectively. Yet, after the final battle, he seemed to have almost slipped into a world of his own, whispering speculations of life and death to Luna, who was the only one who could bear him with patience and equanimity.

Devoid of anyone who truly understood her, Hermione made her way to the dungeons to break the news to the one person she thought would truly be happy for her. She was disappointed to find him conspicuously absent. She tried looking around his office to see if he had left a note as to his whereabouts but gave up upon realising that Severus Snape was a man who guarded his privacy jealously. She could not help noticing that his papers were in disarray and that the cup of coffee was still warm. It could only mean that he had suddenly left his sanctuary. She would find him and she would tell him the news. Before she could leave, however, a parchment with his neat spidery hand caught her eye. It was not one of his scrawls that he often made when he was working on improving one his potion formulas, neither was it a detailed analysis of a draught he created for the purpose of curing werewolves. She knew that those two were his overwhelming current research interests and he would usually have written all over the parchment in various coloured inks to denote the stages of his experiments and thought process. The writing on the parchment was ordered and the words were cryptic at best. It was clearly not his research notes. Hermione looked at the top and saw the title. Rereading the parchment again, she felt as if another piece of the puzzle of his mind had come into focus for her. She felt a renewed urge to seek him out. Carefully, she rolled the parchment and pocketed it. Armed with a wanton disregard for rules, she proceeded to dash to the infirmary where he would sometimes take stock of the potions he would have to replenish for Madam Pomfrey. He was not there. She bit her lower lip in dismay – she did not enjoy hunting down people, it was a cruel sport and utterly unnecessary, but she was determined to play out the bout because she needed to know its outcome.

At the staff room too, Hermione met with failure. Noticing her anxiety and the almost desperate wild look in her eyes, Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall, though disquieted by her sudden entrance, kindly instructed her to try the Astronomy Tower. Thanking them and leaving them to their prior activity, she made the long and meandering journey to the Astronomy Tower. She smiled in spite of herself. "So the rumours are true! Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall are shamelessly carrying on!" she muttered to herself with a faint laugh. It was true then, the need for loving and acceptance never stops. While walking briskly to the Tower, she ignored many stares in her direction as she talked quietly to herself. "Of course," she mumbled, as she arrived at the spiral stairwell leading to the Tower. "It's far away from everyone else and he always wants to be alone to reflect. I should have known."

Quickening her pace, she almost ran up the stairs with the certainty that he was there and not expecting her. Hermione was proved wrong again, for she was nearly at the topmost step when she was greeted by a sharp, "Ten points from Gryffindor for running up the stairs, Miss Granger."

She was startled by his voice; she did not know he had already sensed her presence. If it were not for the firm grip of his hand on hers, she would have surely tumbled most unceremoniously down the stairs.

Pulling her up and safely depositing her beside him, he turned away from her. "I was not aware that broken arms are the latest accessories du jour," he mocked in a serious tone, narrowing his eyes at the sight of the Forbidden Forest. "If you wish to send yourself to Madam Pomfrey in broken shards, by all means, hasten to hurl yourself down."

Deciding that it was best to ignore his comments, she approached him and began breathlessly, "Professor, I have news to share!"

Severus closed his eyes momentarily and leaned against the wall before staring out beyond the parapet at the forest. "Make it quick if you don't want to suffer any further shocks today!" he cautioned with a scowl.

"If that's the way you feel, I will leave you now!" she threatened hotly, visibly annoyed with his uncalled for behaviour. She had done nothing to offend him and was indignant as to his tone with her. Yet, she was curious as to the reason which drew him away from his office to Astronomy Tower.

"You should have done that years ago when I first asked you to," he answered in a carefully quiet hiss. "You didn't think, did you, Miss Granger?"

Hermione noticed a chair in the corner and dragged it to a position where she could examine his features to her satisfaction. "Are you still taking points from Gryffindor?" she asked, forcibly calming herself.

"Of course, Miss Granger," he answered in an even low tone, staring into her eyes.

"Is this about the scores then?" she asked

"Do you expect me to congratulate you? Look for it elsewhere, I am not in a giving mood."

She sighed and saw that there was no way about it if he was determined to be difficult. "Professor Snape, there are bound to be people out there who are better than one at certain things. You cannot be all perfect and all knowing all the time. Isn't that what you taught us? Didn't you say no one is indispensable?"

Severus spun around violently and grasped her chair tightly, effectively fencing her in her seat. "In that case, Miss Granger, tell me what am I still doing at Hogwarts now that I have outlived my useful purpose?" he spat.

"You are a good teacher. A good teacher has every purpose to remain at Hogwarts," she offered, glaring at him. "I won't be leaving Hogwarts permanently, sir," she added slowly, giving the impression that she had chosen her words with great care.

"Is McGonagall keeping you behind for a project?" he sneered, "You have allowed yourself to be used again. Let this be a lesson to you!"

She snorted derisively as she continued to hold his gaze. "Will you please listen to me? I'm attending Glasgow Wizarding University in the autumn, sir. I will need to remain here for the practical sessions. Effectively, I will be living at Hogwarts." Hermione thought she caught a flicker of astonishment and a slight smile on Severus's face, but was positive that she had imagined it, for he was presently scowling at her.

"Do you mean to inform me that you will be here to torment me for another three years? Do you mean you will continue bombard me with worthless questions without any repose? I must speak to the Headmaster about this!" he exclaimed in an agitated and irate tone. He made a move to go but she stayed him by holding on to his hand. He raised an eyebrow at her and curled his lips contemptuously at her attempt to hold him back, but made no attempt to fling off the light grip of her soft warm hand.

"I'm in the Alchemy programme, sir. You will have to grade my practicals and final project. Upon graduation..." she paused uncertain whether she should continue. Drawing a sharp intake of breath, she quickly continued, "Upon graduation, I will assume your position and..."

"WHAT!" Severus bellowed, causing the birds on the school grounds to take off in fright. He fought the urge to shout, "What will I do? Where will I go?" but he steadied himself on feeling the affectionate pressure of her hand on his. He decided to control his temper to rage at Dumbledore later. "When did the Headmaster decide to retire me before my time?" he snapped, his eyes glinting at her with something akin to betrayal and pain.

Hermione reached forward to remove a stray lock of hair from his face and neatly tucked it behind his ear. "He planned to tell you when it was time for you to assume the Defence Against the Dark Arts position," she answered in quiet nervousness, unconsciously increasing her pressure on his hand.

Severus was stunned. He looked deep into Hermione's eyes and saw that she had spoken the truth. For the first time in his life, he was rendered speechless. He would be getting the coveted Defence Against the Dark Arts position at last. So that was what Dumbledore and McGonagall had been discussing all morning. They had arranged with Glasgow Wizarding University to allow Miss Granger to undertake her practical sessions at Hogwarts so that she could understudy him. He had his wish, he could keep her by his side and impart his knowledge to her as he desired. For the first time in a long while, he was overjoyed. However, he deigned not to show it and at that moment, Hermione released his hand, blushing that she had actually held it for so long. It was a shame she let go, he thought, he was getting accustomed to it.

"Is that all, Miss Granger?" he asked imperiously, curling his lip with impatience, wanting desperately to return to his office.

She coloured violently as her hand found the parchment she had pocketed. She would ask him now and if he said no, at least she would know and would cease to live in notions of what-ifs-and-what-might-have-been. "Do you want to accompany my parents and I to Glasgow tomorrow, sir?"

"Whatever for?" he asked in an awkwardly cold manner.

"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed. Her eyes shone with tears at her disappointment. "We're still waiting then? Of course, stupid me! I would still be almost your student if I were to remain here, wouldn't I? It would be unethical, I hadn't thought about your sensibilities," she continued logically.

"Miss Granger, I demand you cease your incoherent babbling! If you must speak, make a conscious effort to speak in truths."

She frowned at his inability to remember their promise. "I thought it was agreed that so long as you wanted it, I will wait."

"So," he laughed in a bitter and ironic manner, "Carmen has come back to haunt me! Do you know why I have ordered you away? To save you from myself!" He laughed bitterly again before singing in a deep baritone, "Mais si je t'aime, prends garde à toi."

Unable to watch the spectacle of a bitter Severus Snape warbling the Havanaise from Carmen without reacting, Hermione stood up and shook him by his arms. "You do have an excessively dramatic way of displaying self-pity. How long have you been wallowing in it? Is it so difficult to believe that I will accept you for what you are because you have always accepted me for what I am? We respect and trust each other, they put up with each other's psychological hang-ups and moral egoism. We know when to leave the other alone; when the other needs encouragement and when the other needs a little cuddle," she lectured vehemently, arms akimbo.

"And am I to think that a mere seventeen, no, eighteen year old knows what she wants out of life?" he questioned in that voice of dangerous purring silk.

"And what do you know of life other than abject misery?" she retorted. "You will not cut me off. Like you, I will not be denied. I know that I want to study. I know that I am happy in an academic environment. I know that I am happiest when I am at Hogwarts. I know that I want to be a good Potions Mistress, perhaps with your guidance, almost as good as you are. I know that I feel strangely comforted around you. I know that when I look at you, I am always amazed at the marvel that is your mind. I know that with you, I will have intellectual stimulation and conversations about life, potions, books, philosophy and every other issue under the heavens. I know that everything else between us in such a partnership will be incidental. I know that we will respect each other because you know I can read your moods; and you, my mind and desires. I know that we will respect each other because you know I am more adept emotionally and I know you are my intellectual superior. I know that we will be moderating forces on each other!"

"So young, so hopeful, so idealistic! Need I tell you Miss Granger that it doesn't last! I mangle and blight everything I touch. Happiness is a harbinger of sorrow and misery. I will not allow you to be miserable!" Severus reasoned, his voice quaking with a mixture of self-loathing, anger and admiration for the young lady confronting him.

"Do you realise how pompous you sound? How dare you presume to my decisions for me? You did the same in this..." she announced, holding up the parchment.

He looked at it dismissively and schooled his features into contemptuous indifference before waiting for her to make her move. "You compiled a list of my faults! Well done, Miss Granger, very methodological," he snapped.

She smiled stealthily, like a cat who knows that the mouse she caught had nowhere to run. "It's an interesting title, 'Pas de Deux', isn't it?" she drawled in a soft hiss reminiscent of his own. "Let's see what you wrote, shall we?" She watched him pale slightly as he struggled to successfully regain his composure. She cleared her throat dramatically and read:

"Should we or shouldn't we?

This objective seems to be increasingly clouded

By numerous preliminary hearings

Affiliated with multiple scriveners report playing.

Perhaps we should –

Considering the carrying capacity of our affection

Full of intonation without inversions

Unmodulated respect shall continue to abound

If we agree on a downcast prelude signed.

Yes, let's go ahead –

Formalise the process with a higher engagement

Exposing the grand mutual entrapment

Humming itself as your chartered wings

To mark me with a nip on my lips.

No, I must disagree –

Sweet as your offer beckons

It's nothing more than a fantasia

Marking a sorry duet with a divertissement

Rendering all to the impossible and flawed.

Should we or shouldn't we?

This objective seems more and more malignant

Slowly brewing discontented attitudes

Sung un-charismatically by inadequate bids

Representing a demented off-key impasse."

"How did you find it?" he queried quietly with an edge of annoyance in his faltering voice.

"Your office when I was looking for you. You presumed to write my response for me. Do you take me for a fool? I know what a pas de deux is. The fourth stanza is the equivalent of the female solo. How are you so sure that I will refuse?"

Severus cast her a pained look. "It is for your own good. I'm a decrepit old man with odd tempers who will terrorise you day and night. I will corrupt your soul."

Hermione snorted indignantly. "What I see is a man with a terrible inferiority complex! When I gave you my word, Severus Snape, I meant it. I don't know exactly when it happened, but I can tell you for a fact that I love you. I love you, greasy hair, temper, impatience, formidable mind and all. It's not a heady floating on air love, but one founded on respect, admiration and appreciation. Even though I disagree with your methods, I adore the way you think, the way you trace your lips absentmindedly. I will wait for you as long as it takes, a month, three years, thirty years, I will wait," she said quietly, lowering her eyes in embarrassment.

He stared at her stunned by her words. She would wait for him! He looked at her tired face and saw a tiny smile as she pushed aside her bushy untameable hair; it was a reconciliatory smile. It was a smile of peace. It was a smile for him. Severus's mind lurched at the thought that Hermione Granger had smiled for him. She trusted him and she wanted him just as he was – temper, irrational outbursts and all. It would be comforting to return to their chambers and see her there, preparing her lecture notes, biting her lips in annoyance as she marked the dunderheads' parchments. It would be nice to have her notice he was back. He could picture her giving him a slight smile before she returned to her work. He could picture the conversations they would have in front of the fire; he would be seated on the carpet and she would be resting her head on his lap and around them would lie several opened books; and they would talk till dawn about everything and nothing. Severus realised that if he didn't repulse her and she was willing to wait for him, it meant that she was as frightened and uncertain as he was. He looked at her playing with the ends of his robe sleeve– what wasn't there to love in a woman who had an insatiable thirst for knowledge and would settle for the whole package that was Severus Snape?

"Ethical philosophy has never been one of my strongest subjects," he sighed, gently stroking her cheek with some reserve. Although he was strangely moved when she turned slightly and lightly kissed his palm, he did not show it. "I will not take this opportune time to do something ridiculous like declaring myself," he said sternly, silkily modulating his tone as if he hated the very idea of playing the gallant chevalier. He proffered her his arm, which she gratefully took with an amused laugh. "Tomorrow, my dear Miss Granger, we shall make for Glasgow and discuss your final project. Milady, a simple ground rule: I am Severus only when we're alone" he continued in a warning, patting her hand stiffly and tucking it properly on his arm. "Now, shall we see the Headmaster and discuss the small matter of your living quarters?"

Unbeknownst to the shy couple, they were being observed by a tabby cat with slight squarish markings around its eyes. The cat watched them leave the Astronomy Tower from the shadows and licked her paws thinking, "Albus was right! That means I have buy him a month's supply of his ghastly sweets. No matter, it's for a good cause." With that thought in her head, Minerva McGonagall padded her away to her office.

Finis

Footnotes:

Pas de deux or grand pas de deux is formal five-part ballet sequence for two dancers: (1) the entrée (2) ballerina's partnered adagio (3) male solo (4) female solo (5) coda.

The poem is mine, if it's awful – I apologise. And the ending is slightly AU - if it offends, i apologise as well.