Chapter 4: Snape's Dilemma

Chapter 4: Snape's Dilemma

As they descended stairs from Dumbledore's room that morning, both Severus and Melodia were relieved that he seemed to be out of immediate danger. About halfway down the stairs, Melodia noticed the strong aroma of bacon frying, followed by the smell of fresh brewed coffee.

"Oh, Shaggy! Breakfast!" she exclaimed and bolted down the stairs. "Who's cooking?" she asked anxiously as she rounded the corner of the kitchen from the foyer.

What she saw was amazing. There were eggs scrambling in a small pan on the front stove eye. A pan of bacon was frying and was being taken up on a plate that was padded with napkins. Across the room, the table was set for two. It was complete with freshly squeezed orange juice, toast, and a steaming pot of coffee.

"That would be me," said the familiar male voice behind her.

"You did this, Shaggy? Oh, how domestic!" she teased.

He scowled playfully at her use of adjectives. She squeezed his arm sweetly and dashed over to the table for some coffee.

"You needn't think that I will be making this a habit, little girl," he said silkily. "I was hungry myself and thought it would be rude not too include you," he teased right back. She sipped her coffee and laughed at his cheekiness.

"That was really good, Shaggy. Thank you," she said gratefully as they finished the delicious breakfast that Severus had prepared for them. He nodded satisfactorily and poured them another cup of steaming coffee.

Severus eyed her mischievously and said, "I seem to remember someone that I used to know complained daily about overeating her breakfast." He paused for a moment. "Clearly it was her favorite meal," he chided and raised an eyebrow for emphasis.

"And I am sure that you made this wonderful breakfast for me just so you could tease me about it!" she finished, then pouted openly.

Her pouting amused him. She was just as he had always remembered her, and it felt natural to be sitting with her, sharing breakfast again and teasing her for overeating. He decided that now was the best time he could think of to ask the questions he had wanted to ask since their reunion a few nights earlier.

He laid his coffee mug aside and began, "How did you come to be here, Loddie?" He studied her face intently.

It was clear to her now that the lighter moments had passed. She knew that difficult questions were soon to follow, and her mind scrambled, frantically searching for a way to sidestep this subject without alerting Severus of her efforts.

"I live here, Shaggy. This is my home," she answered casually. Then she poured more sugar into her mug.

Surprised at this answer, he asked, "Is it?" He thought for moment then added, "So... is this where you moved when you left Hogwarts?"

Melodia hesitated for a moment. "No, Shaggy. That is, not immediately. It was a couple of years later."

Severus looked stunned. "Where were you before that?" he asked anxiously.

She knew this would be difficult, but she needed to tell him something and change the subject quickly.

"I... er ... had to finish school first. Then, Uncle Albus set it up for me to live here with a Muggle family that he knew from years ago, the Vaughns--" She paused again, hoping he could not see her trembling. "--until I was old enough to come home again."

"Old enough for what?" he asked. Severus was completely puzzled now. He could tell that she was getting upset about something, but he had a lot of other questions and there was one more question he needed to have her answer first.

Before she had time to reply, he asked the question she had dreaded for twenty years.

"Why did you leave Hogwarts so suddenly, Loddie? Were you ill?" He tried to ask in a tone that was sounded more like concern than it did prying. He looked as if he were about to burst with anticipation of her answer. She knew she had no way to continue this. Not yet, she thought.

In an effort to avoid his eyes, she looked down at her coffee cup to conceal the whole truth behind her own.

Watching her closely, he realized that there was something very wrong. She suddenly became pale, and although he was curious, he decided not to press her any further.

"I think the rest is a story for another time," she managed. "We need to take Uncle Albus his breakfast just now," she stated in a responsible tone.

He shrugged and then nodded in temporary agreement. It is better this way, he thought. He had plenty of time to find out why she was so reluctant to speak of her years away from him, and he knew she would tell him ...eventually.

They left the kitchen and climbed the stairs to take Dumbledore his breakfast in silence.

Melodia had put together a plate of breakfast for him because Severus warned her that Dumbledore would need a bit of nourishment before he could be given the Medicamentum.

To the amazement of them both, they found Dumbledore awake and reading pieces of parchment, which were strewn all around his bedcovers.

"What's this?" Dumbledore asked, as Melodia made her way to his bedside with the savory plate of food.

"It seems that Severus has prepared breakfast for us, Uncle," she said cheerfully, "and you need to eat something before you begin taking your potion."

"Potion?" he asked curiously. "I see. So you intend to medicate me further, I take it?" She smiled broadly and nodded.

"Headmaster, Melodia and I found a recipe for Medicamentum. It is a healing potion for injuries that also serves as an antidote for certain poisons." Snape advised knowledgeably. "It can either be taken orally or administered to the specific wounds directly."

"Ah yes, I seem to remember reading about it years ago," he said and then added, "Wretched tasting too, I suppose?" with a touch of disdain in his tone.

Melodia laughed at her uncle's almost childlike remark. "Not at all. Actually, I tasted it as we added ingredients and found the taste to be quite pleasant."

Dumbledore finished his breakfast and drank his potion dutifully.

"Delightful!" he exclaimed as he swallowed the last sip. "Thank you, my dear. You were quite right about the taste... and thank you, Severus. This was a splendid meal," he remarked contentedly.

"Now, if I may, I should like to speak with you, Severus. I have several thoughts and questions that require your expertise," Dumbledore stated casually. "That is, of course, before I become too groggy to continue," he added as he straightened his spectacles.

"Of course, Headmaster. I am, as always, at your service," Snape responded respectfully and pulled the wing-backed chair closer to Dumbledore's bedside.

Melodia smiled and cleared away his dishes. "Good. I will attend to the kitchen so that you boys can visit." She winked as she left the room.

Her mind was full of Severus. She loved him with all of her heart. It was tormenting for her to dodge his questions. She was longing to answer them, but somehow she was afraid. Once he knew the entire reason for her leaving Hogwarts, she feared he would want nothing more to do with her. At least for now, there was a wonderful tension in the house with him here. She wished for so much more with him and wondered if she would ever get the chance to tell him that. Now was not the time, however, with all of the Voldermort rubbish going on. She wasn't sure when or even if that would ever happen.

Tears began to fall freely from her eyes. She was crying for the years that she had missed with him and the missed opportunity to love him the way she had always dreamed of. She cried for not ever really knowing if he loved her the way she loved him; if he were capable of loving at all, that is. She pondered this as she wiped all remnants of bacon grease from the stove.

The night of his arrival to Hidden Terrace was wonderful. He was so handsome. His age was evident, of course, and the difficult life he had led had left lines in that wonderful, masculine face; however, he still possessed those dark piercing eyes which seemed to dance only when he was looking at her. Isn't that a sign of real love? she asked herself. Melodia hoped to have the opportunity to find out, but now was not that time.

Perhaps when the battle was over and the danger had passed, they would have the chance they were both robbed of so many years ago. For now, however, she found comfort in the fact that he was there with her, and he was alive and safe. She brushed tears from her eyes as she gazed out over the rolling estate towards the stables. Her horse lived there. Perhaps later she would take a ride. Riding always made her feel better. A little fresh air in her lungs and a vigorous workout for Black Diamond was 'just what the doctor ordered,' as the Muggles say. She smiled at this and began to feel her spirits lift a bit.

She finished clearing the breakfast dishes and decided to pay Black Diamond a visit. He was the horse that she had raised after his mother died giving birth to him. Dimey was almost three years old now. He was a gorgeous stallion with a strong, muscular frame and a solid black coat that was sleek and shiny. He was the closest thing to a child she had ever had, and Melodia loved him deeply.

She entered the stables and searched for his coat brush. The stable was magnificent to behold. It had tiled floors of elegant emerald and tan granite tiles. The walls of the stable were also tile with tan granite with sporadic splashes of green and other faint colors within the design.

With his brush in hand, she walked to the door of Dimey's stall. "Tck,tck,tck," was all she said, and he tromped happily over to meet her.

"There's my boy," she said with great affection. "I'll bet you've wondered what happened to me lately, huh, babe?" Black Diamond snorted and head butted her as if in agreement with this question. She brushed him thoroughly, speaking lovingly to him as she groomed his lovely coat.

"I think you need some exercise, babe," she said as she led him to the huge pasture behind the stables and released the lead from his neck. She watched him frolic and run, smiling and cheering him on.

Just then she heard a familiar voice calling to her from the other side of the pasture.

"Hello stranger!" he called. She shielded her eyes from the sun to get a better look at the voice's owner and saw Drake riding toward her on his chestnut mare, Rusty.

Drake Matteszoff was the nearest neighbor she had. He lived three miles over on a ranch north of Hidden Terrace.

Drake was very wealthy and was only about seven years older than she was. He was also very attractive. He was tall and well tanned. He as of athletic build and had beautiful salt and pepper hair that was prematurely graying here and there, especially around his temples. It made him look a bit older than he was, but Melodia thought he was handsome. He just wasn't Severus.

He had purchased his ranch only three years before the death of Melodia's godparents. He had been very fond of them all. Drake regularly came by to have Melodia accompany him on long horseback rides in the spring and summer. She was always happy to go, but they were nothing more than rides, at least to her. She simply found him charming and enjoyed the riding time.

Marcus and Shelby used to tease her about his apparent affections for her, but she only laughed and passed it off as a joke. They never knew that he had actually admitted once that he cared for her. It was just two summers ago, on a day much like today. He had finally asked her out on an official date, claiming to be falling in love with her.

Although very touched by his confession and flattered by his attention, she was not at all interested. In the most polite way she knew how, she "regrettably declined." Her excuse was that she would be returning home to Europe soon, and that a long distance romance would never work out. He was disappointed of course, but she knew that he would not stay away because of that. Melodia was relieved that he did not become angry and resentful. It was not in his character to behave that way.

There was a new issue now, though. She would have to find a way to keep him clear of the house now that the Order's headquarters was located here. She hated to hurt him, but it was Severus she loved and no one else. It would never do to have him show up for tea in the middle of a meeting of The Order.

"Hello, Drake!" she called to him. He jumped the fence of the pasture and road toward her, stopping Rusty just inside the fence gate before dismounting. He climbed up, hopped over the top of the fence post and removed his riding gloves.

"Gotta hug for your favorite neighbor, Doll?"

She cringed at that pet name. She didn't know why, but for some reason, it made her almost ill. She smiled crookedly, however, and briefly embraced him. He was very tall, so she had to stand on her tiptoes to reach around his neck. Just like Shaggy, she thought, then quickly refocused on her visitor.

They talked and laughed under the shade of the large oak tree that adorned the area near the pasture gate. It was good to see him again.

Meanwhile, Severus had given Dumbledore his potion and came into the kitchen looking for her. He was hoping to continue their earlier conversation when he noticed that the kitchen was immaculately clean. For reasons he didn't know, he walked over to the grand picture window and looked out toward the stables.

At first he saw only Melodia standing under the massive oak tree, but as he opened the back door, intending to join her, he spotted Drake leaning against the fence in front of her.

Who the bloody hell is that? he thought to himself as he witnessed her hugging this man and smiling. Severus first thought that he looked almost old enough to be her father, but at second glance could tell he really was not. There was suddenly a knot in his stomach that began to ache. He had never experienced this feeling before, but he absently passed it off as indigestion of the fatty bacon he had eaten earlier.

Suddenly this man held his arm out for her as if begging her to take it. And she did. They started walking slowly toward the house.

"Dear God! Why is she bringing that despicable Muggle man up here?" he swore aloud.

Quickly, he ducked and made his escape into the foyer. He intended to stay out of sight, yet keep an eye on them all the same. He heard Melodia's voice getting closer, so he crept carefully back to the kitchen door to listen. Her laughter rang out as she opened the patio door and entered.

"Oh, Drake, really!" she teased him. "You really are quite a card!"

Then she called to him, "You stay there, and I will fetch our tea. It is much too nice a day to stay indoors, so we will have our tea here in the garden."

So that was it. She is actually going to entertain this Muggle! he thought sourly to himself. She was even brewing tea for him!

Suddenly, the knot in his stomach seemed to be tighter and larger than ever, but he was determined to ignore it. His distress turned to mild delight as he saw her use magic to conjure a pot of tea. He hatefully wished that this man would catch her in the act of performing magic. Perhaps then, he will run screaming back to wherever the hell he came from, Severus mused. His lips turned up into a slight sneer as he imagined it.

He remained by the door in the foyer until he saw her go back through the patio door with a pot of steaming tea, two cups, and a few cookies on her service tray. He made sure that she was seated before he slipped further into the kitchen to get a better view of them.

He had positioned himself in such a way that he could hear almost all of their conversation. All they did was make absurdly boring small talk and exchanged mildly flirtatious smiles. This was excruciating. For some reason, however, he could not tear himself away from spying on them.

His boredom quickly halted when he saw Drake lift Melodia's hand to his lips and kiss it adoringly. His face became flushed and the knot in his stomach felt as if it were a chunk of lead. Still, he watched them, and to his dismay, Drake leaned in and kissed her briefly, yet lovingly, on the corner of her mouth as she laughed at another of his ghastly jokes.

Before Severus realized it, he was trembling, wand in hand and ready to curse that wretched Muggle for his obscene lack of physical control. That's what he should do. He needed to hex this Muggle mongrel into the next millennium!

At last he had witnessed enough. He was fighting the urge to curse this man that he didn't even know.

Of course! Why not draw a bit of unnecessary attention to yourself, old boy! he thought bitterly, as he stuck his wand back into his robes and slipped stealthily out of the kitchen and up the stairs to his room.

What Melodia did not know, is that sitting in his room was the man she had been crying over only moments before.

Severus sat on the side of his own large bed. His mind was replaying the horrid scene he had witnessed with Melodia and her Muggle companion.

Frustrated with himself, he sat staring at the wall. His eyes sparkled and grew very dark. They were almost black with fury. He couldn't stand the way she acted around that man, but he despised himself for thinking it.

"Bloody Hell! What is wrong with you? his inner voice nagged. So what are you gonna do now? Deny that you are capable of caring for her that way? If so, do you realize that you are taking the chance of her moving on with someone else? The thought of Loddie in the arms, or in the bed, of another man infuriated him further. Especially, if the man were the old Muggle from the patio.

His fists were clenched at his sides as he rose to his feet, still glaring placidly at the wall opposite him. He had never faced this issue before, but he knew that he needed to do something. He wrestled inwardly with just what the appropriate thing would be.