Twenty

Hermione spent much of the rest of the day with Ginny. She had not realised what an immense relief it would be to confide in someone, someone whom she was almost surprised to find so accepting and understanding of her situation and who it involved. She knew Ginny was a true friend, but her acceptance of her and Severus gave the relationship a viability hitherto unforeseen.

However, as the day wore on, she had been unable to see him, and she felt that familiar ache of longing and need inside. It wasn't just a physical urgency; she simply missed him ― missed his presence, his conversation, his quiet intelligence and the obvious pleasure he derived from her. Although they had been parted for only a few hours, each minute away seemed to drag on endlessly. It had never been this way with Ron. It was an unfamiliar feeling to her; but still she recognised what it was, and at last admitted it to herself.

She was in love.

In the afternoon, just before supper, she and Ginny went for a walk in the grounds. They walked quietly for a while, content with the secret they shared.

"Do you mind me asking – when was the first time you ... you know ...?"

Hermione smiled. "It was all pretty weird to start with. We had sort of crept towards each other over a few days. Not long really, but it seemed ages in my mind. I could tell he felt something and I confess, I had never felt such physical longing. I thought I would die if I didn't ..." she blushed and paused.

"Go on ... it's alright ... I don't mind ..." Ginny was genuine and kind.

"One night I followed him up onto the castle ramparts. He seemed so desolate, so broken. I couldn't stand it. I just wanted to draw him into me ― give him all I could, but he was so closed up, so hard and impenetrable – I thought I had been deceived. I could not see how he would ever come to me. But then, as I was walking away, he pulled me back so hard and ... that was our first kiss. It was searing – it burned itself onto me... but then he ran off, left me. He was so scared, so fragile... he went away for a few days after that, then when he returned I went up to him after class. I thought for a moment that was it. As ever, he gave little away, but then suddenly..." she glanced up at Ginny.

Ginny's eyebrows rose in expectation.

"He... he just... we just... did it... right there, on his desk. It was... extraordinary. He was... so desperate, so needy, but... it was over before I realised... But just to have him... god, I was ecstatic. He had taken that first step and at that point I didn't care how it had happened. I've never known such erotic need and tension. I just... I just loved it."

Ginny was clearly surprised. "Did he force himself on you?"

"God, no! I mean – it was quite brutal, but believe me... I was more than willing."

Ginny didn't seem convinced. "Hermione! You can't let a man treat you like that."

Hermione glanced at her friend and suddenly felt shame. She had not questioned the incident. Should she have? There had been other moments too. But Hermione knew she had no reason to doubt the need behind them. She was willing to accept his wounds and scars, the emotional ones as manifold as the physical ones which tormented his flesh. "But – that's what has to be done. He has never abused me in that way. I wouldn't call it forcing himself on me, but I cannot deny the urgency and desperation of it – in both of us. We've both ... been through so much, Ginny. If I can help... heal... appease... whatever the word is... then I will."

Ginny looked at her for a while quietly. "Talk about baggage, Hermione! Boy, does that man have baggage!"

Hermione laughed a little. "Yes, but at least it doesn't come in the shape of a wife and kids – that's something, I guess. And he has his rather ... romantic moments too, believe it or not. And, with regard to ― you know what ― the tender moments are... pretty bloody good too. I hate it when we can't spend the night together. He has this little bedroom, with a pathetic single bed, but... I love it, I love being there with him."

Ginny lowered her head and laughed a bittersweet laugh. "I still can't quite believe we're talking about Professor Snape here."

Hermione joined her in laughter. "You know, I'm not sure I can either half the time. I think if I stopped and thought about it..."

"What?"

She shook her head. "No. No, I wouldn't. This is what I want. After I leave – I want us to carry on – we must. You asked me earlier, Ginny – do I love him." She turned to fix her friend with her eyes, tears forming in them. "Yes – I think I do."

They looked at each other solemnly before Ginny took her hand and broke the silence. "And he, Hermione... Does he love you?"

She lowered her head and answered truthfully, "I don't know."

Ginny held her hand tight and squeezed it. "This isn't the most natural relationship in the world, Hermione. It won't be easy. I don't want you to get hurt. But, I respect your wishes, and I am here for you."

Hermione smiled up at her friend. "I know. I know and I thank you. It's so wonderful to have someone to talk to about this." She turned and looked out towards the distant hills. "I haven't seen him all day. I... really miss him."

"Then you should go to him."

Hermione turned to her in surprise. Ginny was smiling gently at her.

"I will... after supper."

"Will you tell him I know?"

A sudden fear took grip of Hermione. Surely he would be appalled that anyone knew? She searched Ginny's eyes for reassurance. "I don't think I can ... do you?"

Ginny shrugged. "You must do what you think best."

The answer was about to present itself to them. As the two young women walked back into the castle, they turned a corner and came face to face with Severus Snape.

He had looked morose, pacing the halls, but on seeing Hermione his face brightened considerably, as if he had found what he was looking for. However, the expression of gloom descended instantly again as he realised she was with Ginny.

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Hermione was ecstatic to see him, and could hardly keep herself from jumping into his arms right there and then.

"Professor Snape! How lovely to see you!"

Snape looked aghast at her exclamation, but Hermione could not completely remove the smile from her face.

They stood there in silence for a moment. To the casual observer, there was no reason why the professor and his two students should feel the need not to greet each other politely and move on. But no-one moved. Hermione and Snape could not take their eyes from each other and Ginny stood, glancing from one to the other. It was clear they both desperately wanted to be alone together, but she could think of no obvious way of excusing herself and leaving them.

"Uhh... right... ooh... I said I'd meet Rose at five. I'd forgotten all about it. I'd better go. See you later then, Hermione! Bye, Professor Snape." She sounded ridiculously cheerful.

When her footsteps had faded away, Snape's face withered. "She knows."

"Yes."

His breathing became rapid and heavy and his eyes moved from hers, staring at a point on the ground.

"How?" His voice was icy. A feeling of dread overcame Hermione.

"She found out by herself. She had... the Marauder's Map. She was only using it innocently, to find me for something... and... I was with you." She glanced at him. His eyes closed in bitter defeat.

"The map ... Even now... after all this time... still they torment me."

His words pierced her. Again, he looked defeated, but his anger seemed to have subsided somewhat.

"Severus, it doesn't matter. I promise you she won't tell a soul. She has sworn it herself, but she didn't need to. She is a wonderful person. I trust her completely."

"She is a Weasley." He was still unsure, but had settled.

"She's not like the boys. To be honest, it's quite a relief. I think, actually, she may make things easier for us."

He stared at her. She could not read his expression, but he seemed remarkably calm. "Perhaps you are right."

His sudden words surprised and delighted her. "You can assure me of her complete discretion?" He stared intently at her.

"Of course. She's my dearest friend. And she... wasn't that surprised, you know. She understands."

"Hmm."

He seemed deep in thought. She searched him out for a while, touched by his quick acceptance of Ginny. It seemed to be a further indication of his feelings.

"What are you thinking?" she inquired gently.

His eyes at last moved up to hers. "That I want to be inside you."

Hermione's breathing immediately hitched. Ginny was forgotten, anxiety was forgotten. They would have to have each other immediately.

They were in a dim corridor leading out of the castle, but people passed by frequently. There seemed no obvious place to go, but their need was so great that they had to move or they would end up on the floor together. Hermione walked off first, but he caught her hand as she passed and let himself be pulled along. They turned a corner into a side passage leading to a store cupboard. It led round one more corner, so they were out of sight of the main corridor but little else. Immediately, he had sunk to his knees. She stared down at him, her belly twisting, crying out its need. His hands released the clasp on her skirt, letting it fall to the ground. She was wearing no underwear.

Snape glanced up, his face deathly serious. She willed him towards her aching sex, spreading her legs wide for him, but instead he drawled up in his most tormenting way, "Incomplete uniform, Miss Granger. Ten points from Gryffindor." With that his mouth pulled up in the merest hint of a smirk and he plunged his tongue deep into her pussy.

Hermione bit down hard on her lip and reached down to clasp the top of his head. She guided him, although he did not need it, pushing him hard against her. He was like a man who had not drunk for a hundred years, feeding off her. His longing to taste and drink her in was overwhelming, and the knowledge of it was almost as pleasurable as the feel of his mouth on her clit. He encircled it fully, sucking hard, his tongue flicking fast, before dipping back to her snatch to catch more of her juices.

Hermione moaned her delight to him. "Oh god, oh god, Severus. God, I can't do without you. Please don't stop... don't ever stop... oh yes! There... yes... that's it... yes... oh fuck... so good... it's so unbelievably good. Harder, suck me harder, lick me... there... there.... yes... oh god..." She was sobbing. Despite her nearly incoherent stream of consciousness, he did everything she wanted. Her muscles were primed, the pleasure reined in on them, ready for release. He had two, maybe three fingers deep inside her, strumming, stroking. She clamped around them and bent her knees to sink yet further onto him. He sucked. She came hard.

One hand involuntarily threw itself off his head to hit the wall high above her. She groaned long and low as her body twitched and spasmed.

Before she could fully recover, he had pulled her down and spun her round onto her knees before him. She hardly had time to register her position on all fours, when he plunged hard and full into her.

She cried out yet again with deepest pleasure. "Yes! More... harder... harder, my darling... I need it... I need you."

She felt his cock swell even more with her words and he moved frantically, plunging hard and fast over and over and over again.

Severus stroked along her more frantically than she could ever recall. But it did not affect the skill with which he drew her pleasure from her. Despite her orgasm of only a few minutes before, she could feel her body fast preparing for another surge of ecstasy. He was pulling out fully before clasping her hips hard and thrusting brutally in to the hilt. The emptiness she felt when he withdrew made the pleasure of his rigid cock filling her again instantly even more palpable. He seemed larger than ever before. She groaned loudly into the air around them, almost sobbing with delight. He swelled yet further, his own groans more desperate than ever.

"Again, witch... say it again."

She almost did not recognise the voice as his, so rare was it to hear him speak during sex. But she could only do as he bid.

"Severus... I need you... you know I do... I need you always... don't stop... please, my darling... don't stop."

He plunged ever harder. He was moaning incoherently, but she heard words formed deep in his psyche manifesting themselves in the air around them. "No... can't... I can't stop... need you... I need you too... it is you..." He groaned loudly, his head falling back. "It was you..." With a final guttural cry, he came frantically up into her, digging his fingers into her hips and pushing himself so hard against her, she fell forwards onto the floor. The feel of his hardness in her, and the hard, cold stone beneath her translated as pure sensation. The sound of the rapture she had brought from him pushed her over the edge and pleasure ripped its way through her body as he collapsed on top of her, the last bursts of his cum torn from his cock. She could not move, and her ecstasy had no outlet but to heave its way in concentration through her prone body over and over again. At that moment his hand came up to clasp over her mouth, stifling her scream. It was just recognisable as a scream of his name. Her next words were muffled completely against his hand. He did not hear them.

Severus lay on top of her, panting heavily. He knew he must be hurting her, but knew also that she would be revelling in it. Moving her hair slightly to the side, he whispered into her ear, his voice heavy and low with fulfilment. "Even now, I can still feel your pleasure tight around me..." Her muscles confirmed it by pulsing once more onto him. He grunted, his fingers clenching on her. "There... do you feel that... do feel me within you still... tell me I must remain there... tell me I must remain..." He groaned again as her walls continued to hold him tight.

"Yes... always... always... don't leave me..."

He had never been so vocal, during or after sex, and his sudden candour and display of emotion thrilled but unnerved her equally, but she could speak only her own truth.

Then just as unexpectedly as his declaration of need had come, he pulled out abruptly, leaving her lying limp on the cold stone beneath him. She managed to turn herself over to look up at him, bewilderment etched on her features. He was tidying himself and doing up his clothing almost clinically. Despite his extraordinary words, his face had regained its impassivity, and she thought he would leave her there, her moist legs splayed open, her skirt lying in a heap to one side. But just as he seemed about to walk off, he smoothly extended a hand down to her. She stared at it momentarily, then reached up to it. He held it tight, and pulled her to her feet. She fell against him.

Hermione stared into his eyes, her bewilderment clear. She assumed they must go, return to normal life, but as she tried to walk away she found his hand gripping her still. He pulled her back, and rested his head on her forehead.

"Don't go. You can't go."

Hermione's hand came up to stroke his face. Softly and tenderly, she brought him down to her and kissed him, gently at first, her tongue slipping in to reassure and confirm her need.

There they remained for some time, the minutes sliding away, their bodies pressed hard against each other, the affirming physicality of each other comforting and arousing equally.

And again she needed him, not the mad plundering possession of her body he had demonstrated earlier, but she needed him inside her. Her hand dragged down and cupped between his legs, finding him thankfully once again hard and urgent. "Again... again... you must... please... come into me again... please." The last word was such a desperate plea she joined it with a gasping sob of need.

It took only a moment for him to release his cock, and reaching one hand under her backside, he lowered himself down a little, then pushed hard up into her, jolting her up the wall. She cried out once again in triumph. His groan mimicked her own.

At first they did not move, merely gazed into the other's eyes. The unreadable look she had seen only moments before had been replaced by a deep glow of completion.

"Better," he groaned out. It was not a question.

She felt him throb within her and knew he would have to move. His eyes burned ever more ardently and he started to raise and lower himself slowly but assuredly. One of his hands came up, forcing its way into her shirt, breaking a button off in the process. He pulled the breast out of her bra and pinched the already taut nipple hard, plying the downy flesh in his fingers.

She groaned again with agonised delight. So good. The pain at her nipple blended seamlessly with the pleasure his cock wrought from her pussy. He moved as fast as he could now, bringing both of them swiftly towards another mutual release. Their eyes did not move from each other. "Yes... yes... oh god... I'm coming... I'm coming... so good... so good!" She pulsed hard around him, dragging his own pleasure with her. He thrust up again and exploded into her, a guttural cry escaping him.

Hermione still did not take his eyes off him. Severus' face was twisted in an expression of extreme sensation. She had seen that look on his face once before: one night, months before, in the Shrieking Shack. But it was not with pain that his features were contorted now. It was with complete ecstasy.

Their bodies eventually came down, and she exhaled a pleasured laugh, her face breaking into a broad smile. They could no longer stay in the position they were in, and he had to pull out. Hermione grimaced at the loss of him as her body slid down the wall. He looked down, adjusting his clothes and tidying himself. But his haughty position above her was not reflected in his words, which were remarkably gentle and tender.

"That was... you are... exquisite." He paused briefly, a look of wonder in his eyes. "Come to me immediately after supper. I cannot bear to be away from you any longer than necessary."

With that he turned and walked swiftly away, leaving her alone against the wall.

Hermione closed her eyes, her mind replaying all that had just happened. It was unlike anything that had passed between them before. Yes, there had been other times which were as desperate, as furtive, as brutal, and there had been times of tender declarations and deep emotional bonding, but never the two together. Until now. The extent of their connection overwhelmed her.

And his words – his words. They staggered her. His declaration of need, and desire to hear a reciprocation was overwhelming. He had revealed more to her than ever before. As Hermione sat slumped against the wall, she felt her eyes moisten. She was not sure she could fully take in or understand all he had meant. But she knew her love for him had only been strengthened and justified.

It took all her energy to raise herself up and stagger to supper. Severus was not there and she ate quickly, excusing herself as soon as she had finished the main course. She caught Ginny's eye as she hurried from the hall, and the two friends exchanged a brief secret smile.

She hurried to his classroom. It was still early enough for her to have a reason to be in the academic areas should she be caught, but in any case the corridors were deserted.

Entering his classroom without knocking, she found him pacing slightly, his body tense, expectant. He rushed to her as soon as she was inside, slamming the door behind her and gathering her up in his arms swiftly. Their mouths immediately met hungrily, and he bore her silently but urgently into his bedroom.

They used magic to rid themselves of their clothes and he plunged into her hard and deep. And there he stayed for most of the night. Even after a climax, he would not leave her, merely stay pressed within, until their lust and need drove him to swell once again, and he would begin his relentless but inevitable strokes, reminding of his presence.

At one moment of quietude, as they lay firmly together, Hermione felt his long, warm fingers running tenderly up her thigh.

"Do you really not mind Ginny knowing about us?"

"Despite her provenance, I have never had a reason to doubt Miss Weasley's integrity and humility. As you say, it may actually make things a little easier."

She smiled gently. "I must say I'm surprised. I thought you'd be livid."

"Hmm." He paused before continuing. He still did not sound entirely certain himself. "And how did she... react to the discovery? Even I know my students well enough to know I am not her favourite teacher."

Hermione smirked. "You weren't exactly my favourite teacher either, you know. In any case, Ginny knows me very well, and, believe it or not, she knows you... she knows what you went through. I think our... need for each other is clear to her."

He looked at her for a while. "And is this ― need ― clear to you?"

"I think I made that abundantly clear this afternoon."

He continued looking at her. His face had never looked so gentle. "Thank you."

She wasn't sure she had heard right. "For what?"

"For letting me breathe again." He kissed her tenderly on the lips, then lay back down, continuing to stroke her leg. Her heart had never been so full.

She asked, softly but inquisitively, "You said something earlier..."

"Hmm?" His fingers were slowing in their caress.

"You said, 'It is me... it was me...' What did you mean by that?" His fingers had stopped. "What was me?"

He took a long while to answer. His breathing was deepening. "I have answered that already." His voice was slow and barely audible. She did not understand him.

"What do you mean?" Hermione waited for a response. She received none. She turned her head slightly towards him. "Severus?"

The only reply was his deep gentle breathing. He was asleep.