Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Severus hurried toward the Owlery, a letter in his hand. It was a letter to his mother. He wrote her every week. He knew if he didn't he would receive a howler exclaiming that she thought he was dead and why hadn't he written her. Every week, Severus dutifully wrote a short note, proclaiming he was still alive and telling her a little about school. Every week she wrote back saying that she hoped he was eating well and not studying too much. It had become a ritual between the two of them. He did enjoy hearing from her, and he knew that she loved receiving letters from him.

Severus quickly ascended the stairs and entered the small, circular room housing the Hogwarts owls. He stopped short when he saw who was there also. Lily turned and gave him a strained smile.

"Sev," she said.

"Lily," Severus greeted back with the same lack of enthusiasm.

They had not spoken all year. Whenever the two of them had passed in the hall, Severus had looked at her, but Lily had always averted her eyes. Severus knew that she wanted nothing to do with him. That was alright. If she were going to be involved with Potter, he really didn't want anything to do with her either. Ignoring Lily, Severus went over to an owl and began to fasten his letter to its foot.

"James told me you beat him in a duel?" Lily asked curiously.

Severus only nodded.

"He wouldn't say why the two of you were dueling. He passed it off as a class thing, but I know you don't share any classes together."

Severus pursed his lips. Should he even get into this with Lily? Obviously Potter did not want her to know that he had been caught in a fight. Severus scowled. If Potter couldn't be truthful with his girlfriend, then he deserved whatever consequences came of that.

"He and his three friends were chasing me and I inadvertently knocked over Professor

Granger. She took us to the DADA room to duel it out."

Lily looked at him in puzzlement. "I thought James didn't bother you anymore."

Severus spared a glance at her, giving her a pathetic look. "Is that what he told you?"

"Well, yes."

"I wonder Lily, if he can't be truthful in that, what else does he hide from you?"

Lily looked at him angrily. "At least he doesn't march around with Death Eaters while my back is turned!"

Severus turned to her in anger, his fists clenched. He looked into her eyes and saw her as he once had, as his love. Then he saw when he had called her 'Mudblood' and the horrified look that had crossed her face. He beat his anger down and turned back to the owl. Making sure that the letter was secure, he sent it flying out the window, telling it where it needed to go. Finally he turned back to Lily, his temper calmed.

"Perhaps I was out of line," he said quietly, "but I assure you, he has not stopped bothering me, no matter what he has told you."

Lily looked as if she was about to say something else when Severus bid her goodbye and stormed out of the Owlery. Lily stared after him in shock. James had lied to her. Suddenly she felt angry. She needed to clear this up with James.

Several minutes later she entered the Gryffindor common room. She was relieved to see James sitting there with Sirius, joking around as he usually did. She marched up to the two of them and looked at James angrily.

"Can I have a word with you, James," she asked him, "in private?"

James looked up at Lily and smiled at her, but his smile quickly disappeared when he noticed that she wasn't smiling back. In fact, she was glowering at him. He stood and motioned to the exit of the common room. They both went out and found a secluded place in the hall to talk.

Lily folded her arms. "I just had a little chat with Severus," she said tersely.

"Did he call you another horrid name?" James asked.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "No, he told me the reason you two dueled the other day."

James looked down.

"I thought you said," Lily went on without preamble, "that you weren't bothering him anymore. Now I find out that wasn't the truth. How am I supposed to trust you, James, when you can't even tell me the truth about something as simple as that?"

James didn't know what to say. How could he tell her that he couldn't help himself? What would she say when she found out that whenever he passed Snivellus, he had this sudden urge to curse him into the wall? She would never understand that. He needed her to love him. He needed her to forgive him. Ultimately, he knew he needed to stop what he was doing to Snivellus so she could trust him, but he wasn't sure if he could control himself. The git was just too easy to torment. And Sirius certainly wasn't any help at all. He was the worst of them all when it came to Snivellus.

James heaved a great sigh. "I can't seem to help myself, Lily. Sirius goads me and I can't help myself. When I told you I wouln't bother him anymore, I fully intended not to bother him anymore. I swear I wasn't trying to lie to you."

Lily gave him an exasperated look. "Why is it so tempting for you to constantly tease him? I thought you were better than that, James. I thought you had grown out of that childish behavior."

"I swear, Lily, this is the last time it will happen."

She rolled her eyes at him. "That's what you said the last time we discussed this. How am I supposed to believe you?"

He smirked at her. "Because I love you."

Lily scoffed. "That's not a reason at all!"

He encircled her waist with his arms. "Of course it is. It won't happen again because I love you too much to upset you again."

Lily's demeanor softened considerably. "All right," she said, "just don't lie to me anymore."

"I won't," he said as his lips came down on hers, conveniently stopping any more of their argument from going forward.

oooOOOooo

At dinner that night, James kept an eye on Severus at the Slytherin table. He needed to straighten out Snivellus' thinking. When Severus was finished and had risen to leave, James excused himself and followed him out. He raced to catch up with him as he descended the stairs to the dungeons.

"Snivellus!" he called after him.

Severus ignored James, but James caught up with him and grabbed his arm. Severus turned and narrowed his eyes at James.

"Keep your mouth shut with Lily, alright?" James said.

"Are your lies coming back to haunt you, Potter?" Severus said snidely.

"Just stay away from her. She's happier without you."

Severus sneered at him. "I don't doubt it," he shot back and pulled his arm from James' grasp.

Without another word, Severus descended the stairs, not giving James another glance. He fumed as he ran down the stairs. The nerve of that cretin! He should take care of his own business, and then he wouldn't need to make excuses to Lily for his behavior. Why did Lily believe him? She never had before. Had Severus' actions two years ago driven her into Potter's arms? If they had, then he was even sorrier than he had been before. Lily, of course, could make her own decisions, but she deserved much better than Potter.

Potter's words ran through Severus' mind again.

"She's happier without you."

Severus grimaced. Of course she was happier without him. Everyone was happier without him. He was nothing but trouble. Now he was involved with something dangerous too.

His mind went to Hermione. She would be happier without him also. He knew that she understood that deep down. That was probably why she didn't want to have any kind of relationship with him other than friendship. Who would want to be involved with him when his life had become so complicated?

"She's happier without you."

Undoubtedly, Hermione would be too.

oooOOOooo

Severus, Hermione, Lucius, and Peter all sat in the Arithmancy classroom. Severus and Peter were sharing a table. They were bent over a book and Severus was explaining something to Peter. Hermione sat across from Lucius at the next table. She was watching Lucius work through a problem on his own. The tutoring session was going well, except for the fact that Lucius was extremely quiet. One could say he was even sulky. They finished up, and Hermione asked him to stay behind while Severus and Peter made an exit. Hermione went over and sat at her desk, looking over at Lucius, who had settled into the chair across from her. He was sullen and staring at the floor. Something was up. It was as if someone else was sitting in front of her.

"What's wrong, Mr. Malfoy? You've been extremely quiet tonight."

"It's nothing," he said sullenly.

Hermione frowned. "Lucius, you can tell me what's bothering you. I won't tell a soul."

Lucius studied her for a while and then decided to tell her what was wrong.

"It's my father," he said simply.

Abraxas Malfoy was a stern father. He had a strong sense of propriety and, being pureblood, hated everything about Muggles and their society. Word had gotten back to Abraxas that Hermione Granger, new teaching assistant at Hogwarts, was Muggle-born. His father had exploded upon learning this bit of information.

Hermione raised her eyebrows, signaling for Lucius to continue.

"He found out that you're Muggle-born. He wants me to withdraw from your class. If he knew I was participating in tutoring sessions, he probably would withdraw me from the entire school."

Hermione looked at Lucius with concern. She sat back and folded her arms in front of her.

"So how does that make you feel?"

"I'm angry. How dare he tell me what to study! And what a stupid reason to give up a class! You're one of the best teachers in this school."

Hermione beamed at his compliment. She really did take pride in her teaching.

"What are you going to do then?" she asked after a moment.

"Do I have a choice?" he spat.

Lucius' father was stubborn, indeed. If he wanted to pull his son out of Hogwarts, that would be exactly what he would do, and no one would stop him. He was a very proud man, though. The thought of his son leaving Hogwarts might just be too much scandal for the proud Malfoy name. But Lucius didn't take his father's threat lightly.

Lucius was backed into a corner. He truly wanted to stay in Professor Granger's class, but his father would definitely make that impossible. Lucius was surprised that his father hadn't appealed to the governors to fire Professor Granger instantly. He hoped that she wouldn't ultimately be sacked. Maybe just withdrawing from the class would keep his father quiet, and she could keep teaching.

"Well," Hermione replied thoughtfully. "It seems to me you always have a choice, but are you willing to live with what consequences come with that choice?"

"What do you mean?"

"What would be the consequences of you dropping my class?"

"I wouldn't get an Arithmancy N.E.W.T., I would miss out on your amazing teaching techniques," he paused and smiled at her, "and I may lose out on some job opportunities because I lack the experience necessary."

"Are any of your current job choices wanting an Arithmancy N.E.W.T.?"

He shook his head.

"Then don't count that one. Anything else?"

He shook his head again.

"What would be the consequences of staying in my most amazing class?"

He smiled at her ruefully as he thought. "My father would be mad at me."

"Take that thought to its farthest extent," Hermione said with a movement of her had away from her. "What will your father do if you disobey him?"

Lucius leaned back in his seat and crossed his legs. "He could do many things. Ground me when I'm home, but that's unlikely. He could pull me from the school, but that would probably embarrass our family more than me studying under a Muggle-born witch. I guess ultimately he could disown me as an embarrassment."

"Is that a likely consequence?"

He thought about it. "No, I can't see him doing that in this circumstance. I am an adult after all. He would be very angry with me though. He might not speak to me for a while."

Hermione nodded and told him to go on.

"Well, I would get my N.E.W.T.; that would be a good thing."

Hermione nodded again. "Anything else?"

Lucius thought and thought. He couldn't think of anything else. Finally he looked up at her and told her no.

"Okay, you now have a list of consequences for each of the choices that you have to decide between. Which list is easier for you to handle. In other words, what can you live with?"

"I suppose, ultimately I could live with either of those circumstances."

"Which would you rather live with?" Hermione asked frankly.

Lucius thought. "I would rather have my N.E.W.T. in Arithmancy," he finally said.

"You're willing to deal with the wrath and possible silence of your father to receive your N.E.W.T.?"

He nodded.

"It seems to me, Mr. Malfoy, that you have an owl to send." She smiled at him.

"Thank you, Professor. That was an easier decision than I thought it would be."

"Lucius, I hope you understand your father's point of view. I'm sure he grew up with the same notions you have, that all Muggle-borns are inferior in every way. I've tried to show you that Muggle-born witches and wizards are just like everyone else, but your father has never had the opportunity to see that for himself. I believe that your father would react better to a letter written keeping that in mind."

"I'll remember that, Professor." Lucius stood to leave. "Thank you, Professor. Not just for this, but for showing me that you Muggle-borns aren't that bad. Even Peter's not that bad," he remarked as he turned to leave.

Hermione smiled after him. "You're welcome, Mr. Malfoy," she said as he left the room.

She was surprised to see him pop his head back into the room. "Are you going to the Halloween ball tomorrow night?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm chaperoning. I believe all of the teachers will be there."

He grinned at her. "Did you want to go with me?"

She grinned back at him. "No, Mr. Malfoy, I believe we've already broached this subject before."

"Well, you'll save me a dance, right?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'll think about it."

He nodded to her and disappeared. She gathered up her things and headed out the door herself. That man was incorrigible. At least his flirting had turned into mostly an occasional thing like this. She had finally figured out he was the biggest tease on the entire Earth.

A few minutes later she was in the Room of Requirement. Severus had gone on ahead of her. He looked up as she entered and put her things on the table.

"What did the giant flirt want?"

Hermione laughed as she blushed. "I told him I wouldn't discuss it with anyone. He did ask me to the dance tomorrow."

Severus rolled his eyes. "You didn't punch him, did you?" he asked, hoping beyond hope that she had.

She smiled, thinking of another Malfoy whom she had punched. "No, I'm used to his ridiculous flirting. I just joked along with him. He did commit me to a dance though." She frowned, realizing what she had promised.

Severus raised an eyebrow at her.

"Well, I guess I told him I'd think about it. That's really not a commitment, is it?"

"To Lucius Malfoy, you just told him you'd marry him with that statement."

"Severus, you're terrible."

He nodded and went back to his Potions text.

"You were a bit quiet tonight during the session. Is something wrong?" Hermione asked.

Severus looked into his book crossly. "I was accosted by Potter after dinner."

"What happened?"

Severus sighed. "I suppose I should start at the beginning."

He quickly told Hermione about his encounter with Lily in the Owlery and then James' words after dinner. Hermione pondered what he said.

"It sounds like Lily wasn't too pleased with James."

Severus smiled at that.

Hermione shook her head at Severus and stifled a giggle. He was so predictable sometimes. Then there were other times . . . well, she ought not to think about that!

"The thing that upset me the most," Severus continued, "was when Potter said that Lily was happier without me. I'm sure she is, but it still bothers me."

"Severus, I highly doubt that she's happier without you."

Severus scoffed. "Of course she is. She looks happy as a clam with Potter."

"Well, that may be, but that doesn't mean she doesn't miss your friendship! Severus, quit being so down on yourself. You realize James was just saying that to upset you, don't you?"

"Yes, and he accomplished his goal," he said bitterly. "I don't know what she sees in him!"

Hermione thought about it. "Well, he's good looking, witty, smart, a talented wizard..."

"Don't!"

Hermione looked at Severus in surprise.

"Do not enumerate the good qualities of Potter to me!" he seethed.

Hermione looked duly chastised. "Sorry," she said pathetically. "I wasn't saying that I liked him or anything." She frowned, cradling her head on her hand. "As a matter of fact, I don't like him at all. He's annoying as all get out. It's hard for me to get around the fact that he's Harry's father. Harry is nothing like him."

"So Harry is ugly, dumb, a terrible wizard, and a total killjoy?"

Hermione laughed. "No, he's all of those other things I said before too. I just mean... he cares about people. I don't see that trait in James Potter. James Potter cares about himself and how he appears to others."

Severus pondered that, and he nodded his head to Hermione.

"I don't know, Severus. I just can't see Harry running around throwing hexes at people he doesn't like the way that James does. I certainly wouldn't be friends with him if he did." Hermione was quiet for a minute. "Anyway, we weren't talking about Harry, now were we? Lily seems to be the type of person who values her friendships, Severus. I'm sure some part of her misses the closeness the two of you had."

Severus was quiet for a long while. He missed his relationship with Lily, but after all he had done, he found it hard to believe that Lily could ever miss him. He looked back up at Hermione and realized that she was giving him one of her knowing looks.

"Must you look at me like that?" he said tersely.

She blushed. "Yes, when I can see you berating yourself as you sit there."

"Do I have to use Occlumency when I am in your presence from now on?"

"Severus," Hermione laughed, "I am no Legilimens! It's not my fault that you're easy to read."

"I am not easy to read!"

"So you weren't just thinking that Lily would never miss you because of the way you treated her?"

"I... I... never mind." Severus was blushing now too.

Hermione got up and looked at his face. "Are you blushing?" she asked incredulously.

"No!" Severus said indignantly.

"I never thought I would see the day that I would make you blush! I think this is the greatest day of my entire life!" Hermione gushed, playing it up as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"Hermione," he growled, looking at her moodily.

"What?"

"Do not make fun of me."

"Oh, I would never make fun of you, Severus!" she exclaimed as she put her hand to her chest. "You're too serious to make fun of. I wouldn't want to spoil your sullen, self-berating disposition."

"I do not have a sullen, self-berating disposition."

"Then you shouldn't be beating yourself up over Lily."

Severus knew she had gotten him, but he was not amused. Well, not very amused.

"Very clever, witch," he said finally.

"I have work to do, if you'll excuse me," Hermione said as she went back over to her chair and picked up a quiz to grade.

"You mean that's it? No more clever words or teasing comments?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Severus."

"Uh huh," he said as he nodded at her distrustfully.

Hermione went to work on the quizzes she had to correct, smiling to herself. She finished them quickly and told Severus she was ready. They had planned to brew tonight.

"Are you sure you're capable of brewing seriously?" Severus asked her.

"I always brew seriously," she replied with a grin. "I studied under you."

"Are you making fun of my future teaching techniques now?" Severus asked.

Hermione became serious. "Severus," she said to him, "I have always admired your teaching abilities and brewing abilities. I would never make fun of them. Honestly."

Severus only stared at her. Once again she had confessed her respect for him. Finally he nodded his head to her. She smiled back at him and they headed for the cauldron. It was situated on a large table on the other side of the room. Hermione put a bag on the table and started getting out the things they would need for the potion. Severus had requested the Draught of Peace. She had eagerly agreed and gotten everything they would need. She pulled the ingredients out, along with a small silver knife, a stirrer, and a mortar and pestle.

Severus set out crushing the moonstone while Hermione prepared the cauldron. His voice startled her as he asked a question.

"I was wondering if it would be better to mash the moonstone into power instead of leaving it in crushed form. It might make the draught more potent."

She looked up at him. He was holding the pestle above the mortar hesitantly. Hermione smiled.

"Go ahead and try it. You shouldn't second guess your ideas, Severus. They're always spot on."

She had forgotten how she loved brewing with him. His older self always had some tidbit of information to share. He had divulged only recently that the secret to Draught of Peace was to make the moonstone into powder. He was brilliant in any time, it would seem.

He placed the now powdered moonstone next to the cauldron and picked up the bottle of Syrup of Hellebore. He added fifteen drops to the liquid that was in the cauldron and began to stir it. He stirred twenty times clockwise with two turns counterclockwise. He was poised over the cauldron in much the same pose as she was used to seeing from him in his older form. He hunched over it slightly with one hand carefully guiding the stirrer in its circular pattern. His other arm was elevated and cautiously hung over the cauldron, as if ready to cast a spell over it at any moment. He concentrated as he stirred, and his brows furrowed as he stared into the cauldron. Hermione sat back and watched him work. He was an artist even at this age. She was enjoying herself immensely.

After ten minutes of stirring he added the moonstone. The liquid turned blue and thickened considerably. He gave it five more stirs and set the stirrer down. Only then did he realize Hermione had been staring at him the whole time.

Hermione blushed. "Sorry, I just can't help watching you work. It's completely entrancing."

Severus turned red and looked away. She smiled at him, choosing not to call him on blushing again, and helped him bottle up the potion.

"Madam Pomfrey will be happy we decided to brew tonight. I think her stores of Peace Draught were getting a little low," Hermione remarked.

He nodded and finished filling the last bottle. They packed them into a carton, and Hermione shrunk it to be more manageable.

"So I'll see you tomorrow at the dance then?" Severus asked.

"Yep."

"What are you going as?"

Her eyes twinkled. "You'll see," she said, smiling.

He arched an eyebrow at her as they headed for the door.

A/N: Next up: The Halloween Ball.

Thank you again for reading and all of your lovely reviews! I'm glad you're all enjoying this story so far. The next two chapters will comprise Ball night. You all know that anything can happen at a Ball.