Preparations

2: Preparations

No one saw the black-dressed wizard leaving the house, no one saw him running down the street, and certainly no one saw him Disapparating when he was around the next corner, which was a miracle in itself, as he took absolutely no precautions for not to be seen. In his mind Snape ticked off the few things he would need: the Moonflower potion, naturally, a warm coat, a flask with water, and some bread. I either find him quickly and he will kill me, he thought, or I don't find him and the cold will finish me off. Great opportunities.

Severus Snape was not a man who rushed head over heels into danger. He always thought things through, he always had a backup plan, and he never allowed his emotions to manipulate his brain. Presently, he thought about the potion that hopefully would reverse the changes Lupin already had undergone and how to get close enough to the werewolf for injecting him.

"Why did you do it, idiot?" Snape murmured, arriving with a small 'Plop' in his own street and walking up to his house. "Why you didn't talk to me?"

Well, he knew why. Because of the humiliation the werewolf had felt, mainly since his son had been born. Those looks everyone had cast him; the fear most had felt when he was near. The whispered words which had screamed werewolf! His inability to get a job. His failure to provide his family with food and shelter. Living with a mother-in-law who despised him had changed him; Snape knew that Lupin more often than not actually believed that he was a monster, not a loving husband and father.

Embarrassment at all of this had prevented Lupin from talking to Snape, although the Potions master knew him well. Ginny had been right – the temptation to flee from his unbearable life must have been enormous. Becoming wild, leaving the human world for good, might have been enticing enough for Remus.

The first step had been not taking the Wolfsbane and becoming a wolf at least once a month.

The next logical step was to become a wolf on a full-time basis.

Snape shook his head in disgust. Lupin wouldn't have done it, under no circumstances what so ever. This explanation was too easy and therefore wrong. Remus would never endanger his family, and a wild werewolf was not only dangerous, but mad as well. He would slaughter his own family first. Remus knew that, so there was way he could have chosen this path.

Snape murmured some words and thus lowered the wards around his house; the door opened at a snap of his fingers. He didn't have much time.

Looking into the darkness, he remembered how and why he and Lupin had become friends against all odds.

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About a year after Voldemort's death, Remus showed up in Hogwarts' dungeons in the afternoon instead of late evening. He looked even more shabby than usual. His brown hair was streaked with grey, he looked tired, and there was a gaze in his eyes even Snape couldn't ignore. Haunted and scared, Snape thought, and wordlessly opened the door to his private rooms wider.

Later, they had dinner together, and this time, Lupin was less angry when the moon turned his skin into fur.

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Over the months, over the next few years, they had become friends, unnoticed by most people. Only Albus seemed to have known about it, given the harsh words he had cast at Potter. Possibly the first time that he has scolded the boy, Snape thought, still standing in the doorframe of his house. But then – did it matter? His only friend apart from an old, manipulative bastard with twinkling eyes had decided to throw the bit of life he still had away, and Snape simply refused to accept that. And as Lupin wouldn't risk the safety of his family, the werewolf had another reason for his decision than simply despising his life.

Snape knew Tonks. She didn't make false accusations, and she knew her husband well. If she said he'd gone wild, she was probably right.

That left only one explanation: Lupin wanted to commit suicide in a quite unique way – by getting killed by the Ministry. They wouldn't hunt down a normal werewolf, especially as Lupin's role during the war was common knowledge and because everyone knew he took Wolfsbane. But a wild werewolf was a different matter. They would find him, corner him, and kill him.

And of course the Ministry would look after his widow and his son afterwards. No more financial problems. Tonks would be able to move into her own house, far away from her mother who told her son what a monster his father was.

That was a temptation Lupin quite possibly hadn't been able to resist.

Snape was certain that he was right. It meant as well that there might be a piece of humanity left in the werewolf – enough to allow a friend to come close without killing him immediately.

If he was right, they both might survive the night. If Snape was fast enough and found Lupin in time. If not, good riddance to me, he thought and headed for his workroom.

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His house was cold and dark, and Snape swore under his breath until he had cast Lumos. As soon as he had some light, he went to get the potion he had brewed for Lupin years ago. Despite the fact that he had been shocked at Dumbledore's words, he had expected Lupin to do something stupid – living with Andromeda Tonks would drive any man into suicide. And Lupin was a gentle character, mild, friendly, and incapable of cruelty. He was no match for his mother-in-law, but couldn't afford to move out of her house.

Snape pocketed the phial with the potion and snatched up a syringe from his worktable.

The Moonflower potion; the cure for a wild werewolf, if the tales were correct. Snape had found the recipe in an ancient book from Hogwarts' Restricted Section in the library and had of course no idea if it would work. And there was the other major problem as well: he would have to inject it into Lupin's body whilst the werewolf was awake, free, and neither stunned nor sedated.

Naturally, that was impossible. A wild werewolf was, per definition, wild.

Ah, well, he would think about it when it was time. When he had found Lupin.

His chances to be successful, to save the werewolf without dying himself, were about one to a million, positively figured.

Snape shrugged his shoulders and left his house and went to tell Tonks what he planned to do.

"You can't be serious!"

"I most certainly am."

"But... he will kill you!" Tonks's face was white, so was her hair. Somewhere in the back of the house little Teddy whined for his father to come home. "I know him – he has changed in a way you can't imagine. When he left today, he was not himself anymore!"

Snape looked at the young witch thoughtfully and had to admit that Lupin had chosen wise when he had taken her for his wife. She was obviously very much in love with him and didn't care about the fact that her husband walked on all fours once a month.

Now, his friend's wife looked at Snape with tears in her eyes. She was very clearly devastated by the fact that her husband had decided that living as a wolf was better than living with her. And of course she knew that he was as good as dead as soon as the Ministry sent the hunters. No one cared much about werewolves; they would always rather kill the creature than try something utterly mad. Even if the werewolf in question was a war hero.

But she hadn't had a choice. If Remus killed someone... if he came back to kill her and Teddy...

From the kitchen came the voice of a woman, loudly complaining about her worthless son-in-law.

Tonks cringed at the words and the voice. Apparently, she wasn't happy about living with her mother, either. Equally apparently, neither she nor Remus had been able talk some gentleness into the old woman.

Snape, who disliked body-contact under normal circumstances, took Tonks gently by the shoulders and pushed her backwards until she sat on the couch.

Then he went into the kitchen. Andromeda Tonks sat at the table, watching little Teddy eating his dinner. Fish fingers and mashed potatoes – the boy made a mess of his food, mainly because he was confused at the bitter words pouring out of his grandmother's mouth. With big eyes he stared at her and missed his mouth nearly every time he tried to put something in.

Andromeda was muttering the nastiest swearwords in one constant flow. Only when she saw Snape, her mouth clamped shut audibly.

The Potions master placed his hands right in front of her on the smooth surface of the table, blocking the boy's sight to his grandmother, and murmured, "If you ever insult Remus again, if you ever say anything that as much as indicates you don't like him where his son can hear it, I will personally mix a nice, tasteless and colourless potion in your tea that will make you wish you were never born. Did I make myself clear?"

Andromeda Tonks blanched and stared at the tall, dark man with hateful eyes. "You can't talk to me like that in my own house," she hissed, but moved back a bit in her chair to get some distance between herself and the Potions master. "That worth..." She flinched at the look in Snape's eyes and began anew. "He's a werewolf. Filthy. Dangerous. He will come back to kill us. I told Nymphadora that if she won't tell Dumbledore, I would go to the Ministry myself. She didn't want to, but I forced her. And I... I can call him whatever I want. No one cares anyway."

Snape lowered his head a bit and was now only a few inches away from the woman's ear. For someone outside, who could neither hear the words spoken nor the cold hate in the man's voice, it might have looked as if Snape was about to kiss her cheek. "Your daughter cares, which should be enough for you to hold your tongue," he whispered. "But on top of it, I care. Remus is one of the very few friends I have. I will go after him, and I will bring him back. And you know he would never harm his boy. So do you really think you should mess with me?" Straightening, he turned and left the kitchen, leaving Tonks's mum speechless and a good deal more frightened than a few minutes ago. Absent-mindedly, he tousled Teddy's hair on his way out. The boy smiled at him with big, sleepy eyes and managed to eat a fish finger without smearing it into his hair.

Tonks was still sitting on the sofa, but her eyes were dry. Red-rimmed and sore, but no tears were flowing. "I apologise for my mother. She's... worried about us. I know she dislikes Remus...

"You will move as soon as possible," Snape interrupted her. "Living under her roof is bad for you, for Remus, and for your child. Do you not know this?"

She blushed. "Of course. But we simply can't afford..."

"When he's back home, you can discuss the financial side of this. First, you need to tell me where he is."

"You can't go after him," she exclaimed. "I love him, but I will not tell you where he is, I can't allow you..."

"You do know that it's too early, don't you?" Snape interrupted her once more. "One day too soon for any intelligent, determined werewolf to go wild. One day too early for the transformation – he is in a half man, half wolf state, and I agree that he is dangerous, but he is not yet fully wild. If you tell me where he is, I can find him. If you tell me where he is hiding, I will inject him with the antidote and bring him back to you and your son."

Tonks stared at him. "What do you mean, too early?" she whispered. "An antidote? A werewolf goes wild whenever he feels like it. It's the one thing they can do without the moon. And the only thing that can be done is... killing him!"

A quick glance at the big clock at the wall told Snape that it was time for him to go. Still, it was necessary to calm the woman, Remus's woman, so she would tell him where her husband could be found. "I spent many a night with Remus," he said as gently as possible. "He... needed someone to talk to, and he told me a lot about being a werewolf. He told me as well about the wild ones, and I know that it is too early for the change."

Ah yes; now he had her full attention. "He is not fully transformed yet," he assured Tonks, and as expected, she was confused by his words. "It needs the light of the full moon to make him entirely wild; until then, there is some of his humanity left in him, which is the reason why no werewolf who really and earnestly has decided to go wild will change as much as an hour before the full moon is up – too risky that someone interferes."

"But... but the full moon is tomorrow!"

Snape sighed. "Correct. And therefore, he is vulnerable in this half state. He doesn't want to get wild, he wants to get killed. Is his way to free you. Idiotic, of course."

Tonks's eyes narrowed at Snape's words. "Kill himself? He wants the Ministry to hunt him down so I get a widow's pension?" She sounded incredulous and relieved as well.

"Yes."

"He's such an idiot!" Tonks exclaimed, and her hair turned from white to a furious red. "I will kill him for that! How can he... How dare he to make such a decision!" She fished for a tissue and loudly blew her nose. Now that she had an explanation she understood and could accept, her brain began to work again. "What about the Ministry? Are they already hunting him? And that potion you spoke about... do you have it? Can it really save him?"

Goodness, thought Snape. It is never a good idea to give people hope – they will cling to it even if they have no reason to. He was pretty certain that, despite his words, he didn't have a chance to even find Lupin, lest to get close enough for applying the potion. But aloud he just said, "I was able to persuade Albus to give me until tomorrow night to find him. And of course I have the potion. So tell me where he is."

Tonks was quiet for a few long moments. In her face Snape could easily see the fear she felt and the hope he had given her. "He is in the Sherwood," she said.

"Thank you." Snape slightly bowed his head. "You will learn if I have been able to find him tomorrow night; if I don't contact you, you can assume that I was not successful." Quietly, he closed the door behind him and Disapparated, heading for the big forest north of Lupin's house.