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HARRY POTTER FANFICTION > Potions Under Duress
TPP Challenges > Saturday Night Drabbles
Characters: Crookshanks, Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Severus Snape
Genre(s): Drabble/100-Word, Epilogue, What Epilogue?, Humor, Romance
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“But, Hermione, I just know the agency would be a success if Crooksie were signed up! Who wouldn’t want their familiar to have a connection to a war hero? Please?”
Shaking her head in bemusement, Hermione asked, “But I don’t understand how you’re going to go about matching familiars with one another, Luna. It’s not like you can have them fill out a questionnaire.”
“Well, obviously, their humans will have to answer the questions on their behalf. You would do that for Crookshanks, wouldn’t you? To ensure his happiness in his golden years?”
“Well…” Hermione was reluctant. How would the familiars get time together, anyway? And what if matched familiars had humans who hated each other? Still, she didn’t want to hurt Luna’s feelings. “All right, I guess I could do that.”
Luna smiled and handed her a thick sheaf of parchments. “Great! I knew I could count on you! I’ll just leave these with you. You can come to dinner tonight with Harry and me, and bring them with you then.”
“Of course I’m not signing my Lilliana up for Familiar Familiars, Miss Lovegood.” He absently stroked the silky coat of the purring half-Kneazle who was ensconced on his lap. He didn’t seem to mind the way the orange fur stood out on his black robes. “Lilliana does not need feline companionship. She hoodwinked me into caring for her, so she can just live with the fact that I’d rather be alone than spend time with idiots and sycophants.”
Luna sighed. “I’m sorry, Professor Snape, but you give me no choice. I’m calling in your Life Debt. Fill out this questionnaire and be supportive of whatever match we find for Lilliana, and the Debt will be satisfied.” She held out a sheaf of parchments.
“You cannot possibly mean to call in your Life Debt for such… such insanity as this!”
“Of course I can,” Luna said matter-of-factly. “In fact, I just did. Now, then, you can send it back by owl. Shall I expect it tomorrow?”
Snape stared at her, trying to find a way out, but nothing came to mind. “Fine,” he ground out through clenched teeth. “I may as well get this over with. But if Lilliana doesn’t take to the first mate you present her with, my Life Debt is still paid.”
“Of course, Professor. Don’t worry, she’ll love him,” Luna said, her tone and expression both perfectly serene.
Two days later, Hermione and Crookshanks waited with Luna in the Hogsmeade square. “Is this person even coming?” Hermione asked impatiently. “We’ve been waiting twenty minutes already, and I have work to—”
“Here he is now, with his lovely Lilliana.”
Luna said, “Well, I think we should leave Lilliana and Crooksie to get to know one another, don’t you? Perhaps we should—”
“We can’t just leave them here!” Hermione protested.
“I won’t leave Lilliana with that ginger menace,” Snape added.
“Hey! Your familiar is just as ginger as Crookshanks!”
“But she’s not a menace.”
Hermione rolled her eyes. “Well, she seems to like him just fine, doesn’t she?”
Glancing over, he saw his traitorous feline rubbing noses with Granger’s tom.
He grumbled, “I suppose we may as well get comfortable.” He gestured toward a nearby bench.
After an awkward silence, Hermione asked, “So, Professor, what have you been doing with yourself since…?”
“Since I recovered?” he asked. “I’ve got an owl-order apothecary. And you may as well call me Severus. It appears we’re going to be seeing a lot of one another.” He glared at Lilliana before adding, “What about you? Still saving the world?”
Hermione laughed. “Not as such, no. Hung up my superpowers when the war ended.”
Luna smiled fondly at the pair of them before slipping quietly away.
Six months later…
“A toast! To Luna Lovegood – if she hadn’t been determined to match Severus and Hermione’s familiars, we wouldn’t be here celebrating their engagement!”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Harry,” Luna said, smiling happily. “Matching familiars was never the point!”
A/N: Written in response to MuseAmusant’s SND prompt no. 3: Luna Lovegood opens a matchmaking agency for familiars. Crookshanks is her very first victim, er... candidate. Coincidentally, the owner of Crooksie's ideal mate proves to be remarkably well-suited to Hermione as well.
And thanks to Muse for the beta read!
Familiar Familiars by linlawless
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The Patronus skin was created especially for The Petulant Poetess by TarahFae.