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Remus walked into the gloomy owl office on the last Hogsmeade weekend of the school year. One round desk was lit by the skylight above, and here – besides dozens of post owls – stood the building’s only other occupant.
“Get out, Lupin,” growled Snape.
“It’s a public building, Snape,” replied Remus easily.
“Out, or I’ll hex your bollocks off!” Snape seemed ready to shove him bodily out the door.
“What the hell, Snape? You can’t just …” Remus followed Snape’s gaze upward and saw a tawny owl swoop inside. Clenched in its claws was a bright red envelope. The owl landed and ostentatiously stuck out a foot.
At the look on Snape’s face, Remus clumsily warded the office door. “Better get it over with,” he said bracingly.
The packet flew open and a slurred male voice shouted them down.
SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE, YE’ MANKY GOOD-FER-NOTHIN’!
Both boys clapped their hands over their ears. Every owl screeched horribly and made a break for the skylight. The resulting owl-scrum blocked all the light.
I’LL HAVE YER GUTS ON A STICK IF YE’ PUT ANOTHER FUCKIN TOE OUT O’ LINE AT THA’ PONCY SCHOOL. I’LL TAKE A SWITCH TO YE’ EVEN IF I HAVE TO COME TO SCOTLAND MYSELF!
In the silence, Remus’s ears rang painfully. He lifted his eyes, expecting the worst. But to Remus’s surprise, Snape confessed.
“My parents had to pay damages yesterday. I knew he’d send a Howler, so I bribed our owl to meet me here. Fewer witnesses.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” Remus swore.
“You better not, or I’ll hex your bollocks off.”
“You said that before,” smiled Remus. “Look, it’s raining feathers. Let’s transfigure them into owls now that you lost Hogsmeade all theirs.”
Snape turned away, but not before Remus caught his smirk.
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The Patronus skin was created especially for The Petulant Poetess by TarahFae.