Home | Newly Submitted | Random Story | Search
Categories | Titles | Members | Forum Boards | Log In

Reviews for How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic

(1) 2 [Next]  LAST»»

jadecadence (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
Ahhh - le pussibilities! ;)) 

Author's Response: LOL I prefer to think as little as puss-ible about them!
2014/10/11 - 01:21

burberry outlet sale (Anonymous )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
Bonsai trees need care similar to any other plant below is a basic outline of care for a Bonsai tree.LightingMany people do not realize that most bonsai trees should be kept outdoors year round. The few exceptions are the non-traditional tropical trees which need kept inside if you are not in a tropical environment. Outdoor bonsai should be positioned where they will get six or more hours of light each day. Indoor bonsai should receive two to four hours of natural or artificial sunlight. For inside bonsai full spectrum flourescents can provide the necessary light levels but the treen needs to be placed close to the light.WateringMore trees die from a lack of water or low humidity than anything. The soil used to raise bonsai is normally a porous soil that drains well. The type of soil as well as the shape and design of the pot will affect quickly the soil dries out. Different tree types will require different amounts of water to thrive. You will need to research your specific species of tree for a general guideline and then closely monitor how the tree grows to determine if it is being watered correctly. If you take your pot and place it on top of some rocks in a tray full of water this will help increase the humidity around the tree and will aid in its growth. Along with normal watering about once a week you should fully submerge the bonsai tree pot until no more bubbles escape from the pot or the soil.PruningPruning serves dual purpos in the care of bonsai trees. Pruning removes branches that clutter and hamper the aestetic design of the tree. Pruning is also used to direct and control the growth of the tree. You will also have fine pruning sucha s pinching and leaf pruning to help encourage branching. Always remember when you are pruning your bonsai that you can always remove something later but it is very difficult to put it back after you have cut it. So if in doubt leave it for now. You should start with a light pruning then give it two or three weeks and wait for the bounce back to decide if you need to do more. pay special attention to developing the trunk, any where on the trunk that a branch is allowed to grow will thicken. When pruning you need to keep the top and bottom (roots) balanced for optimum results.FertilizingYour average bonsai will need fertilized once or twice a month. You should only ferterlize during the normal growing season. Us a water soluble ferterlizer and apply it when the soil is already wet.SoilProper soil choice is critical optimum bonsai tree care, the soil affects the roots, feeding, and watering of your tree. The size and shape of the pot affects both the appearance as well as growth and health of the bonsai. As a rule of thumb be about 34 as wide as the tree is tall and about half as deep. The height of the p

Author's Response:
2013/11/05 - 16:48

Ljpjcg (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
Damn hilarious!

Author's Response: Thank you! It was fun to write, so long as I didn't _think_ too much about it!
2012/07/21 - 03:40

lolly (Anonymous )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
You are a genius! That was solid hilarity! You also gave a perfect explanation for why Hermione chose Ron.

Author's Response: Oh, golly--apparently I'm dracontia the late genius . I'm so sorry for not responding sooner to your lovely review! Thank you (much belated!)
2010/12/19 - 19:11

sunny33 (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
You know, there are people out there getting their blood pressure up about genetic engineering. Now, what's a few toad genes in your potatoes,compared with the thought of the offspring that Filch and Doris could produce! :)

Author's Response: Oh, dear... toad genes in potatoes... Forris babies... I think the end of the world is nigh, either way.
2008/05/18 - 04:18

slytherensangel26 (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
ha ha! that is realy good! perfect in fact...

Author's Response:

Thank you very much!

Mr. Filch is enjoying his moment of glory... :)


2008/01/08 - 21:26

nightshift (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
Gah! Although, it is the best explanation for Mrs. Norris I've ever seen.

Author's Response: LOL Infernal inspiration can be wonderful at times... Glad you got something out of it, though characterizing it as 'enjoyment' might be a little optimistic, given the subject matter. Thanks for the review!
2007/04/25 - 12:32

harmony_bites (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
This was hysterical. There's just something so delicious about Lavender, the fashion maven of Hogwarts, making over the only canon figure that really makes Snape (canon book Snape) seem dashingly handsome in comparison. And it's scary how much this sense this Hermione's rationale for wanting Ron is. And the Mrs. Norris angle was perfect.

Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words on what I still consider a very ugly little tale! I'm just glad you found the combination of the incorrigible accomplishing the impossible by the most implausible means imaginable, entertaining. :)

Here's to interspecies romance! (Cat X Grapefruit) LOL

~dracontia (actively promoting 'Irony as the Universal Language' day)
2006/10/28 - 00:15

togspled (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
i was getting scared to read it for fear there would be filch sex. but the rating reassured me. thank you for leaving it out!

Author's Response: You're very much welcome! I would be scared to WRITE Filch sex, so you're safe with me in that regard.  In fact, I think you're pretty brave for reading this at all--I've really got to stop responding to challenges unless I can come up with something better than this. Thanks for the review!
2006/09/27 - 13:38

Maddy Riddle (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic

I really have to thank you for not writing more detailed information about Filch's date. I was rather sick at the mention of "Filch" and "virginity" in the same sentence. *shudders*

Good story, tho. ;) 

Author's Response: If it makes you feel better, I squicked myself just writing as much (or as little) as I did! Talk about wanting to shoot the plot bunny... If Filch wants more detail, he'll have to find another writer to do his dirty work for him.

Thanks for reviewing!

(Oh, and I hear the next chapter of the Sex Ed story is almost through the queue...)
2006/07/27 - 00:21

snapes_faerie (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
doris is... wow....bad mental picture of the old broad but at least filch had it!

Author's Response: Oh, yeah--Doris: bad mental picture. Doris + Filch = Worse mental picture! Thank goodness for 'fade to black!'
2006/07/02 - 12:48

SS Lupin (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
I had the same reaction as Hermione when Lavender talked of the last plan.

You have some mind, dracontia, and Merlin only knows what you'll come up with next.

Hilarious and cute story - you even made me feel sorry for Lavender for a few minutes! :)

Author's Response: *Merlin speaking* "I have no clue what dracontia will come up with next."

*Cassandra* "I know! I know! 'The Ring on Her Finger,' and, in no particular order, a Sex Ed story and Jarvey sequel!"

*Merlin, shakes his head* "I can't believe it."
(The weak Classical/Late Middle Ages humor interlude is now over. Thanks for your patience.)

That's a new height (or maybe a new low) for me, if I can evoke any measure of sympathy for Lavender!
 Here's to Challenges! And especially to SSL and dracontia! WOOT!
2006/07/01 - 14:52

LillaQ (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
I'd call it  - ehm, inventive. LOL! And funny!

Author's Response: Thank you! I was thinking it needed a genre called 'squick', but 'inventive' works nicely!
2006/07/01 - 13:14

ccrawley10 (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
Too cute.

Author's Response: You're too kind!
2006/07/01 - 12:32

apisa_b (Signed )1: How Argus Filch Got Wild, Got Laid, and Got His Magic
That was brilliant. I loved your Lavender, liked your Hermione and Doris (that was nearly a stroke of genius), and Filch ... well, he had to be part of the story, hadn't he?

Author's Response: Darn that pesky Filch! Were it not for him... well, I guess there wouldn't be a story. I'm trying to figure out if that's a good or bad thing! As for Doris... yes, 'stroke' may be the operative word there (feels woozy)

Poor Lavender! All she wants is to make the world more beautiful, one face at a time. Thank goodness there are lovely folks like you who understand her.
2006/07/01 - 12:24

(1) 2 [Next]  LAST»»

Please Leave a Review

Screenreader Users and Text-Based Browsers, Click Here to Leave a Review

Writers' Resource | Beta Directory | Submission Rules | Links & Affiliations | Help
Terms of Use | Disclaimer | About Us | Support TPP

Click to join thepetulantpoetess Chatzy Group TPP LJ Community

The Patronus skin was created especially for The Petulant Poetess by TarahFae.